Spooktober Day 3!! HARDWARE!

Day 3 HARDWARE

Diggin deep into the well that is my childhood with this one. A well deserved place it is as well.

Thankfully it also has FINALLY arrived on blu ray! Yay us and what a time to be alive!

In 4k no less. So for the uninitiated lets dive on in. Because this was an oddity that developed an almost similar following as Pitch Black.

In that weird people dug the hell out of the visuals, music video like production, and message.

But also assassinbot.

This came from the mind of Richard Stanley, whom if you are familiar with film, well. The man has his own ‘legends’ we’ll say. It starts off a bit like Star Wars, by dropping you off into the middle of a story. The world is a wasteland of war and poverty. People have metal implants, violence is rampant, and everyone is doing their best Mad mad meets Fallout Raider outfits. Radiation and pollution have taken over the land and made life a little less than ideal for most. We begin by following a combat soldier on leave from the combat zone, headed back to civilization, but not before scavenging some remains from the wasteland on his way. All we know is its some sort of droid, decommissioned and no longer functioning. So he leaves a few bits to get those looked at and identified. The rest? Well.

He wants to earn himself some good boy points, so seeing as his girlfriend is an artist and enjoys making sculptures. He gives her the remains of killbot and they bang their troubles away. All while her sleazy landlord watches in pixelated glory from his secret recording spot. For reasons.

We also get a nice soundtrack during it, and after. Actually the whole music score is worth checking out.

So once he’s hit the snooze button and dick enters recovery mode, she decides to get up and begin working with what he gave her. Deathbot.

She paints the skull a very nifty American Flag, enough to make any red blooded American cry an eagle out of both eyes. But that’s not her message. It just looks cool. It’s the centerpiece of her artwork and she seems pretty pleased. Until her boyfriend has to leave because. Well maybe his friend found out a bit more about this robot, and even if she’s afraid he’ll run off and vanish on her (Not like it’s happened before, but it has, and it might happen again) but he leaves anyway and goes on a fun adventure.

Of discovering his friend is dead. Murdered by one of the remains from the murderbot. He then becomes highly, surprisingly aware. That the awesome looking remains he gave his girlfriend to paint and play with. Are indeed the remains of the Mark 13. The most deadly unstoppable android developed. It has poison, darts, fangs with poison. A thirst for murdering, and it can even communicate.

It’s a very cool scene that still sticks with me, same as the paint job on the android. But once it powers back up. It begins putting itself together as best it can with the pieces of metal around it. Using her artwork to create as best a body for itself as it can. Honestly the first time I watched this I thought, hey maybe he’ll be cool with her for painting him up and giving him the parts needed to rebuild himself. But no. No. It’s a killbot so. Killbot gotta kill.

So we begin a tense indoor chase of murderbot vs artist. All while boyfriend who can’t get to her yet, tries coordinating with a dear junky friend to try and keep an eye on her for him. Also trying to help her is the very ready to help landlord. Who also gets off on watching her have sex, and collecting items of hers, all because she had him come in her room once to repair something and she was nice to him.

Which invites him leaving lewd calls asking if she’s “ready to ride the Hershey highway” and doing his best to charm her with being as lewd as he possibly can.

So of COURSE bad things will happen to him! We just have to wait for those bad things. And bad indeed they are when they do.

Although he does something truly horrific before that.

He comes to her aid because the murderbot has bypassed all door functions and she can’t escape. So he has to rescue her, and while doing so. Taking this as his moment to be a white knight and ask personally about the above mentioned Hershey highway. But that isn’t the crime he commits. No. The crime he leaves us the viewers with his rendition of the song. “They all walk the wibbly wobbly walk”. I genuinely wish I was joking with you, when I say that song has forever stuck in my mind after seeing this film once. A gross greasy man singing “They all walk, the wibbly wobbly walk, and they all talk the wibbly wobbly talk”, it will forever haunt me. Even rewatching the movie I wasn’t ready for it.

I don’t know who would ever be ready for it, and curse the one who would sing along with it. Insane people….anyway.

After the wiggly wobbly Hershey rider meets his demise, thanks to his doubting her danger, warnings and instead focusing on opening her blinds again so he can watch her undress and bang. We resume the madness of robot versus artist.

But what of her boyfriends friend and her potential protector? Well he’s high off his ass and tripping serious balls so he’s not entirely that helpful for the time being.

But when he is. The film suddenly kicks into another gear. Which happens a few times and the ways it happens are really great. It’s not just a subtle transition. They are all brutal sudden in your face transitions each act of the film.

This one is no exception.

Soon we have security forces gathering and boyfriend with junky under wing coming to her aid. It’s a good effort but, well not what we’d call a win for the home team so much as it is a win for Killbot. With a rather brutal death. Which was not really expected. But highly appreciated. And part of a side story of sorts that pops up in the film.

Which is a both odd and fun part of the film. Which makes it feel more like the killbot, pieced together parts forming a whole experience more than a story.

Because all of this plays out more like a horrific experience than a story. Even when you think it’s over. There is STILL a good chunk of film left to get through. And more than one fake out ending too.

So how does it end? Well that depends. Which I kind of love, where in other films it would serve to frustrate more than anything.

In one ending. The couple is able to stop the android and seems for all reasons to be dead and gone. So the couple embrace and finally relax. Only for the Assassinbot to pop up and say “I didn’t hear no bell” and round 5 begins. Which comes to a crushingly cool conclusion as boyfriend soldier battles killbot to save his lady fair, ending up doing so, and sadly getting himself injected with poison robofangs. So now her love is dying while trying to hold on. It’s pretty damn sad, but bad ass. You’d think that would end things. But killbot is just not done.

As long as oil flows in his tubes, he’s gonna do his thing. Which gives us the final round. Artist and recently pissed off single lady VS Killbot 13. Which of all places? Takes place in a shower.

That’s the end of HER story, But the film continues its story of life and the world. The war zones and of all things. The approval of the MARK 13 by the government to be mass manufactured. Which I love because the man announcing this is Angry Bob, voiced by Iggy Pop. As well as late great metal god Lemmy of Motorhead, appearing as a Water Taxi Driver.

There’s a good deal I didn’t bring up because I gotta leave something for people to discover right? I mean I did mention the robot is capable of communicating? Well it does at one point, and it’s pretty damn creepy. It uses an interface with her pc to talk to her about why it’s doing this, what it wants. It was pretty cool for the time and really worked in adding to the overall malice and, I’d dare say better than the Terminator translation of a machine that does not care, and cannot be reasoned or bargained with.

Again I gotta mention the music. The film really does get pretty damn near Lynchian with its sudden music video like segments. And I dig it. Like the unholy Wibbly Wobbly shit, the music stayed with me, I still find myself at random moments repeating “This is what you want, this is what you get”

Sadly the film was cursed with its success.

It wasn’t expected to be a big success, but after it was released and word got out. It took off, and because of that. People wanted their slice of the profits. So the film got tied up in legal issues which kept it from dvd for a very long time. Each time it came out, it ended up vanishing. Until recently when it came out thanks to Sevrin and Ronin films.

The box art is what caught my attention growing up. It was a red washed out killbot vision closeup of a womans eyes and a green target with bright lime green text HARDWARE.

The film has remained both a cult hit and curiosity. But by and large people tend to enjoy and embrace its visual style, score and unique horror.

It’s worth checking out, absolutely. And more so owning. If you feel so inclined. Hell anything from Richard Stanley is worth owning, even if just for the stories behind the scenes. He’s come a long way and still going. Thankfully.

Speaking of before we part ways, I would highly recommend this film paired with Dust Devil. You’ll understand once you watch it first, followed by this one. As always…

Check it out!