Spooktober Day 15 THE CELLAR!!!

Day 15

The Celler

As with many of these. It comes from my childhood. Something I vaguely remember. Remember but not the title. Or the box art stuck with me and kept the film in my head.

This too is one of those, and for one of those rare moments. An actual age appropriate(sort of) horror film.

Another genre we visited with the likes of TROLL, and Grandmas House. Children in horror.

This might be why people from that era are all about telling this generation to man up, tough through it and keep on keepin on. Because we had things like this being made, for teens, and kids. People today thankfully don’t have to suffer through these nightmare fueled adventures. Though I kinda wish they did. Because they can be very entertaining when done right.

This is one of those cases.

The story is about a city family recently relocating to out in the middle of nowhere. In Texas. A place called Compassion. Which already should be a fair warning. In America anytime we name something a kind name, Hope, Compassion. Serenity. The place tends to be close to a literal hellscape.

This is no exception, as we see most the ground covered in deadly black scorpions, skulls, and no signs of life.

But we are introduced to what will play a part in the movie later. Which is really racist and kinda funny.

We see a native American spear sticking out of the soil. Soil bubbling goo, surrounded by deadly scorpions and a large skull. Meanwhile on this same piece of land. A young boy watches as people work a nearby oil rig. Digging into the soil in search of, well oil. But things are not well. As the drill strikes something solid and stops pumping. As they pull it up they realize part of the tubing is now gone, and something that looks like wet slabs of flesh are wrapped around the tubing. An odd omen for sure.

The young boy takes off deciding he doesn’t care about this and chases after his doggo. Who is….playing with scorpions. Which no one seems to mind. Because why care if your dog I don’t know. Gets stung, dies?!

Well this little bag of annoyance goes roaming around and stumbled onto this native American spear in the ground. Of course he’s excited! It has cool stuff on it, and it has a charm made of rabbits feet. For those unaware, it used to be considered good luck having a rabbits foot with you. No naturally he feels pretty darn good about this and pockets the charm.

He then also decides why not pull out this spear from the ground and start acting like an Indian. Hooping and hollering dancing with the spear. Because who needs to be respectful.

Well thankfully a local native American spots this and immediately stops the dumb white boy. Taking the spear and immediately jabbing it back into the soil. Very obviously this was meant to stop something. But when he goes around asking the boy for the rabbit foot charm. The little turd is nowhere to be found.

Happily though, this starts off a series of events that this little shit is responsible for, and now will pay. Sort of.

Sadly it begins with the dogs. It always does. But they want to show you this is serious, and also a messed up horror film. In movies you are told, if you kill the dog, you better have a good pay off because people will turn against you for killing the dog.

Well they kill two dogs, and 3 puppies. That’s a hell of a confident statement.

But they also kill his dad. Because if your gonna traumatize a kid. Better to go full hog with it.

Whatever it is that killed all of them. It now wants the boy. But the boy decided at the last minute to place the rabbit charm on the cellar door and….it keeps the thing at bay.

Fast forward to ‘present day’ and now we have a grown up, drunk waste of life, with a rabbit charm. Yes. The boy grew up into a waste of life. Who just happens to be selling his land to a new family with a young boy, and another kid on the way.

Things can only go well from here of course.

For the evil of coure. The humans I don’t imagine much good for them. Sorry. Team Monster here.

But is there a monster? Well yes there is. What else could be growling and and howling menacingly.

Well annoying drunk is now trying to sell his families land. He’s doing a great job of it too. By acting sketchy, unsure if he wants to sell it or not. Ignoring omens and bad signs. Also acting incredibly odd when asked about a large solid wood china cabinet, oddly placed where the cellar door at one time was. Which the wife ask if it comes with the house or not. He informs her “Absolutely it comes with the house, and it has to stay right there, never ever move it”

Naturally this doesn’t arouse any suspicions.  Nor does the native American medicine man blessing the property and performing rituals. Just normal everyday Texas stuff.

Including a circular bone fire.

The start of a happy family moving into a cursed home.

It’s no longer the drunks problem. He got his money, and he is gone!

Well within less than a full day. The family has discovered a relic colt revolver in the china cabinet, and they also moved said cabinet they were told never ever not ever to move. So of course they discover the cellar to hell. Complete with a locked, padlocked, and chained door.

So naturally they bust that and open the cellar door. This is why your home insurance is through the roof. People like this letting loose ancient curses.

So do we know anything about this creature? Why yes we do. We learn thanks to the local medicine man that, this creature was made for killing white people, or as the dad calls them ‘whitey’. We are told his grandfather was a powerful shaman, and he with the help of the village elders creature an evil beast to kill the white man and drive him from their lands. Making the beast out of the parts of different dangerous animals. The only problem with making a white man killing demon hell beast. Is that it also kills native americans. So it had to be stopped. However this beast lives underground. For reasons. So that is why the holy spear was placed into the ground, sealing the evil where it was. But since the thing had been messed with. It was set lose and hidden in that house. Which is why the medicine man now blesses the property daily.  Trying to protect the family as its main pray is newborns and the young.

So of course the family won’t mind living there with a new baby and their son.

But so far things are just fine. Nothing wrong. Just some ominous signs here and there, some evil sounds, some bubbling goop in the ground. As long as the ground stays blessed and the holy spear stays where it’s planted. All should be fine.

Well of course that can’t be the case. So while out riding an ATV with his dad. The son just can’t help himself and picks up the damn spear. Immediately hooping and hollering. But dad tries to be responsible and tells the son “Put the spear back, its not yours’, but his son. Is a little shit. He whines to his dad about how this is America, and the land of the free. His Father tells him we should honor the native warriors and leave their relics where they lay. But his son goes on about the land of freedom and how we ran those people off the land. So the dad decides oh what the hell why not.

As soon as the son takes off with his dad on the ATV, cheering for his cool discovery. We are shown two cute bobcat kittens.

Well they die like the puppies earlier did. By slimy evil goop.

Which then kills the native American who’d spent his time doing rituals to protect these dumbasses.

Meanwhile mama bobcat is mad at the husband for the loss of her babies, and the freeing of this ancient evil back upon the land.

No sooner do these events occur, than our newly elected head asshole brat gets visited in his room by a monster under his floorboards. But to his dad. This is just a nightmare. To the son. It’s a warning that he had coming. “Cool spear bro. Im comin for your soul!”

Of course nothing stays nice forever. So the dad decides it’s best to adventure down into the cellar. What does he bring with him?

Well if this was a point and click adventure game lets go over his available gear so far.

We have a colt revolver with ammunition, an Indian spear, charm, whiskey and flashlight.

He opts to go down the stairs into the dark cellar with an oil lamp. Because he didn’t upgrade his beginners gear.

So dad takes a leisurely stroll through the larger than the house itself cellar. Literally this thing is like a mini fortress. It has spears, mining caves, work benches. It’s an area in a game you know you are meant to use for crafting ammo, upgrades and preparing for the next section of the game.

But for dad. It’s simply a stinky wet hole his wife told him to get inside.

Meanwhile or resident collector of native American artifacts, has discovered a tire swing. Which seemed fun at the time. Until his sad realization struck him that. He has no friends. Therefor no way to be swung back. So he just hovers over the middle of this murky pool of gray water. Thinking about his life and the sad reality no one loves him.

But thankfully that’s stopped short as a monsters swol arm punches out from the water and grabs into the tire swing. Causing him to wet himself and nearly fall into the water.

Well he was nearly eaten, the film would have taken a huge turn and it might’ve been interesting. But alas. No. He looks at an attempt on his life as an opportunity for friendship. At least now he knows someone is trying to get him. Which means spending time with him.

So after being nearly mauled and devoured by a native American black magic hell beast. He decides to hang a whole raw chicken over the pond. Which the monster takes with a “Thanks bro” and leaves only a chunk remaining.

Which was what Billy wanted. You see he setup a camera in an attempt to capture a picture. Much like the underwater explorer in Jaws 2 who died snapping a photo of the shark.

But much like that photographer. The picture is just a little blurry. Which honestly is a bit B.S. Because the photo clearly defines a monster arm, with a bit of wobble.

But he determines this a failure.

Speaking of failures. His father has his own monster to deal with. A slick Texas oil baron. I guess. Or land snatching asshole. It’s hard to tell honestly. But the man wants his land, for reasons. And he takes to constantly bullying him about it. Which he kindly takes in stride, while also ‘accidentally’ letting off some explosives in a small pond near the man. Because haha Gottem!

Nevermind a law suit, or worse killing someone. Well there is one downside. And that’s the dad got fired. Actually its an upside. He deserved it. But as he tells his son. There comes a time in a mans life when he’s gotta stand up for himself. Which is a great idea when you just moved and bought a house you can’t afford. But at least he can hold his head up high.

Of course this makes him a great stay at home dad. Trying to figure out bills, how they’ll make do. Shouting at his wife and slamming the baby bed across the room when she tells him the baby needs her right now not him.

These are all good things I am sure.

Like the boy also watching his poor little lizard get pulled under the cellar door. I actually felt bad about the lizard. And the kittens. Maybe the puppies.

Okay the puppies too.

But this is where things get serious. Because now that we know he is afraid of the cellar. His dad must confront him on this, and of course the importance of being a man. Which means not being afraid. Also there are no monsters.

But they BOTH know that isn’t true.

It’s something I actually enjoy in the movie and thing is a great thing you don’t see that often.

Normally. In this type of film, you would have the parents not believing the kid, and the kid having to go out on his own to take care of things. He has to prove he’s right, protect his family and keep them safe.

So actually having a film where both the son and dad, are aware there is something there. That both of them don’t know what it is. Don’t want to admit they don’t know what it is. Or that it exist. They’re at least not being told one or the other is crazy. The dad just can’t admit he was scared by something down there, and that his son saw it too.

But the son is intent on proving its existence, and keeping everyone safe. So much so that he grabs a bear trap and chain. Dragging it into the cellar and setting up a trap.

Which works! He actually manages to snag the creature, which yay for that, because it was intent on killing him! But he caught it, and escaped. Quick to draw in his room exactly what he saw. But whether its still there or not. Is anyones guess.

But we have more pressing matters. Like Drunky the former spear stealer. He encountered the new spear stealer and asked him how life was on the cursed house he sold to his parents, and he informs him it’s going as crappily as you’d imagine living on cursed land with a native American hell beast killing things.

Well he feels a tinge of guilt, and gas. So he decides to gift to the boy the charmed rabbit foot for protection. Explaining to him and to us, that. Yes native Americans are heathens. So to put it in the words a Christian can understand. A rabbit is innocent. So he has to be taken. So that we won’t. That’s how charms work. That’s what gives it power. Like with communion and bread wafers. That’s just thin bread crisp and wine. But with a blessing and prayer. It’s magical. Never mind the fact its native American magic. We have to break it down for the lighter skin toned.

So now armed with both a spear, and his charmed rabbit foot. This brat feels a lot more empowered as he appropriates more native American relics. But Drunky is no longer protected. So he has to die. Because he started this off and pissed that creature off real good by locking it up.

Kudos on them for doing a pretty realistic crash. Meaning the truck he was driving didn’t explode when it hit the ground. If a car does explode. It’s the gas tank. Not the car itself. That only happens if you put a bomb on the car.

So after he bites it. Little white warrior decides it’s time to up his game. So he’s going back to that basement. But he’s not bring a damn spear. He’s packing the one thing my parents made sure I never once ever in my life was near or ever could find. A flamethrower.

This kid.

Strapped onto his back.

A muther trucking flame thrower.

And he is now intent on visiting the cellar to take on that monster.

But before we go down that journey, I gotta give props to the dad.

The man is hilarious in his roll. He’s losing his grip on reality in the funniest way that everyone seems to accept, despite the blaring red flags of caution.

For instance. He’s in bed with his wife, broken because of the loss of his job. The fear of not knowing what to do. Their sons obsession with monsters, as well as his own fear of one. She tries to cuddle him and comfort him. But a crow at the window ruins it with a CAW CAW!!

His reaction. Is to rush from the bed growling. Run to the window, and begin wildly firing the colt revolver out the window. Which he apparently is sleeping with under his pillow now. While his wife can only watch and lightly cry.

We now have two men with separate goals.

We have dad buying high powered ammunition because he hates those birds. But also the monster.

We have his son stealing a literal crap ton of lucky rabbits feet from a store to protect from the monster.

Both of their paths will eventually collide.

Also the monster has freed itself. It chewed off its own mutated leg! We are now entering the zone of final conflict.

But not before the monster lets us know he means business. For reals.

He does so by attacking the boys one friend, an son of the asshole land baron oil guy.

Well. This is when they begin employing the Sean Connery tactic of gangland violence.

If one of there guys comes at you with a knife, you come at them with a gun. They put one of yours in the hospital. You put one of theirs in the morgue.

This monster threatens his home. He gets a flame thrower. This monster kills his friend. He grabs dynamite and a detonator.

What.

Yes. The same kid. Who uses bear traps and flamethrowers. Just upgraded to explosives.

This is going to be, as JR would say on WWF. A hell of a slobber knocker.

But before that. We need to do some good in this world. I guess.

The not an oil baron, land grabber bad guy, whatever the hell he is. Decides to go creeping around the house, down into the cellar and. He gets eaten. So now we are down to the family element only.

BUT

BEFORE THAT!!

We need a man to man showdown between the dad and son.

Dad is tired of his son pushing the monster story. He is trying to deal with this buy ignoring it until he has no other choice. But his son is wanting to face this down head on.

So naturally the dad handles this as well as he did with the crow at his bedroom window.

He tosses out the house all the lucky charms. Nails open the cellar door. Locks his son and their newborn baby in the kitchen together and slams a chair against the door to make sure no one can open it.

Because his son has to realize he’s tired of this monster crap, and he needs to get it out of his head.

Meanwhile his wife is trying to reason with him. Which he won’t. He tosses her around the room and constantly tells her to shut up and let him handle it.

Of course the monster is thankful for this, and walks up the stairs once his entrance music starts playing.

Mind you now. This house is rather small. This creature is incredibly loud. It is roaring loudly. But somehow no one outside the kitchen can hear it.

But Billy doesn’t need to hear it. He can see it. And he’s gotta defend him and his baby sister.

But mom is tired of her husbands shit. She has been tossed around one too many times so she smacks him with the butt of a rifle and storms into the kitchen all gangbusters. Ready to defend her babies.

This time. They FINALLY see the monster. And it is pretty damn creepy. Still even today. It’s a good design.

But now that the whole family has seen the monster. It’s time to put aside spousal abuse and thoughts of divorce. They team up and it’s time to go to war. Dad is headed down to the cellar with his rifle. Billy the boy is grabbing his dynamite and remote detonator. Also spear. They need the spear.

Well it is indeed a slobber knocker. The beast is very slick and slimy. As is their cellar.

Dad tries taking it on with a gun, and fails. He and son try taking it on with electricity and water. And fail. Then they try stabbing it with a spear. Hey that works. But not lethally. So it’s time for Major Dynamite to step in!. They load up the dynamite and stab all they can stab into the spear driven into the monsters back. Pissing it off more, as it hears the beeping of a bomb behind it. If only it hadn’t chews off his foot, it might be able to have run out of there. But it can’t. And the Native American black magic hellbeast is no more.

Their house is burnt down, the monster now torn to pieces. It’s time to roll credits. But not yet! There’s still bubbles in the cellar! Which somehow survived the blast!

NOW we run credits!!

It’s an honestly good movie. Sort of in the same vein as XTRO, but less crazy insanity. The acting is, a joy whenever the father is on screen, obviously. But otherwise everyone does well with the material they’re given. The story is simple and direct. The effects though cheap, are well done. I mean it’s kind of sad but funny how they handle the puppies and kittens dying. They only let us hear the adult animals cry out in pain then go silent. But the babies. They show us a scene where we see the puppers and kittens. But the next time we see them. They are skeletons. It’s a good way of doing it as you won’t upset people showing a bloody body, or half mutilated corpses. Especially of cute animals.

Otherwise the movie really didn’t pull many of its punches. It sets up a lot, delivers on all of it. It’s a solid, entertaining low budget movie with a perfect run time.

And the artwork is also pretty wicked.

Its an open doorway you can barely make out, with chains all linked in the middle by a padlock dripping blood. It gives you no indication of a monster, or what awaits. Just a simple tag line “Whatever you do, DON’T go into…The Cellar”

Yes there are chuckle worthy moments, but they are so few and far between it doesn’t distract from the movie. Everything moves along swiftly from one point to the next. Like an actual movie. Even if its dated, everything still holds up. I was glad to rediscover it because as I said I grew up loving this film. But never remembered the name. So years later learning it. I was glad to find it again and watch it all over. I still remembered a lot of it and enjoyed I would say almost as much as I had first seeing it.

Absolutely it is worth checking out, and you should rent it, buy it, whatever you do to procure your films. Give it a look, you won’t regret it!