Spooktober Day 16 SCANNER COP!!

Day 16

Scanner Cop

What do you do, when you have a popular low budget film, and you want to do a sequel, but they’re already making the third one, but you still want to do it anyway?

You make the movie as a standalone and hope for the best.

Did it work? Well I mean. Sort of.

So the year is 1994. Scanners was a successful horror film, they made a sequel in 92, and were working on another that’d see release in 95. So this film comes along in the short period between films and. Decided to wedge itself into the films timeline. Like a President pushing aside world leaders so he could be in the forefront.

Is it any good? Well. It’s interesting, which is the most we can hope for usually.

And seeing as films like Maniac Cop and Psycho Cop were big draws. Why not throw in a scanner cop? Yes Why not.

So We live in a world where scanners are, well. Somewhat accepted. They are all heavily medicated as too surpress their abilities. Letting them live normal(somewhat) lives. But if they stop their meds, that’s a bad time for everyone. Including the scanners themselves.

So what’s the movie about? Well it begins with a young boy and his scanner dad, living it up in an apartment somewhere in the united states of Canada. His dad has stopped taking his meds and has begun talking to their vegetables, as well as delusions. Which cause him to freak out and see himself growing little Ken doll heads on his forehead. Yep, dads lost it.

So he’s gotta go! Which his landlord takes care of for him as the cops are helpless against scanner powers.

For those unfamiliar. Scanner powers include staring hard at someone while a track of what sounds like music screaming or ‘AAAAAAH, AAAAAAH, AAAAAAH’ plays in the background. Scanner abilities can range from mind control, body control, and exploding the body if you concentrate hard enough.

It’s pretty intense stuff, and his kid has it now as well.

So with his dad laid out by way of shotgun medication. He’s now an orphan. So a cop on the scene decides to adopt him. What can go wrong with that.

Well, nothing actually.

In fact he leads a productive life. He’s got a loving family, friends. He’s well respected and just graduated police academy with high points. So he’s a good dude.

So Scanner Sam is now serving the LAPD. Good for him, his new cop dad is proud.

But on the night of his celebration it’s a typical night of murder in LA. But it’s a different kind of murder.

Cop murder!

Random seemingly okay people are taking out police officers left and right. With no motive or apparent cause.

Though we do get somewhat of a glimpse into it from one unfortunate killing.

As a police officer stops by a news paper stand to see about picking up some reading material. The stands owner stares back at the officer in shock. In his eyes, the officer appears to be a Hispanic gang member holding a gun out to him. So he picks up a crowbar and begins attacking the officer. Forcing his partner to shoot the news stand owner.

Something is not right in the land of angels.

Soon dozens of reports begin piling in about similar killings. Which upset and trouble the police, but please greatly a very puffy white haired man and his very brick house built lady friend.

So Scanner Sam is on his first patrol, fun fact once you graduate the police academy, you spend a year or so shadowing another officer. Until they determine you are fine to work on your own. Well Scanner Sam is ready to his the streets with his elder officer helping to take down drug dealers and patrolling the streets! But mostly taking down a drug dealer so we know he’s a good guy. Which is made even more apparent when they visit an ice factory and find out that. As Scanner Sam puts it “Hey partner, looks like they’ve got ice, in their ice” so they take these crooded people down, a victory for the streets, but a defeat for the trust between Scanner Sam and his partner. His partner saw Scanner Sam use his scanning powers to stop an attack. But no one is going to report it. Because officers have secrets, which would be interesting to talk about

But we got more cops to kill!!

The next unfortunate case is a doctor being asked to give a ‘gangbanger’ a checkup. However when the doctor sees the policemen. They turn into zombies attempting to attack him. So the doctor stabs away at his ‘zombies’.

The movie is laying it out for us, but we have to wait for the movie to catch us up on what’s going on. But heck with that! SPOILERS!! Ha like that’s even needed if you’ve followed all of these the past 3 years.

It would seem a very powerful scanner is out there infecting peoples minds. Making them see their worst fear any time they encounter an officer.

Which granted, that’s a pretty good premise to be honest. But how do they do so?

Well Mr Poofy hair’s tall lady friend goes around spraying Febreze in peoples faces. But she calls it a nuroblocker…something. So she sprays people, brings them to a lab, and Poofy hair goes to work, warping their minds and planting little seeds waiting to pop when they come in contact with police.

“When you see these uniforms, you will relive the horrors of your past.” He tells a man who soon begins to associate police officers with the Viet cong.

Which is highly unfortunate, as that man turns out to be a janitor at the police precinct. So he immediately begins seeing Charlie everywhere but the trees. Blasting away.

12 years as a janitor, that’s a career choice, and it all ends in shotgun fire.

Seriously that’s commitment, 12 years as a janitor,

So what are they to do?! Well. The answer is simple. Chief Dad wants Scanner Sam to stop his meds for a few days, so he can use his scanner abilities to get into the head of the doctor who stabbed cop zombies. Try and find out what’s going on and how it happened.

Of course this is a great idea. Tell a scanner to stop taking the pills keeping him from going insane and his powers killing him. Knowing after a few days of no meds will drive them insane. But its for the greater good. The greater good.

So with the doctor in a straight jacket, Scanner Sam sits down with him and we are good to go. Begin intense staring contest and the AAAAAAAH AAAAAAH AAAAAAH music. Which isn’t so bad, except they use it every single tiny instant they use their powers.

But we learn that…well not much. We just learn what it was the doctor was made to see, but now who and how. So of course higher ups see this as a waste of time. Especially when the doctor decides to kill himself after. This is all of course, going well.

Of course Sam is taking it well. I mean he’s becoming more powerful, people don’t trust him, and he’s questioning his own sanity. So yeah. Good choice there.

We of course get to see some of the extent of his power as he stops two robbers assaulting a woman. He stops one man from shooting him, and his partner in crime he sends cartwheeling backwards into the air.

Which although it does make him feel good as a police officer to be helping someone. It does slightly come off as pants crappingly horrifying to everyone else.

So, holding onto his sanity with greased hands, Scanner Sam is ready to do some old fashioned police work. Which is meant to be a pile of paperwork of which there is no escape, and case files stacked higher than himself. However we learn Scanner Sam is a speed reader of near supernatural levels. So it’s just a brief cup of coffee for him.

Does it help things? Well sort of. He learns that, Tarot cards had been found on these men, and one of them connected to the doctor is the zombie monsters he saw. But the biggest help we get out of this. Is them coming to the realization finally that “They’re being programmed to kill something else they see.” So now all police officers are being told to perform their duties out of uniform. Smart move!

Except the bad guy watches the news too, so he ups his came from uniforms to badges.

I know you are waiting for it. I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going to make the joke about the police officers not needing badges.

So does it help?

Well it would have if not for going on tv about it and the badges being next.

As a cop comes home from work we get a kind of funny scene, though it was meant to be serious. He comes home to his wife chopping salad for dinner. He tries giving her a kiss and a little wiggle wiggle of his hips. But she’s not having it. So he jokes about “Hey, don’t make me have to put the cuffs on ya, I am a cop you know.” Which she turns to look at him and see’s him grinning holding his badge. This prompts the scary music and she sees….what I can best describe as a pixelated demon monster from Phantasmagoria. An mid 90’s horror PC game that combined real actors and video with PC point and click graphics.

So not good. No. Not good. So she stabs him! Repeatedly until she has defeated the monster.

A resounding victory for the wife demon slayer, a crushing defeat for her dead husbands sex drive.

Well, not that Scanner Sammy is even more unhinged. It’s time to use him in confronting the wife for questioning.

While the police introduce something I have never heard of, ever in police crime scenes. An officer passes out cigars to Sam and two other lead investigators. Telling them the smell in there is pretty horrible. So they light up the cigars and…wave them under their noses inhaling the smoke. That. That is a first.

Well after mind melding with the wife he learns what she saw, and what triggered it. Leave it to another detective to make the joke about officers needing badges.

But Scanner Sam is not done here. He’s diving deeper into her mind. He wants to know who it is doing this. So he catches a glimpse of the tall lady helping Mr Poofy hair. Discovering she was imprinted with these images and ideas. But can she identify who Mr. Poofy hair is? No she can’t. Scanner Sam nearly kills her while trying to find the mans identity. She was bleeding out of her face and her veins were bulging out. No biggie to Chief Dad. Even when the doctor tells them Sam is losing control and needs to take his meds. Chief Dad takes the calm approach and decides to give Scanner Sam one more day to solve things before he goes back on his meds.

Because having a scanner on the edge is the best hope we have at solving these cop murders!

You know. Like having a cop on the edge, a loose canon….nevermind.

So Scanner Sam goes about the streets in search of this mysterious lady. Eventually we get there. But not before Sam  reflects on everyone putting him down, and warning him of his being on edge, while also telling him how he could be a good cop. Storytelling!

Well he finds the lady, in a not so good part of town. Filled with not so good people. We know they are not so good as he openly hears their thoughts. Which are all about murder.

But he does find the mystery lady. Who, if you hadn’t guessed by her tarot cards. Is a fortune teller. Who has mild scanner abilities. But he’s much more a jedi than she is. Ripping into her mind, causing her to bleed out as he pumps her for information.

It’s odd. Because you would figure it might go somewhere, but it really doesn’t. The only thing it does give us. Is Mr Poofy hair. Who peaks out his drapes to stare at Scanner Sam.

Leading us to a wonderful moment of scanner abilities. Wifi capability.

Scanner Sam is trying to give a digital police artist a description of the man he saw. But its taking too long. So he nudges her aside. Puts his hands on the monitor and. Que the music AAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAH, as we see the screen image shift and alter, adding features until finally an image appears and we have his name. Dr Poofy. Who would run illegal and morally questionable test on people, in developing syrums and experiments for Scanners. Well the police busted him and he was supposed to be in a prison for life. But somehow. He escaped! Well obviously.

So the cops raid the fortune tellers business. Will it be a blood bath of scanning and AAHH AAAH music? Or will it be cleared out as if they were never there? Who knows!

Well we do because we’re watching it happen.

Swat bust through the doors, guns drawn, people barrel rolling into action stances and hero poses. But the place is empty. They were just too late.

Dr. Poofy has bigger fish to fry. As he and tarot lady set out to Febreze a police lieutenant, what diabolical plans could they have for him. Maybe a career change, tell him to retire.

I mean it’s kind of weird. I get it that Dr. Poofy is mad because the police busted him but didn’t kill him. It would make sense to go after the officers responsible for his being caught yes? I would think so. But he decided instead to wage war on all police instead.

But he had to escape first. So he befriended a doctor, talking daily to him. Convincing him that walking outside for an hour was helping him. Of course this was a lie and he killed the doctor helping him. Making his escape from the prison. Which turns out to be a building for the insane. But a prison no less.

And a prison institute that makes Scanner Sam on edge. Because he feels himself losing control, and knows he could end up there, before dying.

But no time for that and hastily told backstories! That lieutenant who was febrezed? Well he’s at the precinct and headed for. Well yeah. Chief dads office. He’s been febrezed into killing him, thinking he’s killing Dr. Poofy.

It was bound to happen, sadly. Because the story needed it, and it’s sort of a cliché. He lost one father, now he’s losing the only ‘real’ dad he ever had.

Yes Lieutenant Febreze succeeds, Scanner sam now suffers the extreme sads, and the doctor lady trying to help him while also telling him to take his meds. Tells him to take his meds. Which he still declines. He’s an adult! No one is gonna tell him what do to!

Besides, he hears tarot lady outside calling Dr. Poofy, informing him their febrezed guy didn’t finish the job!. Scanner Sam scans this and rushes outside to find the lady. Who runs off and WHAM, gets hit my an ambulance. What luck!

Well she’s not out of this yet. Sammy pushes aside the medics and forces a mind meld on her, Trying to discover where Dr. Poofy is. Which leads to an odd hallucination of him seeing her spirit run off to a building which he follows and, soon we see Scanner Sammies nightmare. An insane asylum. He’s in her mind and trying not to lose himself.

The scene itself is pretty well done surprisingly. It’s also where most of the films fore ends up. We see a man being thrown into an electro bath. A topless woman with a stitched up face, a man with the top of his skull removed and a surgeon jabbing a syringe into his brain. It’s. Well its something.

Even more of a something is Tarot lady. As well. He IS inside her mind. But she talks like they aren’t, and Since it would be too simple for us to see him stare down at her body on the street and explode her head. They opt instead for the more 90’s approved less is more approach. So we see him do the AAAH AAAAH AAAH powers on her inside her mind and explode her head there. Thus killing her in reality.

Scanner Sam is not playing around anymore.

But neither is Dr. Poofy.

Who has captured Sam and does, as all evil Dr.’s do. Lays out his evil plans, and The two have a small face off which. The doctor is not ready for. Things quickly go to crap and explosions abound. Dr. Poofy is out and running for the hospital, while Scanner Sam is giving chase. Chief Dad isn’t dead! It was a close call, but he is alive!! That’s what the lady meant when she said the Lieutenant screwed up!

So Dr. Poofy has killed the surgeon and dressed himself to play the part. Looking to kill Chief Dad on the operating table. But Scanner Sam is there and he is having no part of it. He’s done with this crap!

Now, if you haven’t gotten tired of it. If you crave it. Get ready for 5 minutes of AAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAH AAAAH AAAAH music as we get a scanner scan-off!

Just as Dr. Poofy is about to stab Chief Dad with a scalpel, Scanner Sam scan pushes him back. Several times in fact. Until we get a fun Claymation effect of Dr. Poofy’s flesh bubbling away from the side of his head to show us….a metal plate! To which he laughs at Scanner Sam and tells him “You can’t scan through that! Muhahaha” But as I said. Scanner Sammy is done with this shit. He tells the music department to pump his jam again, AAAAH AAAAH AAAAH, and he’s going full WWF mode on Dr. Poofy. Tossing any and everything at and on him. Including a defibrillator. Which shocks the crap right out of Dr. Poofy’s insides, and into his surgeon pants. It also gives enough force to blow out his metal plate and. He’s dead. Toss Sam a cold one and let him crack it open on the operating table while holding his fist up to the air.

Also his dad lives. The end.

Yeah it’s one of those as soon as the fight is done, we only have time for one happy moment shot, then we gotta cut to credits.

For being what it is, it still managed to stand on it’s own. A sort of. Cash grab with heart. I mean this could have easily served as Scanners 4 to be honest. I would’ve believed it. But it was interesting to have the film try and link itself as an off shoot of the scanner series. While still being brazen by including Scanner in the title. Can’t call it Scanners the sequel. So call it Scanner Cop. Good enough Bob.

And the movie is, good enough. It’s got a solid story. Fun moments, annoying fight  music yes, but again it fits given, scanners. It doesn’t try to be over the top or stand above the rest. Which it benefits from. It just simply is what it is, and that’s all it needed to be.

Now the real interesting part, is the artwork. Like I said and these all carry the theme of. The cover is what grabbed my attention. However as that era of VHS is now long behind us. A lot of that is lost now. But the version I saw when I rented, that stayed with me. Apparently also was used for the german release of the film. The U.S. release artwork? I never saw at the video store, and I would know it. My life since I was 10 or so had been spent loving and watching horror films, It’s the first section I rush off too. And the image of a mans distorted stretched face, with lightning like bolts shooting out from the other side. Highlighting the films title, “SCANNER COP” is what I remembered. While the Vinegar Syndrome art is where most of my wrestling remarks came from. Seriously google Vinegar Syndrome Scanner Cop and you will see it as part of a boxed set. With a man who looks like Vince McMahon and his face cracked open on the cover. It’s funny as hell.

But really. Check out the movie if you can, it’s worth a look, and the sequel actually isn’t too bad either. It does continue things established from the first, and expands a bit more on scanner life and lore. Imagine that. Two competent low budget films. Seriously rent them or brave it and buy the set. Give it a look!

Also

AAAAAAH AAAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAAH