SPOOPYWEEN DAY 30 GRIMCUTTY.......

Day 30

GRIMCUTTY

Imagine my shock when I learned this wasn’t a horrific true story about the creation of R.J. MacReady’s favorite scotch, Cutty Sark.

THEN imagine my shock when the description sounded so horrible it has to be good!

When your film centers around an internet meme that must be stopped as it’s causing people to kill each other. Only good things can or should come of it. BUT we much remain cautiously optimistic here. We felt this would be the case before with some films, only to be sadly let down.

The fact I can still hold out hope for good things is, a testament. For sure.

But also I mean. We are in the final two films now so. You kinda have to hope for a good ending to 31 reviews. So let’s have some fun, this beat is sick, I’m not going to finish that Lady Gaga lyric.

IT’S MOVIE TIME!!!

The film

Already this film has broken my believability. What parent actually opens clickbait articles with titles like ‘5 internet challenges your kid already knows’

But then again. Cosmo is still a magazine posting the same quizzes and “Things that’ll drive your man crazy in bed, that you didn’t already know”, and surprise. They’re lame as shit.

Well this is a concerned woman obviously. Maybe she is clueless to the ways of the internet, and the idea of her son chugging laundry detergent pods because its silly. I get the fear. I do. But honestly kids are the least scary idiots when it comes to these challenges. Adults are the ones who fell for 4chan telling them to hammer a nail through the top of their iphones to unlock a hidden earphone jack. They also fell for the ‘no streak’ challenge of having women pull down and show their panties had, no streaks or discharge. And adults were the ones who decided to start showing off if they’re packing guns or not in public. Kids are fine, worry about the people going to college. For if they survive, they are our future. Satan help us.

Well fear not. We don’t get to learn about what challenges on the internet it is that your kids already know about. Instead we get a mom being stabbed in the gut by her baby boy. Gutted like a fish in fact. Was it because of her deleting Fortnite? Maybe. Was it because of an internet meme hanging out watching him to make sure he killed her? Highly probable.

But yes, a boy killed his own mama, and the truly most shocking thing about this? Was this bitch wanted to die.

I know she is a bitch, hence my free use of the word. How do I know? Because who else but a bitch, would keep every sharp knife in their home, inside an open flimsy plastic container in a cabinet?

This bitch, that’s who.

Sure it keeps them out of reach of your kid ‘supposedly’, But put a goddamn lid on it! Unless you want to run that 70% risk that every time you reach for that thing, you risk the other sharp knifes raining out and killing your dumb bitch ass.

Yes I know a kid just killed a grown ass adult because an internet meme told them to, but this shit is important! That’s like replacing your knife block with a large black box with an arm hole. Just reach in and hope you come back out with a knife and all your fingers intact.

Your home might be kid proof, but it aint dumb bitch proof. Anyway, she dead.

So we move on to our protagonist teen. Asha. She’s also the most believable part of this movie. She makes videos for youtube and has 9 subscribers. We all gotta start somewhere, and shit I’m still at….anyway.

She makes those videos you hate seeing the algorithm flood while tossing yours off into some forgotten ditch on youtube.

But fear not. This kid is being tortured by her parents. She’s being restricted on cellphone use. That’s right. She has a strict no cellphone period. Which still cracks me up thinking this is a thing that has to be. But alas it is, and this is…unfortunately a huge thing in the movie.

Not down time from your cellphone. But the EVILS of cellphones. We get scenes of everyone and their brothers, sisters, cousins, grandmas on their phones. Doing challenges, addicted to apps, News apps. It’s. Well it’s something. But a comical something.

We learn all this mind you, while Asha, her family, and her friend Emily’s family are all at their younger brothers….jazz, music, recital.

I mean not gonna lie dudes are layin it down, but. Still. Everyone is using their phones. Is it shocking? Is it over done to the point of parody? No. It’s like literally being in a movie theater nowadays. Which is also why I’ve been thankful since the pandemic for movies being premiered at home. At least then I can control my movie watching environment and if anyone rips a nasty ass fart, I know it’s what I ate.

The only point this movie really gets in over the top with this. Thankfully is on the comical side.

Both intentionally, and also. I want to truly believe, and do believe. The filmmakers are trying to treat the dangers behind cellphones as a true threat. Sort of like back in the day with answering random knocks at the door, assuming everyone is going to be a satanist looking to kill you, or worse. I mean there are legit threats out there don’t get me wrong. Even with cellphones admittedly yes. But most of those threats are scammers, identity theft, and being hacked. Those are far more serious and looked into, versus what this film is comically doing for our enjoyment. Which is having parents hold intense, anxiety fueled “Are our children safe?!” discussions about….internet challenges.

Its funny as hell, and its intentional. God I hope its intentional. It has to be.

Amir(Asha’s papa) looks like he’s about to burst a blood vessel at any mention of the internet, memes and challenges.

Like he’s the guy that would pay a for a wiki app that will grant him access to every file on Slenderman. And the more he reads, the more he sweats and panics before finally calling the family together for a meeting and talking to them about the dangers of Slenderman.

If the dude ever read Creepy pasta, he’d give himself a panic attack.

Well during the show the father of his daughters friend is, of course on his cellphone, and tells him about this thing he read about, off a news app. Everyone talks about the apps they got their news off of. And how this app talked about some new challenge going around about something called Grimcutty. A figure that appears in an image, and is supposed to make people do stuff. Like cut themselves, or others. Kill themselves, invest in poor stocks with zero return investment. Applying for credit cards with 35% interest rates and above. Taking 7 student loans when your family could cover the cost without them forever putting you in debt.

This immediately troubles Amir.

DEEPLY, troubles Amir.

In fact once they all get home that night. Amir is in the master bedroom with Leah(mama Chaudhry) and he is discussing with her. The dangers of Grimcutty.

Which again, you should consider this.

These two adults. Are having a conversation in bed. About the dangers of a meme, and people doing challenges associated with it, which are all violent or harmful in nature.

And their eyes, are livid with fear. To such a degree, that they announce, they must do further research. A LOT. More research. So they bust out the tablets and go to google.

Another internet challenge that was started to troll people? Specifically women? Was to go pad and tampon free during their period, trying to claim those were products made by the patriarchy and to show their stance as a feminist. They had to go without protection and, post proof. Yes a few hundred people did this.

And yet, this is also true by the way. Thousands of women did a tiktok trend. Where you show yourself grabbing an ice cube. And your facial reaction when you ‘supposedly’ touch the ice cube to your cooch. Yes they were all faked, and just an excuse to give an “Oh! Ooooh” face. But thousands of them did this. Because it was funny for them, and it gets you views.

Thousands of women. Were not going to go without period protection, and thousands of people. Thankfully. Were not so stupid as to hammer a nail through their thousand dollar phones.

But a meme that goes around and adults are saying makes them shit on their partners bed, cut off their finger tip with a bottle of alcohol, or dance naked in front of their pets while cutting off their nipples. Those…Okay the dancing naked thing sure. But the rest no. A thousand or more people would not do this.

And yes the caveat here is the meme ‘makes’ you do these things. Well that’s how creepy pasta works. The idea you are haunted and forced. So sure lets go with it. Because these parents are not just doing NCIS levels of research into the topic. They are having full on sit down chats with their kids.

Which I appreciate the kids part in it.

Their reaction is genuinely how most of these talks go. At least you would sincerely pray they do.

When told about this. The kids ask the smart question of, well how does it make you do things? And when they are told what some people have done while claiming the meme was responsible. They tell their parents you think we’re that stupid we’d do this shit?

Which is very valid and fair.

It’s ye old parental lesson from my ancient times and the times where our parents were younglings. “If your friends told you to jump off a bridge, would you?” Just now its with cellphones.

If you are reading this, and you are lets say, in your 20’s? Prepare for a shocker. In the time before cellphones? We did stupid dangerous shit. The news would then report on mass stupid dangerous shit we would do.

Some of the highlights from my time were, when kids were being dared. Or of their own. Would stick their thumbs in their mouths, blow as hard as they could while holding their breath as long as they could. Thing was you do this, you are going to pass out. But as kids, we heard rumors “Some kid did this? And DIED!” so of course we would watch some dumbass in the class do it, there was always someone. Another fun one was when, and I am not ashamed we did this. It was on the news. The fucking news. About the ‘concerning’ number of kids, who have been seen chewing on flower stems.

There was a particular yellow flower. I’m not making this up. And we discovered, through friends who found out from friends. If you break it off, and chew on the stem? It gave a kind of tart bit of juice. It wasn’t toxic or poisonous. It didn’t get you high. It was just something to do. I did it. My sister did it. Our friends did it. No one got hurt. No one died. But the fucking news. In California. Covered this. Because kids were carrying tons of these flowers doing this.

When my mom and father were in High School, there were stories about someone who got high cooking banana peel in an oven and smoking it, or shooting it up. The story always changes. And of course. Someone died.

The point is, and as this film is using it. These things have been going on forever, and we didn’t need the internet for it. But more so. We also had….and I still believe people HAVE. The common sense not to do dangerous stuff.

But yes, there is always one.

But this movie is just fun because of the idea, the internet is such a death’s playground type place, that you would get worked up, sweaty, and hold a Randy Marsh like intervention with your kids.

So of course all the kids are getting ‘the talk’, and they all treat it the same. We also get a montage of people online making videos and memes about it. Some kids are begging for the Grimcutty link, others are making memes about their parents freaking out over it, and somewhere someone is still making cute cat videos.

Well a movie has to start at some point to deliver the main horror. So Asha, is the lucky one for the big moment. She’s just being a teenage girl, living a teenage life. Making some teenage toast. Listening to asmr videos for inspiration, or who knows what. And she gets a sudden mysterious visit from Grimcutty.

This is the start of some epic comedy.

She screams her head off. Her parents freak out and call the cops. This girl. Describes to the cops what she saw. A living internet meme. The cops show her a photo of the ‘perpetrator’ she saw. She immediately confirms yes, this is the thing she saw, in their house. Staring at her.

The fact the cops are taking this, with that level of seriousness. Is both a testament that they really have nothing going on in that town. And that this is a level of comedy we’ve yet to experience this month since Pray for The Devil.

I actually want to see the police station, and have them show a Grimcutty murder board. I want to see other memes they are investigating.

But that’s not the best part. Oh no.

The best part. Comes the next morning.

After a semi restful night. The parents feel, that since their daughter has seen this meme in person, and the meme is dangerous online. They had to go out and purchase a lockbox. Purposely to hold all laptops, cellphones gaming shit.

They are trying hard to convince their kids. “Hey, you all have done super well with no cellphone family outtings. Why don’t we try. Not using any electronic outlet that connects to the internet for oh lets say. A month. And if you all are hip and down with it after a month and feel you could go longer? Then we go longer yeah? That sound uh, cool with you? My dogs?”

The daughter thankfully, ask her parents what the hell they were smoking since last night. That this is their solution.

Then the parents come back with something that hit a little to close to home , because fuck me of course this shit happens and is unholy cringy when it does.

Her parents inform Asha, that they worry about her, because teens who suffer depression are more likely to harm themselves, and when you become more withdrawn you are more likely to do harmful things.

When living on my parents property, after I needed help and moved out of a place I shared with my ex. Even living right next to them, I really didn’t spend much time with them, or going out. It was hard finding work and I really did look. A lot.  When the news broke about Robin Williams suicide? I got, the talk. From my parents. They worried about me because, I spend all my time, alone. I wasn’t working. I rarely went out, I spend all my time online. They were concerned that being alone, with drawn and distant, meant I spent all my time in that house, alone, in the dark. With nothing but the glow of my monitor keeping me company.

I get the concern I do. And I even appreciated it.

But I also had to explain to them, I enjoy staying home. I don’t go out unless I need to, and its usually a short trip when I do. But I don’t sit at my desk. Online. With no one to talk to, in the dark. I watch movies and shows. I write, I read stuff online, look up porn now and then. Game, and chat with friends and a special lady friend.

It’s parents being concerned parents. And I am glad for that. But it also did get annoying when after a while you’d hear the same thing, and same concern, and have to tell them both, repeatedly. That you are fine. You are not depressed, and even if you were, you aren’t sitting in the dark, alone, thinking when will it all end. Some people, do. I know. Sometimes parents will just worry, and you need to be honest with them, and repeat yourself.

But thankfully I am not like Asha. I don’t live and breath with my phone. I don’t need it with me all the time, and I don’t lose my mind when my phone has no internet. So naturally Asha is having super bad issues with her family. She doesn’t want to give up her phone or laptop. But much like every job where your employer tells you “Don’t worry this is just…optional.”, it’s never optional. Her parents start out with “Heeey lets try this” and jump straight to “give us your goddamn phone or we’ll pepper spray you and take it”

So they force the phone from her and slam it into the lockbox. Feeling safe and secure now, knowing they have taken all their kids media outlets away from them.

Honestly its funny because again, the way this is all being treated. By the parents especially? It’s like A Nightmare on Elm Street. When the kids are all pissed at their parents for going so extreme and trying to act like its perfectly rational.

I dig that, but again, it’s really handled a lot more with super tongue in cheek.

But it’s also, surprisingly interesting. It’s interesting that, we begin learning all the parents are doing this. They’ve all begun having this talk with their kids. They’ve all been locking up their cellphones and laptops. Like the President got on tv and said there’s a new pandemic lockdown we need to lock up all media outlet devices.

Of course Asha can’t abide by these rules. Nor does her brother. He has a laptop his parents forgot about.

I say forgot about, because no parent. Is going to not know, there kid has a laptop. And no kid that age. Is going to afford on their own, a huge laptop like her brother Kamran has. Unless his allowance is like $400 every two weeks. Which fuck me running if my parents gave me that for taking out the trash and mowing the yard, I’d be out there with a fucking smile calling them sir and ma’am every morning as a kid.

So the kids use the laptop. Only to discover, no one else is online. There’s nothing to be found about Grimcutty, all the boards created about it are non active, and for once no one is bitching on reddit. Naturally we need their internet freedom to end. So dad. Using his dad senses. Senses the internet is being used, much like every father knows when you mess with the thermostat. He senses this and unplugs the modem. With fucking authority. Like if I did that to my modem? I would fucking apologize to it, an object. Or I’d spit on it and calling fucking trash.

Different strokes for different folks.

Well, Asha shall not be denied her time to watch tiktok before bed, or see whats trending today over on Redgif’s. So she does the most logical and sneaky thing a teenager could do in her situation. She pulls out a kitchen knife and pries open the detox box the parents put the electronics in.

If a knife. Can pry open a combination briefcase lock. Maybe shop somewhere other than Big Lots.  Just sayin.

So she retrieves her phone, and to her shock and horror. None of her friends sent a text in the past hour to say anything to her. Welcome to my life kiddo.

However she does receive one weird message out of the blue. From a blonde girl at their school who recently commented on a video she uploaded. But Asha was told this girl is ‘evil’ and not someone you want to be on the bad side of. But here she is, sending a message to Asha. Suddenly her phone is vibrating and ringing and oh boy its blonde girl. She’s calling her because. No one else is out there to talk to her. Been there as well.

The story begins to develop a bit more as these two unlikely to ever be friends anywhere teens, begin to ponder why the internet is so quiet. Why no friends are on, why their parents are overreacting, and passing along stories from the few friends who are around, about other friends who have friends who ran into Grimcutty and now are ‘gone’.

It’s a rushed conversation. Which is played comically well. The entire time Asha is having this forbidden technology conversation? Her parents are hunting for her. Why? Because dad heard, or senses tampering with the detox box. Of course when he opens it and finds one cellphone missing. He could just call out to his daughter, ask where she is, and why she took the phone out. Put it back in.

No. No that would be what sanity would expect of him. Instead he and his wife. Begin fucking hunting down their daughter. Going room by room. Flipping lights on, looking more and more pissed off, and concerned. Asha is doing her best Solid Snake cosplay as she sneaks through the high alert house to chat with her new blonde friend. Eventually the parents meet up outside the front of the house, and they are not just mad. They are livid. Their daughter is nowhere to be found and worst of all, SHE IS ON HER GODDAMN FORSAKEN CELLPHONE!!

Her dad is seriously at Randy Marsh levels of intense. This guy wants to punch a hole in a wall.

But providence is on his side, as Grimcutty appears once more to Asha, sending the girl running through the house and into a bathroom. But Grim reaches in and grabs hold of her arm. Grim also appears to have a knife of his own. Much like, well. Like Asha still has a knife of her own. You can see where this is going.

Asha tries pulling away from Grim, only for grim to lightly. And I do mean. Lightly cut her arm. Asha screams and stabs the fuck out of Grim with the kitchen knife. So Grim vanishes and she shuts the door. Only to hear intense banging against it, because now Dad is on the other side kicking it open and rushing inside. Proving he should have breached and cleared first. Asha is in a panic waving the knife around at anything and everything to defend herself, She doesn’t hurt her dad though, or mom. Surprisingly.

HOWEVER!!!

Since she stabbed Grimcutty. There is of course blood on the blade. And she has a skin cut on her arm. So you can see of course where her family is going to take this. And they do. Oh boy howdy do they.

She tries to ensure her folks that she did not cut herself because Grimcutty told her to. She didn’t sneak her phone out just to do an internet challenge on tiktok, or look at abnormally large scrotum gifs on Redgif. She just checked in with her friends, and when they kicked in the door she got freaked, accidentally cut her arm, which sounds a lot better versus a killer internet meme cut you. Even her mom admits she wont need stitches, and the bandaging she does to her arm is, comical.

Now, you may ask. Why did I say she had a skin cut on her arm? Because that’s what it is.

I hate that I can say this from first and second hand experience but here we go.

If you take a brand new knife. Like professional grade chef’s knife. And you ask yourself. How sharp IS this really? So you lightly brush your fingertip over it, or god forbid, you lightly let the blade rest on your arm and move it a tiny bit? You’ll cut the surface of your skin. Every time. When you do? It’ll look like translucent material cut open, and eventually it will bleed. A little. You wipe it, put Neosporin on it, and if need be bandage it. But its not needed. It’ll be fine.

Yes I did this with my fingertip and immediately regretted it.

I also, while learning to cook had the pleasure of watching a navy cook with their new knifes literally say “I wonder how sharp this really is”, and again. I shit you not. He just tapped the blade to his palm.  Like held the knife in one hand, and whapped the blade against his palm. This man is in the Navy. He serves on a nuclear sub.

Doing what he did, split his palm wide open. He poured blood on the floor, and was taken to the hospital for stitches.

I also know what burnt human flesh smells like, and they are right. You never forget that distinct smell.

My point here is, what happened to Asha? Is the equivalent of a lengthy papercut. Being treated like she had her arm split open. Her mom didn’t put Neosporin on it, she put several little binding bandaids. Meant to hug the skin together, like little bandage stitches.

Asha is trying to convince her family to let her go to school. But her dad is heavily against this. Why? Don’t know. Maybe the school has internet access still? Maybe other kids will have net access? GASP….maybe they will discover 5g wireless?

Her dad is overreacting hard, and mom is at least on the belief that, their daughter going to school might help get her mind off things and not you know. Force her to sit in her room feeling like a prisoner hating them.

Well she goes to school, and maybe death was the better option.

The school is pretty damn void of kids. Whoever IS there, is meeting in the gym for a teacher talk. About Grimcutty. And being cool with not using cellphones or the internet. Yes. The school has turned off internet access, cellphones are home with the parents. The kids are disconnected from social media and all media outlets.

This is, insanity. But still fun. I mean shit they even got a motivational speaker to come and talk to the kids. How you make a speech about internet memes and not hurting yourself because of internet challenges. I thankfully will never know. But anyone who has had to hear that? You have my sympathy.

Thankfully for Asha, and us. We are getting out of this hellscape. Blondie pulls Asha into the bathroom and the two talk. No one has heard from their friends or seen them. But who cares, it’s high school and most your friends are flakes then. What we DO care about. Is the film explaining to us that the parents are stupid by script. But by something else.

Apparently all the parents gave their kids the same speech. To the letter. They all somehow came into possession of detox boxes for the laptops and cellphones.

Now this could be interesting. The idea that a malevolent being, like a modern urban myth or fairy tale creature. Would/could setup some kind of trick, a spell bound site that instantly brainwashes parents into expecting the extreme from their kids. Going into hyper drive anxiety over their kids safety. It’s a cool idea honestly. A monster using something everyone has access to and wouldn’t give a second thought too, as a gateway to control them and make it easier to get to their kids.

Except for the fact that isn’t happening.

At all.

The moment this film starts to seem like its setting up something interesting. It immediately tares that notion and idea to shreds.

Asha and blondie head over to the one place likely to have internet. A kids house who’s parents are always gone and leave them in control of the house all on his own. So of course he is hosting a Grimcutty party. And all the school kids are there. Because well why not. When they are given the option to either stay home or go to school. Of course they’ll stay home, tell their parents they’re going to school and then party instead.

I hate this. Because it’s not made for me. This is a horror film made for the new generation, and its cringing my insides. I have witnessed horror like this before. And it is, not good. At all.

We have teens who talk about their parents and the act of taking away their cellphones and laptop access as being, fascist. No one understands them and they act out over the top. Because they don’t listen to their children, and as parents, they must act over the top because the news feeds them stories to make them worry.

The girls use the internet so they can look up information about the Detox Boxes. Assuming if they use the keyword, it will lead them to information about Grimcutty. What they discover is the worst thing imaginable. It’s not a website run by the Grimcutty. It’s a mommy blogger. Who wrote click bait articles to raise fear in parents. Literally click bait. In fact it’s the clickbait shit we saw in the beginning. The woman stabbed by her kid, is the mommy blogger. She is the one who wrote the articles causing a panic. Because parents are fucking dumb shits in this town. So yes. Mommy blogger writes articles telling parents the evils of cellphones, how to detox their kids from using them and get your family back together. She also for some reason. Can’t be found online. Not her address, her registered voting information. Nothing.

So whatever is Asha to do with this? She calls up her brother on skype. And tells him “I need you to look up this bitch, can you do it?”

Without hesitation the dude actually says to her “Well, there are ways…I’ll see what I can do”

So Asha, used Google to find this womans blog, and find her name. But for anything deeper, past google. She needs her younger brothers dark web know how?

What the actual fuck?

Like is he her guy on the computer? He just has access to the deep web at all time, apps to track down and dox people?

Okay sure, why not.

Fuck it.

So little bro hacks into the mainframe, puts on his Neo sunglasses and he opens google maps. Finds the womans house and sends it to his sister. So simple a caveman could do it.

Of course doing this brings Grimcutty to her brother. He appears and. Apparently puts her brother in a coma.

Meanwhile her parents are freaking out. Not in the “oh my god what’s going on” way. But in the, dad and his dad senses picks up that his daughter isn’t at school. So he goes to school and when his daughter is not there? He gets violently mad. Like he will go full on The Batman shooting himself up with adrenaline and pummel his daughters face into a pile of bloody mashed potatoes.

Seriously this would make so much more sense if the parents were being mind controlled.

So as their daughter is at a party house. We get something even more groan worthy. Remember. The kid who’s parents are out of town is throwing a bash. Which means alcohol for teenagers, and an online playlist. It’s also, by no coincidence. A Grimcutty themed party. So they have a projection machine pushing out a 480p image of Grimcutty on the front of the house. A kid with a selfie stick on his phone tells everyone to grab their fake knives and act like they’re all cutting themselves for a silly video to post for their Grimcutty party.

So let’s get ready for our lobotomy.

Dad can’t find Asha, this makes him unreasonably angry. Mom heads home, Asha isn’t there. This increases their anger and frustration jointly. So where is Asha? How will they ever find her? Why didn’t she come home?!

Because, Asha is at the party house. Which means from, let’s be conservative here and say 1pm. Let’s say her and her blonde friend arrived at party house around 1pm. It is now 9pm. She hasn’t left Party House. She has been there all day. With no contact to her parents.

When you ditch school? EVEN if one parent goes to check on you. You ALWAYS. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS. Head home about the same time you would if you walked home, or got a ride.

You don’t stay out past dinner, without any fucking contact. You dumb bitch.

You can cover your ass, it works trust me.

You ditch school, you come home about the same time as usual. Parents none the wiser.

If a parent went to school and you weren’t there? And the school gave students the option to go or stay? So when that parent gets home and confronts you about not being at school? Easy. You tell them “Yeah they gave us the option to stay or go, and I felt uneasy so I decided to come home” or even try the “Yeah I stayed but they weren’t holding class. They just had us listen to some guy talking to us about the internet, so I came home.”

ANY OF THOSE WORK

Versus staying all fucking afternoon and into the evening at a party house.

So for the first time in this movie. Her parents have an actual reason to be worried and upset. But where oh where is Asha as they don’t know.

Thankfully the news and their fear mongering have you covered. Not only that, but so do other adults texting and browsing the internet. Her parents get a fucking text with a goddamn video. The cellphone tiktok of the kids all laughing at the party, pretending to cut themselves with obviously fake knives, ALL OF THEM LAUGHING AND HAVING FUN. And Asha is in the background with the familiar look of “Fuck where is the bathroom there are so many people here and I’m gonna piss my pants”

Do her parents look at this and wonder, where is this house? Why is our daughter there?

Yes actually.

But before that. The mom visibly gasp, covering her mouth even. The bitch. Covers. Her fucking mouth. In shock. SHOCK. Because these kids are at a party, having fun, laughing while pretending to stab and cut themselves. Mocking the hysteria. Her father? Randy Marsh? Is so pissed he is going to punch his daughter so hard that Great Grandma is going to jump in her grave from the force of that punch.

Seriously. These fuckers are acting like they just watched a beheading video or One man one jar.

It makes no goddamn sense.

SOMEHOW. Her parents know what house that is, and they are driving like their daughter is a ticking time bomb. Overdue for a severe beating.

As her family race to party house. Asha waves her blonde friend goodbye, Little bro skypes and warns her mom and dad are coming. She see’s Grimcutty, and Grim uses a knife to cut her leg. She runs screaming through the house, trailing blood. Mom and dad arrive and they disconnect the internet so Pandora stops playing music. Everyone is bummed. They run upstairs hearing their daughter, and we get what would be an interesting moment, in any other film but this one.

Asha is struggling against Grimcutty. But her parents only see their daughter, with a knife in her hand, and a new cut on her arm. It really does look like she cut herself.

So off they go. Not to the hospital mind you. But home.

Where they find little bro in his little coma on the little floor.

Both siblings are in the hospital now. Dad is no longer a person. He is the living embodiment of rage, and blames their daughter for what happened to little bro.

No seriously. When they get home, and they find him unconscious on the floor? The day LITERALLY tells Asha “This is your fault! What did you do to him!”

It makes. No goddamn sense!

How did these people make it to the hospital for their kids births without causing a massive crash on the freeway or being sedated themselves because of their panic modes?

I want to explain and go over more, but this movie. This is turning into a bad mushroom trip. Like it was all giggles before. But now it’s just bullshit crawling out of the winking sphincter that is this movie.

What’s even funnier about this. Is mom and Asha.

Mom is alone with Asha in the hospital. She is calm with her daughter. She tells her that lil bro will be okay. But the doctors don’t know why he’s in a coma. And that she will be okay too. She calmly tells her daughter she made an appointment for her to talk to a therapist this afternoon. Because she’s worried for her.

Asha tries a sane logical approach. She tells her mom, in all the years you’ve known me, and we’ve bonded and talked. Have I ever hurt myself once? Or tried to willingly do so? She’s trying to reason with her mom that this, all of this. Is not characteristic of her behavior. That if its happening. It obviously must be because of a killer internet meme.

But mom isn’t buying it. Because her daughter is just mental. She got kicked off of track, and ever since then she’s become withdrawn and a shut in. She’s depressed and has been found twice now having cut herself. So she needs mental help.

Mom snaps at her saying this, but then. Immediately after. Tells her she’ll be right back, get a doctor to redress her daughters wounds and everything will be fine. Because this is all normal behavior.

But the real fun bit in this. The kicker. Is Asha sees mom left her laptop in the room with them.

The same part of the parental team that are actively doing everything they can. To keep their children free of the internet. Just casually bring the same device they deny their kids, to use and rub in their faces.

So obviously she uses it, she sees the house address her brother found, and leaves the hospital to go find mommy blogger.

Later on mom returns. Finds daughter gone, sees the address and decides to play mommy detective and go there as well. Because what else is she going to do. Stay and worry about her son?

So Asha finds the house. Knocks on the door. Mommy Blogger is now this months only nominee, and coincidentally winner, of worst actor.

This woman is as subtle as a wet fart in a library.

She is forcing a smile, eyes bulging, and pretends to have no idea what this girl is talking about when she ask about her articles, her blog, and the detox boxes. And especially about Grimcutty.

Any time this woman speaks she’s doing her best to act like LA NOIRE npc’s. She tells Asha everything is fine. While giving her a smile that says someone is pointing a gun at me behind this door. When Asha ask about Grimcutty. She shakes her head claiming she knows nothing, while her eyes are bulging internally screaming and spasming. Seriously her face is spasming like you do when you standing while someone talks to you, and your stomach starts churning and pushing on you letting you know, you gotta shit. It’s gonna be a bad one, and if you try to hold this off? Your gonna need to flex that asshole with all the muscles in your ass, thighs and face to stop it from progressing, And each wave that hits you while you try to stop it. Its gonna feel like someone punched your gut.

Asha believes, this woman might be hiding the truth. No shit Sherlock.

But the women rushes her off her property, smiling, all is well now leave me alone.

Asha is not going to do that. Instead. She’s going to exercise her right to break in to this womans house.

So she does!

She sneaks in the backdoor of this womans home. Begins looking around and finds her sons room, complete with chain locks. She unlocks it and goes inside. Finding the room empty. But then she finds the closet. Which has multiple sliding locks on it. She opens the closet, and finds mommy blogger spends a lot of her mommy time watching DIY project videos. Because she turned her sons closet into an actual padded room.

Where she keeps her son. In a padded closet. With no ventilation.

He is covered in bandages from cutting himself, and he begs Asha. Begs her. To put him back in the closet.

To put him back inside, or else his mom will worry about him, and throw him back inside.

But Asha says fuck that, I’m gonna rescue you.

Thankfully Mommy Blogger is a gun owner. She’s rockin a shotgun and has it aimed at Asha.

Get ready for another lobotomy.

Mommy Blogger can’t shoot Asha. Because Asha’s mom just pulled up outside.

So the following happens, and. Its believable, without question.

Mom approaches the door and knocks. Mommy blogger smiles MUCH more believably at her, and says oh you must be here for Asha. Come on in.

She explains quickly to mom “I’m so sorry, your daughter broke into my house, so I locked her in one of my rooms until you got here, so if you think you can handle her I’ll let her out and you can take her back home okay? I won’t press any charges. She’s acting a bit crazy saying crazy things, so don’t mind her”

All the while, as she is saying this? Explaining the situation to Asha’s mom? You hear Asha screaming from a locked room “MOM RUN! DON’T TRUST HER! MOM SHE HAS A GUN!!!! SHE LOCKED HER SON UP AND ME! MOM IT’S A TRAP!”

Mom is apologizing and smiling, excusing her daughters erratic behavior. She tells mommy blogger what a fan she is of the web blog and her daughter is freed. Immediately running to the safety of her moms arms. Telling her this bitch is crazy. She aimed a gun at her, she has her kid locked up in a room. She’s crazy.

So mom reacts by slapping her daughter hard enough that Asha forgets who she is for several seconds. She then realizes what she did. And apologizes.

To mommy blogger. For having to see her do that, to her own daughter. Mommy blogger doesn’t give a shit, she just wants these bitches gone and to lock her son back up to protect him. So mom storms off with Asha and goes back to the car.

Now. Before you ask, what the fuck? Just wait. There’s more.

Mom and Asha are in the car, mom is losing her patience with her daughter and Asha is still trying to tell her about what happened, so mom flips out, how her daughter is never happy. Even though, and get ready for this parental rap “Even when we feed you, and cloth you, we buy you the newest thing, we pay for your school, we keep a roof over your head” she is giving her daughter that brow beating, of all things and all times to give that specific one. This apparently was the right moment. Eventually mom gets so worked up, she slams her first through her driver side window, shattering it. She has….a tiny scrape. A very small scrap on her hand. After just losing her shit, and going off like she did? After all that?

She gives her daughter her cellphone, tells her “I am going to get some bandages from that woman, you stay here okay baby?” and walks off.

This bitch, went from calm, to slapping the spit out of Asha’s mouth, to yelling at her and smashing her own car window. To now being calm, handing her daughter a cellphone, the very thing she is doing her best to keep from her kids. And walks off to the house.

And remember

No one. Not one. Fucking. Person. Is possessed or under a spell. This is how adults act in this world.

And its normal for them.

So mom goes to ask mommy blogger for some bandage. She doesn’t want to help her. Mom is now finally suspicious of this woman. So she pushes past her into the house. Grimcutty pops up in the house, visiting Blogger moms kid. Since he’s free from his closet cell. And begins choking the boy. So he screams.

Both moms hear this, and Asha’s mom runs off to see what the noise is all about. Because now she is willing to believe her daughter about a locked up boy. But not when her daughter was telling her this woman had a gun, locked her kid up and this is a trap.

The only thing of interest that happens. Is Asha’s mom sees the boy. Floating midair. Struggling against an unseen form holding him up. So now she believes her daughter.

Blogger mom has her shotgun again and begins to explain how SHE was protecting her son. By locking him up. And how SHE spread the image of Grimfandago or whatever the fuck his name is. Grimcutty. And how she had it all contained, by locking her son up so he wont try to cut himself, and not blogging about Grimdickcheese.

Is she going to shoot Asha’s mom? No. Because Asha comes upstairs and calls out to her mom. So Blogger mom points the gun at Asha. Asha’s mom bulldogs blogger mom, takes her daughter by the hand and runs to leave the house of crazy bitch.

BUT

The moment blogger mom says “wait!”

The two stop.

The two stop. Because the woman who just pointed a shotgun at the both of them, who trespassed on her property. Was going to shoot them. Told them to, stop and wait.

She just needed a moment to stand up, and point her shotgun at them again.

Finally. The audience. Maybe even just my own mind. Possessed her son in the film. Because he’s coming up behind his mom, and he stabs her in the back of the thigh, with a long bolt from his door.

This bolt is blunt, not pointed. And this little kid. Was able to puncture through moms denim jeans, and bury 3 inches of steel into his moms thigh.

Mommy blogger turns, tumbles down the stairs, and is now dead. So mom. In her infinite wisdom. Shouts at her daughter “Get the car”

What I think she meant, was Get in the car. But she actually said the words. Get the car. Anyway…

Mom and Asha return to the hospital. With the boy. The boy is being treated, mom tells her daughter “You did great” and leaves her alone. Asha smiles, having been believed now, and complimented by her mom. So she had a character arch. I guess.

Meanwhile. Dad, who looks possessed beyond any of the possession films we’ve ever seen. Not just this month, but my entire video cassette, dvd, HD-DVD, Bluray 4k, streaming life. Have ever seen.

This is not an exaggeration. For once.

But again. These people. Are not possessed. At all. Grimcutty gets his power. Through driving the parents to be paranoid and fearful.

So dad. Who is with his son. The only one staying with their kid. Sees the laptop, and decides to take a look at it. See. The laptop wasn’t their moms. It was their sons secret laptop. So, dad decides to take a look at the laptop.

It’s been a minute since we laughed watching this movie. It knows this. So it’s giving us something to laugh at.

Their father. Amir Chaudhry. Randy Marsh. Has progressed from simply being the embodiment of hate. To becoming the personification, the prophet of pissed.

His son, wakes up from his coma. This is a joyful moment. But dads eyes are whirlpools of anger and punishment. As he lays into his son. For giving out his phone number to someone on the dark web. Looking up, and yes I wrote it down:

Tennis ball bomb

Bat sex

Church of satan

Necrophilia

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris – The columbine school shooters

And Grimcutty.

His son looked up these things, and now. It is time to atone for his sins. He growls out at his son to get dressed, he’s taking him somewhere safe. The only safe place they have left.

But just wait. Oh lord. Just. Wait.

Before they can leave the room, to wherever safety is. They run into mom. Mom is amazed her son is awake and moving. She hugs him and is thankful. Dad is now concerned and ask where their daughter is. She tells him that Asha is out in the hall. Then. As she checks on her husband. He can’t help but notice. That his wife, a doctor, has a syringe in her hand. So he ask her what that is.

She tells him it’s a shot. For him. To calm him down.

This, upsets daddy. Very much.

He starts to get angrily aggressive with mom. Why does he need to be calm? He’s just dealing with what is best for their kids! But before he can attack her, or argue with her, or anything. The cops show up. They have questions for mom. This is a very real scene in an otherwise fantasy film made by someone with parental issues. Mom goes off with the police, leaves the syringe in her husbands hands and tells him to, just take the shot please, and it will calm him.

Well something dramatic needs to happen since this is the end. So little brother ran off during all of this. Dad is acting like Jack Torrence in the shinning and chasing him through a somehow surprisingly empty Hospital. Little bro finds Asha and she informs him. She knows how to solve all of this. Because the script told her. Not because she fucking discovered it. She never discovered a fucking thing. But here we go.

She tells little brother, that…when the boy who stabbed his mother, attacked her again? It was to get her to stop protecting him. It took away the power Grimcutty had. So….him stabbing his mother the first time, didn’t achieve this. But him stabbing her with a blunt bolt. Tossing her down a flight of stairs and killing her, did. Enough so that Asha solved this and knows what to do. Her plan? To stab her dad with a pair of scissors.

Fuck it why not.

Of course Asha and dad run into one another. They have what is supposed to be a tense conversation. Where she hides a pair of scissors behind her back from her dad. And dad hides a syringe behind his back. Which still has the safety cap on.

How he plans to sedate her without the extra motions of holding her, removing the cap, and sticking her. No one knows or cares. Because it doesn’t matter.

She stabs dad in the gut, and runs out of the hospital. Where her dad stumbles, bleeding following her. He looks still intent on sedating her. But Asha is now, declaring herself the victor. To the point she smiles, closes her eyes and rest her head back. Arms wide open.

Grimcutty zooms up to her, lifts her up, and dad gets to see the exact same shit we saw with blogger moms kid. Asha is floating midair. Being strangled, about to be stabbed by Grimcutty. Dad finally understands that he needs to calm his tits. While seeing his daughter floating in mid air. Which makes sense. So he stabs himself with the syringe, and Grimcutty is defeated.

If your brain is beginning to turn to primordial sludge? Just wait. The movie wants to keep going.

So we close out, with an ASMR video from Asha. Which I will post word for word her ending speech for you all to enjoy. Because it is so fucking bad. It is so fucking….someone got paid for this. And someone thought it was good…enjoy:

“Hey, everyone. Gonna do something a little bit different today. A lot of people have been
asking me about grimcutty, I guess because of what happened to me and my parents. So, I'm gonna try to answer a few of those questions now.
First question:
Did you kill your dad? No, I didn't kill my dad. He's not dead. He's fine. We're all fine. I mean, yeah,
it's pretty messed up what we went through as a family. But for everyone out there who had to deal with grimcutty, I think you get it. Which is most of you.
Next question:
What if the grimcutty comes back? Well, it could happen, I guess. We still don't know where it came from, but if some crazy, controlling parent like Melinda jaynes got wind of it for the first time, yeah, it could flare up all over again. But we'll be better prepared to deal with it the next time around. It's okay to talk to me.
Last question:
My parents still worry about grimcutty. Do you have any advice? I would say if you want your parents to listen, you're gonna have to listen, too. And you have to be honest. Otherwise, how are they gonna know? And if you're a parent, I would say, it's okay to not understand everything that's going on with us.
It doesn't mean you screwed up somewhere. It just means you're human. And being human is scary sometimes. You might be afraid of what's gonna happen next. That's okay. You're doing really well. Just give some of my techniques a try. And most importantly, don't forget to breathe.”

The End

Okay lets rip open this fucking thing.

This movie was a mistake. Both on my part, my wish for entertainment, and a mistake being made and put out by Hulu.

Whoever thought it was a good idea. Likely did not envision this film the way it turned out.

The writers of this film. Why? Just. Why. And never again. Please. Never. Again.

This reminded me of an American Dad joke. Where a frat house put on a dirty movie, and after a few seconds someone says “Wait, is this a gay porn?” and after that, someone follows it up with “Lets just keep watching it to make sure”

I thought this was meant as a tongue in cheek comedy horror. A satire on the evils of the web and parents. It wasn’t. This was Millennial horror. No I’m not joking. There are two other films I have seen. Both of which I still regret having given play time too. They were all made for and by, a certain group of Millennials. The lack of blood, of actual horror. Showing safety by having fake knives, never showing an actual stabbing or cutting. Dialog. The portrayal of parents and figures of authority. All of it. It’s not for the general public. This is a film that decided, the scariest thing, is a parent who thinks they screwed up, and need to fix you, when they don’t understand you. And when you won’t listen to them, you only further their resolve to fix you for your own good.

To such a degree as to even put it in the fucking closing monologue. Because that’s the positive message the writer wants you to take. And parents. The..wait

*turns my metal folding chair around, turns my baseball had backward and sits backward on the chair*

The message, that, kids need to be open to listening to their parents, but hey. Parents need to also. Be open to listening to their kids. We’re all just fish swimming in the same bowl, it’s okay to be scared and afraid. But don’t worry. You are doing well, and you just need to relax, respect each other, and listen.

Fuck

Just…fuck.

So lets try. TRY. To put into sane words, the shit that was this film.

The conclusions characters come to, aren’t earned. They aren’t clever. They aren’t ‘ah ha’ moments. Things happen, and a character makes a leap, a huge leap to the correct conclusion. Without any visible connective tissue to back it up.

Peoples behavior.

The parents in this film. All instantly. Like a plague. A brainwashing plague. Decide over night. Because of one mother’s blogs about the dangers of the internet, and one mention. One. Of Grimcutty making people hurt themselves. Was enough to send the entire town over night. Into a full fledged panic.

There was no epidemic of lead ups to this. Out side of the son stabbing his mom in the beginning? Nothing else was ever mentioned, or brought up. It happened, she made it out okay, and no one checked on them. Week later, the town is so taken by these articles. That they visit Detox Box online and use code ‘Grimcutty’ for 15% off their purchase of a Detox Box. Which arrives overnight without additional shipping cost.

Every parent is so afraid for their kids. For no explainable reason. That they all buy into this. They all immediately take their cellphones, computers, and internet away. And act like this is sane, rational, and the only way to keep their kids safe. From an internet challenge. Which isn’t a challenge.

We are told that the more fearful people are and worry about their children. The more powerful Grimcutty becomes. Which is why he is able to manifest and attack. There is never, in the film a moment that demonstrates this. Past we are told this, and go along with it. There is no moment that suddenly shows this to be true.

Again, all the boy had to do. Was stab his mother in the leg. She falls down a stairway, knocking her out. Because no one died. This is a safe film. She lived at the end.

So her being stabbed and knocked out, took away Grimcutty’s power, and the boy was now safe. We are told this. By Asha. Because that is what she said. Did she notice this? Did she see or hear Grimcutty scream in agony? Did something happen in that moment to indicate Grimcutty was made weak? No.

Kid stabbed his mom, she tumbled down the stairs. They go to the hospital, and proclaim ‘we know how to stop it, sedate yourself’

Two things with that.

Firstly. Why didn’t this work when the son first stabbed his mother in the gut with a knife? Is it because she wasn’t calm enough after being stabbed? Did she need to pass out to wake up and be like “You know what? I overreacted a little bit”? Because it didn’t solve things the first stabbing, but it somehow did the second time?

Secondly. The parents behavior. I can not stop stressing this enough. Because it makes no sense. The way every parent acts. Especially Asha’s dad. Would absolutely make sense, if there was some kind of evil influence at play here.

Lets play devils advocate, okay? If Mommy Blogger was made to make the post by Grimcutty, to spread his evil. To introduce his influence to all the parents, and for them to share the article in their parental circle. All of them becoming infected by fear from him. His spell over the article. Gathering power through corrupting them. Giving him the in that he needed to begin infecting other kids through their cellphones and internet. Turning the parents against their children. Who are now scared and confused because the figures they look to for protection and love have all turned fearful and aggressive toward them to the point of locking them up, trying to control them. THAT would make sense.

That would explain his power, and reach. How he got them all to do his bidding. Do what he wanted and make their kids easy open pray for him to feed on and kill.

But even then. We have another issue. A major one. Even with playing Devils Advocate and setting something like that up, which would make sense, and give a sense of Grim’s powers. We have a huge problem.

The script writers have no idea how their monster fucking works, or what the internet is really like.

Settle in this is gonna take a while.

Again. Grimcutty is introduced to us through a blog post made under the title of 5 internet challenges your kid already knows.

An internet challenge is, a challenge. Hey I’m going to put a tide pod in my mouth for 10 seconds then spit it out. Can YOU do it? Hey I’m gonna pour a bucket of ice water over myself to support a charity, can YOU do the same? Okay I’m going to attempt an online dance and outfit change. Can YOU do that?

In the film. They tell you the following. You receive a link, with Grimcutty, and when you do, he makes you do stuff, to hurt yourself, or others.

That is what they say. Specifically. That is not an internet challenge. When the movie The Ring came out. Someone took the cursed tape scene and made it a video online. Daring people to watch it start to finish, to see if you could do it or were to scared. In Butterfly Kisses, the urban myth was to hold your eyes open staring down a train tunnel at midnight or so, and not blink. If you do that, you’ll see a man in a top hat in the tunnel. So the challenge is to see if you can do it.

The way Grimcutty is described by the kids? It’s a rickroll, a creepy flash image. One of those things were it looks like an innocent link. You click to open it, and you see a sudden image of Grimcutty. Making you visited by them. Marking you.

This again is setup in the film as how it works.

Not one single kid. Not one. Received a link. The film even seemed setup that Asha might get one. When she was making a sandwich and watching an ASMR video on her cellphone? That seemed like a moment they would have planned to interject an image of Grimcutty on her phone in the video. Marking her as someone he will come for.

Instead she makes the toast, and looks out the sliding glass door, spotting him outside staring at her.

So the  thing doesn’t need the internet at all to infect people.

Secondly? How does convincing the parents with a blog. To get rid of their electronics and internet work then? I mean if he was an internet thing. Then okay. Removing the electronics and net makes sense. But him moving and working without cellphones or the net. What was the purpose of removing these things? It would make sense of Grimcutty could be harmed by them having these items. Like say, if people online discovered what Asha had. How to destroy or weaken him. So they post and share that info online, same as she did. It would make sense then that Grimcutty would want those devices and internet gone. Because with those, he’d be weak, right?

But again no. It is explicitly said he is an internet challenge, passed through an anonymous link, dooming whoever opens it. And they call it a challenge.

How the fuck, does an internet demon work. If you take away the internet? It doesn’t!

So logic would dictate, that. The mom who ran the blog. Her son came across grim through the internet and it infected him. So she wrote the article as a warning. Trying to tell everyone to get rid of the internet and they wont find out about it. It’d keep them safe from Grimcutty in her mind. However she was mistaken. Once Grim found his way through the internet and manifested through her fear. He could work and function in our world. So he didn’t need the internet. Making the whole thing a red herring. Which would be semi clever and make sense. But again. The movie did not do this. It never mentioned that as even a possibility. That she wrote it assuming it would save others.

No one was being influenced by Grimcutty

The internet never passed him on to the kids.

So what about among the adults? Did them sharing the story spread him out to each of their kids because they opened the article and saw his image? That’d also be something. That would be mildly interesting. It would make sense. The parents unknowingly let an evil into their lives to get their kids. Feeding off their fear from the article. Which was purposely useless. But again. The movie didn’t do this. It never even insinuates this as a possibility.

But it would make sense? Everything I just listed would make sense. But the film doesn’t do it. It doesn’t use any of these angles.

It’s the same with Asha and her discovering how to defeat it. Her dad being told to calm himself. His daughter stabs him and Grim is still alive. It isn’t until dad saw his daughter in the air, that he suddenly had the thought, you know? I guess I should listen to my wife. So he does and that ends it? How? How did he suddenly get this in his head? Was it because being stabbed weakened the fear he had? Again his realization just like the mommy blogger that maybe he overreacted?

It's not translated on screen at all if that were the case. He just simply dictates. This is the thing to do. And it works.

And again. How?

Every single thing that happens in this film. Happened because it was in the script. They never explain it. We’re never shown. They just assume it worked, and call it good. There was no scenes cut from this. There was nothing unfilmed that would’ve explained it. This was just, bad writing. Bad filmmaking and worse acting.

They bring out more questions than they do answers.

If the net is how Grim spreads, why did he still kill and harm kids without them getting a link that invites him into their lives? How does stabbing someone make them realize they were overreacting? I mean okay I kinda can see that. But that’s a joke. But seriously it didn’t work the first time. So why did it the second? Did passing out solve it and not the stabbing? If Mommy blogger thought she contained the problem and her child was safe, why didn’t Grim go away?

There’s a lot of little tiny morsels of possibility and tissue that desperately could connect and make a competent story. But they didn’t insert anything for it to connect to.

Because it still wouldn’t make sense.

Lets say, for the sake of argument. Mommy Blogger succeeded. That removing the internet, laptops and cellphones worked. Grim stopped tormenting him obviously. He was doing fine in his cell until Asha freed him. That’s what we were shown. So okay, her son got infected, and she managed to stop it. Okay. So how did everyone else get infected then without having received the Grim link? And if they got rid of the internet, Did the kids using the internet secretly give Grim access? It would make sense. But no one received a link. So how did Asha get infected? She didn’t know anyone who saw Grim. Her friends didn’t see him. He just appeared outside her home. So how? Was the internet a way he could travel? Okay lets go with that. So any time any one used their phones, or laptop. It allowed him into their home. Okay. Asha was using her phone to watch a video when he came to her home. Her brother looked up the bloggers home online, and Grim appeared in his laptops reflection. So if he uses the internet to get into peoples home. Why the setup that you have to receive a link with him to become infected? Why the internet challenge?

It doesn’t add up or make sense. The only thing you can do, because your brain works this way. Is problem solve it yourself.

So you make those fixes. You make those assumptions to make this all make sense. The challenge was bullshit and a red herring. It needed the internet to get to its victims, So not using the net kept it from you. Parents fear and obsession with safety made them blind to their kids pleas for help and seeking logic that wouldn’t come. Knocking out your parents, waking them up to what they were doing, and what they were feeding. That stops this monster and saves their kids lives. The parents just had to learn to listen to their kids and not let fear turn them into unreasonable scared animals.

You could logic that out, make that make sense in your mind, and apply it to the film.

But that isn’t what we got. They did not make a think piece. Films are not made, so that you have to make sense in your mind what the real story was and how the ending worked. That’s interpretation. It’s subjective, and if a filmmaker needs you to make their film make sense, and then smile and nod at you saying “Yep, you figured it out”, that’s a lazy filmmaker trying to justify that they didn’t make a complete film, and you explaining away the only answer that makes sense in your brain, had there been enough scenes, story and connective tissue in the film for those points to line up and form that ending. Then you could say they succeeded and made a clever film, an okay film. A FILM.

But instead, they made a disjointed mess. With ideas that changed every few minutes, some entirely abandoned even. They never resolved the Detox box bullshit. Everyone is back on the internet with no fear or worry. The sending a cursed link got dropped. You could again, logic out that maybe. Behind the scenes there were constant rewrites. Reshoots. Changes made in the story.

So why did no one say anything during the editing? It does happen. Movies get turned into garbled messes but still get released because. They made the damn thing, they gotta put it out there, and someone somewhere will maybe like it or give the money to watch it.

That’s the idea. That’s how these things survive.

Remember, I was a zombie in a beyond low budget film, with my sister and her ex. That movie was beyond shit. The people who made it, were horrible pieces of filth. No one is proud to have been in that film. It never got distribution. No one wanted to touch it. But as soon as Grindhouse horror became a selling term to tag on movies. The guy added an aged film filter, added grain and made it look cheezy. So someone decided sure why not. Someone somewhere will pick it up and maybe like it.

This movie was a waste of time. I can’t say talent because there just wasn’t any sign of any. None of the actors stood out what so ever. Even in a bad way. They were just bland. Lifeless dolls reading lines of dialog.

The writing made characters appear manic and disjointed. People acted in ways that at one moment make some sense, and in the next make no sense. They act possessed, then logical, then like crazed animals. The creature looked like garbage.

The bloated crying woman in the Scary Storys to Tell in the Dark movie loved better, and more believable. Creatures in the Creepshow online series. Look more real. This thing wasn’t even comical, or mocking. It was just bad. Watching it move? Was like watching a tiktok of someone with a foam mannequin head on top of their own, wobbling around flailing their arms. It was just. Bad. All of it.

The only thing, Really the only thing that made me happy about this? Was the fact it was free on Hulu. But that happiness is short lived, when you realize watching it gave another play to that film. Which it does not need. The less attention it gets. The better.

This could have been a good thing. It had the potential in its idea, to be something of interest. But at no time did the creature abide by the rules setup by the film. At no time did any idea promised about the film ever make its way to the film and fullfill its premise.

It’s just a hodgepodge of segments and story. Written by someone or a table of someones who didn’t understand how the things work that are meant to be the backbone of their monsters story.

Avoid it. Even out of idle curiosity. Don’t watch it yourself. In fact. If you really feel like you need to see it? Because you feel “Well if its THAT bad I gotta see it!” Then treat it exactly like The Ring video. Don’t watch it yourself. Have a friend do it. Have them put that on their Hulu watched list. Treat it like you are on your work computer, and your partner sent you a dirty porn clip or image. You don’t want that on your computer. You don’t want anyone seeing you had that on there. So you have someone else do it so they can carry that shame and blame. Leaving you free to enjoy a life, where you know. You did not click watch, on Grimcutty.

We are one film away. One day away from this all being over, and we managed to find a worse film than the one I swore not to mention again. So until tomorrow, which should be fun. If you see someone talk about considering watching this movie? Do the right thing. Keep walking. Forget this thing even exist. Goodnight