SPOOPYWEEN DAY 14 INSIDIOUS THE RED DOOR!!!!!

Day 14

INSIDIOUS The Red Door

Well this is a surprise addition. It’s recent, it’s fresh, and I hadn’t seen it so it works! Right?

I’ve had a love hate relationship with this series and I don’t hide that. It’s a series I can recommend, with a few caveats. Mostly I am just upset with the films timeline, and their fast and furious like retconning.

See in Tokyo Drift, they didn’t expect one of the characters to be so loved by the fans, and upset that he was killed off. So they brought the character back by…setting the events of Tokyo drift magically sometime in the future. Allowing them to milk the character, until they just gave up on things making sense entirely and took a car into space.

In the first film we had Elise, played by Lin Shaye. A horror vet and all around not bad person. She was our gateway to the other world, our poltergeist medium who would announce their house was clean. Only she died at the end of the first film in a great cliffhanger for a sequel.

Now the sequel was a pretty okay movie. It actually setup a lot of things which later paid off and I liked that it tied a lot of events from the first one with the sequel, trying to explain them and make it look planned. Which god knows, maybe it was.

HOWEVER…

The end of that film hinted at an absolutely fucking insane showdown. In the first Insidious movie, we had Dalton, who was put into a coma when he encountered a demon. Dalton can astral project and the dead became aware of him through his leaving his body. Now if the dead can find your empty body, they can possess it and return to the living. Which some dead souls want more than anything. Especially harmful ones.

But the worst of them, demons. Also want these bodies, and it wanted Daltons. Elise had to help this family battle off the demon. The dad saved his son from the red haired demon played by the films composer no less, and they survived. At the end of the sequel, Elise had helped the dad find himself and save his family. She found peace, and found a way to communicate with her ghost hunting buddies, and began aiding them in their work. To help people who were being haunted.

Now…..my problem….is this.

At the end of part 2. Elise and her two buddies show up at the home of a wheelchair bound girl and her father. She can see the girl is deeply troubled as is the father, And as Elise looks concerningly over the girl. She begins hearing the crackling of ancient joints, associated with the demon. She looks up. Her face turns to sheer terror and she says “Oh..my..god”, and the film ends.

They teased. That in part 3. We would get the ultimate battle of Elise, now in the spirit world, now able to be harmed by the demon. FIGHTING, this big bad demon who tortured Dalton, and now this girl.

 So when part three came around. All of us were excited. We had a wheelchair bound girl, we had Elise. Good stuff!

What we got instead. Was a story that takes place years before the first two Insidious films. Granted, the film was scary, legitimately. But it wasn’t the demon fight we were promised. It was Elise finding her mojo after her husbands suicide, and aiding a girl struck by a car and put in a wheelchair, who had fallen under the control of a morbid spirit wanting to kill her.

At the end of THAT movie. We were teased the demon visiting Elise….

And then Part four came out and confused the fuck out of everyone. The less said the better. Just know it was another prequel. It was about Elise and her life with a father who beat her for having special gifts, and dealing with her past while helping to find a missing girl.

The movie was largely forgettable and it just wasn’t interesting to anyone. Especially the fans.

So here we are. Part 5. The Red Door.

This one lets you know, its not a prequel, it’s not about Elise and her ghost pals. This is about grown up Dalton heading to College, and his dad. Estranged from one another and having sudden visions of ‘the further’ and the demon from their past.

WILL WE GET ELISE AND THE DEMON?!!!

I highly doubt it. Because even the filmmakers don’t know what they were doing there with that.

Seriously. Fans for years have been wanting that to happen. But the filmmakers just. Do not. Care.

They milked Elise and her corpse in this series to the point fans were meh about her, so instead of going fresh, or giving us this fight. We get further…closer. To the. First family.

I am assuming here. I mean it’s weird right? Why make a trilogy out of the first family, when you resolved it. I mean the first one they saved their son, but the dad became possessed by a killer. In part two they saved the dad and saved the family. All is well. But I guess college can trigger bad stuff, or the further is boring and these ghost and the demon need someone to talk to.

Either way, let’s find out, shall we?

The Film.

Already this is a bad idea.

This family has a hard time with, well no pun intended but. Remembering things. The film begins with the end of part 2 Daddy and Dalton are sat down in front of Dr Runestone Carl. If you recall in the sequel he relied on runes to help him out, and he had a pretty spooky encounter with possessed dad Josh.

Apparently the best way to deal with trauma as prescribed by the medical paranormal board. Is with forget me hypnosis.

Now. For those needing a refresher.

In the first film Dalton, their young son. Had become the prisoner of a demon, Mr Red face. Dad had to be told by his mom, that his son Dalton, inherited his gift for astral projection. The dad had no memory of having this, ever. So they had to inform him that they had to call Elise, a spirit medium, fight off an evil lady who was trying to get him in the spirit realm when he’d project in his sleep. They felt it wise to remove all those memories and his knowledge on how to astral project. So that he’d be super safe and forget about the traumatic time in his childhood.

So they mind freaked him as a kid, only to undo it as an adult, so he could save his kid, and he was really not happy of the fact he couldn’t remember a whole year of his life BECAUSE his mom and others chose to keep this from him.

And now we have him and Dalton getting a two for one mind cleansing to forget the entire affair. The demon prisoner Dalton, the Further, the ghost, His dad being possessed and killing Elise, and trying to kill his family. Before being saved and turning good again.

Which…………….

Okay, that’s fair yeah. You kinda would like to forget that your dad was possessed by a crossdressing murdering ghost and tried hammering your head into the cement. That. Yeah. That’s fair.

But also. A year or so of nightmares and potentially a dash of ptsd. I am sure you could work through that, especially knowing it WASN’T your dad. Who strangled a woman, and tried bashing your brains in.

But

BUT!!!

Do you really need to forget ALL about the coma? The astral projection? The fucking demon? I’m just saying. It doesn’t sound like this train has a good track history in the past with this family.

Especially when the dad dealt with repressed memories, growing up wondering why he never had pictures of himself as a kid, and had to learn he was mind wiped.

ANYWAY, I guess that’s why we are here. Things can only ever go oh so horribly wrong when you make the same mistake, only worse. Surely though things have improved 9 years after.

So we begin our real movie with the funeral of Lorraine, Josh’s mom. Which is being over seen by…Dalton. Oddly enough. I guess the boy found religion. Good for him. Even though he’s acting like a bit of a prick now. Which is, well the way we’re going. More importantly Josh and his wife are divorced now. Which begs the question.

HOW MUCH DID THEY MAKE HIM FORGET?!

Did she release herself from her husband? I mean what the hell people.

The whole thing behind these two first films was the bond the family shared, the love. It’s what helped him to defeat the evil inside him and become whole again with his family.

But nope, She got outta there and took the kids with her. So Josh is now the estranged dad who’s working on trying to get his life together and be there for his kids. Because for, we will say.

SOME FUCKING REASON.

He feels like his mind is sort of in a fog and he just can’t understand it. I wonder why.

So that is where we are.

Family lost Lorraine, the good grandmother. For some reason. Josh is divorced and having mind troubles. For some reason. And his son hates him before he’s heading off to college. For some reason.

I’m not hating the film, I just think it’s funny and also really blatantly just…what the fuck. But trust me, as you should. If any of you can actually remember anything from part 4. The fact your mind feels like Josh’s and you can’t remember it should tell you. We can only go up from there.

And as Josh readies to head to his home of sadness and Hungry Man microwave dinners, we see WHY we love the Insidious films. These movies are gems when it comes to solid scares and hidden ghost. It always surprises me finding them and wondering how I missed them and this is no exception. As Josh sits in his car, texting his son about driving him off to college, We see a blurred background of green grass, flowers and cars parked. As he continues on and messes with his radio, and starting the car. We see the flowerbed, actually begin to move. It wasn’t flowers at all, but a hidden figure standing in the background.

Just as it gets close enough to almost make out, Josh’s big head fills the screen as he leans forward and once he sits back.

The figure is gone, and with that. We get our NOT this time loud title card and music.

I love this series

Even if the last one was just, a forgettable mess. It’s just so good at what it can do, when it works. I still stand by the third one being the scariest and one with scares I actually remember and squirm at. I want that series back man.

But we are trading up for a new kind of horror. Taking your shit kid to a holy roller college. They’re an art major. I guess he kept drawing with crayons and it landed him here. Good for you Dalton.

Though man I feel like dad got the shaft. Apparently having his mind wiped really did fuck him up and he wasn’t able to really focus on his family. For some reason. Some. Reason. So he became an estranged parent, his son resents him but tries to forgive him.

Who needs father and son resolving their differences when we have a new character to introduce though! And dear mother of god is she…something.

Her name is Chris Winslow. Played by Sinclair Daniel. She’s a fine actress. Salt of the earth. I love the choice of last name as it reminds me of Phantom of the Paradise and the man who sold his soul for rock and roll, Winslow Leach.

Chris is, a special case. For some reason Dalton and his dad, seem rather taken back, maybe a bit uptight, maybe possibly a bit…..roll it like your saying Ruffles R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Racist?!

I don’t know. I really don’t fucking know. But dear god the moment this woman walks into the room BOTH guys immediately look at her with deep confusion that doesn’t really read that well as ‘a woman? What is SHE doing in here, a place of my sons?!”

But the movie is playing it off that way. I hope. She casually mentions hey you know, it’s a liberal arts school so I guess they REALLY mean liberal. Which okay cool. Kinda figured. But why the over reaction there? Not like the family is hyper conservative. And I am still trying to find out exactly when the son became a holy roller.

I mean I say this as someone who has a card and IS a priest but. Whatever. It’s fine.

Dalton even tries to pardon himself saying he guesses he got confused since it said his roommate was ‘chris’, and maybe he was expecting boulder smasher Chris Redfield. She jokes it off and thankfully the two seem fit to become good friends. That is until dad mentions he’ll go talk to the school about switching rooms.

What the fuck dad!

But Chris stops him and tells him don’t sweat it, she’ll take care of it.

What the fuck Chris!

At this point I almost picture the Darth Maul demon sitting watching this and thinking “Damn bro, maybe I should save your ass” It’s just kind of really. Awkward. And I’m not even trying to make it awkward it’s just really played off like. I don’t know. Like the actors weren’t sure themselves how to play it off and it just hits weird.

I don’t get what Daltons problem is, not like he’s gonna wake up to a period party or have someone trying to peak at his junk. Dude should be chill. But no. Chris’s gotta go.

But for now she’s staying for the night, until they can formerly move her.

Thankfully Josh is leaving before he can remember to give his son cold sore ointment and his manscape ball conditioner.

Maybe this is why Josh was divorced, the man just made everyone feel awkward with his foggy mind and awkwardness.

Also Manscape is no joke, that stuff is super good and really works. I need them to sponsor me, for money and science. Of course.

So now the movie makes me laugh, and at a time I actually do feel it was inappropriate to do so. As Chris left the two alone, they end up having harsh words with one another. Because they are  estranged now, and we need to remember that. So as his father calls Dalton the ungrateful shit that he really has become. The two stare awkwardly at each other and dad exits the room, beginning to cry on his way to the car.

I am a horrible person. I just started laughing. It’s not because of toxic masculinity. It’s because the way it’s played off, it’s like a comedy skit. It just didn’t hit the right mark. I mean it’s a sad scene yeah. You get what they were going for but. It just didn’t really. Again. Hit the mark. Which is unfortunate.

Joking aside I really do feel bad for Josh and Dalton. But I also really wish the movie would give us a bit more background here into what these two had been up to. What happened with everyone to get them to this point. Especially 9 years after the fact. It feels like there’s a real story there and I’d like them to start sharing that shit.

I also would like to take a moment to thank Chris and pronounce my love of them for delivering the best awkward line and making it actually funny, when she offers to let Dalton, fresh out of his shower to play her Melodica, a small piano with an air chamber. Imagine a techno scottsman playing a synth bagpipe. When she offers it to Dalton, she ask him ever so kindly “Wanna blow my hooter?”

You are a gift Chris. Thank you.

But we aren’t here for hooter blowing! We are here for EEEEEVIL!!

Which is coming to us in the form of the art teacher Chris has a hard on for. He was super glad he got her as his art teacher and he claims she is “The best”, with the same look on his face as Anakin when he told Obi Wan “I don’t think Padme liked me watching her”

…….oh god that’s it.

Dalton.

Dalton reminds me of Clone Wars Anakin. Oh god it makes sense now. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

So, Anakin is going to art school, and his teacher, aside being French. Is also really super bitchy. She’s one of those teachers that ask her students to destroy their work, that would critique your final by pissing on it and asking you how it made you feel. While smiling and knowing she is eccentric and right.

Anakin loves this woman. She tells the kids to give into their hate and let it flow through them. To count back from ten and begin drawing something from their deepest darkest most secretive held back memories, also any memories that you may have had a ghost doctor repress through hypnosis.

So Anakin begins sketching with charcoal the basis of his art. A dark room, with a door. Well that’s nothing special.

That is until a demon hand reaches out and grabs his hand. Causing him to stab himself with his charcoal. Making Anakin bleed out onto the canvas, over the door.

His teacher is going to love this.

AND SHE DOES!!

He bled into his art, sure he could’ve poisoned himself, but she gives him a band aid like its just a Tuesday for artist and invites him to dinner at the local leather bar. But Anakin is freaked out by sith art and he also ruined his date night with the bloody palm. So he retreats to his room, so he can work more on his art. Because.

For

SOME

Reason

This doorway makes me feel he’s seen this before, and knows about this, but darn his foggy mind he can’t make it out.

Leading to a great moment that like his father, made me laugh horribly.

As Dalton works on his painting, in the dark, by table light. The power in the building has gone out. So he hooks up his little generator. Because Daltakin can’t sleep in the dark. For some. Reason.

He gets his desk light to work, only to find his light is now…blood red. Because there is BLOOD on the lightbulb!

Which leads him to get it all over his right hand. Because why not. But even worse. There is a bloody hand print on Chris’s bed comforter!!

Just like the bloody hand print left on his bed sheet when mom found it and knew he was being visited by darkness.

The point I started laughing my ass off. Was when Daltakin puts his bloody hand on Chris’s bed, so he can use his clean hand. To begin trying to clean off the bloody hand. Making a huge bloody stain on her comforter. Realizing what he has done, and ruined her comforter. He looks at it, stares. And tosses part of the blanket over the blood stain and calls it good.

You know.

I had to call my sister.

I called her, and I asked her, “So if you were sharing a room with a guy, made your bed and went off to class. Then come back, and find a huge blood stain on the bed, and the guy you share the room with just chilling…”  she sighed, because I had called her for the first time in forever and was asking about bloody bed stains. BUT her response, was “Uhh, well. I’d ask him if he was on his period, and why he was on my bed.”

So I thanked her and hung up, because I have a movie to finish reviewing.

But seriously! You come back to your room, you find your bed a mess which you KNOW you didn’t leave it like that, and a huge blood stain? And you aint gonna ask questions? It’s not like having two people in an elevator, one farting, and the guilty person looking at the other as if THEY let the fart out. A guy can’t look at a woman accusingly, when there’s a blood stain on her bed, which she did NOT put there. It doesn’t work like that!

Also she’d ask him why he had his period on her bed.

THANKFULLY Chris is coming into the room! Lets see what happens! Take down Daltakin! Slap him with your hooter!

Nope. She doesn’t care to check her bed sheets or comforter. Because she’s happily letting Daltakin know she is moving out tonight to her new room directly above him and warns him not to beat his meat at night unless he wants her to hear it. Which is. Admittedly good advice sure but. Well anyway. No one cares about the blood.

Also Dalton is freaked out. But who cares! Chris found the Frat House party flier his dad picked up and she’s dragging him along! Not because she’s into Frats she hates them and what they stand for. Which apparently is still toxic? So she wants them to go ironically. This sounds like the beginning of a case file.

So lets party

With the Patriarchy of Frat

Pazuzu help us.

The frat members are dressed in diapers, with pacifiers and huge rattles for…………..reasons. Nick the Dick, their leader, gives an inspiring speech that I really want to know what mind came up with and imagined someone would actually say. Because dear god I pray no one ever actually thinks to talk like this in reality.

But thankfully the scene doesn’t last long, as Chris our leader hands Daltakin a glass of ‘Frat Juice’, and tells him to follow her and “Lets go upstairs and go through all their shit”

Seriously, this is how you end up a case file, or the start of a really bad year.

But here we go. They are going up stairs and looking for rooms to fuck with. Because nothing says welcome to College like starting a rivalry and potential fight.

HAHA who am I kidding, they’re frat guys. Weak dickless rich frat guys, and these are students of culture.

Going through Nick the Dicks room and personal items. Where Chris locates Nick’s….ass cream. Preparation H.

She informs Daltakin that she is going to go smear Prep H all over the toilet seats. As. One does.

Honestly outside of getting cream on their ass cheeks and thighs I….won’t question the logic. It’s ass cream.

While Chris wonders off to put her attention on the toilets. Daltakin is being visited by…the ghost of Frat House past.

Yes. Not a spirit haunting him from the further that followed him from before. But a ghost of someone who died from partying too hard at the Frat house.

We will call him Pukenstein. Because he died vomiting and he looks like a spirit Halloween store Frankenstein kids kit. With alcohol poisoning.

Needless to say Dalton is not enjoying this, and appropriately freaks out. Especially once Pukenstein vomits all over him. Yes it’s as hot as it sounds, but unfortunately not that scary. Which really is unfortunate. But thankfully Chris is done lubing up the toilet seats with ass cream. She comes back and helps her hapless partner in crime up off the ground. Unfortunately they run into the rooms owner. Which. Prompts the worst scene in this film franchises history.

Chris decides they need a distraction, so before Nick comes barging into his room. And, Chris starts mashing her face into Daltakins in a hugely fake kiss, turning around and with all the acting grace of a meth addict in a prison play, states “Oh sorry, we needed some privacy. We were gonna do it…have sex”

Again. Chris….is a special one. I like the actress. But my god. My dear, dear sweet raptor lord Jesus.

It. The whole thing…

God, okay. Collect myself.

You know what they were going for. What was supposed to happen. But it just, didn’t land. They missed the mark and I almost. I really, really almost want to say its nothing to do with the writing. Or the actors. Perse. I wanna say this is the director. Because that was not a good take. How Chris acts, begins talking to Nick. I mean, if you wanted to come off condescending and acting like you are purposely trying to be a dick to someone acting like your 12 instead of supposedly 19. Then you nailed it. But good god did it come off horrible and out of place. It really felt forced and yeah. Just out of place. But we aren’t done there.

Because these are Frat boys. Not real Frat boys, but Hollywood Stereotyped Frat boys. So Nick after hearing Chris tell him they were gonna have the sex. Tells her he’d rather watch his parents fuck. But then decides to put the icing on the cake and tells her she can stick around though, because with a little bit of alcohol, she might look pretty. Instead she looks like a clown.

A 19 year old, dressed in an adult diaper, with an over sized pacifier around his neck, and stank ass old shoes. Is telling this girl, who is dressed casually, looks pretty normal. Not stand out-ish, not full of makeup or POW super beast bringing the smexy. Just…plain. But that warrants her looking like a clown?

Again this is just, really severely out of place.

This just doesn’t work, it’s not earned or deserved. None of it. But Nick is a stereotype so ha HA he showed her! So she walks up to him with a so not going to kick him in the balls attitude and says “Nick the dick huh? I prefer Kick the dick” and she kicks him in the dick. Shouting for Daltakin to run.

Now.

In a film where this scene would work? They would be chased out of the house, and down a block or two. Before they laugh out of breath and lean against a wall, take a seat and talk about what happened on their crazy night.

Instead the end up making Chris look like she grew up watching every College Campus comedy from the 80’s.

Give you an example here.

I was raised off of the comedy of Bill Cosby, Howie Mandel, Richard Pryor, Mel Brooks and The Three stooges.

I loved Monty Python films thanks to my dad, and loved laughing to Weird Al songs.

When I tried sharing this humor at school? I got looked at like I was fucking weird and out of my mind. No one got it. No one got the weird Al jokes, no one got the pretending to be on a horse and clapping coconuts together bit. I failed at being funny. SO hard. And that was Elementary school.

This girl pulled a classic 80’s frat party move, kicked the guy in the junk and took off ready for a chase.

No one chased them. They run out the frat house and stopped running. Declaring themselves the victors escaping with their life.

Nick’s friends did not take off after them. No one in the frat tried to stop them. She just kicked his nuts back to puberty, he dropped to the ground. His friends helped him out, and she took off running giggling like it was a great escape.

I would’ve sincerely laughed my ass off if the guys called the cops on her and got her arrested for assault. Because she did. But they were all underage drinking so. No one is calling anyone. And we are done with the scene. Thank Cthulu for small miracles.

We are instead moving on to, well. Daltakins first night alone without Chris and her hooter. So what else should Dalton do but. Stare off at his painting and masturbate.

No. He is not going to start slapping his paint brush now that Chris is gone. He’s just gonna have himself a nice sit down in front of his painting, and fall asleep. Apparently staring at it made him do so? Or he has narcolepsy. I’m serious, this kid just blacks out like its normal. But maybe it is. Anyway he doses off and instantly, for the first time in 9 years, astral projects himself out of his body, straight across the hall, upstairs and right to Chris’s new room. Where he opens the door and watches her sleep farting. He may be out of his body, but his senses are getting spiritually destroyed.

Why would he decide of all places, to astral project. To do so in her room? Because the boy wanted to play with her hooter.

No I’m not joking, and yes I said hooter. With an H. Not a, nevermind.

So yes. Daltakin entered her room, out of body, to play with her hooter. Which prompts her to wake and from her sleep she hits us with the comedy gold of “Where is my mayo?”, I……..Chris is. Bless her heart. I like her.

She also is appropriately freaked out when she hears the same song he hooted on her hooter the first time he hooted it. Daltakin panics, drops the hooter, shuts the door and runs back to his room.

It should be noted that. In the really real world when one astral projects. Anything you interact with in ‘the further’ is interacted with in really real time. So why he felt the need to play the same music, identifying himself and then run out of there like a ghost is. I don’t know. But weirder still, is that Christ BELIEVES he snuck into her room, at night, while she slept, and played with her hooter.

With an H

BUT.

THANKFULLY.

This movie has not forgotten its supposed to be scary and not a boner comedy. As Daltakin makes his way back to his room. We hear some great snarling, growling and see a glimpse of our long missing happy to see them again Darth Maul music composer demon.

He’s still kicking!

Unfortunately we are not going to see any more of him for now. Because for now. Daltakin has to answer for his crimes. Yep. Chris has left the comfort of her bed, wrapped in her blanket, to confront him on entering her room.

What she gets instead of an apology however. Is Daltakin telling her his life story, about how this is all the fault of the art teacher. She told them to dig into their deepest darkest memories, and he did, and he drew this door, and it looks evil, because it is, and he doesn’t know why or where he knows it from, but he does, and he stared at it and fell asleep and he somehow left his body and decided to visit her and played with her hooter and ran back into his room because life is hard for an awkward kid in college.

She believes him. So no charges will be brought forth. For now.

But lets step the fuck away from the college of what the fucksville.

Because we still have another life to fuck with here. Josh!

Yep. Josh is not in a very good place at the moment.

When last we saw Josh, he was crying like a man and running off to his car. Well. Since his son hates him, and he hates that. For SOME reason, he can’t remember things and feels like it effected his mind enough to stop looking in on his kids. He has decided to take steps toward getting help. So you know, good on Josh. Self care is important.

So we begin with my favorite past time as a kid. Getting an MRI scan. It’s a weird experience and a loud annoying few moments of your life. But this is a horror film. So it’s a setup for super spooky scares. Which, I’m not complaining about, but I do miss things like The Exorcist, which made medical procedures more horrific, medieval and gory than anything else.

So Josh is chilling out and being placed in the tube of dreams. For those unfamiliar, it is just as annoying in real life as the film shows. You lay down on a slab. It slides into a tube, and every time the machine does its thing and takes scans/photos, the tube you are in goes from silent and semi relaxing albeit super closed in, to being an echo chamber with an annoying CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG. You also have to stay still during it, it’s…fun.

Well for Josh it’s a lot more fun.

Just as he gets into the tube and begins to wonder if this was all worth it. The power goes out, and as it does. The film builds up a jump scare. Which wasn’t bad but, I kinda liked where it was going the first time. As Josh begins wondering what’s going on, calling out to a doctor who isn’t answering him, and his eyes adjust to the darkness. We see a truly creepy moment. Just above his head, we see two clawed ugly hands sneaking down beside him onto the table. He feels this, senses it, and tries making himself look up at whatever it is. But it’s a trick.

Just when you think he’s going to find a pair of hands and a looming face above him, you get nothing. It was a red haring!

Instead when he looks down the tube to make sure his junk is protected. We see a crazy haired lady ghost scampering up the tube which has now become a long passage as she skitters like a crazy ghost lady up toward him.

Unfortunately, well fortunately. He wakes up to a hospital fully powered, he’s done laying down and wants nothing to do with the MRI machine and its just tickling gross ghost. He ask the doctor what the hell, and the doctor tells him that he fell asleep the moment he got in there, they thought it was cool, and he slept for 15 minutes.

Apparently his overactive brain activity and pulse was not a concern.

BUT good for him! The doctor can confirm there is nothing wrong physically with his brain. There’s no disease, no degenerative tissue. He’s perfectly fine!

Outside of his memory wipe.

Well Josh is super duper excited about this, though also troubled because of this freaky moment. But he takes the win and heads home, decided to take the doctors advice on helping his memory. Since FOR SOME REASON, his concern is that he can’t remember specific things he feels he should. The doctor tells him a few child memory games to help with memory exercise. Like playing the match game.

Which we saw in the films trailer. He sets up a few card stocks on his front window, each one containing a photo of his family members. He begins flipping through them to play the match game. As the trailer showed us, and as it plays out. Eventually as he does this, takes them down, puts them randomly back up. We see a ghost again in his front yard, watching him. Getting steadily closer.

However there is no moment of the ghost being right up in front of him. Instead it just flat out breaks through the glass and tackles him. Josh screams the scream of manly men, wetting himself and filling his slacks to capacity. Running upstairs for his bedroom. Shutting the door on the ghost. Because doors keep ghost out.

They actually do. Go watch Drag Me To Hell. Doors keep even demon ghost out. But not their shadows.

Well eventually this ghost decides to leave him be, and Josh is thankful. So he opens the door to look out. But oh noes, he sees a spooky shadow move downstairs. The Intruder is actually there! In the house!

No. It’s not. It’s in the same room with him. As he turns around he comes back to face with the wrinkle faced not friendly looking further ghost and gets slammed into the wall. Needless to say it is not a fun time for Josh.

Also it’s rather rude of a ghost to just slam through someones front window. Someone has to pay for that. Someone still living. Tax the dead. I said it. Shit give it a few years and they just might. When there’s no more room in hell, we gotta charge you.

So what was the point of this ghostly assault on dad? To knock his ass straight out of the living world and into the further. So he could wake up there and discover a box with a name on it, and when he…touches the box in the further, he…wakes up back in the real world, with the box in his lap. So. Profit?

It’s a bit weird but hey if it gets your story moving, and this is leading us down some Stir of Echo’s territory as the box with a name on it is VERY likely our ghost haunting papa Josh, and that name is Ben Burton. A name we shall learn more about as we continue on.

I mean. It’s interesting? But at the same time, I don’t know. It’s the same as Daltakin and his encounter with the dead frat guy who vomits like its going out of style. Do you need two ghost encounters that our hero’s will have to encounter and aid? I say this having no idea but I am SERIOUSLY certain they are going to have to do the old trope of helping the spooky ghost who aren’t really bad or spooky. They’re just ghost trying to get on with their afterlife.

It feels like one is enough, and the rest is a bit of a waste. You don’t need to hammer similarities between father and son to the point their lives are mirroring one another in a story that’s supposed to be about a red door, demons from the past and fixing the family.

Sometimes keeping it simple is better, and this just feels like you are adding sprinkles to a donut that already has sprinkles. You didn’t need to do it, but you did and you can say you added something to it.

Speaking of, it’s time to rejoin the true villain of the film. Daltakins art teacher.

Seriously. This woman has only one art mood. Darkness, trauma, evil. She is the reason no one is allowed happiness in her class, and why Daltakin made the door painting. Knowing her, she might be the one flipping the buildings power off because darkness pleases her and brings out the creativeness she wants her students to have, while getting off on the suffering of the students now trapped in the dark.

I truly believe she could be the demon, or A demon. Because she’s just drawing more of this evil shit out. Todays lesson is all about dragging out deep dark past trauma, For those without trauma, she is handing out puppies sat inside blenders which she will instruct the students to plug in, telling them only 3 out of the 8 blenders work, who will turn it on?

Actually no. She just tells them to paint trauma from their life. So now Daltakin has fully colored in his red door, and added a screaming blank feature face holding an object in anger. It’s almost Lovecraftian how his paintings are disturbing him the more he adds to the image. He brings the painting back to his room and decides to ponder on it. Sinking into the depths of his dark mind and focusing on an answer, something to explain this door and its meaning.

Just as he is about to find that answer and obtain complete enlightenment, Chris comes busting into the room, destroying his focus and tosses his painting to the floor so she can show him her nifty laptop and play a youtube video of cats flying on a plate of spaghetti through space.

She also shows him a clip of our at one time fan favorite ghost hunting dorks Specs and Tucker. Talking about of all things, Astral projection. She researched it so she could tell Daltakin he wasn’t crazy. He just has a cool ability. This also leads into a short video done by Elise. Because we can’t have a single Insidious film without her, I also wondered when we would get her in this, and instantly remember the last film and how we should’ve had her fighting the demon 1v1.

She explains what we already knew from the other films. Specifically the first two films. That while its cool to astral project yourself, you need to be careful. When you do so, your soul is leaving the husk you call a body. So when you do, you leave the body open to other spirits to take the body. So don’t astral project, if you do? Take it seriously, and walk a narrow path.

Basically watch your ass jack, and don’t fuck around, less you wanna find out.

So obviously hearing this, Daltakin immediately wants to go back into the further, and talk to the vomiting kid. Which brings about more what the fuck am I watching. Because we need it, courtesy of Daltakin and Chris.

So Daltakin wants to talk to the dead frat guy.

He says they need to return to the frat house.

The frat house Chris assaulted the main guy at and lathered the toilet seats with ass cream of.

She informs him this will be impossible, as Nick the Dick will not welcome them back with open arms.

So, in a boner comedy, and anything else. This would present our duo with the challenge. How do we get into this frat house without being caught and having our butts handed to us?

Their plan?

Walk through the front door, hope no one is there and walk upstairs.

Bold move Cotton, let’s hope it pays off in the finals.

So they arrive, they walk right in, and oh no! A Frat girl notices them, as the frat bros are watching a movie. She rightfully ask the two strangers in their frat house what they are doing there. So Chris. Immediately acts and, begins using a British accent. A horrible, horrible British accent, explaining to the girl how she believes she left her brassiere up stairs in one of the  rooms. So the girl scoffs and tells her to go for it.

Never change Chris, you beautiful, shimmering diamond.

Goddamn man.

So yeah. They make their way upstairs, Daltakin decides to sit on the floor and astral project, because Chris makes a joke about ‘How crusty do you think those sheets are’, and Daltakin chimes in “They’d crumble like a dirty taco shell”

We hold for laughs, and he sits on the floor and passes out into the further.

Why is he doing this? Who knows. Even he doesn’t know. But he’s doing it. For science I guess.

While in the further he goes back into Nick the Dicks room, which apparently no one questions how his locked door would be unlocked and open as Daltakin would need to open it in the Further in order to pass through. We are greeted to Nick trying to woo a girl and failing, then making a joke about needing to take a dump and the girl packing up and leaving. This is all central to the story.

While this happens Daltakin is just free roaming until the vomit kid finds him, and…begins thrashing Daltakin by his throat. Shouting at him to “SHUT THE DOOR”. Daltakin, though he is a fan of Game of Thrones, tries to correct the ghost that it’s Hold the Door, which became Hodor, and not Shut the Door.

It’s a useless scene and encounter, but we get it, and meanwhile Chris is having a visitor, while watching over Daltakin’s sleeping corpse of a shell. She is visited by the demon. She thinks its Daltakin. At least until the demon grabs her by the throat and begins choking her out.

She passes out with a solid thud.

Now this is where things get slightly interesting.

Slightly.

Nick the Dick has heard the sound of a body hitting the floor. He rushes over to investigate. Now. You would imagine. Because of how Chris has acted, that this would be an oh shit moment. Her and Dalton will be discovered, hiding out in one of the rooms. The woman who kicked his balls and baby dick and ran out of the frat.

Instead, Nick the Dick subverts these already unbelievable expectations, and does the human thing. He sees a girl passed out on the floor, and immediately begins going into full on CPR chest pumps trying to save her.

Meanwhile Dalton enters the room through the Further, he sees the music composter in darth maul makeup snarling at him, and he gets back into his body.

Now.

In a good movie…

The next scene would be Those two sat on a couch, thanking Nick for helping them, Him coming off as not such a bad dickhead, and then asking them. What was going on. Why they were there after what happened.

Then Daltakin would explain how he saw the frat ghost. They would laugh, but then get freaked out when he recalls specific details of the guy, and either they would make piece with one another and gain an alley, or they’d be told please leave and never come back. Something.

Instead the next scene we get is Daltakin standing outside the college infirmary as Chris comes out, stomping away mad at being choked out and likely from being saved by the man Nick the Dick.

Daltakin tries to stop her and apologize for what happened, she actually for once in this film says something meaningful to him. She tells him he needs to stop fucking around with this shit, that there are dark troubling things out there, and if he fucks around, he’s gonna find out. She is genuinely concerned for him. I hate to say it but, getting choked out by an invisible demon seems to smack the silliness right out of some people and bring them back down to reality.

Except for Daltakin. He needs answers. So he’s calling up his lil bro. He tells him all about his painting of a red door, and a scary man with a hammer. Leading his little bro to tell him something. Now his little bro was little enough he doesn’t clearly remember things from the first two films. And he lets us know this. He drops the unverified rumor tags and tells his bro to take this all with a grain of salt. He tells him about a nightmare he used to have as a kid and his mom TOLD him was a nightmare and not at all real.

Which prompts Daltakin to cry and begin finishing his painting which. Gives a face and definition to the hammer wielding featureless face. His dad. So thanks to the evil art teacher, Daltakin is seeing in his work, their father snarling like a madman holding a hammer ready to bash some heads in.

It’s also funny.

Not because he’s crying. But also that. Mostly its funny because he decides to take a picture of his art and send it to his bro. I kinda thought being the emo shit he is, he’d just take a selfie with it and post it to social media under the ‘I don’t want to talk about it right now’ line, and watch the likes and hugs flood in.

But no. Instead his dumbass is going to go back into the further. AGAIN.

Seriously

This dumb bastard. Sees a dead kid, gets assaulted and screamed at by him. THEN he sees a demon. An actual fucking factual demon. Which he appropriately reacted to with an “Oh my god”, he knows this thing exist in the further with him, and these ghost.

But because he painted his daddy with a hammer and it made him sad. He has to ignore his friend who was choked out by an invisible demon, who warned him not to fuck around and find out. He also ignores the at one time well respected Elise, who also warned, fuck around and find out.

This hopeless maidenless bitch does not care that he will fuck around and find out.

So we got that to look forward to.

However for now, we get a much needed break

See. Dad is also fucking around and finding out. But in a much less dangerous environment. He went to the library.

Dad is researching the box with the mans name on it, and its contents. What he finds is, interesting. Again. This time not even mildly interesting, but actually interesting.

The man haunting him, trying to communicate with him, Who broke his front window and poked his chest a lot. Is the ghost of his father!

So yes. His dad, the father who he said abandoned him and his mother and died. Is in fact dead!

But we knew that. What we actually learn thanks to his library visit and public records. We discover his father was declared insane and sent to a mental hospital. He was claiming to see ghost, and get ready for this non shocker. He also astral projected. And the last note he left, which was inside the box Josh found, full of photos and, this note. simply said “This ends with me!”

So apparently dad went into the further to battle some evil, likely the lady ghost who was trying to take him as a kid. And lost. Dying while fighting in the further.

So the father he was estranged from and tried his bestest not to become like or have his kids hate him like he hated his father for not being there. Was a hero who fought for him and died for his son.

This is leading us to a much needed story break in the film, and a conversation I have been very curious to see and for these people to have.

Josh, is going back home, and talking to his wife about all this stuff he has unearthed, and about the further, ghost dad, cloudy memories.

His ex wife is wiggling, looking a bit uncomfortable and either has gas built up in her intestines or she’s on the verge of shitting out the long awaited truth.

Let the truth shit fountain flow!

According to her. What happened is the following.

After what happened with Daltakin in the further and with the demon. She informs Josh that he saved their son. But allowed himself to become possessed by the evil ghost lady that likely killed his father and that he, while possessed tried to kill his family. He chased them around the house, and their son astral projected himself to try and save them and help free his dad. After this all transpired, Josh told his wife, that he felt, the best way moving forward. For all of them. Was if he and Dalton were mind freaked and made to forget all of it. So Elise’s spirit friend made it so that they would both only remember Daltakin’s coma from that year. But nothing else about the further, the demon, or the cross dressing killer.

Now. It’s worth noting. That in this version of what happened. The director, and writer. Decided to leave out how Josh strangled and killed Elise. The main focus is he tried to kill his family.

So, because of the mind wipe. It caused him to slow down. To begin forgetting things. He grew cloudy, and in the meanwhile, Dalton seemed pretty okay.

Confronted with all of this, he ask his wife. What the fuck? Which is appropriate. But she tells him hey this was your idea, and we went with it. So why the divorce then?

Because, as hard as all this was for Josh to deal with, and having his mind forcefully wiped and now changed for it. It was even harder on his wife. Because he tried killing them all one night. Giving their youngest son nightmares of his dad wanting to hurt him. So she had to lie to her son and tell him those were all just dreams, dad would never hurt them.

So she got tired of lying to their kids, and pretending things were okay. So she divorced him and took care of the family.

Josh, is absolutely in the right being pissed off here.

He even goes so far as to flat out tell his ex wife that all of this, everything that happened and how she felt. Was something the two of them could have worked on and gotten through.

Because that’s what the fuck we were lead to believe at the END OF THE SEQUEL!!!

COME ON!!

But no.

She did what was best, and he has to deal with it.

It’s bullshit man.

I can get her having ptsd. She knew it was him possessed by the spirit. It was the spirit trying to kill them, not him himself. So I can understand her having to always question when she’s with him and sees him, is it really him? I don’t want to really use this as an example, but it fits. Its sort of like what happens when you’ve either been in an abusive relationship, or are in one and they promise not to hurt you again. You can be ‘fine’, but when they try to get close to you, reach for something, sudden movements. You have a knee jerk reaction.

I could absolutely see that being the case for her. That even though she loved him, trusted him, all he did for them. There would definitely be her own night terrors to deal with, and having moments where that fear would just creep up.

Had that been the case? Had they talked about this, and him realize them splitting would be best, or having time apart even. That this would help them? I could believe that.

But turning the mom into a bitch because she didn’t like lying to their son for 10  years about memories of his father attacking them? Get fucking real.

It’s just shitty. To kill what you established and built in the first two films. It’s like Poltergeist 3 all over again.

The first Poltergeist was about a mother and the lengths she’d go to save her daughter. Being the matriarch and bonding the family together.

The second film was the dad having to rise up to being a protector, protecting his family, over coming his own demons and realizing his love for his family. His families love for him. For each other, was what gave them all strength. Enough strength to descend into a spirit world and fight an ancient angry entity.

But the third film. The third films story is that Carol Anne’s parents decided she was just too much trouble and they sent her off to go live with extended family.

They killed the bond they built up and what saved the family in the first two films about always being there for each other, and her parents told her to fuck off they’re done with her shit.

It’s almost the same goddamn thing. They are almost retconning the earlier films, to fit a new narrative to repeat the first two films in a new way. Letting Josh be a hero again. But this time he gets to remember it. Like Rambo said in the beginning of First Blood 2 “Do we get to win this time, sir?”

It’s just. Fuck it’s stupid.

Speaking of fuck stupid.

Daltakin is back in the further. Because lil Annie needs to see his papa with a hammer. So seeing this in the further is the only way he can see it for the truth it is?

Get ready for a lot of stupid right in the face.

So Daltakin see’s the events of Part 2 played out. He sees angry dad with a hammer ready to bash his little brains in. He screams no and tackles his father because the Emperor hasn’t taught him the power to stop loved ones from dying yet.

But as he tackles his dad. He finds himself wrestling for a moment with the ghost lady that possessed his daddy. Oh no my dad was possessed! The shock, the horror, and from there. He is transported magically into the demons home, where he was kept prisoner during his coma, complete with more Tiny Tim music. Because the demon really fucking loves Tiny Tim.

The demon has spent all these years, all 10 of them. Building dioramas. Depicting Daltakin’s life. His falling from the ladder and getting into a coma, his dad rescuing him. Them fleeing the further. The demon really put a lot of work into these moments.

And just like that, As Daltakin realizes what really happened, and he cries. The demon is now possessing his body.

How did it happen? Don’t know.

Did he find his body? Don’t know.

It just literally happens in the blink of an eye thanks to shit editing.

We are not to question the how or why on when the demon possessed Daltakin. But he has. And we get the setup for. The most pointless use of a character and build up for a showdown ever.

This is really upsetting me, and it feels like waking up, feeling your ass is wet, and realizing at some point you farted before waking and squirted out liquid shit, and its now all over the bed sheets. You hate that it happened. Your not happy with what happened, and now you have to deal with it.

Welcome to this films final 20 minutes fuckers.

Chris shows up, because their building is once more out of power, and she is armed with a huge string of lights and an emergency energy bank. Because her friend is afraid of the dark. So she brought him dim yellow lights to protect him.

Its one of the lamer scares in the film series, and that’s saying a lot since I can’t remember anything from part for, other than it ‘exist’. Of course the lights Chris is playing with are not all working. They keep going out, then turning on. So as Demon Dalton sits beside her and creepily tells her “I’m not afraid of the dark anymore”, she doesn’t listen or care. She messes with the lights, illuminating Demon Daltons face one moment, and the next illuminating a super big dark circles under the eyes Demon Dalton face.

He then scampers off to the corner of his room, growling and scratching at the wall. Chris finds this, mildly off but mostly interesting. Calls out to him, he rushes her, tosses her across the floor, and begins wrapping a cable around his fist. She threatens to kick his ass if he’s in there or not, and just as the demon is finally let loose, has his time to shine, in the body he’s been after for 10 whole years. He leaves Daltons body.

In the Further, Daltakin is chained up in the little prison the demon had him in originally. He has an appropriate look on his face of “Well. I fucked around and found out.” He then panics, because someone is pulling on his chained foot. It’s Josh. Josh is in the further. He bashes a hammer into the foot lock and free’s his son. Telling him “Come with me if you want to live!”, Apparently. Even though the demon is out of the further and in possession of the body. THE body he put a kid in a coma for, to capture and torture and eventually exit the world in his body. Senses a disturbance in the force, and leaves Daltakin’s body. Letting it drop to the floor. Leaving Chris to blow on the hooter.

The rest of the film from there. Is a grown up version of the first film. Josh and Daltakin run through the Further, away from the demon who chases after them. Eventually they come across a, you guessed it. Red Door. Daltakin is trying to find a way out, while his dad encourages him to help him hold the door. But Daltakin says its pointless. The two are at odds with one another, His son wants his dad to run with him and escape. But his dad decides to follow in his fathers failed footsteps. He will he his sons Hodor and hold the door. He sends his son off, telling him to lead a good life, a long life. To score with lots of babes, wear a condom, and take responsibility for his decisions. Raising a thumbs up and sending his son packing.

So Daltakin returns to the real world, souls of the damned apparently clawing at his body. And he has an idea. He shall save daddy. As Josh remembers how cool Bruce Willis looked at the end of Armageddon when he sacrificed himself, and begins to hum the song made famous by Aerosmith from the film. The demon bust a hand through the door and starts choking dad out.

Well don’t worry too much because Soon the door begins to drip black ink. Instantly Josh knows what is happening. Somehow. The black ooze is paint. His son is painting over the door to close it.

Yep. Daltakin is painting over his red door painting. Covering it all in black oil paint. And as he does so. His dad is able to back away from the door. Darth Maul demon growls once more at us before the door is sealed up and dad takes a walk through the further. Running into his dad, who’s no longer that scary. The two smile at each other and gives an affirming nod. Talk about auto car auctions on tv, and then part ways.

Josh returns to the real world. His wife is now willing to give him a second chance instead of letting him mark her as a bitch for quitting on them instead of working through everything. Dalton paints his dad carrying him through the further, and Elise makes a last minute appearance, just to tell Josh to walk a narrow path and how he’s gonna be alright from now on. Because him and his son sealed the door, fought off the demon, and this time no one is getting mind wiped.

The end.

What a promising shit show of a film.

Seriously this had promise and it just blew that away in its third act. Which. Unfortunately. Is also kind of standard for these Insidious films. Just, you know. You’d think maybe they’d change after 4 films.

It really is a common trend with the series. I’m not joking. The films build up slowly, with subtle but good scares. They gear up to a great conclusion, and then it either turns out ‘eh okay’ or you just kinda laugh and watch happen what you know is going to happen, before it happens.

That doesn’t mean the series is inherently bad. Not at all. It’s just not everyones cup of tea. There are people who think these films are absolutely worthless and dumb. And those who think the film is like a Stephen King novel. A great creepy premise, with an ending that just didn’t follow the rest.

But again you can still enjoy it. Which usually I had. With the first 3.

This was still better than the 4th. Because I will remember this one. Again I really am not throwing shit on the 4th. No one who has seen it can remember anything from it, to a point I almost believe it was made by aliens to brainwash us.

This movie was just, a mess. A promising mess that didn’t deliver because. It didn’t seem to know what it was delivering. So instead of became a culmination of part non Insidious ghost story, and retooled retcon of the first two films.

Like a DLC ending for a game that people didn’t ask for or need. But the company decided to push out to appease someone. Just not the fans.

I mean this family had its story. It didn’t need closure. They got their son away from the demon in the first one. Then with Elise in the spirit world she helped them to save Josh and his family. They put to rest the ghost that had been haunting Josh since his childhood. Elise found peace and a new calling to help folks from the afterlife. WHICH is still a viable story to tell.

But overall. The story was over for the family. This was just a retread across what was already done.

We wasted an hour on Josh and Dalton discovering the Further. The only thing making it different ‘this’ time around. Was that this time, Josh got to see into it versus purposely entering it. And Dalton was willingly going into it.

You did this to these characters. You made them forget, so we could spend an hour with the whole bad scary ghost are good ghost, where the further before was occupied with very horrible spirits. Now the further is just the afterlife playground. You did all this. To go from the father saving the son. To the son saving the father.

You see, it’s like using the other hand when you beat off. It’s the same thing, BUT DIFFERENT!

This could have, and should have been good. There was a good story somewhere buried in this. But it wasn’t executed properly, and it was edited poorly.

I stayed away from spoilers on this one, all I had to go by was the first trailer. I didn’t bother with the others. From the trailer, it gave the faintest impression of a much better, more interesting story.

Follow with me here.

What if. The family had dealt with what happened to them. No mind wipes. Nothing like that.

The mom is struggling to live a life of normalcy. Show like we talked about. Show her still having a faint distrust around Josh because of his assault on the family while possessed. Have it be something we see her dealing with, that causes little troubles with them. Show the kids living their lives. I mean fuck they had a sister. A SISTER! Completely unused in this film. Just in one or two shots and that’s it.

Have Dalton getting ready to head off to school, still shook by what happened to him. Needing his night light still at night, still marked by his months in captivity. Shit you could even have him, like his little brother, sort of at a stage where he believes maybe what happened was a dream. Like Carol Anne.

In Poltergeist the mom said after they rescued her she had no memory of what happened, she didn’t remember any of it. But as soon as the other side breaks through and attacks she immediately says “no, not again.”

Give that to Dalton. Show him as a weird kid trying to be normal. Have Chris be FUCKING NORMAL and not a goddamn character. Build a friendship. Use the frat shit. Show us Nick is not the alpha he pretends to be, show them forming an alliance.

Have the whole family. ALL OF THEM. Begin to experience things.

Have mom doing household stuff while her daughter chills in her room. Have the daughter giggling playing with someone, and when mom enters the room, bring back the little dutch boy ghost from the first film and have mom gasp in horror realizing who it is and have him vanish. Have the dad brushing his teeth getting ready for work, and suddenly the lights flicker and behind him we see the long haired guy that GUARDED THE FUCKING RED DOOR IN THE FIRST FILM! The guy he fought against?!

Have those two clash and dad get scared and the figure vanish.

Start giving them all moments of hauntings where ‘The Further’ is trying to break through and get to them. Dalton starts getting creepy visits from the demon. Maybe he sees him in his art class looming in the shadows, the crackling bone noises he would make coming from under his bed, the corner of rooms. Behind Chris.

Do these things and have the family come together and immediately everyone try to protect Dalton. Go get the spooky investigators and the ghost doctor. Get them involved. Explain how “Somehow, one of these entities has found a way through the further..using your family, Dalton, or your Josh”

Turn it into a protection group. The family setting up cameras, monitors. Dalton trying to explain this all to his friends and asking Nick and Chris to watch over him at night in case he starts freaking out.

And then comes the twist.

There is a gateway from the further into the real world. But its not Dalton, or Josh. It’s his baby sister. She can astral project. And the demon is using those spirits to attack the family. Keep them distracted while he is pulling the sister toward him, to torture the family and possess her, or worse kill her.

Then the family, in shock. Have to come together. Dalton rushes into the further to save his sister, ignoring any warnings from his parents. Dad finds out about it from Chris who phones them and tells them what Dalton planned to do. So now Josh is going back into the further once more. To save both his children.

Have an actual showdown, a fight with Dad and Dalton taking on this demon. Impossibly out matched in the further with his powers. The demon thrilled to take revenge on both the men who escaped and trapped him there. And just when it looks like all is lost and he’s about to claim the sister. Elise pops up and pulls off an ALIENS moment “Get away from her, you BITCH!”

And the two super powers go head to head. Letting Josh and Dalton collect baby sis and escape. While the two forces of Elise and evil fight it out and the whole place shakes signaling a closing. Because Elise fucking somehow knew how to shut this shit show down. They escape through the red door. The door begins to implode on itself and vanishes into darkness. The family returns home, back to their bodies and everyone is hugging, crying. Happy and a family.

The ghost crew is sad because no one has had contact with Elise’s ghost, they feel she too is gone forever. Until they see her sketchbook move and she scribbles a heart or some shit.

Everything is fine. Elise is okay. The demon defeated and as far as we know. The Door to the further is closed, the demon realm gone. There is peace for this family.

Until an end credit scene where a new family is introduced and we hear Tiny Tim play and then it ends.

Again, I pulled all of this just now out of my ass. All the characters were used in the film without removing them. It was possible. This could have been good. I even destroyed the further so we maintain the crazy wtf of the franchise.

What made the first film so fun, was how you thought the story was going one way, then it went entirely another. You thought the kid was being visited by a demon and harassing the family. Then we find out no, there are ghost involved in this. Ghost who sense a vessel and want to get out, back to the world of the living. But those ghost are afraid. Because there is a demon also wanting this vessel. And a demon has more power than a ghost. So you actually had some high stakes surprises and it made it a cool concept and something to get into.

It still could’ve happened. This series could have been saved. It should have.

I just feel all of it was wasted. It was great seeing the composer as a demon again. But he was so barely used it was pointless in the end. I would’ve loved seeing more of him, seeing his absolute hatred for that family. I mean when we first saw him, he was in his prime. Red and black, huge evil eyes and hairy hoofs. 10 years later his skin is cracking, he’s a scavenger left to rot. You could’ve done something with that.

Instead we just get to see him and say “Wow, he looks old, oh there he goes.”

He got one moment to do demon shit, and all he did was toss someone to a bed, wrap a cord around his hand and pass out.

It’s like wanting to have sex, but forgetting you are on high doses of an SSRI and you can’t keep air in the tire.

It just deflated what should have been something worth waiting for. Especially after they finished up Elise’s story in the last one.

Believe it or not it’s kind of tragically funny that this series seems to be at its scariest when its furthest away from the family.

I really still get scared watching part 3, My sister went through the series as well and she was the same way. Part 3 just. It touched a nerve and it had damn good and creepy ass scares. This film had nothing. Nothing.

It had some nice setups. But everything that followed was just played out. It was meh.

The acting was, well. They’re the same people they were from the first two films, aside from the parents divorcing because the script needed that to happen to make the dad a hero, again. Honestly its making me laugh because it can all be summed up with a line from Chris when she first met Dalton and Josh “I’m gonna step out, feel like I interrupted some father son male bonding”

The effects, for what was there. Were fine. I mean puke is puke. It’s digital, its there. The face makeup looks like what I used in Elementary school when I went as Freddy and bought this kit where you made a paste and applied it to your face to make it crackle and look like…you had cake on your face. But it’s fine. Just nothing really stood out. Which follows suit with the rest of the film. Nothing stood out.

I would love to say this is the end of the franchise. But there is another coming.

A stand alone story this time. So maybe it will be better? Maybe? I don’t know.

Like I said, unlike part 4 I will remember this movie. But not for good reasons.

The music for what was there, was more the same from the other films. It didn’t stand out but it kept the same tone presented in this universe.

The film, believe it or not, was the debut directorial effort of Patrick Wilson, who played the dad Josh.

He. He showed up on time. He did what he did, and we have this film from his vision. Leigh Whannell who played Specs in this series was one of the writers, he also wrote the other Insidious films, and some of the Saw films.

I really can’t say much more about this, without just feeling like I’m stretching this out. I’m not even mad at the movie. It is what it is. It’s a bit of a hot mess, it could’ve used some better editing and storytelling. Maybe some better directing and. Just a better story. Like I said there is one in there somewhere. It just got lost, in the further.

If you want something to cleanse part 4 from your mind. See this. If you want to see it because it could be good? I’d still say you are best off rewatching part 2. It still works well. It really does.

Anywho. It’s time to pass out, I am so very tired, and my brain aches.

Until tomorrow. If you have an art teacher talking about death, darkness, and painting from your traumatic life and handing out puppies in blenders? Report them, Call a priest, and tell them to stop turning the buildings power off.

Goodbye!