SCORETOBER!!!! Day 30 POLTERGEIST!!!!

Day 30

Poltergeist

NO, not the show of the same name.

ABSOLUTELY NOT the remake which was horrible.

NOT EVEN Legacy, because what the hell.

No. This is the original. Naturally. I could’ve gone with the sequel because I love that movie a lot. Like a lot, a lot.

Like unnaturally a lot. But no. We are here for the one that started it all.

We shall not talk about the conspiracy of who did or didn’t direct this film. It has a director, they directed it.

It may surprise some that this is on my list, but it shouldn’t be surprising. The music is beautiful. The film is classic, and the only time I struggled with it was debating if it or the last film left to be talked about actually should be switched out. Because this film has a heavy score that did deeply impact me growing up, but so did the last film of the month. They’re both pretty big in my horror experience but, here we are. Again I don’t want this list to really come off as a ‘this is better than that’, because I’d really have to question my placement of the Candyman, Amityville and Fog soundtracks. But in their own way these do have an earned spot.

So lets get into it and pray we don’t end up with an even longer review than our last one.

Which is still crazy to me.

Am I feeling better? No. I’m tired, warn out and its hard to focus. I might have a sinus infection, I KNOW I don’t have covid as I took a test, two of them even. But we are ready. I got medical nachos, prescribed Mexican coke bottles, and movie ready. Let’s do this!

The Movie

Welcome to the pain of being really old and having to explain to someone why the tv channel goes off the air, playing the Star Spangled Banner before filling the screen with tv snow. Even saying that made me feel old.

Welcome to Poltergeist. A time when tv channels were limited and entertainment was found outside screwing with people. The great times, the best of times.

I loved this opening growing up mostly because its all told through the journey of our friendly doggo E. Buzz. That’s his name, don’t mock it.

E. Buzz is going about his business checking on the family as they all sleep soundly. Dad Steve Freeling(Craig T. Nelson) passed out in front of the tv, his hand resting in a plate of left over tortilla chips and a beer can at his side. Mom Diane Freeling(JoBeth Williams) asleep in bed minus dad. Their eldest daughter, Dana Freeling(Dominque Dunne) passed out in bed with a bag of chips under her pillow. Much as teens today think they are special for being yelled at for having their faces glued to their cellphones, Teens back in the day were glued to phones and chilling in our rooms talking on the phone. Seriously I felt like I  became an actual adult the moment my parents installed a phoneline in my room and I was given my own phone I could program a list of numbers into and speed dial.

And lastly our brave protector of the realm journeys off to check on the youngsters Carol Anne Freeling(Heather O’Rourke) and Robbie Freeling(Oliver Robins). It still makes me laugh because the dog is still cronching on potato chips and just happy as can be checking on the sleeping Freeling family. However Carol Anne is being awoken from her peaceful slumber as she hears voices calling out to her. She’s not sure who it is or what’s going on. But she’s curious and they seem friendly at any rate.

She makes her way from the comfy bedroom down a flight of stairs I would never have in a house no matter how much you paid me, and down to the tv in the family room. Staring right into it and greeting ‘the tv people’.

Which begins to wake the family up as she begins getting louder, trying to talk to the tv people. The family eventually come to find their daughter in the living room sitting in front of the television smiling as she answers a series of innocent questions. Seriously how do you react being woke in the middle of the night hearing your kid in front of a tv full of static, “ Hello….5…yes…yes. I don’t know. I don’t know.” Then putting her hands on the tv screen.

Shits creepy man!

I’d be calling the exorcist no matter what my wife says and try to explain to her there’s no other choice. It has to be done.

And with that our film is ready to begin. Opening over an all too familiar suburban landscape. Seriously its creepy how close to our home this looked, but that was the intent damnit! This movie is for YOU, the normal average family.

I know that doesn’t apply to any of us but lets pretend ‘normal’ and ‘average’ fit our families and aren’t words we use in intimate conversations with our partners.

Honestly this film is a great parents life movie, it’s full of family moments a lot can relate with. However before we get there, we have the best scene of kids enjoying having fun in a time before the internet. One of Daddy Freeling’s buddies is making a beer run. This is during the time before tivo and the ability to pause live TV recordings. So this man had to pump it on a bike to the store, grab 6 six packs of beer and carry that under his arm on a bike. Why not drive you ask? Because you can’t be ticketed under the influence on a bike.

The neighbors kids are sitting on the curb outside watching this poor man peddle for his life to the house, back to watch a football game. It’s time to fuck with him. They begin racing two remote control cars along the street side by side with the bike, The man on a mission noticing this finally begins to panic. The kids have him in their sights. The full throttle the cars and cross in front of the bike. Causing the man to crash the bikes front end into the curb, dropping his cases of beer. Immediately cans explode and begin springing leaks. Mission accomplished, the kids are happy and cheering one another.

Seriously not even joking, I used to crash my bike with my friends while we’d try jumping over a section of side walk that got lifted upward because of a tree root. We’d also roller blade full speed down the hallways of our school on weekends down a rampway as fast as we could go and try not to crash.

This was life in the 80’s man.

Well this poor soul has failed his beer run. He has no time to slow down and collect his alcohol. So he leaves most of it in the street for any kid who dares pick it up. He rushes into the house, beer spraying everywhere and he’s done it. He made it in time for the game. Much to the demise of his fellow friends  who grumble about the beer taking so long. The fact its exploding as its being opened, and likely because its warm.

He may have made it back to the house and delivered the beer. But at what cost.

While the living room is full of chaos as the men grumble howl and act like primitive beings in front of the moving picture box. Mom is busy collecting laundry, picking up around her kids room. They are not yet at the age when clean your room was hammered into their skulls.

Unfortunately for mom, she notices her daughters poor pet bird Tweety bird has died. Was it natural causes? Was it supernatural forces or a demonic presence needing a sacrifice? Who can say. All that can be said, is the most mom thing ever, “Oh tweety. Couldn’t you have waited for a school day?”.

Having grown up with many a small replaceable pet. This is highly relatable, as many of ours ended up vanishing while at school.

As mom readies to send Tweety off with a proper Christian burial flushed down the toilet. Carol Anne discovers this surreal sight. Immediately drawing into question of Tweety was a naval bird seeing as it’s being given the honors of a naval burial at sea.

Caught dead handed, mom must hold off on the flushing of poor Tweety, and give in to her daughters request of a proper funeral service for her pet. This means a cigar box and a funeral precession. She buries Tweety in the cigar coffin with a napkin for a blanket to use when he gets sleepy, a photo of herself for when he’s lonely, and her left over red vine licorice for when he’s hungry. She tries to hold in the weight of the avian world In her heart, for Tweety. But she faulters in a moment where stronger men would have broken far earlier on. Funeral services are conducted outside, a hole is dug at the garden. The women of the family are all called into attendance. Much to the boredom if their teenage daughter. Carol Anne goes off into deep heartfelt soliloquy about self reflection, and the life of birds. The shortness of happiness in life, and how though short the span of a pet birds life may be. The love they give soars ever in our hearts to heights untouched by those grounded here on earth. Godspeed Tweety.

“Hey mom! When it rots can we dig up the bones?”, I love Robbie. He gets it. Her brother calls down at the women attending the funeral while chilling out on a tree over looking the house and garden below, much to the amusement of the older sister Dana. As mom contemplates what to shout back at her son. Carol Anne looks up to her mom and smiles brightly as only a child can, “Can we get a goldfish now?”, How quickly we move on from the recently parted. Tweety quietly weeps from hell.

WHAT?! I Don’t know where birds go when they die! Maybe Tweety was evil, you don’t know!

Meanwhile on the other side of the house, full of heathens who didn’t attend Tweety’s funeral. Our manly men are the sport of foot and ball. Which seems rather interesting until the channel suddenly changes on them. Changing from the intensity of footballing, to the hardcore life of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.

It was a sad reality of two tv set signals being close enough to cross one another. Dictating the entertainment and lives of your neighbors. So as our men have their game interrupted by a neigbhor and his kids looking to watch something friendly and fun for them. We are introduced to dad battles. As Steve Freeling prepares to battle his neighbor Ben Tuthill(Michael McManus). The two approach each other from their perspective properties and begin negotiations over the fence. These negotiations begin to falter when Steve begins to give in to the pressure of his friends telling him to bring back their game. His manhood is being tested, so he must prove his status. Switching channels. Ben, a man who loves cigars, stares back with the fury of Patton and clicks back at his neighbor, changing the channel once more.

It is a battle of electronic device control and in the end, no one wins. Honestly they could easily resolve this by moving the tv set. But they are men of a different time, and to move your set, was to admit defeat, so you let the other guy move his set, thus making you the winner. Obviously.

Its your typical normal human family. Of the late 70’s early 80’s at least.

They are also the most chill parents you are likely to meet.

Yes they got their daughter a gold fish, complete with a nice bowl, and of course Carol-Anne is already over feeding them because well, fish gotta get big to be huggable.

It’s storming outside and that, naturally with thunder outside makes living with a huge gnarled old tree outside your bedroom window look creepy as all hell. Seriously, I would’ve gotten in trouble with my family and my ass spanked right off my hips, but I would grab a chainsaw and take that fucker down if it were outside my window. Sure being a kid I’d end up bringing it down on the house, or backyard. But not my problem. At least the creepy ass tree would be gone. Anyway….

Diane tucks her kids in, turns out the lights, BUT leaves on the closet light because, it’s important.

As mom heads off to the master bedroom where dad is already waiting, watching the tv, a Ronald Reagan book at his side, attempting to roll himself a joint.

Is Diane upset by the presence of marijuana in her home? Does he apologize and ask her to toss it out?

Fuuuuuuuuck no. He ask her to roll the joint since she’s better at it than he is.

I told you, these parents are chill as fuck. You’d be surprised if your own family did similar without your knowing. I discovered my aunt smoked pot and my cousins did too when I was 10, explained a lot of the chill attitude later on.

The Freeling family is a relaxed former hippie family and they are just chilling out together, enjoying some pot and relaxing, vibing while discussing the fact their daughter was talking to the television last night. Diane is convinced she might be sleepwalking, and that it could be genetic. She shares with her husband how she used to sleep walk when growing up and how it lead to a fun time of her ending up asleep in the back of some guys car, and when she woke up she screamed in a panic not knowing where she was, and laughed about the poor guy getting arrested, her parents having her go through a rape kit and being checked for bruises and hickies. How she felt bad for the guy but the whole thing was just a goof and funny.

She suddenly panics at a thought slamming into her brain as hard as the weed just hit her. No it’s not a realization that story is rather traumatic and could’ve gotten that guy sent to prison labeled as a pedo. But the fact that if their daughter is a sleepwalker like she was. What happens if she sleepwalks and falls into the large pit in their backyard?

No, it is not a large pit for demons, bodies, or troglodytes. It’s the future sight of the Freeling swimming pool!

It is very apparent to her trusting, loving husband that his wife is started on a bad trup with some good weed, so he immediately tries to calm her by reassuring her how swimming pools are the central hub of kids life and social status. Which is true. Growing up even we learned and heard this lesson. If you have a pool in your hard, that means during summer your going to be popular and friends will be all to ready to dive into that pool. It’s also a good form of exercise too.

But Daddy Freeling is high as a kite, so he only mumbles and talks about his experience in high school on the dive team. Which is incredibly entertaining for his wife. The parents may have needed some Gorilla glue or purple kush from the sound of things because they should not be this active and giddy before bed.

But thank god for having kids to kill your buzz and force you to refocus! Just as things were actually getting fun and the weed was kicking in. In comes their son, he apparently can’t sleep because of the thunder outside, and the fact he has a creepy ancient eldritch god looking tree outside his window. So dad is going to the rescue and handling things. Which may in the long run work out for him in earning good boy points that just might open up the country club swimming pool to the employees, if you know what I mean.

It's a fun scene and one I had heard similar from my own dad, as he calms his son down and teaches him how to refocus his attentions on the fact the scary thunder is outside, and focus more on counting between strikes, so you can figure out how far away or how close the storm is, and more importantly, how to know when its moving further away from you.

Between each strike you just count off one Mississippi, two Mississippi, etc. The further you can count? The further away the storm has moved along. It’s a nice bonding moment between father and son, and just as a father in general, I enjoy it because in the midst of this Carol-Anne is still awake as well and informs her dad that there’s a phone call for him on her toy phone. Without hesitation he tells her “tell them to take a message”, and with that, and things seemingly calmer in their kids room, he returns to their bedroom. Ready for the pool party.

Only there won’t be a pool party. As calm as he believed he made things. Both kids ended up in bed with him and his wife.

Which is understandable. I mean it’s not just the flashing booming light that’s horrible. It’s not the fact he has an eldritch tree in the yard. It’s also not JUST the fact he has the worlds creepiest looking clown in a chair in his room.

IT’S ALL THE ABOVE!!!

I mean sweet baby Pazuzu, what would compel a family, a sane family. To purchase the creepiest goddamn looking clown doll on the face of this earth, and prompt them to seat the doll, facing the bed. So the creepy ass doll watches you while you sleep. Makes eye contact with you while you lay there.

Honestly, years ago when Star Wars The Phantom Menace came out, they did a contest on the news, to find the biggest local Star Wars fan and award them free tickets to see the most anticipated Star Wars film of the time.

The winning fan was a woman, who had her own X-Wing pilot helmet, Star Wars Bed Sheets, you name it. But the weirdest thing she had, of all these things. Which no one. Not. One. Damn. Soul. Questioned?

At the foot of her bed. Purposely posed to face it, and made to look like it was holding onto the foot of her bed. Was a lifesize statue of Yoda.

Facing her bed, holding onto the footboard.

I’m not saying anything, I’m not suggesting anything, I will not infer any bed room activities or dating habits. I will simply say that, for myself. Having Yoda watching me in bed, with someone I’m dating…I mean I could do it but the point is no. No that’s just….no.

No, no, no.

No.

So please, future parents of the world. Don’t fuck with your kid and place a creepy ass full size clown doll at the foot of their bed, and don’t let them put full size dolls anywhere near their bed to watch them as they sleep.

Anywho…

The freeling parents and their two youngest are sleeping in bed and able to survive the nights storm. Until Carol-Anne wakes up and is once again being called to the television. Which honestly draws into question this family and their habit of falling asleep with the TV on. It’s going to run up the electricity bill, and I mean if your tired you should shut it off. But oh well. If you want ‘tv people’ reaching out to you, then that’s how you do it.

As Carol-Anne climbs off the bed and over the to television set, she moves to touch the screen as she had the previous night. Only this time it’s much different. This time two ghostly hands are coming out of the television set and investigating the room. Making their way up the bed over the sleeping family before being drawn to a central point above the bed. Creating what looks like a beam of energy between the television and the wall. The moment it happens a large earthquake hits. Rattling the house, pictures shift and fall, the bed shakes and jumps. Waking the family, startling them all out of their sleep. Looking around the room huddling together, worriedly looking over the room.

The whole time this is going on, Carol-Anne stands at the foot of the bed watching the spot on the wall, watching her family. Just as suddenly as it began it all stops. The beam is gone, And with that, Carol-Anne says the tag line of the movie, and the often still used famous quote from the film, “Oogity Boogity Motherfuckers!”

Fortunately that was edited out and a far more age appropriate less ghostly line was added. “They’re here…”

Yes, that’s the famous line, though the original could’ve equally been as memorable and creepy, I’ve no doubt.

As morning comes and the labor crew arrives to continue their work on the swimming pool. Moms making breakfast for everyone, and things are starting to get a little weird.

For instance Robbie while enjoying his cereal notices that, somehow. His silverware isn’t just bent slightly. But someone decided to Chris Angel the damn thing and bend it several ways like a wacky utensil. Even weirder is that his glass of orange juice breaks in his hand and ruins Danas top. Which means she may be late to school! It also ruined her homework but she can always make that up later.

Their daughter Carol Anne is also watching a portable tv less than a foot away. That is genuinely going to fuck her eyes up. Does she care? No. Is she possessed? No, she’s just a kid staring at tv snow, trying to communicate with the dead. Perfectly normal. What isn’t normal, and is rather hilarious, is the mom walks by seeing this and tells her not to watch that, it’s bad for her eyes. So she turns the station and leaves it on a violent war movie.

But even creepier? Having a random worker from outside, serve himself coffee from your machine, and start immediately shoveling your spaghetti sauce into his mouth. Telling you how great it taste, and the only response mama Diane has to this is to smirk, tell him goodbye and shut the window blinds on him. Its actually funny because you can see the guy still standing there a few moments after before she leaves.

Is it creepy when Diane watches her daughter, a teenager, getting cat called by grown men? It was the 80’s and creeps were creeps, it should creep her out, instead she’s proud of her daughter because of a proud display she makes of a fanciful way to flip off the workers before riding her bike off to school.  Yay?

Maybe its really creepy how there’s now a perfectly burned circle above the master bed right where the energy from the television punched through into our realm, or the fact the dog is sitting on the bed, barking at it, and decides to run off, grab its ball and then drop it on the bed before doing a standup pose ready to play fetch.

That would seem a bit out of sorts…

Oh and I guess also the least creepiest thing to happen in the house is the chairs she pushed in at the table when the kids left them out, got somehow pushed back out. So she puts them back into place and the moment she turns her back on them. The chairs end up stacked in an impressive balancing act on top of the table in less than 4 full seconds. Sure Diane freaks out and likely pisses herself but I mean that’s just normal stuff when you life in a home where your daughter is communicating with supernatural forces and you have an eldritch tree in your yard.

I’d say it could be the pot but, she seems to have that habit well under control.

But no. the weirdest damn thing, and funniest, is the Freeling family themselves.

Is mom freaked out about the chairs having moved, then stacked themselves? Yes absolutely. It freaks her the hell out!

Does she call an exorcist? No. Does she look into spiritual mediums and anyone that can explain this to her? No. Does she burn the furniture declaring Ikea the house of satan? No, but she isn’t entirely wrong either.

So what does she do? What anyone else would do when something weird, unexplained and creepy happens like furniture moving on its own. She has fun with it!

Seriously. She not making dinner, she said screw taking the kids anywhere, hell with finishing cleaning. I’m gonna sit and spin on the unexplained force pulling things across the floor.  Hell I’m gonna escalate it and use my daughter as a hockey puck on the floor!

Being a parent was a lot more interesting and you had to make your own entertainment back in the days before the internet.

Steve comes home from a full day of Real Estate work, and is pulled into the house by his wife. Who is far too excited to share this experience with him. Immediately questioning if his wife got ahold of some purple haze, or maybe some silver girl scout cookies strain, because she is really, really giddy and happy about everything in the world right now, and he hopes there’s some left if his wife was toking.

He comes to find their dinning room table has been moved aside, and Diane has marked certain spots on the kitchen floor. She warns him not to stand on the spots and to just sit back and watch. So she grabs a chair, places it into a marked circle. Within moments the chair begins to wobble, then drags itself across he floor. From one spot to the next. Instantly Diane cheers and is incredibly excited, while her husband watches in disbelief and shock.

The greatest reaction coming from young Carol Anne, who yawns having grown tired of her mom doing this all through the afternoon into dinner time. But Diane is only just starting. The show is about to kick off.

She watches her husband investigate the chair, looking for some solution to the trick he just saw and finding very quickly, and worryingly that there is no trick to it he can spot. She instructs him to stay right there, and she grabs Test Pilot Carol Anne. Who is wearing a football helmet. For safety. See? Still a good mom.

Carol Ann is tired of being a test pilot though, she wants food and she’s tired of waiting. So Diane says the magic words anyone loves hearing and I myself wish I could have, We’ll order pizza. Lucky bastards.

Now I am 86% sure she is high. She’s giggly, super excited, wants pizza and she’s having a blast watching things scoot across the floor like it’s the best thing in all of existence.

As Carol Anne is seated on the circle, the same one as the chair previously. Steve watches as his daughter suddenly sweeps across the floor and into his arms. Once more exciting Diane, while making Steve question what even is reality.

As he watches, bewilderd and panicked. His daughters gets up and complains to her mother that it hurt that time going across the floor. Her moms response is to tell her, “Sorry baby, floor needed more wax.”

You might be beginning to wonder if I’m onto something and the mom is baked out of her mind. Just food for thought. With that Diane tells her husband he has to try it, it’s an experience and it’ll make him feel like a kid again. As Steve just got home from work and hasn’t had nearly as much good stuff as Diane has had, he politely says get the fuck out of town, but he does so silently and with a negative shake of his head. So she decides to describe it for him, what it feels like and why it’s such an awesome experience. “It’s like there’s this tickling, you know, right in here. And it starts to pull you. The tickling pulls you. All of a sudden, it’s like there’s no air, except you can breathe. And your getting pulled along.”

It sounds cool, not gonna lie, even if its possibly demonic, possibly supernatural, or possibly Russian microwave emitter beams.

I have to admit the script for the film, is far funnier than what was filmed, and I kinda wish they’d followed it. But it’s a much cleaner ‘we need a pg13 rating’ version they filmed. In the script when Steve sees what happens with Carol Anne, his response is, Well shit why not share the whole thing and why it’s better on page.

Diane: Sorry, baby, the floor needed more wax.

Steven: What the fuck!!

Diane: You try!

Steven: What???

Diane: You can’t believe the feeling.

Steven What’s the gag? There a magnet back there? I hate Pizza hut! Where’s supper? I don’t understand, Diane. What the hell’s going on around here?

Meanwhile Carol Anne puts the helmet back on and sits back down on the launch circle, as her parents have their discussion across the room.

Carol Anne: Daddy, look at me!!

They turn but it’s too late. Carol Anne shoots across the room faster than before, and with no one to catch her. At a sickening speed her helmet smashes into the wall. Diane screams and Steven runs over. An eight inch hole in the wall and the cracked plastic on the helmet testify to the force of impact. Carol Ann is dazed but unhurt.

Carol Anne: You promised pizza…

THAT is some scary shit! That is an appropriate reaction from Steven, and them showing just a hint at how powerful that force can be. It’s creepy, and bookended with a fun moment about promised pizza.

The scene absolutely still works, but I like that you still see the scene was ‘there’ it was just refined and given that Spielberg touch in production.

Well with pizza hut on the way, and the Freelings now faced with keeping the kitchen off limits, as well as laying off the bud for a while. They are now at a crossroad. What dot hey do about this, and who can possibly help them? It’s a fun moment and another one of those very real feeling times in the film. They aren’t sure who to talk to about it, let alone how you would approach someone about that. So they decide to ask their neighbor, Ben Tuthill.

Yes its hilarious. And awkward, how could it be anything else but? I also feel the Freelings did get a little high before heading over because even Steven is acting funky and giggly now. He gets it. He gets it.

But also how can you keep a straight face when you have to ask your neighbor if they’ve noticed anything weird around the neighborhood lately, in his house. Like dishes and furniture moving on their own. The neighbor appropriately stares at them wondering if they’re hire and the Freelings go back home just as another thunder storm is readying to hit the neighborhood.

It’s the little human moments in the movie that really make me enjoy the movie, dealing with the reality of their situation and how to approach it. Giving it a true sense of the real world. Most films you have people going off and instantly finding either whole departments dedicated to paranormal investigation, or they instantly hire a medium that isn’t a fraud or Zak Bagans. It’s the same film world as CHUD 2, where two high school kids can sneak into a top secret military instillation using the back door and wheel out a hospital gurney with a body.

As the couple discuss their options and how to handle it. Steven feels it’s best to keep it in the family. Just not talk about it. Swear the kids to a life of secrecy and just hope it either goes away or doesn’t cost them new furniture. Or a ton in floor wax given how much enjoyment there seems to be with using it.

As they ready themselves for bed, and the storm rages on outside, Robby is in bed staring with wide eyes at the horrific visage of the eldritch tree and the thunder as rain pours down mercilessly.

Now his dad told him how he specifically chose this house because of the ancient tree outside their home. His father said the tree has been around for many years and would protect them and look over the house. It’s a blessing, not something to fear. Especially when its there to look over you and protect the family.

As Robbie tries to remind himself of that fact while staring at the ancient protector of the house, counting down the strikes of bright light and booms. He learns a valuable lesson every child eventually learns. His parents are full of shit. The biggest, foulest Doberman sized shit.

The Eldritch tree, protector of the family and house, has determined Robbie is a threat, and must be dealt with. As two large branch arms break through the window and grab hold of Robbie, dragging him out of his room. The nightmare fuel of a thousand years rooted in their backyard has a hold of Robbie and is splitting open its trunk to form a mouth which it uses to begin swallowing their sun.

Its terrifying. It scared me as a kid not just because what was happening to the kid and the tree looking scary. But the fact, just like in Jaws with Chrissti. When Robbie is being swallowed by the tree, he screams out “It’s hurting me!”, it hits the same as hearing Chrissti through her screaming about the shark attack screaming “It burns! Oh god it burns!”

It might sound silly but, its just something about knowing just how it hurts, knowing it looks horrific, but having to hear its painful, does more than sound effects for me.

Steven leaps into action, putting aside his son is being swallowed by a tree. He begins climbing it in his pajamas trying desperately to reach his son as Diane watches from the ground and Dana peaks in through the safety of the house.

Meanwhile, things are going exactly as planned. The tree attack was a distraction. Used by the forces in the house to get Carol Anne alone. The moment she’s left alone up there. Her closet begins to blow a bright white. Opening up and suddenly opening up a portal. Siphoning all the items in the room toward it. Carol Anne screams out for her mom and dad, holding onto the metal framing of her bed. Unfortuantely it isn’t enough as the force pulling her breaks the metal framing and she flys off, screaming into the closet just as the door closes behind her.

Outside, Steven is able to get ahold of his son and pull him free of the tree. In the background we can see all hell is suddenly breaking loose in this neighborhood. As there’s not just the thunder storm and unholy relentless rain. There’s also apparently a tornado too! Which sucks for everyone living in the area. But proves a blessing for the Freeling family as the tree gets uprooted and pulled off into the tornado, howling out in growled pain as it is, and Steven hugs his son protectively against him.

Only in that moment do the parents suddenly realize, they’d forgotten to check on Carol Anne. They bolt off into the house and into the bedroom, finding the place a complete mess., the check out the closet but find only their sons creepy ass clown doll. Which again NO ONE QUESTIONS WHY THEY HAVE THIS!

Seriously I would guess a grandparent bought it and they don’t throw it into a bonfire on the off chance the grandparent might swing by and check to make sure Robbie is enjoying their gift.

So the search continues. Mom immediately panicking that maybe her daughter ended up in the dug out swimming pool. Steven without hesitation runs off in full on dad mode and is right inside that dug out muddy water hole. He’s searching for his daughter but with no luck. Meanwhile Robbie is inside the house. Dealing with the fact he was nearly devoured by a tree, is covered in actual tree saliva and blood. Emotionally scarred for the rest of his life and never again trusting trees. But sure. Let the family worry about his sister and leave him alone in the house. Why not.

Left on his own, and contemplating his place on the food chain. Robbie wonders the living room and hears his sister call out. Immediately freaking him out. Not the fact he hears her. But from where he hears her. Robbie begins calling out immediately to his mom, turning into an almost scream until she runs into the house. He begins shouting at her about the tv and Carol Anne. Mom doesn’t understand initially. Screaming back for her son to calm down until she too hears Carol Anne call out. She relaxes in relief as her daughter answers her calls to her. Asking her to come out of hiding, that they were all worried about her. But she isn’t hiding Diane soon is faced with the reality that the now other worldly sounding voice of her daughter, is coming from the television set broadcasting snow across its screen again.

It's amazing what happens when a family finds its children attacked by both a tree that sprouts arms and a mouth and begins devouring your child, while another one ends up sucked off into your home and speaks through a television set. Its fascinating how events like that can suddenly motivate your ass to look everywhere and anywhere for sources of help. Even reaching out to a department of parapsychology at a local university.

It's another fun favorite scene, which is handled both initially with dead seriousness, and then a bit of comical value. We first have Steven sitting down with a team of three specialist who investigate haunted homes and unexplained phenomena. They want to make sure Mr. Freeling is taking this serious and is not looking to turn this into a media circus or something to disprove her coworkers and earn themselves a spot on the tonight show. Steven assures the team he does not want to be there, he doesn’t want the media involved, he just wants his daughter back. It’s scarily serious and he sells it a hundred percent. However from there we go to the Freeling home and Steven is leading the group up to the main center of activity, Carol Anne’s room, as he does so one of the specialist, Dr. Ryan Mitchell(Richard Lewis) talks to Steven about having recorded an actual phenomena of an unseen force moving a toy car nearly a full inch over the period of several hours and how it’s the most fascinating thing he’d ever captured. Steven couldn’t care less, and its funny how he just looks at him like “Oh? Yeah wow…that’s uh, something.” He opens the door to Carol Anne’s room and we great the man proud of capturing a toy moving almost a full inch over several hours, to the site of a room alive with floating toys, the Hulk riding a horse, and records being played in mid air.

It’s funny yeah, but it’s also the most poorly aged scene in the entire film. Knowing that they went back into E.T. and updated so many effects, doing the same with Raiders and removing the damn relfection in the snake pit which shows you Indie was never face to face with a cobra. They can do that. But they won’t update these effects? It’s a damn shame. But the message is given. These people are entering a hell of a scene and they will, with any luck. Never see anything like this again.

The group is headed by a at one time confident doctor Martha Lesh(Beatrice Straight) Who after the display upstairs can barely manage to hold a cup of tea, the third member of their group Dr. Martin Casey(Martin Casella)is equally flustered as he tries to photograph quick glimpses of phenomena around them as they talk, only to find himself too slow. The three discuss a few possibilities as to what could be happening in the house but still they are unsure as what they saw was definitely not a haunting. But something more akin to…wait for it…. A Poltergeist. But they need to see more, essentially where the family is at with the extent of their experiences and make sure they aren’t possibly setting all of this up as an elaborate hoax. So it’s time for Diane to shine. She gathers everyone into the living room and turns the television on. Informing them they seem to hear Carol Anne better on this station. Daine begins reaching out, calling to Carol Anne, and sure enough their daughter answers. Drawing a soft smile from Steven, E. Buzz even gets his tennis ball and awaits the toss so he can fetch it, and the scariest sight in this entire scene belongs to Dana. Who is rocking herself in a chair crying as she shakes her head unable to believe what she is hearing and experiencing in this house. It’s actually really sad when you focus on her and a bit funny given the awe and hope the others all seem to have. While the eldest child is losing her mind. Between her brother being attacked by a tree, a freak tornado nearly striking their house, and now her little sister missing and talking through a television. Yeah. She’s earned the right to freak out a little.

Diane is trying to call out to her daughter and get her to return to her, but she can’t Carol Anne is unable to see anything. All she can see where she is, is a bright blinding light. Dr. Lesh immediately informs Diane to tell her daughter to stay away from that light. Seeming to know exactly what it is, but not sharing any insight. Just letting Diane know its somewhere she needs to stay as far away from as possible.

The creepy moment comes while talking to Carol Anne as she tells her mother “Mommy…there’s somebody here. Mommy? Is that you? Somebody’s coming!” With that Diane panics, calling out to her daughter, telling her to follow her voice, to come back home. Dr. Marty whispers to the other two he believes the voice is electrical, it could be coming from a C.B. located somewhere in the house and be a hoax, so he’s headed up stairs to check it out. Dr. Lesh murmurs to him this is NOT a hoax but the man runs  up the stairway and toward Carol Anne’s room. Meanwhile we can hear Carol Anne as she cries out for her mother, running. Everyone goes dead silent as Diane looks up to the ceiling and you can begin hearing the sound of footsteps running across the upstairs, and with it trails the voice of their daughter as she screams. Diane calls out to her once more and moments later a sudden large gust of wind hits her, going through her. Diane gasp out and suddenly, immediately feels comforted. She claims her daughter just ran through her. She smells her clothes and she can smell Carol Ann on them. She’s nearly hysterical, even Dana has moved from rocking in her chair shaking her head no, to now crying and half smiling as she tries taking comfort in what her mom felt and is now saying. The encounter reassuring her that their daughter is alive and still in that house.

Soon several random objects fall through the ceiling, a flashing small portal dropping what looks like a collection of watches and spectacles fall to the floor. The two doctors can’t believe what they are seeing. But Dr. Lesh is now on a mission. She wants to head upstairs right now. She ask Steven where Carol Anne was playing the night she vanished. They tell her the bedroom. Dr. Lesh immediately demands they go there now. Steven simply smirks and shakes his head. “They won’t let you int here.” She stares at him, “We’ll see about that.” And with that they push past Steven and head for the stairway. Only to find Marty running down the stairs back to the group, warning them to stay the hell away from there. He entered Carol Annes room and the moment he did, he was attacked. “It feels like something bit me, either that or the worlds worst muscle spasm.” He lifts his shirt and greets us all to the side of a large, beast like bite covering the whole of his stomach up to his ribs.  The three doctors set up their equipment and they decide to setup for the night and record any and all activity.

It's a wonderful scene for a few points. For me it’s the talk Dr. Lesh has with Diane and eventually Robbie about ghost and the after life. About hauntings.

Dr. Lesh: Some people believe that when people die, there's a wonderful light, As bright as the sun. But it doesn't hurt to look into it. All the answers to all the questions that you ever want to know are inside that light. And when you walk to it, you become a part of it forever. And then, some people die but they don't know that they've gone.

Robbie: They think they’re still alive?

Dr. Lesh: Maybe they didn't want to die. Maybe they weren't ready. Maybe they hadn't lived fully yet or they'd lived a long, long time and they still wanted more life. They resist going into that light, however hard the light wants them. They just... hang around. Watch TV, watch their friends grow up feeling unhappy and jealous and those feelings are bad. They hurt. And then, some people just get lost on the way to the light, and they need someone to guide them to it.

Robbie: So some people get angry and throw things around. Like in my bedroom?

Dr. Lesh: Yes. Just like in school. Like some kids are nice to you, some kids are mean.

It’s a fun and innocent scene that also touches a bit of dark thoughts and, also hints a little at what may yet come, as Robbie ask the question “If I got killed would I come back as a ghost and get stuck in the house?” They have to remind him that his sister isn’t dead, but they’re missing the point he’s trying to make. He wants to know, if he dies will he be stuck in the house. Because if he can die, and find Carol Anne as a ghost, maybe he can guide her back to everyone. It’s darkly innocent and it’s a sweet thing for a brother to want to do for his sister, whom he otherwise would be enjoying terrorizing if she were with them. Only proving that yes, while us borthers can be mean to our sisters sometimes, and our sisters may through us repeatedly under the bus. We love them and would do anything to protect them. Even if so we can continue to lovingly mock them and their sucky life.

YOU HEAR ME LINDA?! YOUR BROTHER LOVES YOU! Stop throwing me under the damn bus!

As night settles on the house. Only Ryan and Marty are up and moving it would seem. Well, them and the ghost. Giving us the other half of this scene which is so, so horribly memorable, and one forever grilled into my brain pan.

Marty has the munchies. It’s possible he found some of the Freelings halloweed, and enjoyed a few ghostly hits. But the man is going to search out sustenance. He WOULD’VE enjoyed some Cheeto’s, but apparently Dr. Ryan is also a Doctor of professional snacking and ate the entire bag.

So Marty heads into the kitchen and declares it a free for all. Seriously the man spots a chicken leg and shoves it in his mouth. He digs further and finds a huge ribeye steak. That sum’bitch is going to cook up the families steak as a late night snack. Now I KNOW he’s high as hell.

Well the ghost find it rather rude of him so they show him. By letting him encounter some of his fears. The steak begins crawling on its own. Slithering across the counter top. Which he watches in terror. Shining a flashlight on the cut of meat, the meat stops. Only to begin exploding a fountain of meaty chunks from its core. The man spits out the chicken he stole from the fridge and looks to the floor ready to pick it up. Only to discover the chicken leg is coated in maggots. He rushes to the storage closet to wash his mouth out and face off, panting as he does so.

A subtle change happens in front of the sink as he does so. The light above the sink suddenly turns a shade darker, and soon the man finds himself investigating his face. Something seems off. He begins poking and prodding at his cheeks finding them numb. Slowly blood begins to trickle as he presses and explores. As he begins to panic his hands begin clawing at his face. Taring huge chunks of flesh off. Leaving bone and muscle visible in the mirror. Until he’s nearly peeled off his entire face. And just like that. It’s gone. He’s perfectly fine, and staring at himself in the mirror.

I remember that scene, not because it scared the hell out of me. It was gross I’ll grant that. But I remember one night when I was very young. My grandma was babysitting me and I was allowed to bring one movie over to watch. So I brought Poltergeist. My grandmother had never seen it and she asked me if it was ‘appropriate’ for me. I said it was. By the time we reached that scene in the movie? She turned it off and said that most assuredly was not approved for me.

She was too good and my reach may have exceeded itself back then. But I tried.

As for Dr. Ryan and his Cheeto dust painted fingers. The man is busy drawing up a very well done portrait of Diane with spirit lights moving around her, the scene that played out earlier. Unknown to him however. The cameras are picking up movement and filming the staircase as little orbs of light begin to descend the stairs. Soon Dr. Lesh enters and Ryan is brought back to what he should’ve been watching. Everyone is once again awake and watching the parade of spirits march from the stairway downward toward the living room before vanishing ultimately. Ryan checks the machines praying they captured something while he was doodling, and luckily for him it did. For us seeing only spirit orbs as they are called. The recordings caught full spectral forms. In various period clothing as they left the stairway. Making the Freeling home feel like grand central station for ghost.

Thus ending the nights events.

As morning comes, Diane is sat talking with Dr. Lesh. Lesh informs her that the jewelry and other items they checks. Ranged from being only a few years old, to some pieces being twenty to even a hundred years old. None of it belonging to anyone in the family or any past relative.

Dr. Lesh tells Diane that they are taking their findings and they will be bringing help. The best medium in their field, and someone who is likely more capable of helping them. Ryan will be returning, however Marty is not coming back. Not even if he were paid in weed Cheetos and hookers. Dr. Lesh however, will be returning. She isn’t abandoning Diane, and she seems all the happier hearing that. Finding an ally and friend in the doctor.

But Steven and Diane are not taking any chances themselves either. They don’t want Robbie around for what’s going to happen. He’s already been through enough and he needs a break, so they’re sending him off to his aunt and uncles home. Dana also tearfully tells her parents she loves her sister but she can’t handle this. She has to get out of there or she’ll lose her mind. So she too is parting, Even E. Buzz the dog is leaving. No ghost has YET to pick up his ball and play fetch with him. They take the energy and time to lift everything else in the damn house. But not one has any of them ever lifted his ball to play fetch. Not even once. So out he goes as well.

Leaving Steven and Diane to await the arrival of their last hope.

Before that though, Steven has a surprise date. He’s been missing out on a lot of work recently. So his boss is coming to check up on him, wanting to make sure he’s okay and not possibly thinking of leaving their company. He accounts for nearly 50% of all their sales and that makes him one of the top sellers in their company. So he’s offering to make Steven partner in the company and give him not only a raise, but also move his family to a new housing development they’re beginning.

Steven’s mind is far from the conversation understandably. But he does over look the offered property. Only to make the joking remark, “Not much room for a pool is there.” As he looks over the development area where his home would be and sees an endless field of cemetery plots. Its in that moment the man Mr. Teague(James Karen) tells him, “We own all the land. We have already made arrangements for relocatin the cemetery.”

Steven stares back in slight shock, “Oh, you’re kidding. Oh, come on. I mean, that’s sacrilegious, isn’t it?”, But Mr. Teague smiles and shakes his head, “Oh, don’t worry about it. After all, it’s not ancient tribal burial ground. It’s just…people. Besides, we have done it before.”

And with that, Steven begins a harsh reality check as he can’t help but ask Teague where they did that. And sure enough Teague tells him right down in the valley. Where his home is even. They bout over 300 acres and moved all of the cemetary upward to the current location where they stand. And they’ll be doing it again once construction begins in the area. It’s not exactly something you go advertising in the papers, news like that tends to sway people away from buying homes that could potentially piss off the former dead residence. So Steven wisely decides to keep that information to himself for now. He doesn’t need this on top of everything else, and with that he returns home, and soon after. We have our ghost team setup and ready. Gear in place, and Ryan is carrying a camera as he documents the arrival of their star Medium, the one and only, amazing Tangina(Zelda Rubinstein).

She’s adorable, she’s amazing in this, and I went on the worst date of my dating life with a woman that looked just like her. No it wasn’t by choice either, it was a case of someone not looking like their profile picture, and the date was a horror show before it even began.

She wanted to see a movie, I asked what she would be interested in seeing, she told me to pick. So I found three that sounded like good picks she said no, we’re seeing the remake of Footloose, she told me not to turn it into an argument. I didn’t. She then asked if we were just going to the movie, and I told her I thought perhaps we could go out for dinner as well. I’d treat her to a nice dinner after the movie and that way we can talk about it, get to talk and know each other. She said sure. Then a day later she asked if we could do dinner at my place instead. Then she asked if we could just skip dinner and go to sex after the movie. Or skip the movie as well and do sex, because it all sounded like a lot. I agreed to the movie, they were semi okay with this. I met them at the theater and standing outside looking around for me, was a 5’3-5’4 lady dressed like a grandmother complete with a purse held in both hands and a knitted shawl and huge glasses.

It was the worst date I’ve ever been on, the movie was shit, they only wanted to talk endlessly about their ex and what an ass he was and his new girlfriend and how quickly he moved on from her and asking if we’ll do sex or not. I told her I had to go home and rethink my life. I got the hell out of there and I kept expecting her to send some sexy text like “This ass…is clean”, I’d hear it in Tanginas voice, I’d lose my shit and I’d never date again if it happened. Thankfully it did not. They did send me a lot of messages though being upset at me for pointing out how they should take time to focus on themselves and move on from their ex as they clearly hadn’t done so. I never opened her last letter to me and that was my experience on the dating site Plenty Of Fish.

Now back to the movie.

So we meet Tangina, a medium well known for her powerful abilities and having cleaned many houses of spirits. She’s the best of the best, and she’s here to help the Freeling family. It’s a great introduction and a scene that a film much later on would try to replicate, with slightly less effectiveness(Insidious). Tangina ventures all through the house. Even the forbidden room that the spirits will not let others enter, only to return ready to talk to Diane and the others, it’s my favorite speech next to the two priest in The Exorcist talking before they move up into Regans room to begin the exorcism.

“There is no death. There is only a transition to a different sphere of consciousness. Carol Anne is not like those she's with. She is a living presence in their spiritual earthbound plane. They are attracted to the one thing about her that is different from themselves - her life force. It is very strong. It gives off its own illumination. It is a light that implies life and memory of love and home and earthly pleasures, something they desperately desire but can't have anymore. Right now, she's the closest thing to that, and that is a terrible distraction from the *real* light that has finally come for them. You understand me? These souls, who for whatever reason are not at rest, are also not aware that they have passed on. They're not part of consciousness as we know it. They linger in a perpetual dream state, a nightmare from which they cannot awake. Inside the spectral light is salvation, a window to the next plane. They must pass through this membrane where friends are waiting to guide them to new destinies. Carol Anne must help them cross over, and she will only hear her mother's voice. Now... hold on to yourselves. There's one more thing. A terrible presence is in there with her. So much rage, so much betrayal. I've never sensed anything like it. I don't know what hovers over this house, but it was strong enough to punch a hole into this world and take your daughter away from you. It keeps Carol Anne very close to it and away from the spectral light. It *lies* to her, it tells her things only a child could understand. It has been using her to restrain the others. To her, it simply *is* another child. To us, it is the Beast.”

And with that, she stares at the family with confidence and conviction before finally saying the most badass line she could, “Now, let’s go get your daughter.”

With that. It is time to begin.

With that we begin a checklist of all things needed to begin Operation “Get Carol Anne” and the counter offensive “Get Fukt”

They’re assigning numbers to tennis balls, tying red ribbons onto a large length of rope. Tangina is channeling into the house, using the parents to talk to Carol Anne, trying to get her to respond to them. But she’s being restrained and kept from answering them. Steven has to threaten her with a spanking if she doesn’t respond to them before she finally answers them. Running away from the group screaming in terror. She’s screaming for her mother and father begging them to help her. Tangina forces Diana to lie to Carol Anne and tell her to go to the one place she should not be near. The light. The doorway between the afterworld and ours. The exact place Diana was warned to tell Carol Ann as far away from as possible. Carol Ann ask her mother if she’s in the light. Diana says no. She’s afraid of losing her daughter, but Tangina tells her to tell Carol Ann she IS in the light, if they don’t they’ll never see their daughter again.

So with tears in her eyes, she surrenders her trust entirely to Tangina, swearing she hates her if they lose her daughter for telling her to go into the light. Another famous line from the film as well, Go into the light.

With that. They approach her bedroom closet. The room empty and all that remains is a swirling portal of light spitting out from the closet. The entire room illuminated by it.

Tangina calls out for the tennis balls with the marked numbers, she begins tossing them into the void, either trying to play catch with the ghost because it’s cool and why not, But also to explore what he feels they will find. If there is an entrance to that realm. Then there is an exit from it and in that house. As the tennis balls are thrown through, sure enough they fall through the same portal downstairs that the jewelry had earlier. Dr. Ryan confirms those are the tennis balls he brought and marked, in his own hand writing no less. With that, Tangina commands they throw in the rope. And soon enough, a magical rope appears through the portal and Ryan is grabbing hold, picking up the slack on the rope. They’ve just crossed a threshold into the afterlife and bridged the gap. No big deal or anything. Just another Tuesday for Tangina.

Seriously I dated a girl that looked just like her in the creepiest way, she even had a shelf butt. Which isn’t a bad thing but, not when you look like Tangina. SORRY…Sorry, back to the review.

So After sending a bunch of items through the portal hoping for celebrity autographs of the dead so Tangina can make some money on the side, mama likes her pearls you know. They are ready for Carol Anne. Tangina shouts at Diane to tell her daughter to stop where she is, stand right at the light but do not enter into it. She MUST wait there for them. The plan is to send Tangina through the closet, following the rope. Come across Carol Anne at the light, grab onto her and follow the rope through the exit portal.

It's fun as hell and I always laugh when I see it. Tangina tells them she’s going in after Carol Anne, but Diane tells her that she’s going, because Carol Anne won’t come to Tangina, she doesn’t know her!

Tangina: You’ve never done this before!

Diane: Neither have you!.

Tangina: You’re right, you go!

It’s too much and I love it. The fact Tangina had to even consider it for a moment before realizing yeah, you got a point, risk your life instead.  Classic.

With that, Steven ties the rope around his wifes waist, promising her he won’t let go of the rope. He’ll be there waiting for her. They embrace and share possibly their last kiss before Diane heads into the portal and follows the rope. Steven holds on and slowly feeds the rope through, keeping up the slack on his end, same as Ryan on his end.

Now is a bit of a confusing point for some people. It may not make a lot of sense and it’s entirely understandable.

You had Tangina tell Diane to have Carol Anne approach the light and wait there. The light is a transitioning point for spirits to cross over. So having her stand there, assuming its where the rope is. They can find Carol Anne and bring her back. Just as long as she herself doesn’t actually enter the light, she will stay alive.

The confusion comes when Tangina after directing Diana in, and telling Steven to hold the rope and do exactly as she says. She begins backing away slowly toward the wall of the room, staring into the large portal of the closet, and begins to chant aloud “Cross over children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the light. There is peace and serenity in the light.” Steven begins to panic, shouting at her she’d said for them NOT to go into the light, but she persist. Causing Steven to Panic and begin calling out to his wife and daughter. He’s confused by this and in his panic he begins pulling the rope back toward himself. As this happens and the energy within the house shifts, Tangina shouts at him not to do it, to wait!. But he’s not listening anymore, he’s trying to save his wife and daughter. As he’s pulling the rope hurriedly back toward himself, a large beastly skull crashes through the closet portal and roars at him. Steven panics and drops the rope terrified out of his mind, and with that the rope and the skull vanish through the portal closing it behind them.

The confusion comes from why Tangina called out for them to suddenly enter the light. A lot of people genuinely believe the house possessed Tangina, using her ability to tap into the houses energy against her, that the house was trying to lead them to their death. I could see that happening, but my ass loving the movie as much as I do, read the book as well. Which definitely filled in some of the gaps, as did the script.

Tangina was not possessed, she was trying to help the large collection of souls trapped there. The beast, the main baddy in the film that was keeping Carol Anne close to it and lying to her. It was using her to lie to the other ghost, telling them that she was the light that would lead them to salvation. It used her to control the ghost. So while they were moving quickly to save Carol Ann who was separated from the group and headed toward the light. She knew the other souls would be after her as well. She called out specifically to them in an attempt to weaken the beast and take away the souls it had clung to for power. She was using the situation they’d created to do some good. But Steven was panicked because he thought she meant his wife and daughter as well. He was so focused on saving them that he didn’t catch it. So dude panicked, causing the beast to turn his attention toward what was going on, and that’s why showed itself to Steven through the doorway and attempted to stop him from taking back his wife and daughter AND the other souls.

But thankfully, Ryan stayed true to his task and held on to his side of the rope, never letting go. Diane and Carol Anne come crashing through the ceiling and to the floor below. You’d think someone might’ve thought to setup cushions or something, but oh well. They are back and covered in cherry jello. Steven picks up the pair and rushes them to the prepared bath tub, immediately dunking them both in and cleaning them off, calling out desperately to his wife. Finally as it seems all is lost, Diana takes a lond sudden breath and is once again among the living, and moments later Carol Anne is waking and the first thing the kid can think to do is just say “hi daddy.”

I may be a grumpy old man with a twisted mind and grumbly brain. But even I find it sweet and heartwarming. And with that, Tangina is being filmd once again by Ryan, who’s captured all of this and as she checks her hair she smiles and proclaims the favorite line of many, and one I now giggle at hearing as I recall that horrible date. “This house, is clean.”

The family is now reunited. Their son and eldest daughter return, along with E. Buzz. They are packing up their home and selling the place. Steven is quitting his job and the family is on to greener pastures. Mama Diane now has gray streaks in her hair thanks to her encounter with the after life, and has bought herself a hair dye kit. As Diane talks with Steven about him quitting his job, he ask Diane how Carol Anne is doing and she informs him that she’s perfectly fine. She remembers nothing about what happened what so ever. Which honestly, is pretty damn great. Not gonna lie!

I love this part of the film because it still finds a way for some fun and some implied dirty humor. Diane jokes with her daughter about her new white streaked her. Dana is definitely feeling a lot better, but she is still going to go have dinner with some of her friends and possible boyfriend Brian, before meeting back up with them.

Diane: So you better get Brian to bring you home right after dinner, cause Dad wants us to stay at the Holiday Inn on I-74.

Dana: Oh, yeah. I remember that place.

Dana says this with a smirk of remembrance and her mom immediately ask “What?”, causing her daughter to nevermind the followup, kissing her mom and saying she’ll see them tonight. Yes it implies the daughter has gone there to do things she isn’t allowed at home to do with certain other parties, and I like it because she’s so nonchalant about it and her mom is clueless, it’s just fun.  Which we need considering how dark it’s about to get, and as I shall share, how much darker it would’ve gotten.

Much like my love of ALIEN, it extends to this film and I enjoy looking up every damn thing I can about this film because there’s purposely so little released on it that finding anything is a treasure unto itself.

As the kids go to bed, Diane is taking a much needed relaxing bath, with E. Buzz sitting outside on guard duty. Diane Dyes her hair and meanwhile across the hall. Robbie is attempting to sleep, but once more he is unable to. Because he hasn’t packed the damn evil clown doll, which hopefully meant he was going to leave it there for the next unfortunate family.

However Tobe Hooper is a dick, and he has use for this doll. As Robbie attempts to sleep we hear the gentle jingle of the clowns bell collar and the clown is no longer saw on its chair. Robbie is ready to crap himself. He slowly peaks under his bed, but thankfully there’s nothing. Because the clown is already on the bed sitting beside him. The clowns face is made to look incredibly and suddenly evil. Its arm wraps around robbies neck, laughing demonically and rolls off the bed taking him with it and wrapping itself around the boy. Carol Ann is beginning to wake hearing her brothers struggle. Robbie is tired of this bullshit clowns existence and he tops the clown. Punching repeatedly at it and ripping its insides out, tossing cotton into the sky like a deranged lunatic as he joyfully tares out the clown dolls insides screaming “I hate you! I hate you!”, unbeknownst to Robbie, the closet door has begun to glow, and all along its frame small red tentacles are forming. Carol Anne stares at this door and the brightly glowing light behind it and sadly, quietly says “Not again.”

Meanwhile, Diane is blow drying her hair, sat on the bed in her night shirt and panties. As she finishes she decides to lay back on the bed, and. It’s implied. She plans to indulge in some ‘alone time’ if you know what I mean.

Now. If you have this film in 4k, even just blu ray. You need to pause the film. NOT on her panties you pervs. But on something genuinely creepy, and purposely done in the film, though its focus was cut.

Before she blow dries her hair and she sits on the bed, you can see on her nightstand a few photos. There is a picture of her husband Steven smiling at the camera, a photo of herself looking at the camera, and a photo of Carol Anne.

Now…if you pause again, just before Diane is going to lay down, when the film cuts back to her? The photos have changed…

The pictures are darker. Steven and Diane are looking away from the camera now, and the photo of Carol Anne is replaced with a much darker ghostly image, almost looking demonic.

It’s a very subtle change and was meant for a scare in the film but it wasn’t filmed and. The fact its there? Is all the more creepy. Especially once you’ve noticed it and zoomed in on it. Pre nightmare fuel.

As Diane lays back on the bed and relaxes. She hears her kids cry out. She opens her eyes and suddenly, unseen hands are assaulting her. Lifting her shirt exposing her panties. Flipping and dragging her body along the bed up the wall and ceiling. Now. It is ‘implied’ from their assault on her that, it could be somewhat sexual in nature given the exposure of her and some of her hip thrusts.

Was it intentional? Well….yes.

Originally, there was going to absolutely be something there not of this world. They had planned a sort of dark wet spot to form on the floor/wall, and it would grow becoming more obvious later in the shot. This also would tie in with the changed haunting photos on the night stand. Eventually a sort of oil slick type thing would evolve from the stain and with it tentacles. Diane would get assaulted by the unseen hands and end up rolling into this tentacle thing. The original idea and plan, which they made a special harness and rig for. Was to show and have Diane ‘violated’ and raped by this other worldly being. There wouldn’t have been any nudity that I am aware of. But from interviews done with the effects crew involved. They said the scene in its entirety, including the violation scene, would’ve rivaled the most shocking scene from The Entity where you see a fully naked woman being raped and strangled by unseen figures.

Only this time with a tentacle beast and unseen hands.

They cut the sequence out because that would’ve stripped the film of its pg status and given them a very VERY hard R rating. R rating would kill the audience admission and theaters that would show the film so. The scene was scraped and thank Xenu for that.

Seriously, imagine how different the film would’ve been had they just gone fully Tobe Hooper unhinged and didn’t hold back the scares. This thing would’ve been pants pissing scary as hell.

So they incredibly toned it down and instead We see Diane tossed around the room and finally being dropped.

Leading to somehow just as creepy shit as she runs to the door of her kids room and gets blasted back as a large imposing beast shows itself and growls out at her. Protecting the rooms door, throwing her down the stairs. She gets back up and runs up the stairs, only to get zapped again! And thrown back. Diane with little choice runs out the house in the rain and tries screaming out at her neighbors for help. But no one is answering. She stumbles around and tries running back to the house, left with little choice but to face the terror herself.

As she does though. She slips on the muddy side of the pool and down she goes into the murky muddy water. Oh yes, this is the other famous scene of creepiness. As Diane floats in the muddle pool and turns to leave. She’s greated by floating corpses. Remember Mr. Teague and his talk about the cemetery? Yeah…yeah.

Diane is under assault my decayed corpses and skeletons flooding the pool. But none of them are actually attacking. Though for sure the scariest moment is her attempt to escape, only to have a coffin shoot up from the mud, and open revealing a body that collapses on top of her. To make it worse she manages to free herself. Only to slip and slide slowly back down to a waiting pull of corpses. Which that alone is enough nightmare fuel for anyone. Remember I saw this shit as a kid, I was 2 when it game out and I believe 7 or 8 when I saw it.

God I loved the 80’s.

Diane is losing her mind and trying desperately to escape the corpse pool, absolutely assuring no house they have again will ever have a pool of any kind. As she seems about to slip and lose herself again. She is saved! Praise be to their neighbor Ben Tuthill and his wife Mrs Tuthill(Virginia Kiser) They spot the corpses in the pool and freak out. They see lights flashing from the childrens bedroom and hear them screaming, Mrs Tuthill ask what’s happening why her children would scream like that. Diane is out of fucks to give and has no time to explain. She begs the couple to come help her please, her children are in danger. She grabs Ben Tuthill’s hand and drags him along with her. He’s all for it, until his wife grabs his free hand and screams at him not to go in there. She’s afraid for her husband and has no idea whats waiting there for him. So Diane is left hysterically screaming at the couple to help her as she runs back once more into the house.

She see’s the stairs that shocked her and she says Fuck you! You curvy bastards! And she bolts up the stairs. Now she faces the worst image and the reason why we run through hotel hallways. We watch as she stairs at the hallway and her children’s door, and we watch as the hallway suddenly extends and grows horrifically longer. With that she begins limping along and with the power of Sonic the Hedgehog she goes off into one pissed off mama’s sprint and bust open the door to save her babies.

Only to find the closet is now missing, and in its place is an unholy looking organic growling tunnel of flesh, with tentacles wrapped around the door and reaching out for the children. Again tentacles, like what would’ve appeared in the rape scene, were a big part of the later half of the film. But were trimmed down dramatically even with the removal of the rape scene, and in the second film the tentacle theme was more prominent as well. Kind of interesting and would’ve explained why suddenly tentacles.

Oh that’s right kids in mortal danger.

So Diane is lifted off her feet, her children are holding onto their bed frame as the large orifice is sucking in everything in the room toward it. Diane screams for her son to give her his hand and to grab Carol Anne. She’s going to save her babies, “God, help me!” she screams out and with all the force of will and strength a mother can muster, she pulls her babies to safety out of the room from hell.

Outside the house, Steven is driving up, being driven home by his former boss. As they arrive, the Freeling home has become a variable light show. The lights are flashing with bright lights in every window. The outside lights bursting. Ground exploding spitting out coffins. Mom and the kids race through the house with E. Bud as more coffins pop out from the kitchen and hallways.

Meanwhile a horrified Mr. Teague looks on at the horror unfolding. And a horrible truth is revealed. Teague was a cheap prick. He paid to move the head stones, but never moved the bodies. It saved him money sure. But he could’ve save more by switching to Geico.

Steven loads up his family into the car, E. Buzz is safe as well don’t worry, and one of the best laughs I give this movie each time is ready to greet us. As Brian drives Dana home, she gets out of the car and watches as her home is being turned into a horrific display and bodies pop out of the ground. “WHAT’S HAPPENING?!” She keeps screaming this even as the Freeling’s car pulls up next to her and they scream for her to get in the car. Robbie is DONE with this shit, for the rest of his life. The moment his big sister doesn’t respond to the dad screaming to get in the car he screams back at the dad, “Just go! Leave her lets go!”

I love the little shit, and its funny given the absolute relentless hell that was just played out over the last 15 minutes for us. But Dana does get in the car and off she goes with her family. Having made it to the Motel, Hotel, Holday Inn.

Say it with me now

Mo-tel Ho-tel Holday Iiiiiinn

…….

The freeling family somberly walks to their room, not one word will be said the entire night and god help whoever makes the complaint about sharing a bed together. And as they shut the door. Its thrown open suddenly, and we get our last laugh of the film. As Dad wheels out of the room with an authoritative thud, the tv from their room. Staring at it and walking back into the room, closing the door, and ending our film.

The End.

Now, again. I love this movie. Love, love, love this film. It was a huge part of my child hood and it still to this day remains what I will always classify as the best and possibly only family horror film. I’ve said before how my dad refused for the longest time to watch horror movies because gore really got to him and he had a weak stomach. But this movie, even with the face ripping and other horrors, he always enjoyed, a lot. Same with my mom and her sisters. My cousins. Me and my sister, our friends. Aunts and Uncles.

Seriously everyone in our family had seen and loved it. Which unfortunately is one of the major factors that fed into the whole debate over whether Toby Hooper directed the film, or Steven Spielberg took over when they felt Tobe couldn’t.

I’ve talked at length about that whole story before so the short version without all the details is simply that, to the point I made on families enjoying it. This was a pg horror film, made by the man notorious for having made The Chainsaw Massacre. A film that at the time earned the title of the most disturbing and bloodiest film ever made. The film used nearly 8 ounces of total blood, and there was more left to the imagination versus actual gore. But it earned him that reputation. Just as Spielberg earned his reputation for perfectly capturing families on film and making engaging emotional films. So when a film about ghost comes out with Spielberg producing and writing, but Tobe Hooper directing? The idea of him making a family friendly anything was very absurd to some people, Spielberg didn’t hate Hooper, they got along well.

Steven had really wanted to do a ghost story for the longest time, so he talked to Tobe about it, because of union regulations Steven couldn’t direct the film as he was tied to another project. He could however produce the film and work in it through that. But he could NOT direct the film. And as even he has said to people in regards to this. The film had a director, and their name is still on the credits and poster as to who that director was. It’s just sad that Tobe got burned by Hollywood.

Even more so is the tragic that fell on some of the cast members after the films release, especially the unfortunate murder of Dominique Dunne, No one really wants to talk that much about the film and because of these things, and the stories over the years about who did what and how upset a lot of people got. There has yet to be an actual making of and extensive documentary on the film.

Which is hugely unfortunate, and why websites run by fans of the film are so important in uncovering more stories and photos from the film. It’s the closest we’ll get to finding out more about a film that really has a lot of stories left in it.

Sure the sequel fell short of the original because of its lackluster ending when they ran out of budget. It’s still a good film and I believe it holds up as a faithful continuation of the original. But it doesn’t really get a lot of love, and it too also suffered its own tragedies.

But still I love this film and always will. It’s an amazingly well shot film that carries a very Spielbergian feeling to it and if you watch Tobe’s other films, absolutely his hand print is on this film.

The real love though and again why it is here, is in its very sought after, and highly rare score.

The Music

Jerry Goldsmith, the man nailed down something you’d almost expect from John Williams, I would actually liked to have heard Williams take on this films score honestly. But, and I mean this as a sincere compliment. The score, the tone and feel of it. It’s entirely something that sounds like it could be Williams work, but is outside of his reach and hauntingly poetic.

The entire score is so haunting and beautiful. It really does read like poetry. Its music is worded so chillingly at first, then slips into a gentle calm that draws you into a dream land and carries you across.

Any time I hear the track “The Neighborhood” I think of Poltergeist and. Well. My family.

The track is somehow the most perfect theme to what you’d expect of suburban life. Much like people in my parents era growing up and whistling the Andy Griffin theme in small towns, or hearing Leave it to Beaver. Its what would pop in your head back then. Now? It’s Poltergeist. It’s just. Beautiful. Simply.

The theme from the very first track carries through most of the films score, changing its tone from calm and sweet. Innocent and fun, to dark and foreboding. Terrifying and unforgiving.  A great example of this is the track “The Tree”, you have Carol Anne’s theme playing through in a gentle breeze, carried through with the serenity of the house and yard, the family gathered together, then it introduces the possible wickedness lurking beneath the house. The tree, whats wrapped around and through its roots underneath. It’s like glancing over a farm and spotting the head of a snake, instantly worrying you until you realize its just ‘a head’ and not a live thing, then suddenly your calm and things are back to normal. That’s how the track plays out and it’s how the movie plays throughout.

It's another testament to the work this man could put into a score when he finds the heart of it, and just as Tanjina said of the house this album too, has many hearts.

He created a world and lore with Alien and he did the same with Poltergeist. It’s very operatic when the horror pops in and carries a grand theme, weight behind it that swirls and thumps deeply throughout. You can hear evils march through it, and its very much nearly a similar sound as John Williams just. Again, purely something only Jerry could bring.

If you want a real treat for your ears, and especially if you are a fan of the sequel. There is a track on their called “Twisted Abduction”, it’s played during the tree attack on Robbie and Carol Ann’s being taken. The track somewhere within the first minute or so of it. Finds that evil march I mentioned and its something Jerry would tap into a lot more in his followup score with Poltergeist 2’s soundtrack. Its like an early introduction to the evil that was renamed Cane later in the film series in both part 2 and 3.

It's a cool track to listen to regardless, but when you can tie it in with the sound of the sequel that would come out 4 years later. Being able to tie in the original films score in a familiar but entirely new way and new score. It’s amazing work on his part and makes for a good double feature for your ears.

If you love long endless tracks like inagadadavida which goes on for 21-24minutes. “Let’s Get her-Rebirth” is nearly 17 minutes of story and bliss. It’s played through the entire speech Tangina gives explaining the afterlife and what they’re going up against, and follows directly into the montage before the battle, straight on through the appearance of the beast and return of Carol Anne and Diane.

You could listen to that track alone, play just that alone, and deliver the entire movie.

I’d be sorely tempted to say, or dare you. To write out a summary of the film and detail of the final battle to clean the house and reclaim their child, and this track would work as a background score to tell that story. It’s just that well constructed and put together. It hits all the notes it needed to, to get its story across. The gentle calm before the storm. The talk of evil and what awaits, holding their child and using it to control others. To the readying for battle and eventual fight for her soul. It’s just film magic man. It’s beautiful.

Is it my favorite track? Absolutely yet, it’s lengthy as hell but its an audio adventure film that you can see play out in your head. Those are the best kind of scores to me and this nails it flawlessly.

Absolutely flawlessly.

Now if you want to talk super creepy and good? A close runner up, then you have to go with the end credits. Not only does it touch gently on the films story through samples of the films score, and more gentler takes of Carol Annes theme and the family. But it has the damn audacity to end it with creepy ass childrens laughter.

It is the creepiest weirdest thing to hear on that soundtrack and I don’t know why it hits as being so creepy. But it really, really plays off that way. Like you were listening in on a concert performed by the dead, only to see them vanish at the end and hear gentle laughter as they vanish. It’s just creepy.

But still so damn good.

There’s no score like it, and I’ve yet to hear one ever come close to matching it. The remake of Poltergeist and its music were largely forgettable and lacked soul. This movie captured ‘family’ and the heart of that family, along with the evil they had been forced to face. It’s unmatched and absolutely could never be anywhere on any list of mine other than where it is. If not for the top film, it would hold that spot and damn near did.

Getting ahold of this score is a challenge, unless you pay a hell of a lot. Even in CD form it was last I checked rather outrageous. But if you can find it. Please, please do. It’s beautiful and the complete soundtrack is absolutely worth every penny. Unless those pennies are in the triple digit range and above.

But yes. Watch it again, introduce friends and others to it. Listen to the music and enjoy what I genuinely do consider and stand by as one of the best soundtracks for a film of all time, and best Spielberg film not made by Spielberg. In the same way Midnight Mass is the best Stephen King story never written by Stephen King.

Until tomorrow when we conclude our 31 days of horror scores, Don’t date girls in their 20’s that make a point to look like Zelda Rubinstein. Also ask for a Carfax history on your house to make sure it isn’t built on ancient tribal burial ground or a former graveyard. You’ll live a lot happier if you do. And longer.