SCORETOBER!!!! Day 29 JAWS!!!

Day 29

JAWS

It was bound to happen, and you all know it!

Of course this film made it to my list.

Honestly these final three films have been a huge struggle. They’re all great films and I’ve debated every damn day with the second and 3rd films. Even the first.

I actually was set and ready to review the first choice I had for third, then I heard the music and was instantly reminded why it needs to remain number one, and why this one is where it is compared to the second film. Which you’ll understand soon enough.

It also was somewhat difficult because I had been avoiding this movie. It’s still something I absolutely love and is a film that really effected me a lot as a kid growing up, it also got me wanting to be an oceanographer when I was young.  I bought every damn shark book I could, I’d never go swimming at the beach, I still wont. But I will snorkel and scuba dive. Because at least clear water gives you a CHANCE to see what the hell could come for you.

Hell the movie even helped inspire me with my anthology of stories The Deep Sea, BECAUSE it scares the jello out of me whats lurking in the water we can’t see.

But no, we’ll get into why I’d been avoiding it toward the end of the review. That way we’re all entering into this sober, uplifted and ready for good times.

With that, lets get into one of the best mistakes caught on film. I don’t mean making this film was a mistake. I DO however mean that, when a young ambitious director says ‘I wanna make a movie about a shark, let’s film it on the ocean’, and you learn a very expensive but in the end successful lesson as to why you DON’T film on the ocean.

So with that in mind…

The Movie.

What better way to begin a movie than with hippies on a beach. A beach fire, with beer, babes and bud.

Don’t worry, I felt old just saying that.

I know I’m not cool! Damn kids. But yes, t’was an age old tradition growing up near the beach that indeed teens and twenty somethings would hang out at the beach with a bonfire, have a few drinks, bring some single friends, put five on a twenty sack and have yourself a party.

This however was also a time of bad ideas and the power to act on them with little care for consequences!

For instance?

Drinking most the night by a warm fire, making cute faces at someone playing flirty flirty? That’s a fine idea, THAT’S the idea and WHY your parents tell you to go out and live outside your bedroom. So it’s fine playing flirty face with someone at a beach bonfire. It’s even fine doing drunk flirty face at a party.

But the very moment. You take drunk flirty face fun, and turn it into Catch me if you can? Well that’s still fine. Just be ready for dizziness, collapsing and possibly vomiting and hoping she still thinks your cute, also good luck making out later.

No. The actual moment drunken flirty face fun catch me if you can, becomes a bad idea? Is the moment you decide to go swimming. In the ocean. True though it may be that doing so in the very early hours of the morning will wake you the hell up as it is not just freezing ass cold water, its cold enough to pack your dick and balls up inside your body and realize that wearing a speedo isn’t so horribly uncomfortable any longer.

Drunk people drown is the point I’m making here people! If you want a fun shock to your system and good dating advice? Date someone with both a pool and a hot tub. Spend an hour in the hot tub getting close and flirty, THEN go from there into the swimming cool. It’s a fun sensation, and far safer than drinking on the beach playing flirty face catch me if you can lets go swimming.

I’m trying to help you live longer, and date smarter. Which won’t be the case with two people playing flirty face at this party. Which is sad because they’re cute. It could’ve worked out.

So we watch our two friendly hippie faces flirt and drink, enjoying their bonfire and friends, but yes. It’s time for catch me if you can down the beach. How do you get someone to play catch me if you can away from a bonfire? By stripping!

Yes, we are simple creatures, and the prospect of nudity is alluring enough if you started stripping near a volcano with signs pointing to death and a cannibal village, we’d ignore it. Most of us would.

Anyway.

Our beach bro is a little too intoxicated and does his best to keep up with the lady. Which is a lesson in life for many of us I feel. He’s even asking her to slow down so he can catch up! He didn’t plan on catch me if you can! But no go pal. She’s all in on the chase game, and she wants to go swimming. Which he even admits he can’t go swimming, let alone running. But damnit the man is going to try!

Even as our beach girl Chrissie(Susan Backlinie) strips down to the bare essentials hoping to entice her would be mate, Tom Cassidy(Jonathan Filley) having taken in the sight of the glorious back dunes of the holy temple of blonde. He is struggling with his clothes, the booze, the bud, and the overwhelming desire to say, hey. Be happy we saw butt and lets just pass out with that in our heads.

Which he can indeed still count as a win for the night. But not Chrissie! He might’ve given up on joining her in both nudity and the water. But she’s all in. Going for broke. She’s going to get her swim on, clean the stink of the fire pit off her and return to the passed out beach boy for a second chance possibly.

I feel sorry for both of them. Even the shark does.

Oh that’s right. There’s a shark in this.

Our shark. The movie shark. His name is Bruce.

So Bruce is chilling in the ocean, living his best Christian life. The only booze in his life are the boos from the haters, the closest to weed he gets is seaweed, and the only babes he enjoys are babes of the seals.

He knows it is far too early in the morning for this lady to be swimming alone, and she needs a suit before someone sees her in all her natural glory. So Bruce decides to introduce himself, that way they are no longer strangers. Of course he averts his eyes, because thanks to the power of 4k we. Well. We can see a lot of Chrissie. A lot. But Bruce isn’t looking. The only lady he looks at is his wife Lucy, mother of his son Derrick.

Bruce’s attempt at greeting her is not going well. Sharks greet by friendly nips to the fin. So in her case it’s a nip to her leg. He tries again and Chrissie is now in a full blown panic. Bruce is scared and unsure how to react to this. So he decides to tell the young lady to please calm down, she’s getting disorientated and he will help guide her back to safety, just like a Killer Whale would. The saviors of the sea.

So Bruce grabs onto her from under the water and thrashes toward the beach. But Bruce wonders if it might be best actually to bring her to a nearby Buoy. So he shifts direction, Chrissie is not relaxed. She is screaming and blood is beginning to cloud the water. Bruce panics himself. Now the lady he’s trying to help is bleeding so obviously medical attention is needed. So he thrashes back toward the beach which causes Chrissie to complain even more. So he decides to let her have a moment to catch her breath and grab onto the buoy. She was screaming about something burning. So he imagined the cuts she suddenly got from his razor sharp devouring teeth might be reacting to the salt water. So he gives her a few moments to relax and try to collect herself. But he knows a good Samaritan never gives up. So he reassures Chrissie they will make it to safety. He grips her one more time and gives it his best!

Only to end up taring into Chrissies intestines, and accidentally slicing her leg off with his powerful jaws. Bruce is now a murderer. How can he ever explain this to his wife Lucy, or his son Derrick? He’s a wanted man now. Bruce begins to cry, and that means he begins to eat. Bruce eats when he’s sad. And unfortunately the only meat nearby is the body of Chrissie. So he apologizes to her while eating her.

Yes. This is where we’re going in this review. Because I already reviewed this movie with its sequel 2 years ago and I want to make it interesting for myself OKAY?!! So deal with Bruce the Christian shark.

As Chrissie is devoured by a sad shark now facing life on the run, Cassidy is happily passed out safely on the beach and lives to party another day.

For now…

Speaking of partying, we’re about to meet the party animal himself, the man of the hour, and a great sheriff in a small town, Sir Brody the Sheriff as played by Roy Scheider. He’s a fun character and vastly different in the film in comparison to the book. As is his lovely also equally amazing wife Ellen Brody(Lorraine Gary).

In the book Sheriff Brody is a bit of a drunk, who lives to mostly disappoint his wife, who isn’t all pleased with their moving to Amity Island. In fact in the book she actually commits a bit of adultery and it ends in a fun way. Kind of. We’ll get into that. Don’t you worry. My head is an aquarium of random Jaws facts and insight. Which I will try to bring up as I can.

But for now. Let’s focus on a good man waking up to do good in a small town, away from the big apple of crime, chatting with his beautiful wife as he readies to tackle the day and they charmingly joke about islander accents and how he still even when trying to sound like one sounds even more like a true blue New Yorker.

Those people, are a species unto there own, and no one can tell me any different after being around them working at a baseball field.

Moving along. Brody is ready to tackle the day. Until his eldest son comes in through the door screaming about vampires! If there’s one thing no islander on Amity can stand its damn vampires! He races over to his beloved child investigating his neck for puncture wounds. He yells out for Ellen to grab a cross and push it to his forehead to see if he’s been infected yet or if there’s still time to save him before he becomes one of the damned.

But his son apparently thought joking about legitimate blood sucking fang bangers was a good laugh, when all he did was cut himself on the rusted swing set outside the front yard. Immediately Brody is on his ass and screaming about the vampire pandemic they went through in New York and how it nearly wiped out the city while they hunted for ‘The Master’, and reminds me about the kids who lost their lives in Salem’s Lot by opening their bedroom windows to floating dead friends. His son Michael Brody(Chris Rebello) begins crying like a faucet set to dribble and Ellen stares at her child both in scorn and love, knowing she must love him, even if he has no idea the horrors they endured fighting the undead.

Or you know, the kid just ran in grinning saying “Mom, dad I got bit by a vampire” and showed off his hand, worrying his mom he could need a tetanus shot. Pick your own adventure pal.

With the struggle of daily life behind him and already invisioning his first drink of the day waiting at his office. Brody drives off, starting his day with a missing persons case. It seems Cassidy was a good guy and reported Chrissie missing. Good on him.

He accompanies Brody along the Beach as they talk and his officers comb the beach, discussing island life, the party and his battle with whiskey dick when Chrissie wanted to go swimming instead of cuddling. But things take a sudden and nasty turn as one of Brody’s men makes a discovery behind a sand dune covers in sea grass and the shade. As the two rush over quickly to discover his find, they are greeted to the remains and now crab feast that is Chrissie. You don’t see much of anything, but the fact you have little sea crustaceans climbing over her fingers, you can imagine what the rest looks like given the reaction of the deputy who looks like he’s about ready to lose is cup o noodle soup.

I honestly have to give a shout out to Jonathan Filley. His part isn’t really that big in the film, and this is essentially his end of the story. But when you see him sitting in the sheriff’s office once they move there from the beach. The look on his face is great. The guy is traumatized by what he saw and we still hadn’t. He’s seen one of the truly most disturbing sights for us, that a lot of people don’t take into account as we see ourself so often as the alpha species. But seeing pictures of mauled and half eaten bodies. It hits you a certain way. It’s more grizzly than a serial killer, and seeing another human looking like something half chewed on, like someone only able to finish half a chicken. Well yeah. Let that perspective sit and simmer.

He really sells it and I love seeing it even just as the camera is panning and following Brody to his desk while hearing about the case files that await his day from Polly(Peggy Scott),

And bless Polly for giving us a word that isn’t used nearly enough as it should be by MMA announcers. She’s informing Chief Brody about the multiple calls they’ve been getting about the towns karate school and how it seems a bunch of nine year olds have been “Karate-ing the picket fences!”

Seriously having MMA fighters techniques described as that?, “Oh my! Connor McGregor was just taken down to the after taking heavy…karate-ing to the face AND his stone like testicles! Oh that looks bad!”

ANY-WAY

Brody is on the phone with the coroner who’s had time to look over the remains of Chrissie and while multi-tasking like a champ. Chief Brody is able to finalize his report on the incident and labels the official cause of death SHARK ATTACK. With that, he begins doing what the people pay him the big bucks for. Drinking heavily, using his revolver to rub his forehead and closing down the beach!

Yes the main character is doing the right thing. He saw the mutilated remains of a woman killed by a shark and is shutting down the beaches in an attempt to curb further murders. But no. That’d mean the end of our movie. I’ll admit an embarrassing fact that only happens when you’re a kid, and I was a kid so bite me. But as Brody marches out of his office and down the street, gathering supplies for his soon to be made by Polly BEACH CLOSED NO SWIMMING. BY ORDER OF THE AMITY PD signs, because her printing is vastly better than his weak stomached deputy Hendricks(Jeffrey Kramer) During the scene there is a kids marching band playing marching music which we see later on in the street. Being a kid watching this I chuckled and my dad asked what was so funny, I told him it was the fact they were playing army marching music while Brody was doing sheriff stuff.

YES I AM AWARE THE MARCHING BAND!! I was a kid damnit.

So off goes Brody on a mission. He’s going to make sure the clear the beaches, there’s a group of scouts out in the water, swimming for a merit badge, so he wants to make sure he can save them before they end up on milk cartons and lunch for a shark.

Well as he patiently waits for a very small fairy boat to fairy him across the way, we finally see the chief looking a little taken back and uneased. That’s because Chief’s a bit afraid of the water. More specifically drowning. So even being on a safe fairy with cars, he still feels unease at the water. Joining him on this ride just so happens to be three important figures. Who were suddenly and quickly assembled by one of the important figures. When that one important figure ran into Hendricks who told them about Brody’s plan to close the beaches.

That important man is not only the twice elected mayor of Amity Island, BUT!! But he was also the head church cheese in The Amityville Horror, the man himself and lord of bad decisions, Murray Hamilton, as Mayor Larry Vaughn. The man is a fun actor and I loved him on Columbo, but then again who doesn’t love Columbo.

Well with him is the medical examiner(Robert Nevin) and a man named Meadows(Carl Gottlieb) Who is this Meadows? Their official position? They have none. He was inserted into the scene and helped feed dialog into this scene. They had trouble filming it with the script as it was so, they tossed in one of the script writers and he improved the scene, which is his specialty as the man was an improve comedy guy and wrote for comedy shows doing skits and the like. He also was a writer for the Ringo Star movie I loved as a kid Caveman. But more importantly, his biggest claim to fame with this film, is his credit for having come up with(supposedly) one of the films more memorable scenes. Which we will get to eventually.

As for now. Brody is being beach blocked by the mayor, Meadows and the medical examiner. They inform Brody he can’t close the beaches on his own authority. He needs approval and an official meeting before doing so. Brody isn’t buying this, But the mayor has the support of the medical examiner who is willing to go on record as saying Chrissie died by a boating accident and not shark attack, claiming he may have been to quick to reach his initial conclusion. Meadows is backing the mayor by offering his own half concocted examples of how improbable things could happen versus the obvious shark attack. And an oddly shark shaped man in a trench coat with a hat and fake mustache named Bruce agrees with the mayor about not closing down the beaches. Offering the suggestion that maybe the lady was killed by a maniac fisherman, not an innocent vegan shark. The mayor nods to the shark shaped man in the wet trench coat and Chief Brody is put into place, unable to close the beaches like he wants, now having to change his report because the medical examiner was bought off, and having to give up his hope of yelling at kids to get out of the water. But the shark shaped man promises Brody he will talk to the kids himself. As he dives back into the water.

So poor Brody is discovering two things. Small town politics, and summer town survival. We live not far from a town that lives and breathes entirely on its summer, and my former boss opened a restaurant out in that town. He made more money with that place than he did with his first place. As it opened during the summer, after summer passed? The town goes quiet and people go about normal day life. His restaurant turned from a gold mine to a ghost town. He closed down. Why? Because he didn’t save his summer dollars, he spent it all figuring he found the secret to success.

Amity is an island that people venture to in the summer months to enjoy the towns beaches, much like the residents there. The businesses pack it in during certain times of the year, and summer is when everything comes alive. So you close down the beaches on a place like this? Your cutting the life vein on a lot of businesses.

Unfortunately allowing a killer shark to setup shop and chomp away at people is also a good way to ensure your town closes down so. They’re kinda screwed. But the Mayor doesn’t want to admit to it just yet. Not until it becomes a problem that swims up and bites him in the ass.

As for the medical examiner, that doesn’t make any sense. Unless he owns steak somewhere in the town in a couple of businesses he doesn’t want to talk about, or the mayor and him are in some back room deals dipping into the town treasury. That’s the only thing that makes sense. Otherwise why would you risk your position fixing medical reports to read more favorably what the mayor wants?

UNLESS the mayor has dirt on the medical examiner, and that’s what keeps him in line to do what the mayor wants. Small towns have big dark scary closest where everyone stores their closets. Its possible.

Those people know how to open their mouth about gossip on everyone, but they also know how to keep a secret as deep as the ocean.

So with no beaches closed and Brody told to keep to his lane. Things are allowed to continue on as normal.

Which means fun in the sun baby! Yeah! We got people enjoying the beach, lovers smooching in the water hiding awkward boners from the giggles of others, old people can enjoy the sun and some light exorcise while the smarter people, like Brody, sit on the beach, drinking and staying the hell away from the water. We got a man playing fetch with a happy beach Doggo named Tippet. And trust me this is one happy pupper on the beach.

Everyone is enjoying being alive and swimming happily. Brody however is not. He’s watching the water like a hawk and any scream, any playful shout. Is a triggering alarm and he’s ready to fire off a few rounds the moment he hears a cry for help. Thankfully for those having fun and being startled by their girlfriends grabbing their junk under water, no one gets shot. Yet.

Yet.

This is one of my favorite scenes in the film, and also a famous scene for having given us a production company many of you will be familiar with. As Brody is trying to enjoy himself, an old man comes over out from the water and decides to towel off while facing him, smirking and finding it a good time to dig at Brody, chuckling about how the whole town knows all about him. How he’s afraid of the water and won’t go in it. If not for the 6 tall boy cans of Coors, and a few stomach pounders Brody would let it slide. But the beer talks and he gives us the name of a famous production company with a fun line delivered to the old man in his old fashioned swim cap “That’s some bad hat Harry”, the old man feeling properly offended as the hat his father gave him, who got it from his fathers father, and his father before him is insulted and with it his pride dies a little inside. Ellen Brody watching this decides to try getting her husband to unclench his puckered rear and relax. Brody tries but he’s already preparing another deep burn for Harry the next time he sees him.

Meanwhile a little boy named Alex Kintner negotiates with his mother about spending more time out in the ocean. She makes a fair point that his skin is beginning to prune and if you’ve ever experienced that, you know it can get nasty if the skin peels and breaks. But he begs her to let him swim a little longer on his yellow floaty and she agrees. Making him the happiest SOB on the beach, storming into the water and riding his floaty.

As he adventures out and enjoys himself. Bruce is out as well, enjoying himself, a bit happier that his accidental murder has been covered up as a boating accident and not his horribly failed attempt to return a drunk woman to shore. He’s happy to see all the humans enjoying the beach and sharing the ocean. It’s a wonderland of crustaceans singing under the sea and Bruce being happy to be a Pretty swell white shark. He’s far too humble to ever call himself a great white. Even if his wife Lucy assures him he’s the greatest great white out there.

So with his life looking like its on the up swing back to normal, no one asking questions about the murder. He’s ready to continue life under the sea and return to work as the plankton plant.

As Bruce hums and swims along, peering over the many different humans. He can’t help but notice Alex Kintner and the fact his hands and feet are pruning horribly. He knows it’s not his place to say anything. But he still feels compelled to swim up to the boy and try to return him to shore. Now sure the first time he attempted helping that girl in the early morning didn’t go so well. But she was drunk. It was an accident. This is a child. Much smaller and likely more easier to talk with and get him to understand he should get out of the water now, otherwise the sand will cut through his pruned skin and he’ll be walking on sore feet for a few days. So Bruce approaches young Alex and attempts to politely take hold of the yellow raft and swim the boy ashore. As any good Christian would.

However Bruce sometimes forgets he’s a three ton, twenty five foot shark, and his jaws have the biting force of 4,000 psi or 1.8 tons. So as he ‘gently’ attempts to bite the center mass of the raft. He begins to choke on the rubber material of the large raft. Each gag forced Bruce to try and spit out the material. Having no hands it means Bruce has to chomp on the material of the raft. However, it also means yes. Bruce is once again tasting blood and discovering to his horror that his act of charity to save the boy from pruning, has resulted in his pruning the boys limbs and taring his body to shreds. Bruce is once again in a state of shock. He’s murdered again and it can only get worse!

It's actually one of the more brutal and most realistic shark attacks on film. I love seeing it and wait for it when its coming. It’s just so visceral and sudden, The shark coming up directly under the boy and all we see from shore, if you look closely. Is the sharks head, then fin as it rolls and chomps on the raft and boy, you even see the kid kicking too during the attack. It’s just brutal and even though it’s a quick shot, I love it. It’s the beauty and destructive force that is a predator and we lose all advantage when we’re in their territory.

What we won’t talk about, because we didn’t see it happen…is how Bruce the shark tried playing fetch with Pipit the dog, and ended up eating the dog.

It’s another debate in the film actually. Which is kinda dumb. But hey, people will argue on the internet over anything. Including whether or not the shark did actually kill Pipit the black lab. It’s implied the dog met its demise while trying to retrieve the stick its owner threw in the water as we see him on the beach calling out for his pupper, and all we see is a stick floating that appears to be a bit more chewed up on. But this is how dog lovers be. If the animal didn’t die on screen. It’s still alive.

But it’s not. That dog is dead. It’s playing fetch in the sky now, in Valhalla.

As all dogs and cats end up there.

So now with Bruce having been caught in the act of actually having killed someone. The humans are angry and the mayor is forced to act. To make matters worse they are offering a personal $3000 bounty to the man or men who kill the shark. This of course can only go well. It forces the town into a meeting and everyone turns to the mayor, the chief of police, the medical examiner, the city council for answers.

Their answer? Let’s close the beaches for 24 hours. Which for the islanders will seem like ages. Apparently they value the freedom of swimming versus not getting attacked by a shark. It’s borked logic and people can be stupid. One dead body from a shark. It happens. Don’t punish us the people, let us take our chances. Another person dies, and suddenly people demand answers and want to know why they weren’t protected.

People man.

Well Brody is happy he gets to close the beaches down at least. Now knowing he doesn’t need to return his purchase of the sign post and paint. Polly is already feeling her arthritis acting up at the thought of painting all those signs.

However as the town debates whether closing the beaches is worth it or not, all for one shark, and others debate if the payment for the shark will be cash or check. One man, the manliest of men, the kind of man that eats lightning and craps thunder, sits idly in the back. Listening to these people piss and moan, before offering his own solution. We know this scene well, given the assumption you all have seen it before, if not well. We are meeting Quint played by the nearly immortal Robert Shaw. This is the second sea film I’d seen him in growing up, and I loved both, the other was a film called The Deep, another fun movie from the late 70’s.

Quint is not there to talk beaches or defend poor Bruce, he’s there to talk about hunting and killing that shark. Treating it like the serious matter it is, and not as some sort of game. He’s a serious fisherman, and he’s known for being a hard ass, a drunk, but also one of the toughest s.o.b.s on the water, going after big game fish and his fare share of sharks, so he knows what he’s talking about when he tells these people they can keep their great value shark hunt for $3,000, and when they are ready for the name brand deal? Come talk to him and bring ten thousand to the table. No one really knows what to say about that, and it says something about the guy when he can get an entire room of arguing people to shut the hell up and stare in absolute silence.

He's a great character that thankfully had few scenes in the movie. He actually had a couple more they’d planned to use, but wisely they cut them out realizing he was best dealt with in small doses, like your drunk uncle that wears a camo jacket no matter what the weather and always sounds like he’s mumbling when talking about fishing and the war.

For the record I love my uncle on my moms side, even if his beer of choice is Milwaukee’s Best.

It’s worth noting, and because I think its funny. Robert Shaw based how he played Quint off one of the locals of Martha’s Vineyard where the film was shot. The man very much talked like Quint does in the film, and he’d rattle off long stories which, as it turns out were usually bullshit, which he KNEW were bullshit, but he loved telling just to have someone repeat and buy into it. Because of this it lead to a rather awkward interview Shaw did where he talked about Martha’s Vineyard residents frequently indulging in incest. The man wasn’t ALWAYS full of bullshit but he did make you question how you were living life. The man would regularly set his two cows loose on the town, full well knowing they’d only ever respond to him, he road a tricycle sometimes to get around and more times then not, he was walking barefoot everywhere he went. He also made and sold his own moonshine regularly too. I’m not just sharing this for the fun of it either, you actually get to see this man who could’ve easily played Quint as he really was the man himself, but instead? He got cast to play Ben Gardner, his name was Craig Kingsbury. Dude lived an interesting fun life and it’s worth a look into, trust me. I’m just giving highlights.

Anywhere where were we…

So as the town takes in the bounty being offered up, and the fact their beloved beaches will be closed for a full days 24 hours. It’s time to go nuts!

Starting with the simplest of nuts. Two towns men who decide they can get themselves three grand doing the laziest attempted shark fishing imaginable. They take a beautiful holiday roast from one mans freezer, immediately destroying his wife’s plan for a beautiful holiday meal, and dig a hook into it, attach an inflatable tire bladder to the chain as a bobber, and then tie off the chain to the pier, tossing out the roast and watching it and the inner tube float away with the roast.

Now…okay.

I know I shared my story about my adventure in stupidity involving a flatbed truck, a vintage fridge, and me full of bright ideas moving it off the flatbed with a dolly. So we won’t go there again. Instead we can look at this logically.

If you are sending out, a large hunk of meat, on a hook the size of your fist, on a chain that would drag you down with its weight into the water should you hold it and jump into a pool…then decide to use this, to ‘reel in’ a 3 ton, 25 foot shark.

How?....

These two men, are not Hercules. They have not gone through Spartan training, they aren’t tossing huge tires and pulling rope. They are tossing beers and eating canned cheese. How they planned to bring in a fish that size, and that powerful with, their bare hands. I mean…………….you know what? Bless their hearts.

Do they get a bite from the shark? Yes. Bruce saw a chunk of floating meat, figured it was dark and no one would see him so he ate it. Only to realize it had a hook in there.

Do they catch the shark? Yes. The hook is in the sharks mouth. Bruce is fighting now to get it out and free himself.

Can they ‘reel’ in the shark? FUCK NO!! You go hook a chain to a truck and let it drift backward and see if you can stop it and pull it toward you without moving from your spot. Let me know how that works out for you.

It’s the very image of “This can only go horribly, badly, insanely wrong.”, and so it does. The shark yanks hard enough on the chair it tares apart the old raggedy pier and seperates one of the men from his friend. The man is forced to ride the broken pier until it stops and begins swimming for shore. While the man dog paddles back to what’s left of the pier. His friend is forced to watch as the severed part of the pier, with the chain that is hooked in the sharks mouth, horrifically begins to turn around and rush toward his friend in the water.

The man in the water is rightfully crying out and doing his best to get out of the water onto the slippery pier.

Bruce, even with the hook in his mouth, and his already sullied reputation as a murderer, Still tries to be a good shark and help the poor guy out of the water. He’s trying to race over but that pier he’s hauling behind him is a lot of weight. So fortunately the man makes it onto the pier himself, and doubly so on the good news side, Bruce has freed himself of the hook, and manages to swallow the large roast. Thanking the men and tonguing the wound left by the hook.

This is only the start of our madness that is Amity Island and what people will do to get their beaches re-opened. Also three grand. But mostly to have their beaches opened.

Remember mentioning Ben Gardner? Well here the man is in all his glory as he stand out overlooking the harbor and the madness awaiting him and everyone else there today. Chief Brody is not nearly drunk enough to handle this mess nor is he sane enough to deal with everyone. The harbor is full of both local islanders, and people from out of state that heard about the bounty. Assuming the family must’ve advertised it in every major published newspaper and magazine.

You have 8 men on boats made for 4, you have guys making their own chum, others loading up dynamite sticks, shotguns, rifles. You know, shark hunting gear.

It’s hysterical and insane. But these people want that money and they want those beaches so. Here we are.

Even Ben Gardner is headed out in this mess, but he’s being sane about it. Which is funny considering the whole, in an insane world a crazy man is sane. But best of luck to all of them, and god help who ever gets shot having their shark stolen from them.

In the midst of all this chaos we are about to meet our biggest help to the shark problem, Brodies soon to be best friend and one of the biggest character changes from the novel, straight from the oceanographic institute, Matt Hooper played by the one and only Richard Dreyfuss.

So, how was his character changed you ask? He was made likeable.

In the book Matt Hooper is a very cocky sure of himself rich good looking guy. He’s a bit of a snob and…Ellen Brody has the hots for him. She has him over at a party she throws, where her husband ends up causing a bit of a scene in her eyes and she gets pissed at him, but can’t stop thinking about Hooper so, she goes out to dinner with him and the two end up banging. He knows that’s Brody’s wife, she has a moment of hesitation. Having planned out the whole thing, but she says oh well yolo and goes through with it.

It gets funnier/worse later in the book to, we will get there, believe that.

With the arrival of a much friendlier less bang your wife Hooper, Chief Brody is immediately relieved and happy. He’s got someone on his side he asked for, is going to help him take this whole thing seriously, and he can’t wait to get working with the guy.

Well if he does get to work with him. At the rate every fisherman is going on that island out on the water. People driving boats like they’re in speed boats, shooting at the water and anything that resembles movement, dropping dynamite sticks. Throwing chum into the water. It’s going to be a mass graveyard of fish and possibly sharks.

Bruce wouldn’t know though. He’s dealing with the recent traumas in his life and the realization he is a wanted man. He still hasn’t told his wife, and he’d never dare disappoint their son. But its eating away at him. While flipping through the 4 underwater channels of their tv. He comes across live footage of mass crowds of fish and sharks fleeing the water as boats zoom over head. His wife swims over, “That’s so horrible, I hope no one gets seriously hurt, can you believe they think a shark killed those people?” Bruce gives a nervous chuckle and mumbles something about fake news and the liberal media.

But it appears perhaps the day is saved! For one lucky boat over filled with 8 crazy drunk ass fishermen has caught and killed a shark! A big one too. Everyone gathers in both celebration, awe and disappointment as those men already begin to realize they will have to split that three grand 8 ways, and thus begins the deadly game of “It was my boat I should get a bigger share”, “Well I’m the one that reeled him in, I should get the money”, “No look here, it was my idea I deserve a bigger cut” and before you know it people end up dead and the Coen brothers have another movie idea.

Well, as impressed as people are by this large shark catch, and they indeed are. Matt Hooper is not so impressed. Since his arrival on the island he’s gotten to work while the other residents lost their minds exploding fish. He went and looked over the remains of the first victim. He absolutely shredded the medical examiners ‘belief’ it was a boating accident, and declared Chrissie did indeed die from a shark attack. He measures the bite marks and takes notes in his trapper keeper. He takes those recorded numbers and compares them to the mouth of the shark that was caught and killed by those drunk 8 souls.

Well on the pluss side, those men caught and killed a known man eater, and an aggressive shark, a Tiger Shark. Which is admittedly rare for those waters, it’s not a common shark and they do tend to keep to certain areas. But, most importantly he notes that the sharks bite radius isn’t matching Chrissie’s body. So there’s always that possibility.

It could be the shark. It is known to attack people, it’s aggressive and it’s possible, but he wants to make sure, worse case scenario is there are two sharks feeding in the area and they’ve only caught the one that likely killed the boy  but not Chrissie, or best case, this shark just liked taking wide double bites. So hooper wants to conduct an autopsy of the shark. But the mayor says fuck that, fuck you and all you stand for. Which is political talk for ‘no, you may not do so in front of these people.’

It's a loss for team Brody, but a win for the town getting to reopen its beaches and watching 8 men fight each other for a piece of the three thousand dollar cash pyramid.

Speaking of entertaining beatings. Present for the display of the killer shark, and late for the group photo with the shark. Mrs. Kintner visits and is here to see Chief Brody. Upon meeting him she slaps him across the face before flipping him off and delivering a stone cold stunner! Cracking open two beers and pounding them back before walking off into the crowd shaking her head like necks never existed.

Actually no, unfortunately. But she does slap the taste out of his mouth, shocking Hooper, the mayor, Even Bruce who watches the poor shark they captured thinking it was him, it’s the towns greatest loss as Bruce begins a powerful rendition of “Who Am I?” from the musical of Les Miserables.

While Bruce reaches into his soul with the lyrics “If I speak, I am condemned, if I stay silent, I am damned! Can I condemn this shark to be a trophy, pretend I do not feel his agony, This innocent who wears my face, who goes to judgement in my place. Who am I?”, The town instead watches Mrs Kintner(Lee Fierro) as she lets loose an emotional barrage of hits to Brody, telling him she had heard about the girl who died on the beach, the first shark attack. “You knew then, and you did nothing.”, it’s a strong moment and Brody is stung by the truth. He tried to shut the beaches down but was overruled and because of it, her son died. The worst part is having to hear the mayor try and offer his sympathies to Brody, but he doesn’t care. She’s right and he feels horrible for even thinking for a moment of celebrating the capture of this shark.

With that, the fun is sucked out of the dock and everyone heads home.

Leading to Brody and a bottle of wine, well beer first. He’s had a day, a long one, and its time to kick back. However his youngest wants to give his dad some shit. He begins mocking his dad, mimicking drinking heavily, crossing his eyes and being a genuine little shit. It’s not at all cute or heart warming. Brody glares at his child and dares him to keep it up, the kid grins and pushes his luck even further. Challenging his old mans authority. But luckily Ellen is there to take the boy back to his room as he cries and Brody shouts about him being adopted.

Or you know, it’s a cute scene of the son mimicking his dads every move and it being heart warming, sweet and something that makes him smile after a rough day. Pick your own adventure. But eitherway, Mr. Hooper is coming over for dinner and Ellen is off the menu this time. So he’s eating Brody’s dinner of fried chicken. Which looks seriously delicious. He’s also brought over two bottles of wine to try and make a good impression. Which Brody gladly takes and begins filling three glasses. Two wine glasses, and a full size coke glass for himself. Ellen is curious about Hooper and wants to know a bit about the man her husband plans to run off with and spend the evening with. So we learn about his interest in sharks. Mainly how one destroyed his paddle boat when he was young and caught one by accident and ever since that, sharks have fascinated him. She finds him delightful and I still prefer this version of Ellen and Hooper versus the book. She really was a difficult character to get behind. Unless you were Hooper Ha HAAA! ZING!

Well Matt Hooper isn’t there for eating and drinking. Though he is eating and drinking like a raccoon outside a KFC. He informs Mrs. Brody of his and her husbands plans of getting drunk, exploring one another on a boat and also performing a half-assed autopsy on the tiger shark, Martin mumbles about why Hooper had to tell her that, but to both their shock Ellen looks to them both and ask why they would need to conduct an autopsy on the shark, she was under the impression it was the right one. Well Hooper and Brody sigh in relief and explain to her that Brody is the chief of police, he can do whatever he wants. With that the two men head over to the dock and begin cutting open a shark. In the middle of the night, drunk. It’s how you do a proper autopsy. It’s how I do them while playing Mortuaries Assistant at least.

So they cut open the shark with no ones authority but Brody’s own and sure enough. No child limbs, to half eaten blondes. Only fish, a can of beans, and a license plate. So we now have a sample of proof that indeed the shark is still out there.

Which would terrify Brody, if not for the fact Hooper has a scarier idea. He wants to take out his boat and go looking for the shark. He believes the shark is a night feeder like most, so they’d have a better shot at seeing it being more active at night, pluss your not going to find a shark on land.

It’s a fun scene and gives us the quotable line from Brody, “I’m not drunk enough to go out on a boat”, and Hooper without hesitation tosses back “Yes, you are.”

Brody is not happy with this, but he’s getting drunker so, he’s about 60-40 okay with it now. While the men drive out into the ocean searching for activity we learn that Matt Hooper is rich. Very rich, and his whole family is pretty well off in fact. His equipment is also paid for by the university but, the boat they are on at the moment? Is indeed his, as is the equipment. It impresses the hell out of Brody, and begs the question why didn’t he buy better wine?

As they wonder about, along the route between both bodies locations, they happen to finally catch sight of something. A big clue and one of the best last second additions to the film, and one that always, no matter how many times he’d seen it, always got my dad to jump out of his chair.

They’ve discovered Ben Gardner’s boat. But it looks like it’s been through hell and most of it is barely floating above water. Chunks of wood seem to be missing from the panels along its frame, as well as glass broken in the windows of the boat. Hooper is excited and gets into a wet suit, strapping on his oxygen tank and turning on a large pool of lights under water. Its actually very cool, and it freaks Brody the fuck out. He doesn’t understand why a man would want to get into the water with a killer shark, let alone why they can’t just tow the boat back to shore. I mean they could investigate it back there so, why not? Well Hooper wants to take a look himself before they do, and if the sharks already eaten then he won’t be at risk. So he dives on in.

As soon as he sees the boat from under the waters surface, a horror story begins to unfold. He discovers a large hole along the side of the boat, chunks of wood splintered from bites along its top side. He pulls out a knife and works a sharks tooth free from the wreckage. It’s huge and nearly fills his palm. He begins tugging on the boat and attempts to pull himself in closer to look inside the boat. But is stopped momentarily as he completes the amazing task of both shitting and pissing himself at the same time, as the severed one eyes head of Ben Gardner bobs out into view. He screams out and drops the shark tooth, his one solid piece of evidence as to the sharks identity. A win for Bruce, a loss for Hooper and his laundry.

Well now they have a new task. An impossible one.

They need to approach the mayor and convince him that the shark who killed the two people, is still alive.

They need to convince him of this, after having paid three grand to fishermen, had a picture taken for the towns paper and other tabloids declaring the shark responsible for killing two people has been caught and killed. That it was the wrong shark.

The only evidence they have, is the word of two hung over men, A chief of police who witnessed the autopsy and noticed there was no human remains, and the word of an out of towner oceanographer, who tells him he ‘saw’ the tooth of a great white, but lost it, and the evidence of Ben Gardners corpse as well as his chewed up boat.

You would imagine this would be enough to convince the mayor. I mean it should be a good start. The tooth would’ve absolutely solidified it. But as it stands. Its either the remains of the shark having attacked Ben Gardner during the chaos earlier, or it was a random encounter. Which yes would mean another killer shark. But as far as the mayor is concerned, this is it, it’s over with and no one is closing the beaches.

They are right at the 4th of July, their busiest day of the entire year. They WILL be open, the people WILL be there, and nothing is going to stop that. If Brody wants to feel safe and like he did something, he can set up watch towers and do anything else he feels necessary to keep things safe. But the beaches will be open.

It’s both frightening and fun watching this play out. It’s a large display of a typical summer outing at the beach. Large boats are ferrying people over and large groups of young, old, and fat happy Americans are out ready to spend cash and go swimming in the water. Or at least look at the water. People are a little skeptical. Which I can understand as my ass would never be in it. My parents would attest to this fact.

Hell, I had an ex try and get me to go in the water with her. Even just to my knees and I told her good luck with that. Even with the promises of certain favors we shall not discuss(for once), I politely declined. Sand sharks are a thing, and sharks have attacked people in shallow water, three feet deep and a shark can still swim up and bite you. I loved my ex, and I love sexy stuff. But I love having my legs and not being bitten by sharks more so. Good luck with that.

Something worthy of note in this scene, aside more of my dating history, is a local newscaster doing a story about how not so recently a shark had attacked the beach and set the town into a panic. The tv reporter is none other than the author of Jaws himself Peter Benchley. It’s a fun little cameo and it does help ease the author who may not always like your creative changes to his source material, by putting them in the film.

Well everyone seems to be enjoying themselves and the mayor is seeing dollar signs, but no one is going in the water. This isn’t good, it means they are still afraid and not enjoying themselves to the point of wanting to spend the entire weekend on the beach, spending their money on crap they don’t need. So he begs an older couple with their grandkids to go out into the water. These people could say no, they even try politely to do so. But the mayor must have dirt on them that could sink a town. Because these people are taking their kids and some floaties into the water. The look on their faces says it all and I love it. The kids are excited because they get to cool off and go swimming. But the grandparents are on edge and scanning the water, praying.

Little things like that in the movie sell it for me and the fact most of these people in the film are all locals to Martha’s Vineyard just adds to the realism of the place. It’s really great and something to appreciate honestly with how most films are made today.

But into the water these people go and with them, soon the rest follow. Sheeple am I right? Little kids, big kids, adults and teens, even Brody’s oldest is headed into the lagoon with his birthday gift, a little sailboat for him and his friends. Even as his little brother protest, wanting his brother to stay safe. They nevermind him and do as their dad told them, only taking the boat out into a small pond area for grandpas and old ladies. Because its safe and makes Brody feel safe.

Before you know it the water is full of not only swimming laughing kicking kids, but adults having full on conversations out in the water they could’ve had on land. People comparing each others floaties, boaters are out now, and everyone. Every last living soul. Now ready yourself for this. Every. Last. Person. In that water? Is pissing and shitting into it.

You know it, I know it. Some of you have likely done it.

That’s a topic for another day, who pisses in the ocean? Everybody. Prove me wrong.

Well it would appear things are back to normal. Somewhat. As for Brody? Oh he is not fuckin around this time. He isn’t going to get slapped again. No sir.

He has shark towers and people watching with binoculars, he has boats with rifle men patrolling the water. Matt Hooper is out there with these men using his fish finder. They’ve got sonic electronic ball breakers!

Which is perfect. Even more perfect they’re getting to test out their anti shark ‘go fuck yourself’ tactics. As a young lady having a nice time not peeing in the water, has her day ruined as she spots a black fin popping out of the water and swimming past her.

With that she cries out shark and everyone panics. People are fleeing the scene  and the boats are on the scene. Riflemen are aiming dead at the fin, cocked locked and ready to rock. We discover after a few moments that this fin is not a shark. But a prank played by two boys in wet suits. One kid is keeping his mouth shut, they’ll have to shoot him if they want answers. His friend however shows his true colors and sells him down the river. Pointing at his friend and telling the men aiming high powered rifles “He made me do it! He told me too!” Snitches get stitches kid. Remember that. Snitches. Get stitches.

It’s a deadly false warning, but cops back then controlled themselves enough not to open fire on innocent people and actually demonstrated restraint and control. So the kids are alright. Everyone is a little shaken.

But meanwhile, away from the crowd. Bruce is trying to quietly pick up some kelp and bluegills for dinner for his family. So he’s taking the less populated road. Still feeling he needs to keep a low profile. Especially with all these people around. But a woman has spotted him unfortunately. He was unaware his fun was sitting out of the water and put him in plain site, “Oh geeez, gotta go, gotta go!” He hurries off and glides along the water headed for a canal back to the open water and his family. Unfortunately however he forgets his own size still, and ends up knocking over a lone sailors small rowboat. Which knocks him into Brody’s eldest Michael Brody(Chris Robello) and his friends with his boat. Before Bruce can say butterfingers, everyone is now in the water. Well damnit, he is not going to screw this up. It’s daylight, he can see much better being closer to the surface. He sees a grown man in need of help getting on top of his rowboat and out of the water. “You got this Bruce, Prove them wrong, show them you’re a good shark!” He speeds off toward the man and turns on his side, thinking the man will be able to walk along his fin and use it to propel himself onto the boat!

However that sore spot in Bruce’s mouth from the hook once again irritates him and the salt water causes him to jerk his head. The moment he does the mans leg enters his mouth. Bruce has an ‘uh oh’ moment and before he knows it, the mans foot tickles his tongue and his mouth bites down. Dragging the man under water and severing his leg immediately.

Bruce is in a panic, his life is ruined. Its one thing having a beach of randoms watching you accidentally kill a child, it’s another thing entirely when you have a group of kids seeing you kill a man. He can’t hide from this and he thanks the lord for salt water as it hides his tears that begin to fall. Bruce begins to take off only to notice Michael Brody hovering in the water. This kid needs saving or his state of shock will cause him to drown! So Bruce sucks in a deep breath, pushes himself harder and swims beside Michael.

He rolls his eyes over and they turn black, protecting him and keeping himself from having to look at the possibly kids body if he manages to kill him too. But much to Bruce’s surprise, Michael isn’t bleeding or dead. In fact. Michael is alive! Yes! Michael is hugged by his front left fin and being dragged away from the body of the failed rescue attempt and brought to the safety of the shore in the pond! He did it! Bruce’s heart swells as he finally did something right! God does shine his love down on dimming stars so they can shine bright once more!. Having saved Michael, Bruce veers off and waves a happy fin to the boy and hurries home to tell his wife and son about his amazing rescue. Leaving out the failed first attempt and murdered man. And the other murders.

If I had to tell you what it was in the movie that made me afraid of the water? This scene would be key to that. It’s another creepy scarily accurate shot, of the shark just close enough to the surface on its side, we can see it under water, mouth open as the man tries climbing onto his boat, only to have his leg bitten and himself pulled down into the water.

It stayed with me as a kid, and it’s a scene that still fascinates me to this day. It was another scene that, though my dad always knew was coming, still would make him cringe up. It’s sort of funny honestly because even though the shark itself may not have aged all that gracefully. There are definitely times you can tell you are looking at an animatronic. It still manages in attacks like this one to just elicit that fear in you and strike the right note to just mess with you. I both love and hate it. And I was not joking about Bruce having saved Michael. There was a scene in the film, which ultimately got deleted, unfortunately. That showed a traumatized Michael watching as the shark passed by him and he ended up getting pulled along side the shark when his body hit the sharks fin. Further putting him into a state of shock. It explains why when he’s pulled out of the water he’s passed out but not harmed and then taken to the hospital. As it stands though in the film, all we see is a quick shot of the shark swimming past Michael but that’s it. I understand them not using it because it didn’t exactly look real at the time. But it would’ve definitely been a scary moment had it been included.

Well now that everyone is aware the shark problem still exist. The mayor kept the beaches open, praising how Amity(which means friendly) is a summer town for summer people and the safest biggest summer they’ve had in years. He’s not likely to get re-elected(he does) and his popularity is going down the toilet(It doesn’t). Brody has had enough. His son was put in danger this time, and that’s all he can stands, and he cant stands no more! He demands the mayor sign off on closing the beaches and hiring Quint to kill the shark. It’s the last best option and Quint is the best, of the best, of the best of what’s left.

The mayor tries getting a slice of sympathy pie for himself, Telling Brody his kids were in that water too. Brody is not emotionally invested in this conversation. He tells the man to sign, and so he does. Giving us the showdown of the century. Man VS Shark. The motion in the ocean, it’s all falling into place, just as the gypsy said it would!

There’s no gypsy. Moving along…

Brody is invested fully in this, he wants to make sure this gets done right, by the book, and that he himself can confirm this shark is D-E-D, Ded. He goes to talk to Quint, promising him the ten thousand he asked for, but he also has to be aware. That he’s going out there with himself, and Hooper.

This is the fun of the film now, and also story time.

Quint does not like Hooper. Hooper, does not like Quint. The two are opposite sides of a coin and neither cares much for the others attitude. Quint is a hard working blue collar man with callused fingers and a truckers tan drinking moonshine on a daily basis just for the taste. Hooper is a rich guy from a fancy institute who uses science and gadgets to study fish.

On set, Dreyfus tried being friends with Shaw, but Shaw said fuck that. He was often either a dick, or challenging Dreyfus. The two had constant competitions between each other. Well that’s not true honestly. That was the rumor for years. Truth is they got along pretty well. Dreyfus respected him as a stage actor and told him so. The two drank and got a long pretty well. The closest they had to a feud was when Shaw called Dreyfus over while stumbling drunk on the gangplank. Dreyfus asked him if he really needed his help. Shaw said YES I DO!, so he handed Dreyfus his drink. Which he took and then threw into the water. And in Dreyfus’s own words “he got his revenge by taking the fire hose and pointing it at my face. I lost my sense of humor and that lasted about an hour.”, otherwise Shaw never hated him. The only thing that really bugged him was he felt Dreyfus was cocky. He was a young up and coming star and he acted a little to big for his pants being in a big budget film. So he didn’t do anything ‘entirely’ cruel. He just challenged him to dares and challenges to prove his manhood which, well. When you tell someone “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you climb to the top of the mast and jump off into the water”, your kind of playing in the devils playground. I love it. The two have a great back and forth and it really shines through on screen.

Now we enter the phase of the movie that counter balances my fear of swimming in the ocean. The joy of being on a boat out on the ocean. I have never felt more free and at peace than I have when on a boat in the water. I can’t explain it. It’s just something that I connect with immediately and just instantly feel this is where I should be. As much as what lies under the surface we can’t see lurking in the dark terrifies me, I would sell everything just to have a boat and live out on the sea.

Our three characters are now on a floating psycho ward in the ocean, fishing, challenging each others manhood, and bullshitting. Also drinking. Lots. Of drinking. Which I still chuckle at when we see Quint being a bad ass downing an entire beer then crushing the can in front of Hooper. He stares back unphased and finished his drink in his Styrofoam cup and crushes it. Equally badass.

It’s not terribly exciting, until Quint catches something very big on his fishing pole. But what? We have no clue. He’s giving evert Fisherman’s wet dream and created a sequence many MANY fisherman have gone through to some degree that I’ve seen while growing up. His calm slow approach to strap himself into the chairs harness. Settling his feet into the chair, bracing himself, Setting his reel and WHAM. Fish on and the man is going to work.

It's pretty intense and fun to watch, especially when Brody steps in to help, doing exactly as Quint tells him, pouring salt water over the reel and fishing line. Hooper smirking and doubting Quint on whether or not he’s hooked the shark. Even as Quint visibly struggles with it and the fish goes under the boat. He tries harder, the two men doing their best. Brody excited and tying off support for the line, while Hooper list off any number of fish this could be. But just like that. The line snaps. A rather big fish game line which would require a hell of a lot of strength or some sharp ass powerful teeth to cut. Quint walks away grumbled and Hooper blows it off.

But all is not lost. As the day carries on, Brody is made to feel out of his element, and absolutely out of place. He’s on a boat with a mad fisherman who’s been at this lord knows how many years, and he has a shark expert from an oceanographic institute. Leaving him the literal fish out of water, with no sailing let alone fishing skills what so ever. So that nominates him for grunt work. Which means the funnest job of all. Chumming.

Yep the cuts, heads and remains of fish. Sometimes mixed with alcohol like vodka, or moonshine, and sometimes with corn and other things. But always the blood and guts of throwbacks and other fish that you let sit and ferment in a bucket. It’s the most wonderful wake you up in the morning sober you quick smell in the world. So naturally when Brody is told to drop another chum marker and toss out more of this liquid shark gold, he’s not happy. He wants Hooper to do it instead, but. Hoopers driving the boat, and this whole trip is Brody’s day in the barrel. He might be chief of police on the island, but out here, it’s Quints law, and his boat. It’s another gun seen in the movie and another moment my dad always managed to jump at. It’s rather sudden and still creepy seeing. But as Brody is tossing out Chum and tries mouthing off at Hooper as he hears Quint grumble at him to ‘Slow ahead’, Brody parrots him and repeats it as if he knows what he’s talking about, mumbling about Hooper and how he should come down there and try smelling this stuff for an hour. As the chief is doing this, out from the water pops Bruce, in an attempt to thank the Chief for the chum, but also in hopes of a serious heart to heart about turning himself in peacefully, and answering for the accidental crimes, as well as checking in on Michael.

Instead Brody backs off terrified as he begins to ball point in his pants. Backing up into Quints cabin and saying the now immortal, over used and known to all line to cover all impossibly task, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”, with that Hooper and Quint turn and look on, spotting its fin, moments before the shark glides past the boat. All three men stare mesmerized as the size of this behemoth. Which is truly impressive and still fun. Even when these men are standing in awe at the site and size of this thing now circling their boat. Hooper murmurs out “that’s a twenty four footer.”, and instantly Quint doesn’t skip a beat and immediately corrects him, “Twenty five foot, three tons on him.”

As the shark swims by and Brody unclenches his puckered ass he immediately reiterates his point, “we’re getting a bigger boat right? Right?!” But the other men are busy going to work. Quint is racing off and setting up his bolt gun, at the same time Hooper is preparing a tracking device to put on a line and help them track the fish. Brody is told to steer the boat and Quint waits eagerly for Hooper to tie a barrel onto the line of his bolt gun. The idea being, if you needed informing. Is these barrels aboard the ship, are hollow and full of air. They’re meant to keep a large fish from diving under the water and escaping. It’ll tire the fish out while trying to hide, and gives the fisherman a way to track and eventually pull in their catch. Hooper finally attaches his tracker to the line and the line to the barrel. Quint fires off his shot and slams right through the dorsal fin of the shark. Immediately exciting Hooper, and also upsetting Bruce. He is trying his best to be calm here but these guys are NOT making it easy on him. With that the barrel goes flying off the side of the boat and the shark is on the move. Hooper takes over steering the ship, sends it into full throttle and the chase is on. Meanwhile Brody is shouting at Quint, wanting to know why he didn’t kill the shark, thinking he had an actual rifle he was loading up, not spears. He wants it dead the old fashioned way, a shoot out under the sea at high noon. But this is the way of the fisherman.

However Bruce is a strong shark who aced his P.E. in high school and swam track semi professionally before getting a job at the cannery to support his family. So he’s able to vanish under water with the barrel and unfortunately their race is cut short, leaving Quint unamused and still somehow blaming Hooper for this, If he hadn’t taken his time with the tracker, they could’ve fired off two barrels if needed.

So now the group is forced to stay out past curfew. Instead of heading back home, which they did in the book, they are anchored and enjoying dinner aboard their floating home, The orca. Which I love.

The fact you have a ship named Orca? Killer whales are the biggest enemy of sharks. They are one of the few species out there that actively will fight them. So, sending out the orca to kill a shark it. I’m a geek, shut up.

Well if you came for famous scenes you reached the cream of the crop with this one. I mean the film is full of them, absolutely. But none so much so as this one.

As night settles in and the men wind down, drinking and relaxing after a semi good day. Brody worries about a cut he suffered earlier during all the action, a bump on his forehead that bled a bit. Quint smirks and tells him not to worry, it’s nothing permanent. Unlike himself, who has of course a huge knot on his skull under his cap. And with that, our men are whipping out and comparing battle scars. It’s a bonding moment for Hooper and Quint as they’re both drunk, which they actually were in real life during this. Quint more so than the rest. And they are bonding over their display of multiple scars, ranging from torn muscles from arm wrestling competitions, to eels biting arms, all the way up to a first love breaking Hoopers heart. Which gives him the best and dorkiest laugh you will ever likely hear in this or any other lifetime. It’s a great scene and I love it mostly because much later it would be recreated in the Kevin Smith film Chasing Amy, where two characters compare scars they’ve accumulated from their experiences going down on women. It’s funny as hell and beyond obscene. But so, so good. Poor Brody though, he only bares a scar from having his appendix removed, so he keeps quiet and watches his two new buddies finally bond over something.

Leading us to the single best impromptu not in the novel or script speech in a film. There is as much debate in this as there is who takes responsibility for coming up with the hockey mask idea for Jason. Carl Gottlieb takes claim for this though few others have tried saying they did it, but here we go. As the group bond over their scars, Brody smiles and decides to join the conversation by asking Quint what the scar on his upper bicep is. Quint looks over at the spot and gives a quiet half smile, telling Brody it was a tattoo he has removed a while back. Hooper instantly jokes about it, asking if the Tattoo said “mother”. It's one of the best acted scenes as Quint reaches over and begins gently, then tightly squeezing Hoopers shoulder, “Mr. Hooper, that’s the USS Indianapolis.” Instantly Hoopers laughter and smile drop, staring back at Quint in surprise “You were on the Indianapolis?”, Brody however, is clueless. He didn’t pay attention to history class, so he ask with a smile and light chuckle what happened? With that, hearing the tone from the Chief and seeing he had no idea about it. Quint tells him exactly what happened on that ship. So here you go.

“Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Heh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. Y'know, it's... kinda like ol' squares in a battle like, uh, you see in a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo, and the idea was, shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin', and sometimes the shark'd go away... sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. Y'know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then... oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin', the ocean turns red, and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. Y'know, by the end of that first dawn... lost a hundred men. I dunno how many sharks. Maybe a thousand. I dunno how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland- baseball player, boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up... bobbed up and down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. Young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and come in low and three hours later, a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. Y'know, that was the time I was most frightened, waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a life jacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water, three hundred sixteen men come out, and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945…anyway…we delivered the bomb.”

With that the boat goes silent as his story sinks in, Brody aware he really knows how to kill the mood in a room, Hooper struck with a new respect and understanding for Quint, and Bruce outside shaking his head in disbelief, wishing he could hug the man and tell him it’ll be okay, if not for the fact he’d kill him instantly.

So how do you top a famous scene like that? With another one right after!

Even better? Not just any famous scene. But a sing-a-long scene! YEAH!!!

It’s a song most all of us had grown up hearing, knowing, and repeating at some drunken time or another in reference to the film, and lord knows my family and I had our share of moments doing so. Much to the entertainment of our father and all with us.

They sign a very old song sang by an old comedian Frank Crumit, and an even better version of it was done by the Andres Sisters, the song? Show Me the Way to Go Home, and each version no matter who sings it, they progressively get more and more drunk as the song goes on.

Hooper is the one who begins singing the old 20’s song, immediately lifting the mood from Quint he grins drunkenly and soon joins in. The two begin a drunken chorus and once Brody sees the mood has improved he joins the men and sings along, adding his hand hand jiving on the table. The whole boat is alive with the song as the three men grow louder and more drunken sounding, slurring and enjoying themselves. Even Bruce gets in on the fun. He knows a fun time when he hears one! He’s singing from outside, twisting and shaking his shark tail, and eventually begins knocking his nose against the ships hull to help carry the rhythm.

However the crew now aware Bruce is near stop singing and head up top. Quint, drunk off his ass tries shooting at the shark but to no avail. The little tracker Hooper placed blinking in the night under water. But now that the fun has stopped and with it the singing, Bruce swims away dragging the barrel with him. Figuring he can try returning it later once the men are more agreeable.

I love this scene because for the longest time I thought this was CGI, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t even an in camera trick either. But if you watch closely. When Quint rest at the front of the ship, you can catch a red comet trailing across the sky behind him. A few moments later when you have the wide shot outside the boat over the water? You see the same comet in the sky. It’s not an effect it was really caught on film and it just looks so cool. Especially when you’ve spotted it both times. Just part of the magic of filmmaking.

With that our drunken night comes to an end. The cracks in the boards from Bruce rocking out causes a small leak and when morning arrives. The men are left to deal with it, repairing the engine  where needed and readying for whatever the day may bring.

Which comes very soon for them. In the form of Bruce having woken earlier and making an appearance. Wishing the men good morning, asking how they slept. “Oh boys, I think hes come back for his noon feeding.” Hooper announces and the men notice the barrel and fin once more. Bruce can’t believe these guys are still trying to attack him. If they can’t understand shark, then maybe interpretive dance will work. So Bruce readies to show off his 8 years of dance theater work. Meanwhile Quint is shouting about readying another barrel. This perplexes Bruce as he thinks another barrel? Did they already buy and replace the one they shot into me?

Soon enough he learns the answer that as another barrel dart is fired off and strikes his body. Just when his day was starting out, it had to sail sideways.

But Bruce is a tough shark. He isn’t giving up. The lord loves a working shark, and respects one willing to turn the other fin even more. So Bruce does just that. Turning from the men and swimming the opposite way. But Quint fires off a third barrel at him. “What the hell man?!” Bruce may be a good Christian, but every shark has his limits! He is quickly reaching his limit, and the limit of his strength so he takes a breather. Trying to meditate himself and recenter his chi. As he does so, Quint and the others begin to tie off the barrels to the boat. Thinking they can drag the shark in and that’ll end that. Hooper and Brody work as quickly as they can to do so, only a little too quickly as the lines immediately grow tense and nearly cut off Hoopers legs, Brody helps him over the edge and Quint drives the boat. Dragging Bruce he gets shook out of his meditative stance, now being dragged through the water. But he’s not giving up, no. He hears the voice of his son Derrick calling out to his dad “But daddy, what do we do when we fall down?” Bruce knows the answer. “You get back up son. No matter how hard you get hit in life, you always get back up.” Bruce. Is back up. Heroic music begins to swell and soon his wife appears in his mind Lucy’s sweet angelic voice comforting him in their local church, the day he was passed up for a big promotion. “You always try to save everyone Bruce, but never yourself. Well sometimes you need saving too. But if I can’t be there to lift you up, just know. In my eyes? You’re the greatest, great white in the whole of the ocean. Now go get’em tiger.” With that Bruce swells with emotion and feels strength he never knew existed in him before. He’s fighting back and he is not going to get knocked down again.

The Orca has to slow down as Hooper notices the once tight lines dragging the shark have now gone loose and flaccid hanging limp and of no use to anyone, an embarrassment. Out of the water Bruce sits up and flexes his smooth belly and abs. “I’M THE GREATEST! I’M THE GREAT WHITE!” he shouts for all in the world as he begins chomping through the lines of rope before vanishing under water. He begins pulling the boat now. HE is the one in control. This is HIS ocean. NOT their ocean! The men are overwhelmed and move to cut the lines free. Only Bruce with the might of Sharkulese burst the tow irons off the ship, freeing himself. Bruce is JACKED up on the lord right now!

Seeing now the shark chase after them. The men begin headed back toward land. Quint is running out of ideas, so he’s going with the last thing he can imagine. Head in toward the shore and drawn the shark in the shallow waters. Only there’s one problem. The engines were not fully repaired and the harder Quint pushes the boat, the more heated the engines become. Hooper tries to warn him but he ignores him. Quint is part cat you see. The moment someone says don’t do it, he does it. He pushes the boat into full throttle and instantly they begin sailing, but the ship is now smoking like a school bus driver. Huge plumes of smoke rise up and eventually the engine explodes. What’s worse, and more shocking. The shark shouldn’t be able to go down with two barrels, let alone three. Yet it does. Further proving Bruce is indeed, almighty.

Hah.

Well, since Quint had a little hissy fit, he’s paying for it now. The boat is taking on water, it’s going to sink, and their engine is blown. They’re too far out from land to swim back without getting killed, and they might sink before the boats engine gets fixed. Quint even when he is growling and in charge, has never shown fear. Not once. He’s never admitted somethings wrong. Even now when it was his fault. He wont admit it and he wont admit how screwed they are. The only thing he does do, is when he looks at the ship and realizes just how bad things are. He reaches for two life vest and hands them to Hooper and Brody without another word. The two know that’s his way of saying now’s the time to start making peace with your maker.

He's even willing at this point to give Hooper a chance. When they began their trip at sea, Hooper brought a shark cage and spears on board just in case it would be needed. Quint mocked him for it. But now. Quint is looking at this new tech and he’s willing to give it a try. They did things his way and they failed. So maybe giving things the old college try would work. So the three men waste no time and begin constructing the cage. The intent is for Hooper to dive down in the cage, and if the shark gets close enough to him, jab it with a poisoned tip spear. He’s not taking any chances, Hooper is flooding that sucker with all the poison he can. He looks up at Brody and the two give a silent fairwell to one another. Hooper fearing being in the water with a giant behemoth of a shark, and Brody hating the idea of his friend being there alone in nothing but a thin cage.

This scared the shit out of me as a kid, I’ll admit that readily. Seeing him under water, no idea where the shark is, was. Will come from. Until it finally shows up in the distant fog of the water and passes Hooper. He carefully removes the cork from the tip of his spear and holds the weapon out, ready for the shark to make a second pass. Only when it does, it comes from behind and not in front.

Bruce is angry and wants to have some harsh words with Hooper. Hooper looks on in despair as he once again when frightened immediately dropped his one weapon, leaving him defenseless. Bruce see’s the mans spear fall to the ocean floor, seeing the hopeless reaction on his face. Suddenly he hates the rage he felt and let consume him. He remembers the teachings of the lord, about forgiving your enemy their trespasses, and and offering friendship to them. He realizes this human is stuck inside a cage under water. Perhaps he came to communicate and he dropped his translation spear? Surely that must be it. So bruce tells Hooper to hold on, he’ll help him. And with that Bruce the greatest great white, begins throwinghimself into the shark cage, taring it apart until Hooper has an opening to escape finally. Bruce twist and thrashes around, caught in the cages wires. Causing the Orca to begin taking on more water and the pully system Quint hooked up to bend. Quint and Brody are working hard trying to lift their friend up to safety, only for the brace to break and with it part of the mast, nearly crushing Brody. But Hooper has escape and Bruce is relieved. The human has escaped. He helped! He saved the bearded man who is friend to sharks!

Bruce is swimming in victory circles and swells with excitement. He gets so excited in fact he swims toward the Orca, which is now much closer to the surface of the water and does a graceful belly flop onto the ship. Absolutely obliterating the back of the boat and causing it to fully bow down to the water. Brody holds onto whatever he can for dear life. Quint as well. Gripping into the wood shelving within the ships cabin. The ship is literally falling apart and as items roll and shift around the ship. A loose oxygen tank rolls down and slams into Quints hand. The man screams out and is forced to let go. Brody reaches out and grabs his friends hand.

But its too much for Brody, the weight of his friend, the slickness of his glove, items tumbling around them. Quint for the first time since the Indianapolis shows genuine fear for his life as his grip slips from Brody and he sails down the boat toward the shark. Bruce is trying to celebrate and shout at the men the good word. Their friend is alive, he’s getting his translation spear and they can finally settle this like civilized men!

It's too late though. As Bruce attempts to communicate he remembers sharks can’t talk clearly out of water. He’s just uselessly flapping his jaws. Quint unavoidably slips into Bruce’s mouth. Tickling his sensitive tongue and with that Bruce sneezes and bites down on Quint. He taste blood and realizes, here we go again. My slippery butter fins. He tries spitting the man out but sharks have no hands. So he just ends up chomping down on Quint, as the brave manliest of men, goes down, stabbing the shark just under its eye with his machete, until he dies and his body sinks down into the water to his grave.

Brody watches in terror as his new friend was just eaten alive before him, and Hooper likely was killed under water as well. He’s losing hope fast and even more reassured in his correct fear of the water as the boat is sinking at a rapid pace. He’s hunting in the cabin for a weapon, anything he can use to defend himself. Bruce bashes through one of the port windows, pleading with Brody that what happened was a sincere accident, and if Brody could just pull the machete out of his cheek he’d deeply appreciate it and maybe they can work this out.

But Brody is in no mood. He picks up an oxygen tank and begins bashing it into Bruce’s nose. His best feature!!

Bruce cries out and tries to tell the human to stop. But Brody is relentless in his hatred for beautiful noses, and only stops once the tank goes sailing into Bruce’s wide open jaws.

Hah.

Well Bruce is just about at the end of his rope. He’s tried and tried and tried, but to no avail. He saved two people, and accidentally murdered several others. He just wants to explain himself to someone and this man is being an absolute Richard about it. So tough love it is. Bruce glides into the water and swims off, needing to get himself a good bit of distance so he can  leap toward Brody. Pin him to a wall and ask the human to just breath and listen to him. Brody is moving for higher ground. He knows it worked for Obi Wan, and he’s not going to be an Anakin here. Not today chief. He finds Quints rifle and heads toward the still above water mast. Putting himself up near the crows nest. Bruce is headed straight toward him now.

This is it. He is going to have the final word, and he will prove man and shark can communicate even on a basic level and that piece between them can exist. He may even be cleared of his ‘mistakes’, Brody is taking aim down the rifle and firing at Bruce. Bruce immediately thinks to Serpentine. But he’s a shark, not a serpent. So he just swims like a torpedo, idly chewing on the oxygen tank. As Brody mumbles for the shark to show him that tank, he fires off again, missing. This time, his last chance, he takes a long time aiming, holds his breath and gives the great line, “Smile you son of a bitch!” and with that, he fires off one final round. The bullet lodging itself in the oxygen tank. Bruce sees a bright blinding light. His first thought, “God? Is that you?” and the answer, is searing pain as his muscles are ripped to shrugs and his skin burned. His body is ripped apart in a violent explosion and bits of Bruce are now feeding nearby fish, this completing the Circle of Life.

Bruce, the good Christian shark. Father of Derrick, beloved husband of Lucy, is no more. As his soul ascends he sees the spirits of his great grandpa white, and mama white. Daddy white and his pet sea urchins. As he looks down he see’s his son Derrick swimming on his own out into the beautiful wide open, And his wife, watches him, somehow knowing Bruce is gone, their connection severed. “Go my love.” He whispers to Lucy, “Go and be happy, live your life to its fullest and dance. Always dance.” And with that Bruce the greatest great white ascends to heaven, free of murder charges. Forgiven for his sins.

Brody meanwhile is balls deep in salt water and its raining shark guts. Hallelujah.  As he decides its okay to relax. Unclench his anus, and let rip the terror farts he’s been holding in the past hour. Who should ruin the moment, but Hooper. Showing up and both startling, and exciting Brody. He at least had one friend survive this. The two men grab a nearby board from the ship, and two barrels, making a small makeshift raft and begin paddling and kicking toward land, giving us one last fun moment as Brody ask what day it is, as if nothing happened just now and it’s a normal day. “You know, I used t be afraid of the water.” He jokes, and Hooper chuckles shaking his head. “I can’t imagine why.”, and with that John Williams sings us off with a soft gentle tune and the movie rolls credits.

The End

I don’t know about you, but I enjoyed Bruce the shark. It’s not even a made up name. It was the real name given to the animatronic shark. Which did not work 85% of the time during filming. Which famously is why you don’t see the shark that often, and why certain shots had to be done differently. The orca also sank for real nearly stranding the sound crew, actors and destroying their equipment.

The shark was not tested to work in the water. It was rushed because of scheduling and they just threw it in the salt water and hoped for the best. Which ended up the worst, it also lead to the now famous and named documentary “The shark isn’t working”, which is what the crew heard daily when asked on the status of Bruce, until the magical days came where you’d hear “The shark is working! Repeat the shark is working.”

There are countless behind the scenes stories on this film and its many MANY challenges, because again, A director thought it’d be a good idea to shoot on the ocean instead of a water tank. They wanted a real feeling. Which they absolutely got. But that also meant uncontrollable water and weather. Which more often worked against them versus for them. There were numerous delays, they were leaping and bounding with the budget and the studio was losing faith. But it all came together in the end and made history.

As for the finale in the book? As I mentioned Hooper banged Ellen Brody, the two had an affair. Leading to a tense time on the Orca as Brody and Hooper came to fist a few times and Hooper made comments about him needing to satisfy his wife more often. Hooper did end up in a shark cage, but he was killed under water. Which is kind of hilarious because once Brody made it back home, as the Orca did dock between outtings, Once he told his wife about this. She decided to bite her resentment at the affair and betraying her husband, and let the truth of that situation be buried with Hooper. So since the guy died, she decided not to tell her husband. But she did cry hard for Hooper when she learned he’d died, which confused her husband a bit. Just. A. BIT.

As for Quint? He went down much like Ahab in Moby Dick. He was stabbing at the shark once it jumped at the boat and he ended up getting tangled in fishing net along his leg which got wrapped around the shark. So as the shark descended into the water. Quint drowned being dragged under and stabbing at the shark till he died. The rest still follows pretty closely. Just Brody ends up alone, cucked and finding his way back home.

So Spielberg making the changes he did. Decided that Hooper was a character who should really be Brody’s only friend in this and biggest supporter. He didn’t like the idea of killing him off, and felt the audience would feel betrayed. So he survives in the end, and Quint dies as he lived. A badass.

It’s a movie I grew up loving, and its also something until today I was unable to get through watching.

See, I love this movie. My dad loved it too, it’s something I grew up watching with him, like a lot of movies. But this was ‘our’ movie. Any time a new version would come out? I always bought it, and I’d always go through the bonus features, then watch the movie with my dad when I’d see him and my mom.

I’ve set up sound systems for my parents JUST so we could experience the new audio mix for the latest release of Jaws. Then I’d take my surround setup back home lol. I’d carry that shit just for one damn movie. Because we loved it and I enjoyed watching it with my dad, knowing every time. Every damn time. He’d jump at the same scares, and he’d tell me again and again without fail “no matter how many damn times I’ve seen this thing and I KNOW it’s coming, I still jump.”, it always made us laugh.

I put in a preorder for the 4k version of JAWS a few months before he passed away. The movie arrived six months later, and I broke down. I’d forgotten I ordered it, and had been looking forward to watching it in 4k on my parents new 4k tv. Now I had the best version of this film likely ever to come out, and he wouldn’t be there to watch it with me.

It hurt a lot, it still does.

I tried watching the movie and I made it 5 minutes in before I started crying and couldn’t do it. I avoided it ever since then. This was the first time since his passing that I’d actually watched it. Which even then I got through only by focusing on the writing. When I’d start watching the movie playout. Yeah. I could make it through most of it, and then it just gets hard and I have to give the movie a moment. I know the film inside and out by heart. I have every scene memorized and I was able to complete a lot of this by that alone. But between that, and feeling sick all day. I managed to finally make it through, 7 hours later.

I know one day I’ll make it through this again, it’ll still carry a weight with me that will never go away. But I know I’ll be able too, and even then, and now with writing this. I’ve not lost one ounce of love for this film. I love it all the more for the memories it’s given me and experiences watching it. It looks absolutely stunning on 4k, and sounds even better. I just wish he could’ve seen it with me one last time. But I did it and still enjoyed the hell out of it. The power of movies people.

And now, for something completely different.

How ya like that transition. Smooth as butter.

The Music.

This film, the music. All of it is an experience unlike others. John Williams found the simplest melody and made it the most frightening thing, he created a theme that everyone recognizes, and everyone uses any time we want to tease and terrorize someone. Outside of the water or inside it. It’s instantly recognizable and every bit as beautiful as it is deadly. Much like the shark itself.

The film took a similar approach to one of the first films to ever get a soundtrack made for it. King Kong. It was one of the first films to use music tied to the story, and famously timed itself with the steps of the native chief as he approached our captured heroes. Williams made a point, and one that Spielberg relied on heavily with the absence of the shark. That anytime. Every time. The shark was around, and someone was in danger? You’d hear that theme play. And any time it wasn’t there? Like the boys with the fake fin? You never hear the music because it’s not the shark. He’s not there. But once he shows up on the pond? Then you hear that theme creep up and your brain clicks “Oh shit he’s there.”, its clever and beautifully done, and really does save the film at times especially with not seeing Bruce the shark for a good portion.

I also love that the theme was used in a comical way in Spaceballs in their own riff of it when introducing Spaceball 1. Hell Jaws even got meta with the theme using it in the often hated but rightly loved Jaws The Revenge. One of the characters begins humming it as his friend is under water collecting samples.

A track that reminds me very much of something from Psycho and just serves as a beautiful and deadly track is “The First Victim”, its played when Chrissie enters the water all through her horrific encounter and eventual death. It starts off enchanting and foreboding, turning suddenly loudly violent and swift. Just like the sharks attack and slowly dies out, just as she does and the film focuses on the crashing waves on the beach. It’s really something to hear and always gets me listening to it.

Honestly a lot of the score carries a very sort of dreamy foreboding melancholy to it. It has that familiar Williams sound you get from Raiders and Empire, but it carries a bit more. Its just enough its own thing that it doesn’t entirely fall into the trappings of being all too familiar and entirely a Williams sound. But the man absolutely knows how to nail down a theme when he has it, and especially adventure and suspense.

If you need a lesson in that? Check out ‘The Pier Incident”, it’s the track playing when the two men decide to fish with a holiday roast. There’s a lot musically going on there, and still carries that same similar noted theme as the other songs. Anytime the shark is involved, you get the quiet, then the stalking of the pray. The attack, the danger and then the end. This incident with the pier was a vulgar display of power from the shark and the score reflects that by amping up the bass and drum in the sharks main theme. Giving weight behind it, brute strength. It’s genuinely brilliant and still I believe unmatched by any film in its genre.

A really eerie track though, not a lot of people would think of as being eerie and creepy? Especially during such an innocent moment. Is “Father And Son”, when Chief Brody and his son are miming one another at the table, its such an innocent and sweet bonding moment. But the music that plays over it. Dear god. It puts the fear in you. It changes the scene entirely when you’ve listened to it on its own, then go back to the scene.

That’s part of why I love scores for films. There’s so much in the music that gets lost in the films sound mix or edited out, spoken over. There are truly beautiful worlds in the music for films and this entire score is a universe all its own. Like a soundtrack to an entire water planet being visited for the first time. Much the same way as Ridley Scott spoke of the score for Alien.

Even as a kid, just hearing the music, and especially for a horror film? It just sounded so grand in scope, something so large and serious. Much like with ALIEN if you want a good example of this? Listen to both “The Alminetary Canal”, and “Ben Gardner’s Boat”. It’s unlike anything in the rest of the film, but the slow distant theme of the shark, as its reintroduced and swims its way into the track. It brings you back to the film and where you are. Again starting with exploration and stalking, then attacking.

Even Quints theme is just a character all its own, much like the man. “Quint Thinks It’s Over” it’s a nice capture of the scene in the film and Quint in that moment.

Favorite track though? That’s a tough one. Really. I actually enjoy a lot of the alternate take on the themes. The alternate for “Great Chase” the music played when the men are going after the shark chasing the bobbing barrels for the first time. It’s classic. It’s the same for me as “The Asteroid field” in Empire Strikes back. It just has the instantly iconic sound to it. Both versions and it’s hard to really pick between the two. It’s just a classic John Williams adventure track really.

There’s another reason I love it to be honest. As a pet project when I was learning film editing and effects way back in the day, like SUPER way back. I saw a video on a board someone posted of Jaws redone as a silent film, and they played that scene with the track behind it and ever since then. I just fell in love with the idea of Jaws being shown as a silent film, in black and white with the soundtrack playing loud and proud.

It's the closest I can name for a favorite track next to the “End Title” theme

It’s just again, a beautiful gentle lullaby of the movies main themes, a calm breeze and genuine feeling that everything is finally alright. The shark is no longer a threat. The heroes made it, and the town is saved. It’s hard to put other than it just carries a sound to it, a finale that’s lacking in most modern films and only seems to come from old adventure films. Basically Spielberg movies. It’s just a sound that nails down perfectly the tone and feel of his films and I guess in the end why they’re so endearing and close to the heart for all of us.

This is why the film is in the final three. It’s just an incredible all around experience and feeling you only get through the music of John Williams and Steven Spielberg. A simple paring of notes became an iconic theme and carries through to today, and the music is getting as much if not the same love as the film. It helped elevate the film. I’d say make the film but I don’t want to disrespect the director. But it really does give the film that life blood and force it needed to bring it to life and drive home both the fear from the shark, the mystery of the ocean, and the safety in the end.

Absolutely you should watch this, as often as you can, with as many people as you can. I’d even go as far as saying do a live watch along online, invite as many people as you can. I used to do those and host 8 hour movie nights online and it was the funnest time I’d spend online. Experience the film with friends and absolutely get your hands on the music to this masterpiece of both cinema and sound.

I couldn’t do this list without that movie, and STILL I fought with its spot in the final three. But trust me, there is still some surprises left. Which I will have to justify I know.

So for now, until tomorrow. When playing flirty face with someone you just met, and your under the influence, and feeling a bit bold. Make them work for it. Don’t give any candy for free, it ain’t Halloween, they gotta earn it. Because if you do? A shark will eat your ass and not in a pleasurable way. Be safe out there, and tell me how the water is. Cuz my ass aint goin near it.