Day 19 Silent Night Deadly Night 1 & 2

Day 19 Silent Night Deadly Night 1 and 2

The weather outside is frightful

I’m not singing, just saying. Seriously the wind is giving us hurricane warnings and the rain is pissed.

But that’s all behind us. What’s ahead of us is Christmas!

So let’s continue the trend of horror taking over holidays.

Now there are some good Christmas horror out there. Krampus, Christmas Evil, Santa’s Slay

But few reach the fun levels this movie goes for, and absolute legendary lines. AND line delivery.

Not to mention impaling people on Antlers. Among other things.

So lets begin this tale of Christmas Cheer, so we can get to the laziest funniest sequel in the history of the 80’s

Silent Night Deadly Night Take 1

So what better way to begin a story about Chistmas slaughter, than with a murder rape. Well that’s where we go! On a blistery Christmas eve night, young Billy is traveling with his mom and dad. But they have to slow down as they notice a car ahead of them having troubles. As they slow down Billy and the family brighten up their red cheeked faces seeing Santa! Who pulls out his 9mm. Taking out dad and dragging mom out for some unwanted special attentions. All in front of poor Billy. But mom fights back and ends up getting taken out as well. But just as Santa advanced to take out Billy! Well, Santa can’t find him. He just knows he’s hiding out in the brush beside the road. But before anyone can be prosecuted and imprisoned. Santa is gone. Leaving Billy and his little baby bro, now moved to an orphanage where he gets to look forward to being abused with rules and beatings from Nuns because PTSD wasn’t a recognized thing back then and they just expected Billy to adjust and man up.

The mother superior is a bit of a superior bitch to Billy. She’s rather hard on him from day one, but she’s not interested in what people think of her methods. She only cares for him to be taught discipline and to not unwind and become a hardened criminal.

Seems legit.

So after some traumatic events, like finding two teenagers making out, and getting a beating for perving, getting tied to his bed for having night terrors remembering the night his family was murdered and running out of his room. See lights out means, lights the fuck out! Don’t leave your room! And lastly being forced to sit on Santa Clause’s lap, to teach him gratitude and prove the mother superiors methods worked. Which backfire as Billy decks Santa with a hell of an upper cut. The 80’s were a wonderous time indeed.

Fast forwarding 10 years. Billy is 18, on his own, and working his first job. In retail. Working the stockroom of a toy store.

For the unfamiliar. Retail is a special level of living hell created by the devil to challenge us and teach us to hate our fellow man, with constant testing of our patience, tolerance, and mental understanding of base intelligence. So of course this will help Billy further his quest to become a well adjusted individual. Naturally.

Billy enjoys his work. Takes pride in it even, and works hard to make a good impression. So he’s doing alright!. Christmas is coming and that means decorations, santa, more toys and loud kids, as well as the ever present fearful realization a traumatized teenager could flip and go on a rampage at any moment. But what moment will ring that bell for him?

Well my money is on the moment his boss tells him they need a Santa for the store so he tells Billy, ‘You either put on the suit or your fired’. So Billy, not wanting to be a failure. Wanting to be good and not naughty. Decides to put on the suit, and ‘become’ santa.

This brings the fun in. Not because of the slaughter to ring in Christmas. But because of a fun memory. Like all fun memories given to us by uncles and grandparents. Billy was left with his quiet gramps as a kid at a mental hospital and Gramps reached over to Billy. Laying out for him a heavy anti-Christmas rant, and something about manifest destiny I think. But it ends with a life lesson Billy had reinforced with the death of his parents at the hands of Santa. “Santa doesn’t care if you were naughty or nice JUST at Christmas. He cares the whole year round. If you were naughty even once, well. The naughty get punished. The good get rewarded.” So that’s what we get. A woke Santa getting kids to sit on his lap and saying things like “Your being naughty, and if you’re naughty, I will have to punish you, severely.”

The 80’s were a truly wonderous time.

So obviously wearing the santa suit hasn’t warped his morality and personality what so ever, on Christmas eve. He’s just decided that, as Santa now. He can decide who’s naughty and nice.

This is one of my favorite moments and a classic line in the film. The store reaches closing time, the owner cheeks the moment it happens and declares “It’s finally here! We can close! Time to get shit faced!” and another fun one as he pours everyone, including the 18 year old troubled teen hard liquor “A few more of these tonight and you really WILL think your Santa Clause.”

Underage drinking, abusive child raising, and unfair treatment of employees. What a time to be alive!

Another good line “Hey whatcha doin?” Thinkin about my parents “Oh that’s good that’s fine! A boy should think about their parents!” They’re dead…

I love this movie lol

So everyone gets sloshed on booze, and the overly drunk store owner, after an awkward talk with his Santa employee kicks the murder spree off by informing him “It’s Christmas eve, it’s almost time, you know what santa does right? Better get started!”

Now. If he was say, made aware. That between his gramps telling him Santa punishes the naughty, and rewards the nice on Christmas Eve, and remembered his parents were killed by a man dressed as Santa. This might have gone differently.

Instead Billy says it’s go time, and he’s gonna start with the naughty in the store.

Which means the only other male employee who belittles him and brings one of the most questionable intent scenes in the film.

You see, there’s a nice girl he kind of likes at the store. But he’s a little troubled and shy so he doesn’t make a move. His dude bro coworker though however does. The coworker decides to tell the lady he has a present for her, in the backroom. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

So Santa Billy finds the lady telling the man ‘No” and “Don’t” also “Let’s go back”

The coworker decides to rip her sweater, showing off her breast to the backroom, and throws her over a pile of boxes to begin the raping.

This of course triggers Santa Billy to flashback to his parents murder and moms near rape. As I said. It’s go time!

So Santa Billy declares loud and proud, the best take away line from this entire series. “Naughty!”

He shoves the coworker off the lady and strangles him with Christmas lights. The assaulted woman watches, covering herself as Santa Billy drops the body and…..calls him crazy. A bastard. Screaming at him to get away from her.

She’s ungrateful for his saving her and pushes Santa Billy away. Slapping him. This was sadly a bad move, and her Christmas eve is totally ruined as he picks up a sharp object, shouts “Punish!” and kills her.

I would have honestly thought, stopping a rapist and attacking the rapist would be met with thanks and a moment to escape. But I also understand seeing someone killed in front of you is also not such a good thing.

Sadly no one in the store survives. Even Mr Sims the store owner. He gets killed, for obviously treating his employees poorly and serving booze to an 18 year old. But the noteworthy death in this toy store goes to the durnk friend of Mr Simms. Who gets an Arrow shot into her back a good few yards away. Billy is genuinely a talented athletic Santa Slayer!

As Billy escapes to begin his attack on the town. One of the nuns visits the toy store discovering the bodies. Terror and shock!

But now we get to one of the truly memorable scenes in the film

A blonde babysitter and her blonde boyfriend are going at it hot and heavy on a pool table. Little Cindy whom she is babysitting states she wants to stay up and see Santa. The horny pair send her off to bed not wanting her to see them committing sins on her parents pool table and staining the top.

Santa Billy has heightened senses once he puts on the suit and enters rage mode. He can sense sex and sin.  So of course he comes to their house.

Which brings a big logic bomb of womankind. The girlfriend stops her near sexy time romp with the boyfriend because she thinks she hears the cats bells jingling outside so the cat must need to come inside. It’s snowing outside. So she slips on her booty short jeans, but no top. Then heads outside to the snow for the cat.

I don’t think I’ve ever known a woman to decide putting shorts on and no top as a good idea in snowy weather.

BUT it soon doesn’t matter as Santa Billy appears and declares again “PUNISH!!”

And punish he does. Lifting the babysitter up and impaling her perfect breast through a deer mounted head on the wall.

Soon after her boyfriend joins her in being judged naughty and

PUNISHED!!

The only ones NOT punished in this house, are the little girl, because she was actually good(We will assume) and the cat. Because all cats are good.

ALL. CATS.

Oh also after deciding the girl was good, because she insist that she was, though the jury is still out. Santa Billy gives her a gift. A bloody box cutter. Because why not. He also lets her discover the naked impaled body of her baby sitter. The 80’s I tell ya.

So the police are on the lookout for Santa Billy. The nuns are all a flutter, practically molting at this point.  So where is Billy?!

He’s taking care of business still! He finds a couple of snow bullies, taking a good kids slay. Because well as the bully says “Fuck you, I wanna go sledding” So these guys get their butts kicked, sled taken and the bullies engage in some yule tied late night sleighing. These bullies mind you are easily in their 20’s

Another classic moment coming.

As Bully one goes sledding down the hill, speeding dangerously down it…He makes it safely down there without issue. His friend however gets his head taken off by an Axe as he speeds down hill. PUNISH!!!

But don’t worry, his friend soon joins him too.

Finally we reach the climax. It’s Christmas morning. Bodies are stacking up. Santa Billy is still at large, the nuns and police are still frantically flipping out and worrying.

Nun: Any news?

Detective: All bad

Love the dialog.

So where oh where could Santa be? He’s making his way back to the orphanage. He’s got a score to settle with one bad mother superior.

But alas, all is well! A cop see’s the santa headed for the children, offering a hand out to little Ricky. So the officer plugs Santa with 4 shots to the back. This was a time of Ash Williams methods “Shoot first, think later”

However the Santa they killed was under 50 and six feet tall. Father O’Brian!

Meanwhile, now that the kids have witnessed a shooting and murder of a priest. Mother Superior decides it’s best they lock the doors and sing. So they begin singing the only Christmas song royalty free or they actually afforded with the budget. But the music acts like a theme song for the WWE as Santa Billy makes his way to the ring. But only after punishing the naughty officer who killed the innocent priest (as far as we know innocent priest).

So Here comes Santa Billy! Relying on one of the little orphans to see him and let him inside. Which pleases the kids a great deal. But scares the hairs off Mother Superior.

Actually not at all. She’s still a god hardened bitch and ready to take him on. Even in a wheelchair. Even as Billy declares her “Naughty!’

But just as he’s about to AXE her a few questions. A spread legged Detective takes Billy out, shooting the REAL bad santa in the back.

As he lay there, dying in front of the kids who would otherwise need therapy, but will likely end up tied to their beds, he states with his last breath. “You’re safe, for now. Santa Clause is…gone.” Dramatic music plays, we pan from the bloodied axe near his body to the feet of a nearby boy who stares at Mother Superior and states……..Naughty!

Of course it sets up the sequel!! It was majestic, silly, and a good deal of fun. Things just happen and it’s great. The film couldn’t afford songs, like most films back then. Especially Christmas songs. So the movie made their own songs. Which if you listen to the lyrics? Are Hilarious and very meta. It’s seriously funny and a joy.

But the sequel. Is that also a joy? Well, that depends on your point of view. As you’ll find many of the things we cling to depend greatly on our point of view. Yes I went there.

Silent Night Deadly Night Take 2

How to explain this movie. Yes it genuinely needs explaining.

Dig if you will a picture. You’re a film maker wanting to make a sequel to a successful film. A company approves It, producers back it. Studio says make it so. You can go forward with your sequel. So how do you do it?

By recycling 60% of the first film in your sequel, telling people the story of the first film again, through a highlight reel. While giving little moments of the new story. That’s this movie.

But somehow. SOME HOW. It works!!

Joe Bob Briggs jokes about this movie that, if you never saw the first one, don’t worry you’ll see it in the sequel!

He was not joking. The people who made this film. No one really wanted to film it. They managed to shoot about 40 minutes or so of new story. So the producer of the first, approached two editors and told them, take the first film, and what we have of the second film, mix it up and make a movie out of it.

And so they did. Creating an internet meme in the process.

So the movie opens in our main protagonist of the film Ricky, enjoying a smoke in mental institution…prison, place. Waiting to be interviewed about what happened that brought him here where we find him.

Ricky Is a national treasure. Nearly every line from him is gold. His tone is wonderful. He over acts everything and it works for this movie. A thousand times over it does.

So what do we learn about Ricky? We learn that. HE WAS THE BABY BRO OF BILLY!!! Yes. We didn’t forget them. He was raised in the same orphanage. So skipping all the reused scenes they used from the original movie, again think I’m joking about using 60% of the first film? Between the start of the film and where they pick up after the flashbacks? 13 minutes have gone by of the original film. Yeah…13 minutes.

And after that? We get two minutes of the doctor interviewing him changing reels on his tape recorder. Which leads to ANOTHER close to 10 minutes of the original being shown again! You seriously have 58 minutes, with over 30 of it belonging to used scenes from the first. All of this…just to get to what I WILL NOW!!

Ricky grew up in the orphanage while his brother was freed and went on a killing spree, only seeing him again at the moment of his death. The kid who the bloody axe landed in front of? And declared Mother Superior to be naughty? Yup. Ricky.

An hour into the film, and we learned the boy at the end of the first movie, was his brother.

 So NOW we can get to the meat and potatoes. After the killing of his brother. The orphanage closed down and he was adopted by a jewish family. So as he said, ‘they definitely didn’t celebrate Christmas’ so no fear there of Santa trouble.

No, for Ricky his triggering comes from the moment he sees two nuns walking, window shopping. He begins freaking out and when he spots a red satin piece of clothing. His mind flashes back to the shooting of his brother and the dark blood stained suit.

But this nun. The good nun, who tried helping him and his brother. Helps keep him with this family, and they give Ricky another chance.

Which works out it seems. He has two loving parents. They were good to him, and raised him the best they could. It isn’t until the passing of his stepfather that he takes some time to himself. He enjoys nice quiet walks on his own, giving him time to think, to reflect. Also to stumble onto a couple having the most awkward picnic of all picnics. Remember the awkward assault from the first film? Get ready for that to be out done.

He finds a couple having a nice chat and a few laughs on their picnic blanket. The man decides its makeout time. Eddy the pig, tells his lady friend she’s going to need a new shirt, because he sees something he likes, pointing out her large breast. So she calls him a pig. Eddy the pig proceeds makeout and informs her she needs to tell him she wants it, if she wants to get it. So she tell shim calmly, and politely. “I do want it, I just don’t want it right now. So please lets wait.”

Which he respects and obeys, not one bit. He forces her down, smothers her in kisses. Rips open her shirt, smothers her breast with his face. States how much he likes this, how exciting this is. She manages to fight him off and slap him to which….he calls her a bitch, stands up and says “I need a beer” so he takes off to his jeep for said beer. Leaving her shaken and dealing with the fact her boyfriend just tried to rape her and left casually for a beer.

Don’t worry this leads to a great moment. Truly great. Amazing even.

Ricky, without skipping a beat states “Naughty!” and jumps into the mans jeep. Backing it up which knocks Eddy the Pig over, and then drives forward over him. Then backs up over him. Then forward again. Then Back. Several times!

But this time. THIS TIME!!! The girlfriend sees this happen, he makes eye contact with her and…..she says ‘Thank you’, So he leaves and leaves her be.

So Ricky fast forwards his life. To living on his own, working as a dishwasher. Spotting a man beating up a poor guy in an ally that owes them money. So Ricky again, with the oil of Olivia says that magic word we all should know and love. “Naughty!” So another one bites the dust.

This time though, he has no car. But what he does have? Is an Umbrella-ella-ella. He impales a man, on a red and white striped umbrella. Go Ricky!

In fact, this leads to the best thing in the movie. The rest of this movie is set to epic status at this exact moment.

Ricky a few years later, finds himself a girlfriend. She’s attractive, sweet, really likes him and heck, he really digs her too! Even better though? She’s not Naughty! Even if they get naked and rub genitals together. It’s consensual and good, not naughty!

However, there is trouble. You see. It was his first time. He also thought it was her first time. But alas. It was not to be.

So great Scene in Happy Ricky’s life. Two men in a theater are heckling as he and his girlfriend enjoy the start of their movie. He’s got murder in his eyes. But his lady friend is content on snuggling him, telling him she really ‘really’ likes him. Like she like likes him. Which is ruined by the great line from one of the bullies “Well what are you waiting for studly? Kiss her!” Which he doesn’t as he gets upset and gets called a ‘faggot’ for it, to which his girlfriend smiles and hugs his arm “Well, we both know that isn’t true.”

So Ricky decides okay, screw this, let’s watch the movie. So he ask her what the movie is about.

Get ready for it. “Oh, the movie is about a guy who dresses in a Santa suit and goes around killing people!” And when the screen shows the film? You guessed it. They’re showing more scenes from the original movie.

Of course this upsets Ricky so he walks off. Giving another theater creep a chance to go up to Ricky’s lady and chat her up. SURPRISE!! This man is a former boyfriend of hers. So he has to talk to her about possibly hooking up again. Meanwhile behind them, Ricky pays a visit to the man talking through the film, says his catchphrase line and strangles the man. Another victory for Ricky, but a defeat for his lady friend.

Leaving us with one more golden moment in the theater “Hey Ricky, let’s go” No, I’m beginning to like this picture.

And here we come. To the scene the internet has made into a meme. The Meme of memes.

Walking along with his lady friend, they happen to run into her ex, working on his red car. More classic lines says you? Deliver them the film does, says I “If I had known you’d sink this low, I wouldn’t have broken up with you.” “How could you forget the good times, at prom, in the back seat of my car, the hotel.”  So Ricky goes full Hulk on the former boyfriend, using the car battery wires to electrocute him. Which the girlfriend tells him was wrong, and he’s twisted for doing so. So Ricky says “Punish!” And her response? Call for help? Scream? Beg for her life? Nope. She says “Uh oh” turns and gets strangled.

But there is a cop nearby! The fine people of this neighborhood are saved! He tells Ricky to stay where he is, Put his hands up aaand Ricky kills him, taking his gun. A man walking out ask ‘Hey whats all the noise?!” So Ricky  shoots him declaring the man a motherfucker. Then here comes the moment you all waited for, and the internet brought you here for. Ricky sees a neighbor carrying their trashcan out to the street corner. To which he stares at them, wide eyed and says..wait for it…..”GARBAGE DAY!” and shoots the man. He strolls down the neighborhood shooting all the naughty people and punishing them as he goes. Until he runs out of bullets at least, which is where the cops fin dhim. Tell him to Drop his weapon, and he responds by laughing evily and tries blowing his own brains out. Until he realizes the gun is empty.

Which leads us to his being interviewed by the doctor. Who NOW IS DEAD! He strangled him with the recorded tapes of his interview! He just can’t be stopped or slowed down! So he escapes and that leads us to the last what the hell is going on moment of the film!

Mother Superior. Now living on her own in an apartment. Sits in her wheelchair, receiving a phone call from Ricky telling her that “Santa is back” which makes little sense to her. But the wtf of the scene? Somehow, at some point. We have no idea why, when, or how. The mother Superior was scarred across the left side of her face. Either from a fire, or she came down with the plague.  We will never know.

But this is our final showdown of the film. Mother F’n Superior VS Ricky Santa!

For a woman in a wheelchair in her 60’s this lady gets around! Ricky, armed with his brothers trademark red Axe takes off on a game of cat and mouse. Nearly catching her several times. Infact even getting his axe stuck in her chair, but she tumbled free and…to a spare chair waiting for her downstairs. But then comes the final moment. She’s got herself a knife. He’s got an Axe. She tells him to come face her! That he’s weak and she’s not afraid of him, that like his brother. He must be punished! She is NOT going down without a fight!So just as they face off, Her telling him he’s naughty and to put down his axe and take his punishment. He declares ‘Naughty this!!” and….

We cut to police arriving with the good nun to the apartment, heading up the stairs to hunt down Ricky. Finding Mother Superior in her chair.

DEAD! Her head rolling off of her shoulders. Ricky ready to kill again, until he follows truly in his brothers foot steps. Getting shot down by the police.

The nun being told everything is alright, she’s save, it’s over! Only to turn her head to the decapitated head of mother superior and screaming bloody murder. Which makes Ricky open his eyes and smile.

ROLL CREDITS!!

So. How. How does a movie that consist of 60% of the original movie? Hell that’s being conservative. Maybe more like 70%. How does a movie recycling the original stand beside the original?

Because the absolute silliness of it, the barebones story. The fact it literally. Truthfully was made by a producer THEE producer stating to the editors to ‘Make a sequel out of the first film and this stuff” and somehow they managed. The actor playing Ricky sold this over the top craziness on a level few ever reach. It’s infinitely quotable and fun. Especially with friends and alcohol. Lots of one over the other.

It’s fun, It manages to stand up on its own with a barebones story, and the kills are worth it.

This is another one of those from my childhood films I never saw the original, or its sequel. I actually saw the horrible one they did as a sort of Pinnochio remake. With sex, and it was weird as hell.

But I remember these from my childhood because of, well like most people who grew up with video stores. The cover art.

Posters back then were always a sight to see. These were no exception. I remember cardboard cut outs of the snowy rooftop, a chimney and a santa sleeved arm holding an ace. I always saw it, new the title of the movie. But never got to rent it. Family looked at it and somehow new better.

The sequels art wasn’t as dark. It was a Christmas ornament with the killers face and a gun. Less scary in fact. But it always stuck with me. So I have a spot in my heart for it. Especially after finally experiencing the movie, and its sequel.

Check it out, have some laughs, and experience cinematic gold. It’s beyond worth it. It’s damn near required viewing.