Day 18 INSIDIOUS & INSIDIOUS 2

How to describe these trainwrecks of surprise

Go to a music store, and pick up a violin.Or find a friend who has a violin.

Inform said friend/music store owner you have spent time playing the violin.

The moment they are dumb enough to trust you with this instrument, immediately take the bow and ram it in every direction as quickly, unapologetically and with no care for the sensitivity of the human ear or the delicate gift we call sound.

That will, for the most part sum up these movies.

You also have just adequately done a spot on remastering of the soundtrack for this franchise.

Now. I will not fight people on this franchise. It is a hard sell. Not because they’re horrible. No, god no.

The films are just good enough, that they’re worth watching, do setup some good scares, and the stories are pretty well thought out. It’s just someone behind them not following through with the full potential of the material until the 3rd one, and deciding it’s better to go backwards with the story, versus forward.

It’s frustrating because there is an enjoyable movie there. But they kind of fumble things, especially by the time we end part 2 and part 3 goes it’s on way, though gloriously. Part 4 just….shit the bed and smeared it everywhere.

But the first two, on their own are a good start and end point. Which is why I chose to include them here. So lets dig into what happens when you indulge the ego of your composer and dress him up in darth maul cosplay for your demon movie.

INSIDIOUS

After your ears are delicately forced into uncomfortable fornication, we are told the title of this film, and left to a nice montage of seemingly nice house shots, with spoopy ghost inserted into them! Scary stuff!!

So the story goes as thus. A perfectly normal family moves into a perfectly normal house with absolutely nothing wrong with it. With two perfectly normal sons and a baby sister who is also totes normal.

No seriously. There is for once in 18 of these reviews. Absolutely nothing wrong with the house or the people in it. They move in, ready to start their lives off on a new foot. We have a mother who writes music, father who teaches at a school, and their son who enjoys doodling and generally being a not that annoying kid. They’re still in the process of unpacking. Which Is a solid gripe about this family. Their ability to unpack things they brought with them, is nearly none existent. Seriously the process of moving books is treated like moving a couch on your own.

So mother and son get a good deal of bonding time, and we learn from their sons drawing and discussions with his dad that his dreams sometimes are amazing, but also scare him. He talks about being able to dream and see himself, and flying around the house. And a few things that stand out as an active imagination but nothing to worry much about.

Until one night while putting away some things in the attic, he stumbles and begins to hear. See something rather frightening. It’s a sound of branches being bent and creaking almost. And it terrifies him.

It also scares the family finding their son mortified and not know why or what.

Things pick up when the very next day the boy, refuses to wake up. He’s slipped into a coma! Unexplained but devastating all the same.

This is where things get weird, and good. For us. Not for them. This family is FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED.

So things, many different and creepy things, begin happening with the family. It’s been 3 months and their son’s condition remains unchanged. The mother begins losing bits of her sanity here and there when she starts hearing voices. Even more unsettlingly, voices often heard from the baby monitor.  Unlike AMITYVILLE horror, we don’t see a pigs head with glowing red eyes at any time. Instead we see Tommy Wiseau ghost standing outside the window beside the baby. Mom screams.

Fast forward a bit and mom is seeing things again. Tommy Wiseau ghost pacing back and fourth and then attacking her! Damnit Tommy why, WHY?! What did this family do?!!

But that’s not spoopy enough. What IS however, and the moment the mom flips her shit for real, is when mom while changing her sons sheets, finds them stained with much and bony elongated finger marks. Which she shares with her husband once he comes home late from work again and she suspects either an affair is afoot, or he just doesn’t want to deal with them now.

Either way he now too is beginning to get freaked out as well. So much so that the family says F U to the spookies in their house and move to, another house. Oh the lifestyle of those fortunate enough to afford that.

So mom is happier, well as happy as one can be still caring for their unresponsive son still very much in his coma. So in their perfectly normal house, recharging their perfectly normal life, crazy shit happens again! This time in the form of Tiny Tim! That talented madman of American folk songs is blaring out on hells radio and the little dutch boy who fingered a dike is dancing a madmans jig in her living room!

Normal this is not!!

So unable to move to a third house to satisfy his wife. She instead leans on her mother in law to listen to her troubles, the two bond and the mom, hearing of their troubles, she informs the mother that she had her own reason for coming over. She had a vision, or a hangover. And she thought she saw a red weird darth maul looking man in their sons room. So she grew concerned and decided to pop on by. This concerned the mother as well, obviously!

The mother in law tells her story to her son and his wife. We get a dark shadowed glimpse of this figure and hear her shakily tell us how she asked it what it wants, and how it pointed to their son.

Soon after relaying this information we hear that familiar twisting crackling noise, giving us one of the films better jump scare moments. A balding film composter in Zabrak face paint mouth agape and staring wild eyed. And then WHAM sudden noises and another ear piercing attempt at playing the violin while on speed. The family rush to the boys room and discover everything around it completely tossed and or destroyed.

So now, having experienced a beastly vision, seeing this thing behind her grown ass son. Her sons wife having her own visions, and ghostly visitors. The mom decides it’s time to call down the thunder and bring in a spiritual hippy. We’ll call her Easy E.

So mom brings Easy E over to drop down some hard truth’s for her grown ass son.

Apparently as a boy he was haunted by a super nasty ugly ass woman in black that wanted to claim him, or kill him. A killer ghost that appeared closer and closer to him in many photos, which they show him to support their story and sell it to him.

Now, this is the part we need you to forget Poltergeist was a thing, and just go with it.

Easy E tells him that he imparted a gift to his son. Apparently father and son had the unique gift of being able to a astral project himself. It’s here that she begins describing another plane of existence. A plain where the dead walk and wonder. Where if you call out to them, they might here. But if you astral project yourself, it’s like driving a benz through the hood and stopping near MLK . Your ride gonna get stolen jack!

So his son, being able to do this, caught the attention of nearby ghost. But more spookily though. The films composter in his goatman zabrak cosplay. Well okay actually he’s a demon. Which puts him above the ghost and therefore allowed him to take their sons soul, while keeping his body trapped.

Now knowing this, and likely wishing he was downing a 40 of Old E, the dad decides it is time to roll out from the world of the living, and head into this new dimension strapped and ready to blast a path to his son.

So daddy does just that. Sinking into his over stuffed dad chauir, and off he goes. Roaming through a fog filled half empty studio, half house looking place. Crossing many creepy ghost, and eventually finding the films composer and more importantly his son.

Now I know you might think I’m joking calling the demon the films composer. But I’m not. It IS the films composer playing the red faced man.

Which might explain the ungodly violin beating music.

So now aware that there is two mortal souls in his realm. The demon decides it’s time to make his move. See a body without a soul, is someone leaving the car running. So the demon begins making a mad rush to find and trap the boy AND take his body.

Both father and son begin running for their lives, flipping off the dead as they do so, until they finally make their way back to their house. Well the ghost realm version of it at least.

This also, it should be noted. Is where the dad has a lapse in reasoning in an otherwise solid state of mind.

But that goes out the window when the dad decides; Yes we are being chased by a demon trying to take over my sons body, and MAY try and take over mine. YES it’s a veritable race against time. The stakes have never been more dire. But the dad passes by the familiar lady in black ghost that haunted him as a kid and he was made to forget about growing up. So this means the dad needs to have a personal moment where he stares at the ghost and repeatedly shouts at it how he’s not afraid of her anymore. Which the ghost laughs at and flips a west side sign and yeets out of there.

So did the son make it in time? YES! The son accomplished his mission and narrowly escape the demon faced musician. The dad ALSO makes it back.

But wait, did he really? Because it seems like he did. Everyone is excited and hugging and Easy E seems content with the results. Except something seems off. Easy E doesn’t feel like the dad is the one cruising down the street in his 64. So Easy pulls out a camera and POP POP POP, snaps off some pictures and oh snap a doodle! The lady in black took over his body! Don’t be comin up in the hood with that weak ass game! They’ll jack your body son!!

So the ghost lady strangles Easy E and we are left with the wife discovering the body and picking up the camera from Easy’s dead hand. We see a look of shock on her just as her not-husband lots a comforting hand on her shoulder and….ear rape music! Film ends!

Super creepy for the uninitiated, and then a bit silly at the end. But promising spooky returns should a sequel take place. So….what now?

INSIDIOUS 2 The Rise of Easy E

So the sequel opens with a flashback of the dad from the first film as a little boy, We’re now seeing the night Easy E fought the lady in black and scared her off to a forever hiding spot. It’s a genuinely well done, and arguably pretty creepy scene.

From there we begin the movie, which picks up immediately where the first one ended. But this time we see what the mother saw in the camera. The grim visage of the lady in black. We also get a completely believable reaction to the dead body. The cops get involved and the dad is questioned over the possibility he killed her. Which he takes great offence over.

As a ghost naturally would after being called out for killing Easy E

So the cops wait for further evidence and let them go. The family, now with their soul traveling son, his brother, and baby sister, begin resuming their semi normal lives, in a questionably normal home. The first home the moved out of in the first film and where everyone knows a lady was strangled to death in.

So things aren’t what we’d call, a dream. The wife is doubting she has her husband, the boys also have some odd questions, and. We also spend some time with Easy E’s running crew. Beardo and glasses.

These two people served as her ghost crew in the first film. They also offered comic relief, to a degree. I didn’t mention them earlier because the main focus was the spookiness in the house. But here, they get tons more screen time.

Beardo and glasses are dealing with the loss of their boss and spiritual meal ticket. Easy E. But they soon realize all is not well. While visiting her home they hear spooky happenings which lead them to her special séance room. They know now, she is trying to contact them!

Which leads to another new character this time around. The dice man, rollin bones for the spirts to speak! He’s a good friend of Easy E and they may have bumped uglies at some time. Who knows, juries still out.

So even though things seem to be back to somewhat normal status. There is still spooky stuff happening. Which should not be the case. Music starts playing randomly in the house, Their baby girl somehow ends up on the floor outside of her crib. The boys hear other spooky ghost as well. NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME!

Even dad with his ghost lady. There’s constantly an argument of some kind going on with them, and everyone starts to take notice.

Meanwhile Dice man has joined up with Beardo and Glasses to help Easy E find their killer and help the family from the first film one last time. But to do so, they need to understand this nasty spirit and discover who they were. Which leads them on some truly spooky encounters and locations. It is NOT fun, I believe I said already no one here is having fun. They’re either having visions of bad things, getting slapped around by bad things,

Through their investigations, digging and snooping through old musty buildings, the world of the living and the world of the dead. We discover the ‘Woman in black’ is actually a man in black. They’d dress as a woman and kill women. Hiding the bodies.  Between that pile of evidence, the wife also has her own. She finally identifies the music she keeps hearing ghost playing in the house. She tries playing it for her husband but he doesn’t understand why it seems important to her. As it turns out, and as she informs him. It was a song she wrote specifically for him, and he knew. But now seems not to. Dads acting sus!

Armed with this news it’s time to get the hell outta dodge and take care of the possessed father!

So Glasses, Beardo and Dice man decide to go old school, ride or die for Easy E, Ghost buster for life, till the blood leaves their bodies! They plan to dose up and knock out the possessed dad, Which doesn’t work. They try also tasing them. Which also doesn’t work. In fact they all fail spectacularly. The fact they weren’t murdered right there is insane. But the ghost felt bad for them, and seems to prefer killing ladies anyway. Which leads to our concluding battle!!

Mother in law returns to help mom escape the mad house that is her home, again. With her family! A-again. But this time without the husband! But the husband, having dealt with the spirit busters knows something is up. So a new battle begins! Dad takes his mom out with a hip check into a closet and goes after their kids and wife. Nearly getting them too! But meanwhile, in the spirit world, We have a royal rumble of ghost. We have the son from the first film who was in the spirit world, volunteering this time to enter the spirit world and look for their father Where he meets up with Dad, Dice man and Easy E! All ready to battle it out. NO HOLDS BARRED!! Actually no. They discover the Woman in Blacks mom ,abusing her son and leading him to killing women. Then Easy E bust out the ghost-B-gone and pops the Lady in Black. JUST as the possessed father was about to choke out his family.

So now. Everyone can return to their bodies. Well everyone BUT Easy. The family recants how they managed to give signs to one another The dad’s spirit playing the song his wife wrote for him, Even going as far as going back to his past as a kid when Easy E got rid of the lady in Black the first time, to drop signs to himself. It sounds complicated, it may not make sense really. But its cool honestly. The film set up a lot of moments from the first film, In this movie. Using it as a way to show the lengths the ghost went to talk to one another and try to give warnings, Explaining some of the moments in the first movie that were believed to be the bad ghost, but in truth were good ghost. It’s a really clever setup and pay off.

It also helps push this movie to stand as an equel to the original. Even if it carries, admittedly. The same problems the original one did. A great premise, good story. Good scares. But the fumble at the end.

Which is the one real issue I have with this movie and I wish the 3rd film actually followed through on what they setup.

The film ends with Beardo and Glasses visiting a girl who had problems with ghost hauntings. The two are now armed with the knowledge Easy E is riding with them in spirit form. So they roll up to this families house, Immediately their little girl notes she can see Easy E as a ghost, which makes her happy. The two ghost hunters explain to the parents why they are there as Easy E goes through the house and discovers the girl she was after. A troubled silent girl she tries communicating with. Until she starts hearing something. Twisting cracking branches again, And just behind the girl we see a darkened room corner and figure. The camera focuses on Easy E and ends with her stammering out “Oh..my..god.” and BAM roll credits.

Part three could’ve done REALLY well, and it did pretty good. It was genuinely scarier than the previous two movies. It had some moments that truly got to me and put me at an unease.

However part three was made to be a prequel. Easy E is alive and well. She hasn’t started her ghost hunting service with Beardo and Glasses. Instead she’s a retired medium who stopped giving readings sometime after her husband died, and she was attacked by the lady in Black. So she ends up helping out a girl trying to contact her mother. But ends up contacting an evil ghost. It’s still a good movie. But damnit, I want what they setup!

I mean seriously how cool would it be for a ghost expert who had true power of ghost and demons while alive. To now be at the whim of demons, having to now fight one. It would be epic. But alas no go. They made a prequel, and then shit out part 4 which was yet another prequel and a look into Easy E’s childhood. No one liked it, no one saw it. We likely will never get the followup we all wanted.

These two movies are still great. They tell a story beginning to end, a real end. The movies had good scares and great payoffs. It’ s worth checking out and so is the third one. Seriously there are some great scares. I didn’t include them because. Well the first two tell a complete story that the third just doesn’t. But still. Check them out, you’ll enjoy them.