Day 2 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1 & 2

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ

No that's not you shuffling through your underwear and accidentally triggering your vibrator but someone's done it.

Back to sequels that hold up to the original or outdue them I had to go back and watch these two. For a few reasons. Mainly? Oingo Boingo. But also. These two fall into the 'when were you born' category. When I was a kid I like most my age saw the sequel first, before I saw the original. But others saw the first THEN the sequel. Sort of the same with the Freddy films. Either you were around for part one and loved it, or your first Nightmare was Dream Warriors. You'll love them both, but you saw one before the other I promise.

So the oldie but goldie standard in testing your friends on the 'When does it get good' scale. I'm not saying it's bad! But I am saying it definitely takes some time for things to kick, but once they do. It kicks. So kids down in Texas decide to visit an old farm house belonging to one of their families and hang out for the summer. They pick up a wonderfully friendly hitchhiker who discusses the pros and cons of animal treatment in a slaughter house, and practices the fine art of photography while entertaining a friendly man in a wheelchair named Franklin.

Franklin......

Never before, in the halls of horror has their existed a character, an actor even. Who was so unlikable and you couldn't help but enjoy the suffering of before. The movie is classic for many reasons. The sudden and violent beginning of "Shit just got real" when the teens enter a nearby house(Because entering strange peoples houses is totes not a crime what could go wrong) and end up regretting it, to the false claim this is the bloodiest goriest film made at the time. Truth is they used 8-12oz if fake blood. And a tablespoon of actual blood.

Yes watch during the 'dinner scene' toward the end when they cut the actresses finger, its a real knife and they actually cut her. They were filming in a house with 104 temp outside, she kept messing the scene up so the actor actually cut her to get a believable scream and end the scene. AH the good ole days! It was the first of its kind and people thought it was a documentary. Any stories you hear of it actually happening are because Leatherface the man with a people mask and wonderful chainsaw dancing skills was based loosely off of Ed Gein, as was the skeleton furniture.

That's all I wanna say about that because everyone knows THAT movie! Joe Bob Briggs wrote a HUUUUUUUGE piece on the film covering its full history. BUT. How many of us know the amazing pants crapping insane sequel?!

OINGO BOINGO TIME BABY!!

This movie is the polar opposite and spot on sibling of its older brother. There IS no waiting for shit to happen. You want insanity? This goes there. But Donnie, you ruggedly handsome purveyor of alcohol and terrible porn you ask, what insanity do you speak of? Well I shall tell you.

Did you ever think you'd see a woman being flirted with by a thrusting chainsaw between her legs? You will!

Ever imagine seeing a guy with a metal plate on his head itching at and eating bits of his own scalp as he itched it with a coat hanger? Got you covered fam!

How about helping a man put on his severed face only to have a murder who's kinda into you put on the face and try to get close to you? You got it!

Like chainsaws? Like chainsaw fights?! HOW ABOUT COKED UP DENNIS HOPPER DUEL WIELDING CHAINSAW FIGHTING?!!!

YOU GET IT ALL!!!!

If Texas Chainsaw Massacre was the Vicodin of horror for your friends, This one is the crystal meth.

A radio DJ in Texas gets an obscene call from two possible weirdo criminals on the road, who then end up in a dance party with a chainsaw, a corpse, and Oingo Boingo, leading to the Sawyer family(yes they have a name) from the first film coming after this DJ for playing that murder on the radio. Dennis Hopper is a man hellbent on revenge, For what and whom? For everyone hating on his son from the first film FRANKLIN!! See?! Continuity!. Throw in a father dealing with trying to keep a murderous family together while defending his state Chili champion title, some female empowerment through gasoline fueled madness, and you got a classic that needs more love and attention.

Seriously this movie doesn't get a lot of love and it's sad. There's so much to enjoy in this, It's not the second coming of Christ by any means, it's not The Conjuring. But it's just pure 80's bliss and fun. It knows it is insane. It knows it was made on cocaine, but does it apologize? Never! It just revs itself up and goes there.

For being completely different from the original it still stands up with it toe to toe, punch for punch. Lots of classic scenes in this, some amazing one liners, and Bill Mosley. A true national treasure. Seriously Choptop is a heartwarming character you'll grow to love.

So there we have it. Two classic today. Check them out, both sound be free, and even better if you can watch the original over on Shudder and with the Joe Bob Briggs Last Drive-In segments. Seriously, check it out. But check them both out! You'll either enjoy the hell out of it, or you are still stuck wondering about the vibrator in the drawer.