Day 11 The FLY & The FLY 2!!!!

"When the film got to the dead exploded dog, Mel Brooks clapped his hands together and said 'Alright, who wants pizza?!"

That stuck with me from the documentaries on these films and I love it. As I love these films.Jeff Goldblum back in his younger days, much like his older days, was a fun and handsome actor.

I said it, no regrets.

One of the good cases of the remake surpassing the original, and the sequel holding its own against the remake.

The Fly is about a scientist afraid of everything outside his apartment, wanting to travel without having to deal with people and leaving his apartment. So he spends his time devoted to this cause and begins the creation of a teleporter.At a wine and cheese well-to-do party, he meets his in real life(at that time) girlfriend and ask her back to his place to see something that'll blow her mind. Remembering the last time a man said that to her, she leaves cautiously optimistic for his place. Upon arrival she sees he didn't actually mean sex, but meant his microwave looking teleportation vessels.

Which let's be honest, if you were going to be broken down on a molecular level and placed back together, why not do it in one of these? So does it work?Absolutely horrifyingly oh dear god in heaven no!Of course he doesn't test it on himself, instead he uses, well. Animals. The 80's, I tell ya. Eventually he discovers what was missing and Huzzah!!

He can now travel from the bedroom to the toilet, to the kitchen to the couch without effort! In fact the only effort he puts into anything is banging the reporter lady he brought over to show off his invention to.Which her boss doesn't approve of. Why? Well he used to have a thing with her, and he apparently doesn't understand what "It's over!" means, as he constantly flirts with her, tries to bang her, showers in her home, has a key to her home, and interferes with her new scientist relationship.So what goes wrong where and why?!Well, jealousy is a bitch.

Especially when you're drinking and believe the girl you like is off with her old ex, regardless what a douche rag he is. So as the internet wasn't around, and he couldn't shit post on twitter. He decides to run his teleporter on his own and....a fly decides it also wants to zip around the room. So the machine noticing two beings in the pod, becomes a waitress on the last stretch of her shift giving the equivalent action of "Sorry, that's not my table", seeing two different beings in the pod, the pod decides to morph them together. Because science is awesome!So after being merged with a fly, Jeff the Fly Goldblum begins to become more, energized, more athletic, sugar hungry and horny.

So Bezo's.

His girlfriend decides this is too much and tells him to chill out and try to hold back his feeling of awesome godlike abilities. Which he can't. Not because he doesn't trust her. But because his emotions fly(haha) from calm to pissed at random momentsSo when your girlfriend is afraid of you, and you walk around like you just snorted a key of coke, what do you do? Why go to a biker bar in pajamas and nearly rip a guys arm off in an arm wrestling competition, then bang a bar skank, naturally.Well banging isn't enough, he wants to give this girl MORE than sex. He wants to take her through the teleporter because of course why not. She understandably is upset by this and declines the invitation.

To which he reacts none happily too and tries dragging her into. Until his girlfriend returns, excuses the fact he banged a bar skank, and decides to lay some truth on him.While sleeping together she plucked a thick nose hair off his back. I say nose hair because any many who has ever dug into his nose and found that one hair. that ONE. MONSTER THICC HAIR. That's what she pulled out of him and tested. Only to discover it wasn't fully human DNA.So he takes it well, and both ladies leave. Until curiosity gets the girlfriend and she comes to check on him, only to discover the most gross, and unintentionally funny scene. A melting Jeff. He decides he is transforming and will soon die.

So he wants her to help him document all of this. To which she agrees, somewhat. It is gross, but it is fun. He fills his medicine cabinet with all his droppings. No not fecal matter, or pee. But fingernails, teeth, ears...the usual.Getting old sucks, but so does thisNow a lot of people believe he was using all of this as a metaphor for the AIDS pandemic at the time, but the director admitted that wasn't the case. Sure you can make the claim and read into it that way, but it's also a man terrified and turning into a killer fly. Which gets interesting.How? How can it get more interesting past losing all your teeth and having to vomit on your food in order to eat it? Which we see in full detail?Well his girlfriend, like most people in the 80's didn't use a condom, so she's carrying his seed.....baby....larva. Thing. Inside her.

She's got a thing in her lady parts.So the monster movie turns to another hot button issue, abortion.She wants this thing out of her, because who knows what it will be. Human, fly, pizza. No one knows. All she knows is she wants it gone. Which Jeff the Fly Goldblum decides isn't right, rather sadly in fact. He doesn't want her to destroy 'him'. She of course by now is completely afraid of him, who wouldn't be.So she thinks to reason this out over donuts and sugar, but before she can make the suggestion he takes her and flies off, no pun intended.Do they start a family together? No.Does they set aside their differences and fix things? No.Does her ex boyfriend get his foot and hand melted off and slurped up by a Jeff The Fly Goldblum? Oh yes.So Jeff The Fly Goldblum decides the reason they need to keep the baby is that, if he can take the last 'possible' sample of his pure DNA in baby form, he can become human again and cancel out the fly monster, or Brundlefly as he calls it.

So he pulls a Hail Mary play and it works out well.In the sense that it didn't work at all and his girlfriend escapes the pod and he mutates into a half fly, half human, half metallic pod creature who helps her point the barrel of a shotgun to his head to kill him.

Which she does.The movie was a hit, and also gross as hell to most. Which I enjoyed.It has some great lines and things to think about. One of my favorites from it is still: "I'm saying I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over" Cronenberg isn't for everyone, but he should be. It's a great film and deserving of the title classic.

The effects are top notch and hold up pretty well. But seriously it is pretty gross for some. Especially his fly puke.

So the sequel.

What about that gem?

Well it IS a gem damnit!

I will also state for the record this film has a special place with me. I watched it when it first came out on VHS. I called Blockbuster every hour on the hour until they said they had a copy available come in and my dad took me down to get it.I rushed to watch it and did so alone in the living room with our old golden retriever Lady. I was not ready for the scene with the dog, and what was done to the dog, and what was done later to the dog to end its suffering.

I was crying and hugging the dog, then after I went into full on enjoying the piss out of it.So what's it about?Well It opens with the lady from the first film, giving birth. They I believe hint that it was an unnatural birth cycle, But Brundle 2.0 is born looking normal as can be.With one exception. He's smarter than the average bear!So old man Scrooge McDuck keeps Brundle 2.0 locked up in a lab, with the hopes that, through stimulating his mind and giving him his fathers work, he can reproduce the technology.

But also keeping from him that he will die soon. Unfortunately his fathers DNA wasn't perfect and he will eventually die very young. So he lives the life of a boy in a bubble. Making friends wherever he can and totes trusting everyone. Which leads to the dog.He discovers a small lab with lots of doggos and kitty cats and the like. So he makes friends with a lab, in a lab.

They share good times, talks, and snacks. Of course this is done to ready you for the fact the dog will eventually be used horribly.

The boy gets to see his four legged friend put inside their version of the Brundle teleportation device and......the dog comes out mutated and attacks someone. The boy screams in terror alerting everyone to his presence and he demands to know what became of his poor friend. Well Scrooge McDuck tells him they put the dog down, so the matter is settled.

Buuuuuuuullshit it's settled!

As Brundle 2.0 grows into a teen he decides to go out and explore on his birthday, which leads him to discovering a very dark evil looking put, Which at the bottom of said pit, slithers out, whining and in pain the dog monster, to lap at its food bowl to be studied.

This rightfully upsets him. So not only does he learn his best furry friend isn't dead, but also how you can't trust old rich white men as well. So he takes it upon himself to enter the dogs room, the dog growls but soon recognizes him and comes for cuddles....which makes it even sadder. Because he holds a cloth over the dogs nose to help it pass by inhaling some poison, and the fucking movie has to of course have the dog whine and cry the whole time.

SO then we get a kitten!!!

#TeamFeline in the house!!!!!

But before we get a feline, we get another pussy. Well Brundle 2.0 does. He meets a lady who works in the lab and they become close good buddies. So much so he invites her to see his lab and the cool stuff he's making. Like teleportation tubies. So he takes a cactus of hers to show how it works and, it destroys and morphs her cactus.

But he wants to impress her and prove the tech works.

So he buys her a cat, because bitches love cats like they love cake. So he gives her the cutest of all kittens and she is super duper happy with it. Until he takes kitten away and puts it in the teleporter.

Oh god here we go again!So the kitten gets vanished with a short sad 'MEW!" but then. Emerges completely fine, so fine infact I'd go as far as calling it....Feline fine.So these two kids bang. Like lots, everywhere lots. In the teleporter, in a bedroom with secret old rich man cameras because privacy doesn't exist in this dojo. They bang until they realize old Scrooge McDuck has secret plans.

Scary plans.

So realizing this, Among other things. Brundle 2.0 puts a key encryption on the program and only one attempt is allowed before it'll delete all the work. He and his lady fair run off to freedom land and plan a life together. Until he begins turning into a human gremlin egg.To which she decides okay maybe we should return to the lab and help him. Which they don't want to do. Instead they want to inspect him and test him. But no one asked his consent!So Brundle 2.0 emerges as a full blown monster bad ass fly! Let the gore commence! People get tossed and torn apart, stomped on, smashed and everything inbetween.

It's goryglorious

I tell ya!

But how does it end? Does he eat a shotgun like his dad before him? Does he save the cats and dogs?!Well he unlocks the program and has a new plan. He tells the machine to get ready for teleporting himself and...old Scrooge McDuck!!! The machine needed a human DNA sample and if his calculations are better than his dads were. Then the pod should seperate the fly genetics from himself and transport them to the other human host.

Which it sorta does?

But in a horrific and terrifying way.

So the lady gets to keep boning human Brundle 2.0 in a free no cameras with out consent land. While Scrooge McFucked up, kept alive.

Now occupies the same dark prison like room they kept the deformed doggo in and HE has to eat his food from bowls now! And the last thing we see, is a human eye staring widely at a fly that landed on the rim of his food bowl.The sequel wasn't as loved as the original as it contained far more gore and horror than it did anything else.

It did have a cameo of all three main cast members from the original.

Jeff The Fly returns in video tape format to pass on what he learned about his metamorphosis,

His mother is scene a few times giving birth to him, and even melted hand and leg ex boyfriend appears to give Brundles girlfriend some good dating advice.

It's a loyal sequel and more than worthy addition. It furthered the story left from the first, it didn't retcon anything and it holds up well. The effects are pretty damn scary and well done. The movie deserves more love I feel but alas, the critics were not so kind and people saw it as more of a meh. But time has given the film room to find its audience and people embrace it as a good followup and loyal sequel. So of course check it out, its a fun watch. Even if I spoiled everything. Argue if you must, but this film is just as good as the first.