Found Footage February Day 9 Devil's Pass

Day 9

Devil’s Pass

One of my favorite documentary topics, and an interesting story to look up sometime as well, the Dyatlov Pass Incident.

It’s a pretty fascinating thing and sad. How 9 people all died the way they did. The story keeps changing on how it occurred. The main theory is they died during an avalanche. But the day search parties went up the mountain and looked over the camp site, none of the experts agreed with that. They all said there was no sign of an avalanche. Which raised more questions. People have claimed Yetis, Aliens, Government nuclear testing, and madness. A lot of things didn’t add up and still really don’t. So it’ll remain a topic that every so often gets picked up again and someone decides THEY have solved the mystery at long last.

It's just an interesting subject and one I really get into. I’m actually in the middle of reading a book by Will Jordon, known on youtube as The Critical Drinker, his book Dark Harvest uses this as its backdrop.

So when I saw there was found footage film about the Dyatlov Pass? Your damn right I put it immediately on my list. So I figured why not jump into it? Will it be good? Will I regret it? Maybe, lets find out. I won’t say ‘how bad could it be?’, because much like Emperor Palpatine said when tempting fate “Can this day get any worse?” Well he got thrown down an air shaft by Vader so. Let’s not curse this film and give it a go. Yeah? Yeah.

So warm up your hot chocolate and place your bets!

Actually hot chocolate sounds good, I have a few ways I really love making it so I’ll share them through the review. Maybe. We’ll see.

The Film

I will start this off by getting out of the way that I shall NOT be expecting hillbillies of the Russian mountaints, nor shall I think gopniks were involved in this. So just wanted that out of the way first.

As for the actual film well.

We begin with the basic story behind the infamous Dyatlov Pass. In February 1959, nine Russian hukers ventured into the wilderness of the Ural Mountains and two weeks later they all had died. We are now about to meet our group of trekkers who look to follow the same path for, reasons of science. We first me Holly from the University of Oregon. She’s telling us how her and her buddy Jenson upon hearing how a group of scientist went out to try and solve the mystery only to fail, when presented the opportunity to do a project on Dyatlov by their professor. They applied for a grant and decided to do a film about it. Their grant was approved and the pieces are being set for their own disaster.

Which also means dropping some nice little bits and pieces about the actual events and why it puzzled people. Such as all 9 people being experienced hikers and some of the very odd choices the party made which didn’t add up to those of experiences hikers. It’s a fun and subtle way to give us background information as I am sure they’ll be giving much more of once their documentary project goes barreling into the snow, but back to our crew. Her buddy Jenson is the cameraman for this project so we’ll be hearing him off screen, and we will hear him rather clearly thanks to the sound work of our next crew member, Denise Evers. Thankfully these people were smart enough to know they need help if they’re going to trek up a mountain in the snow let alone anywhere in a place that lives and breathes with snow like no other can imagine. SO they hired two experiences trackers and climbers. Andy, and his hetero lifemate JP.

So they were not fooling around. These are college kids and they are not wanting to end up a youtube clip, or devoured in the snow by Yeti’s. They had their guides train them to hike and ski in the snow using local mountains. They got use to cold climates and traied through them. They gathered rations and supplies. MRE meals, lube, various fire starters, warm clothes, books on cannibalism, medical kits, rope and gummy bears. These kids are ready to face whatever comes their way. Their tracking hiking guides have both given them thumbs up and their training montage has ended with everyone ready to eat lightning and crap thunder!

And then a news report tells us they all died.

Well at least missing and presumed super duper dead.

As we skip to a Russian news report letting us know that three days after the group went missing in the Ural Mountains, rescue efforts went into full effect. But to no avail.

So that didn’t take long, and I probably shouldn’t have laughed as hard as I did after they detailed all their hard work and training, just for the film to do a hard cut showing us they all went missing. But were I am, still chuckling about it.

So of course, you have local authorities who claim they reviewed footage found on the site they last made camp and won’t release it to the public. Because the iron curtain and Russia still being ran by secrets, so leave it to the only cringe thus far in the film to source us the material we will be investing in over the next hour and 20 minutes. A group of hackers calling themselves “Conspira-Leaks” have obtained the footage and leaked it online for all to see.

Conspira-Leaks…

Kinda wished they’d workshopped that one a little more but I won’t hold it against them, just sayin. It is certainly a name.

From the site we cut to a very spoilery shot of the video, where we see Jenson and Holly in a dark spot, Holly crying about how sorry she is, and how they won’t be getting out of this alive, it’s just like her dream and they are going to die.

Well isn’t that sweet.

So with that, we are beginning our video trip, as the group are getting to know one another on the train ride over. Skipping the plane ride and airport, and going straight to the train. They aint from Russia, but these bitches are rushin….THANK YOU!

I’ll give the film this much. It’s a beautifully shot look at a beautiful place. I love snowy mountains and towns. Loved being in Alaska seeing that, and especially waking up every morning for a while in France to see similar in places. Just very beautiful and something that vastly surpasses snow here. It’s a nice but quick look at the lives of people out there and I enjoy it.

However things gotta get going! So our intrepid group is off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of fiction. As they are headed off to interview(hopefully) Piotr Karov, a man who was too sick to travel with the original group who trekked the Ural Mountains and began this mystery. He was committed in the name of insanity and for 30 years has been kept in a hospital.

This is not true, as no such person exist, sorry to say, but even if they did exist, it’s worth a talking too sure, but they wouldn’t exactly hold any keys to solving a mystery surely. I am also pointing this out because this is where the movie gave me ‘this is gonna be annoyingly dumb’ vibes. Not for creating a fictional character. But the attitude of the group. Though it is I guess, as I learned the phrase in Europe. Very American.

Something I came to hate in France for the months I was there, were other Americans. Not all Americans mind you. Just very specific ones. One thing I really came to enjoy over there, was the fact that when you ate at a restaurant, café, anywhere. You’ll love imagining this. The waitstaff? Leave you alone. You aren’t constantly being bugged if you need something else, if you need your drink refilled, how the meal’s going. Is the food okay, do you want the desert menu, need boxes. Nothing. They seat you, give you a few minutes to decide on food and drinks. Serve you, clean your plates, and you come up to them when your ready to pay and leave. That’s it. It’s so nice having quiet and being left alone. But also being able to chat and not be disturbed. They understand that, so they leave you be to relax.

The only time that was ever broken, was by other Americans. Loud tourist who walk into a place, talk louder than anyone else there, modify every item on the menu, and laugh about having to explain things to the waiters.

It was always annoying, ticked me off, and made me question what it was about other Americans. Where you have to question, they realize they are visiting another country yes? That things work differently, and how it’s nice if you try to learn a tiny bit of the language to at least say can you help, or I am American. Instead of just assuming they must speak English and also assuming they will prepare your food special just the way you like it back home, versus how it’s put on the menu for simplicities sake.

I just….anyway.

They arrive at the hospital to interview dear elderly Piotr. Only to have three orderlies march out and immediately tell them in Russian to get the hell out of there, to stop filming immediately and please leave. It’s cringy in that Jenson our Cameraman, says in a very unnatural way, and assures no help will be offered or given “Come on Ivan! The cold wars over, we’re friends now”, like dude……dude.

Like in the 90’s you heard jokes from people gambling in Monte Carlo and loud Americans arguing with French saying shit like “If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking German right now!”, in a 90’s comedy, it was funny. In a horror movie, you are establishing yourself as an awkward asshole.

A skater dude saw me headed toward my car and I saw him ask someone for money so I knew what to expect, they called out to me once, I said nothing, the next time they called out to me they said “Hey dickhead wait up”, so I turned around, not pissed because, being a bald guy I’ve heard that one from employees. I said hey whats up. The guy asked for a few bucks to use the bus. I knew how much the bus ran for in the area, so I decided to give it to him, but not before asking him if the best approach to ask me for money was to call me a dickhead. He laughed and apologized telling me he didn’t want to say hey badly or hey skinhead, so he thought I likely knew what he meant. I told him fair enough and gave him bus money. Guy thanked me, apologized and took off right for the bus stop.

If he just called me a dickhead, asked for money, and asked whats the problem when I asked him what I had, it’d be a different situation. Point is, think about what you say, and don’t be a dickhead in a country you are visiting. You are a guest, and guest can be made to leave.

Well Jenson isn’t the only dickhead. Holly is also joining in. As one Orderly tells them ‘no cameras, stop filming’, she gets in their face and tells them to repeat that so she has it on film, that they are denying them to film. She mentions who they came to interview and the man tells them he died, and ask them all to kindly fuck right off.

So the group is naturally confused and upset now, until they notice a very old man in an upstairs window of the hospital looking down on them. He holds a sign with Russian writing on it to the window, and soon after is escorted off by two large men. The group immediately assumes this is their old man and the smell of cover up farts its way out of the anus of conspiracies in front of their cold faces.

Which means its time to get a drink.

Our group makes way to a local bar near by and they inform the bartender they are going to be badass Americans making their way up into the mountains. So the bartender decides to treat them to a special traditional drink wishing them luck on their journey. It’s essentially homemade vodka in a blank bottle. Samogon. It’s something I’m familiar with and we will leave it at that.

It also so happens this drink was had by Dyatlov and his group the night before they set out as well. So of course they will partake in this tradition. They also come across a friendly bar patron named Sergei.

Which proves impressively fortunate as. He offers to take them up to the pass, why? Is he going to axe murder these shitty Americans? No. He is visiting his mother, Alya. Even luckier? Alya was one of the first responders of the search team that went out looking for Dyatlov and his group. So hey. Moonshine and a breakthrough interview.

It’s a very interesting interview honestly. As it’s setting up things for us even more so.

Skipping the bar drinking and the fact Jenson is a huge jackass who can’t help himself but act cartoonishly shitty. The group setup and interview Alya. Who tells them where they found each of the 9 party members, how she felt something off on the mountain, they all did, and she walked off to get away from the site and the dead. As she did. She discovered two other bodies. Claiming something horrible had happened to them, they looked far worse than the other 9 did, and beside one of them was a very odd machine she’d never seen before or since. They correct her about that, by reminding her that there was only 9 hikers in that group. Not 11. But in the politest way a sweet elderly woman can. She smiles and tells Holly to shut the fuck up, she knows what she saw, and there were 11 bodies.

The mystery yo. She deepens.

To help add to things and create tension naturally. The group decides to ask the ever helpful Segei, to translate what they saw the old man had written on his sign and placed to the window. Thankfully it wasn’t a Russian porn site, or Flash Friday. The message translates to, Stay Away. Which shakes up the group a little but hey. They’re young, dumb and full of piss. So time to soldier forward.

Thankfully we are getting into the snow and closer to these people dying. I am not saying I hate them, but I am saying the more they talk, the more I am curious to see them vanish in this film.

So we reach our destination. The Mountains of Death, Death Mountain. They setup camp, which further solidifies that though they trained, some of them were not long for this world. As JP cooks dehydrated bags of chili and the vegan friendly mac and cheese option for the group. For those unfamiliar with dehydrated meals?

You need to add roughly two cups of boiling water to the inside of these bags, seal them, shake it up and let it sit for 8 minutes or so, so that the super hot water can rehydrate the food and create your meal. I’ve had both MRE and camping dehydrated chili and while some of bits of beef end up chewy. It’s really not that bad. But you also learn not to hold the bag in your hand, and to let it cool because you heated up water to over 180 degrees and put it into a bag.

Jenson the wonder fuck, decides to be a funny fucker, and grabs the chili bag, Meant to help feed everyone, and begins pouring it directly into his mouth. Which he immediately spits out into the snow. Because its boiling fucking hot, and he’s a special kind of stupid.

People like Jenson, will be the reason friendships get tested, and why some people won’t survive long if they keep messing with meals meant to feed the group.

We need to keep adding to the mystery naturally as well. So once we’ve had our moment of the group acting friendly and supposedly like human beings. We have to cut to Holly recording Jenson, who is recording the mountains and some of the northern lights. I would be doing the same, only he decides to inform us that, though he could be going off to the tent of a girl who for what unknown reason might want to have sex with him. He is instead deciding to say begone thot, and filming the mountains. Because it was said that the night the group went out and subsequently went missing. There were orange lights in the sky.

So naturally He hopes for the same. Instead we get a nice quiet night.

And then comes the morning.

The group wakes up to discover a series of large, thin bare footprints around their camp site.  There are large circles of these footprints around their tents and camp site. The footprints seem to just appear in the snow, and vanish without going off in any specific direction. Like something just hulk jumped onto their spot, walked around, then leapt off.

So the group decided to document it. Which is our first sign of discourse, and a continuation into why Jenson needs to die.

Our experienced trackers want to immediately pack of their gear and keep on track with the plan. Holly tells them to chill out and let her record this for their film first. She begins explaining rather well how mysterious it was that these footprints seemed to be circling and investigating their site, but never approached them, and how walking barefoot is impossible, as you would sink into the snow. So they all wear spoked grooved shoes or specialty gear.

It's rather interesting and looks like actual documentary worthy stuff.

Until Jenson does what Jenson does.

He immediately has to interrupt her reporting by inserting that only a Yeti can make those marks. She tells him to chill out  and continues on. Only to have him again, do what he considered comedy, by interjecting again and shouting at her that it is more proof that it was a Yeti. He gets the reaction he wanted from her as she cusses him out saying they don’t exist. Prompting him to answer back with “You don’t exist!’

These people were given a grant, to film this.

Naturally the rest of the group is upset by this for two reasons. One. Who or what would be out in the snow, at the dead of night when its coldest, barefoot and circling their camp site. That in itself is creepy enough. And on the other hand. You have others believing Holly and Jenson set this all up to fate footprints to make their project more interesting, by tricking everyone. This of course sets our group up for not trusting one another and everyone beginning to question if training for survival in the Ural Mountains using the Bunny ski slopes was really enough to survive a path known for people getting lost, and 9 killed.

This sounds like the perfect time to gather everyone together and make some hot chocolate. So with that.

The first step to making amazing hot chocolate? Is using milk. Never use water. Water is shit, and don’t open a swiss miss packet either. I mean even with milk it’ll be subpar to okay. But you want to get yourself the good stuff.

First warm up some milk. Stir in some vanilla sugar and good quality coco powder. I aint talkin Hershey or Nestle either. I’m talking Guittard, Ghirardelli. I’m talking mother truckin GODIVA up in this bitch. ANYTHING but the normal crap you find in the coffee and tea section, go to the baking section of the store, trust me.

So you stir in vanilla sugar and coco powder. But we ain’t done. We are just beginning. Then add in either broken bits of good quality semi sweet, or dark chocolate chips or choco bar. Stir and melt that into this brew and pour yourself a cup of goddamn deliciousness. Top it as you desire, and your welcome.

Anyway back to these idiots.

So not everyone was a fan of finding those foot prints, and much debate is left about their origin, especially as they just vanish as opposed to leading off anywhere. Well get ready for more, as our group travels further on that day only to come across, you guessed it, more foot prints, and this time some leading toward a watch tower. Which Holly decides to climb. Does she find a Yeti squatting and digging out dingle berries? No. She instead finds the tongue of….an animal? And prompty falls to her ass.

This is a confusing moment in the film, and really something I had a lot of questions about.

So first we have two instances of foot prints mysteriously appearing and each time they literally start at a random point out of nowhere, and then end the same. Like someone was teleporting or hulk leaping vast distances. Couple that with the discovering of carved out tongue left for them to obviously find.

Think about that for a moment.

The foot prints, sure that can be up for debate, seeing them appear  a second time further up the pass where none of them had been? Yeah that should raise some awareness for the group. But finding a severed tongue? Purposely left somewhere like that? That should be enough for the group to gather together and seriously debate going back down the mountain and toward safety.

To add to this, because there is more. They also hear weird noises in the wind around them when this event happened. Unexplained noises.

You’d think all of this would as I mentioned, mean its time to discuss what to do, and keeping the group safe. Safety in these situations, not yeti attacks or aliens. But while hiking dangerous terrain in extreme weather conditions, is always cause to put safety above anything else. All guides do this. Because their job is to keep everyone alive.

But they just nevermind it. Because why not, maybe a bird just ripped out a tongue and dropped it there, or a bear decided to take in a majestic view while dining on a skull, and left the tongue there. No need to worry, we’re young dumb and a special kind of stupid.

Then for funsies, we get a sudden turn of character. From of all people Jenson.

He’s freaked out now. The man who scarfed down the groups chili and severely burned his tongue, made jokes about dildoing group members, tries starting fights with Russians and their own guides, AND filmed a documentary where he has to keep insisting Yeti’s exist. Is now having a serious emotional moment. Because those strange noises they heard? He’s heard them before.

Get ready for this.

He tells Holly, that he was tripping on acid, and had a really weird vision, he heard those noises and he saw himself in dark places scared and dead. Holly comforts him by one upping his story and telling him she had a dream about all of this. The mountains, the noises, and she saw herself, all of them here. She saw herself in a cave under ground and weird things happening and herself in despair. So you know. That makes things better.

It's just. So….this is getting dumb.

However…..and this is a big how ever. There is one element I liked here.

One.

As they are filming, trekking, and discover the new foot prints, the tongue, and the realization they made it to Dyatlov’s pass. The camera begin doing the oh so familiar herky jerky interference trick. Letting us know things are not good, and something is there interfering.

I like this.

I like it because I had to rewind and was glad I did. On the second time the film interference occurred. I was uninterested in what they were doing because, make better likeable characters. And I noticed during the interference, off in the distance was a shape moving. It was very subtle but it was there. So I rewound a bit and watched it, Sure enough it was there. Then I went back to the first time the interference happened and, yup. There it was again.

Its best described now as, the movie is like that person you are dating. Where they say something really, really fucking dumb, and you look at them thinking. You are the most dense asshole…and god your annoyingly stupid….but you make me laugh sometimes. I feel some of you might know what I mean and that’s how this film feels. I see it’s stupidity, I don’t like it, It even gives echo’s of the parts of Blair Witch I couldn’t stand, but things like this, these tiny moments make me decide to give it a chance and just shake off the stupidity and enjoy the moment.

Which thank god for that, as they reach the site of the unfortunate incident of the 9 hikers. Prompting them to stage an effective shot for their documentary and educating us on the actual events and why it was so odd. They place stakes with pictures of each hiker into the snow, and mark body outlines with red spray paint in the snow to show us where each body was discovered. Which again, when you read into it? You understand why people had so many questions.

The official cause of death for all of them was determined to be Hypothermia, however two of the men had crushed skulls, two others had broken ribs, None of them had any signs of defensive wounds, a lot of them were found in just the barest of clothing with nothing to protect them, and no shoes/socks. Even weirder and I’m glad the film mentioned it, some of the clothes on the bodies had incredibly massive amounts of radiation. Which is incredibly odd. But again, it was hypothermia brought on by an avalanche. Though none of the bodies showed any evidence of being dragged along the ground or what could have or did crush their skulls and ribs.

Now we bring out more of our horror angle and we mention that in this area. Where the group of men and women originally camped. There is a possible magnetic field, as their composes and GPS equipment are all going insane. Spinning circles and cycling through numbers in error.

So, large thin footprints in the snow, torn out tongue, figured appearing and vanishing on film, and now we have this to deal with. But what of the radiation? Are they all safe? Let’s talk about that, because the film also decides to talk about that as well.

They happen to have a little device handy which. Sure enough helps detect radiation. Jenson tells her he believes there could be Uranium in the rocks, which was also theorized back then as there was a town(if I recall) nearby that had closed down a uranium mine, but was much further off. However these two jerkies are out playing in what appears to be a very radiated field of the mountain and discover a source of ultra high traces of what could only melt your insides and slowly kill you.

Which obviously means its time to dig in the snow to find out just what that is.

Low and behold the two discover…a bunker. Buried in the snow. Built into the side of the mountain. They uncover a large solid steel door, designed rather oddly. As Jenson points out to us, the door was designed with the locking mechanism on the outside. How he knows this, we don’t know. But he immediately tells us this and exclaims even further. “It’s to keep things from getting out.”

Well, isn’t that convenient.

So naturally Holly wants to get inside there, because the movie needs to happen. But not right now. For now it’s time to get back to camp, people to cuddle up and keep warm, and college girls to make life decisions they’ll later regret but for now, serve as an “I was in college” judgement call.

They’re banging even after being told about one of their guides being a master of trail hookups.

But as people begin getting comfy and exploring orifices in the absolute coldest of conditions. They are driven to escape their tents as a series of loud explosions are heard all around them. It sounds like they’re back in world war 2 and bombs are dropping. Only there are no bombs, or flashes.

This is an interesting addition and shows these people really did do a deep dive into Dyatlov, as one of the theories was the hikers were close to a secret military base, they believe this both explained some of the radiation as only one or two of the people had large amounts of it found on their clothing, but if the whole mountain was radiated they all would’ve been affected, and people had reported loud burst the previous night. They believe it was ‘possible’ the military could have been out there dropping parachute mines on the other side of the mountain. Which could’ve triggered an avalanche which ultimately they felt chased the original group from their tents and into the severe cold where some died from the avalanche, and others died of hypothermia as they were forced to wait in the snow as the bombardment continued through the night.

Again its really interesting stuff in the actual story and the vast field of theories out there. Especially when you couple things like this, military bombings, avalanches and panic, with the fact the tracks they found from the group leading away from the campsite were all made as if they were walking at a normal pace. Nothing frantic or rushed. They just seemed to be having a leisurely walk.

As for these bastards, not only do they have sudden blast in the night, they’ve got an avalanche all their own. It’s like an amusement park ride and they’re getting the full experience. Some of our hikers are clothed, others are not. Denise the sound girl, still naked from her banging session, is buried and crushed by snow. Two others do spinning human cartwheels with the wave of snow. Andy, JP, Jenson and Holly seem to be our only survivors now.

Which is the worst you could hope for. So while the group have to reset the bone in JP’s leg, Jenson argues with Andy about how this was all intentionally done by the Russian Military because they knew they’d be out there, they waited till they were asleep to launch those explosives, and Jenson of course naturally claims he saw them set up charges. It feels like a great time for them to have a peppermint snowman, or whatever you want to call it. Yes, recipe time.

This is the rare exception when using Swiss Miss mix will work. It’s simple, and only for responsible adults, and appropriate during the winter and holiday season.

Make yourself a cup or half a cup of hot chocolate, depending on how ‘jolly’ you want to feel. Add a shot of peppermint schnapps and crème de cacao or crème de mint. Depends your festivities and love of chocolate. Stir it with a candy cane and top with whipped cream. Technically you should really only add like an ounce and a half of schnapps and crème de cacao, but again. Depends how festive you wanna get.

Anyway back to the Blair Snowman.

As our group recovers from the panic of the avalanche, and Jensons paranoia of the military being behind this. The three discuss their plans of survival. Which is when Jenson throws Holly under the bus and tells her maybe it’s a good time to bring up the bunker and how they could stay there.

Naturally for JP to hear about a bunker that they all could have stayed in to stay warm and safe versus people dying in the avalanche, is met with mixed results of emotional response. But the group decides to trek out that way. Even as Holly tells them they weren’t able to open the door themselves earlier.

Thankfully JP has the idea of hey, we got a flair gun. Why not signal with flairs that we need help. So the group decides cool story bro, let’s do it. In a lazy “oooh” moment, once the flare is fired off. They comment “huh…orange lights in the sky” reminding us how their orange flare, could also have explained the orange lights reported that night by others coming from the mountain.

Well amazingly two Russians happen to be out in jackets and discover the survivors, marking the flair and saying they were curious if they needed help.

The group is saved! Huzzah!

Or at least they would be if the two Russians didn’t confirm Jensons bullshit cover up story, by firing at the group. So now our group is running and limping away for safety inside the bunker.

Which again makes no sense because as they stated earlier when they discovered the bunker. The door opens and locks from the outside. So if they get the door open, which they did. Then clearly they can’t lock it, and the two Russians will follow in after them so. Great plan.

But the movie needs us here, because it’s time to finally unravel this mystery hot dog and oh boy are they gonna unravel it.

They make way inside the bunker and shut the door. Jenson believes they won’t come in after them as they know they have no supplies, and will dehydrate and die within 3 days. So they’ll just play the waiting game instead of wasting the bullets to kill them. So its time to explore.

What is this bunker? Why it’s a lab of sorts. A super secret lab. Again touching on the conspiracy that a Russian secret base was out there and likely silenced the hikers or they were killed during parachute mining ops done by them. Well it’s going to get a lot crazier and groan worthy.

As they explore the long abandoned lab. They discover top secret files, in English no less. Which Jenson is also an expert on. Not on English but the contents of the files. He recognizes a photo from the file as being from the USS Eldridge, from the infamous alleged military experiment, The Philadelphia Experiment. Which when JP ask what the hell they’re talking about. Jenson has to insult him as having lived under a rock to not know about the USS Eldridge.

He explains for all of us how the experiment dealt in, get ready for it. Teleportation. And how people supposedly ended up fused to the hull of the ship and that the files they were looking at were super duper extremely classified and looks like stolen by the Russians who themselves were trying to copy the experiment within this bunker.

The group begin exploring deeper and discover, a semi fresh body of a military man. Whom they happen to discover is missing his tongue. Which explains the tongue they found in the tower.

It also is another interesting callback to the original incident as, and get ready for this nugget of wtf reality. One of the bodies had its eyes missing, and another its tongue was not found. So yes the movie had to include those as well. Which again, appreciate telling the world about the reality of the event, but this movie..oof.

But, now that we have the twist they’re introducing to us. And we are in the final few moments of the film. Grab onto your butts, and get ready.

While Jenson and Holly go exploring, they find a cage, rotting bodies, and an operation table. On this table, they discover an odd thing. A camcorder. Which is very much not of the time period of the 50’s.

And if you hadn’t figured it out already, don’t worry the movie is about to give it to us. The camcorder they discover, is in fact the same camcorder Jenson is using to record them, sure enough on the camera. They find their earlier recordings. Yep. Teleportation, and not just teleportation but…I’ll let the movie get us there, though if you’ve been paying attention you know where this is going.

As these explorers make these discoveries. They are reminded JP is still with them as they hear him screaming off in the distance. He is being attacked. And not by Russian soldiers.

The two run back to the room they left their friend and find themselves face to face, and uncomfortably close, with large human like monsters, with elongated bodies, and puckered skin. These are the large foot beings who left foot prints, and now we know they teleported in and out around the camp site, and the watch tower.

So we have a threat, and its very pissed off. Howling and growling out at our two survivors while these two monsters destroy JP and thankfully get him out of the movie. Which leads to a lot of of teleporting like its going out of style. But to nowhere useful. The monsters just pop in and out at random but never attack Jenson or Holly. Just playing now you see me now you don’t.  Eventually chasing these two down a tunnel and into a room with a door they can lock.

Within this room Jenson and Holly discover cave drawings, and a large odd shaped……wall..door. Thing. Which they toss a rock at in frustration, and the rock is suddenly teleported.

So they found a room, with a teleportation like source, with two monsters outside the room, who can’t teleport inside their room, for some reason. This is when the film catches up and we see the beginning scene shot in night vision, about Holly talking about her vision and them dying. Only now we get our conclusion to her vision, and their final choice.

Jenson, being left to be the one filling in all the loopholes, and information explaining what they find, what’s going on, where it originates from. Offers Holly there one way ticket. They go through the teleportation portal. “It’s us, or them”, so. Even though he explained how teleportation experiments failed and ended with bodies being fused to surfaces, and crushing peoples minds driving them to the point of insanity. He tells her it could totally work. Because he believes he knows how it could work. Because in a life or death situation you want to trust the man who takes acid, shrooms and smokes whatever he can, and reads conspiracy theories for fun. He tells her, and I shit you not. To picture a place, clearly in your head. A place you know and can easily make out. Every detail. Just picture that and you’ll be teleported there. Obviously.

Well she decided okay, lets picture the outside of the mountain. Versus you know, something like their home, or the bar, or town. Somewhere safe, versus outside where two armed Russians are waiting. But I won’t judge. I won’t. But I am.

So with happy thoughts in their head, the two step into the portal and. The camera is now in the snow, outside the bunker, the two are motionless face down in the snow in their clothes.

If you didn’t figure it out and connect things yet? We can now get there to the obvious that awaited us. The two teleported outside of the bunker yes, but they teleported 50 years into the past. The day everyone was out in the search party looking for the survivors of the Dyatlov incident. And who should stumble upon the bodies, but a young Alya. Now making sense of her surprising story how she found two bodies, away from the other survivors. Two bodies that looked very different and had a strange machine beside them. Yep. She found them. And as she goes to approach the two. Two Russian soldiers pop up armed and tell her to please leave, that there is nothing to see, nothing going on. So Alya and friend leave, and we see the soldiers drag the bodies into their bunker along with the camcorder. We see a very populated and operational bunker, as Russians work to undress the two, and look over the odd camcorder. Before setting it down, and we see Holly and Jensons bodies. Now puckered and dried up elongated musk. Hung on meat hooks, Which begin to slowly reanimate, and the camera, on its own SOMEHOW. Zooms in. So we can see yes. These are the two teleporting monsters, and yes the tattoo on one of the monsters necks, is the tattoo Holly had behind her ear.

So they were the monsters the whooooole tiiiiiime! OH MAH GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

And with that we thankfully end this movie.

The End.

I was disappointed. Somewhat.

Hating Jenson aside. This movie if we put it on a scale, and we are. Did a fair number of good things. But the closer it got to the end it went from interesting to “ooh boy, really?” and I don’t feel in a satisfying way.

The good stuff here, is that it turned out to be one of those films that learned from other found footage films, in that it gave you some good insight into the film and its story. It didn’t make up too much aside the old man character, and it relied on the real life mystery of the place versus what we got in the end. Sometimes these films just give you a barebones bit of information and that’s all we get. This one felt like, it learned from earlier found footage films, and gave us a bit more good background.

Which is appreciated and I praised it for during the film. I mean really, by the time they get up and hiking before the shit hits the fan. You pretty much know about the Dyatlov incident and the key happenings. Things that happen in the film and throughout all connect to events that happened or were reported during the incident. It’s nice having that as some films, like the Paranormal Activity films, or more recently the  Blackwell Ghost series. The first ones offer up information on figures that did not feature later in the film and ended up a series of odd random events tied to a spirit/demon, that only get further explored in subsequent sequels, that went off the rails with their story. This stuck to what it had to work with as that was more than enough weirdness to keep your mind going.

It really served the picture well.

What didn’t however was the turning of characters from seemingly intelligent people. To children and just plain beyond stupid,

Jenson began as a relaxed camera guy who cared about his equipment and doing a good job. To being an annoying shit who spent his years drugged out, and a beyond amazing source for conspiracy theories. To a point it was beyond unbelievable the amount of explanations and exposition he was shitting out his mouth by the end of the film. There’s convenience, and then there’s plot convenience.

The two guides going from level headed serious people concerned with training the group and keeping them safe, who have climbed and hiked all around the world, suddenly turn into rage happy assholes untrusting of everyone around them.

Holly being a curious student who was taken by the story of the Dyatlov Pass Incident, enough to make an entire video report about it and apply for a grant to fund it. Then turns into a premonition filled visionary more concerned with setting up people to fuck in the snow versus solving any mystery out there on the actual pass.

It’s like me camping with friends, planning it for months and then the first night I start getting twitchy and tell them how I had dreams about a full moon, and how a beast tore all of them to shreds, and the closer to the full moon we get the more swol and hairy I suddenly become. But I didn’t want to bring that up until you know. The first night of camping because hah, it gives us something to goof on.

If they had gone into something a bit more. A specific something. This could have explained things a bit more. What am I eluding too?

When they mentioned hearing an odd sound in the wind, and Jenson freaked out because he was on acid and said he heard that sound and it creeped him out? That also was something they suspected could have potentially effected the group. Infrasound.

A phenomenon called a Karmen Vortex. It’s the result of unusual wind patterns creating an infrasound. A low frequency sound somewhat below human hearing. The effects from this on people? Were found to induce uneasiness, terror, stomach aches, and sometimes illness. It’s why they found some hikers, and climbers experience odd anxiety spikes, senses of uneasiness, pressure on their chest and sudden terror. They felt that could have possibly lead to the group freaking out and abandoning their tents out into the extreme cold as well.

In the film they mention this odd sound carried in the wind. It’s a definite callback to that, but movie logic dictates we need to ‘hear’ the sound, otherwise how do we know it was a thing. Much like how all air conditioners in movies have tiny strands of material attached to them. Specifically so we can know they are working when those ribbons are floating in the air, and panic when we see them turn off.

Had they used that, as an excuse as to why our two guides suddenly became untrusting or tense and angry? It would make sense. Instead before they even approach the pass, we see Jenson insulting and joking with JP, who suddenly lunges at him trying to bash him into the side of a van. For no reason. So the two for reasons unknown dislike each other suddenly. That would’ve been useful at the camp site.

Instead the first sighting of unexplained footsteps is enough for JP and Andy to immediately turn against Jenson and Holly and call them assholes because they believe those two faked it for a film. It just didn’t add up.

The story moved along well. The actors did a good enough job, though honestly they didn’t have much to work with and do so. You know, good job. But it wasn’t exactly a stretch your acting legs performance peace so.

But the ending, oof.

They had so much good potential, and then they took it there. I mean hey, it’s a fun idea. Sure. Time travel. They were destined to be there, and both of them having their separate visions paid off. Except neither cared to discuss or bring them up, until midway through the damn film and it comes off as more an after thought than anything.

I worked with a guy named Kyle. This man was the spokesperson and poster child for legalizing marijuana and shrooms. If he had a party? He would tell you exactly how many grams of what he had taken, and how many liters of alcohol, and which types of alcohol. And any time this guy could relate an event, a dream, anything. He’d unload fairy tale story to you, that really happened. But always related to a topic already brought up, and would be something he’d bring up frequently. And you knew you were going to hear it, because the moment a thing happened or was said. He never did the slow turn and lowered voice “I gotta tell you guys something…” He did the wide eyed, open mouth “OOOOOH FUCK! Dude you guys oh my GOD, you gotta hear this! So one time…” he was not a prophet, but you swear any time a chance was presented to tell us about his dreams or things that happened. The guy was the most energetic and excited you’d ever seen him, which he never showed in any of his work. Seriously I caught the guy staring at a box crusher for 2  solid minutes before he turned away from it, when I asked what he was doing he just waved a dismissive hand chuckled “Ah nothin, whats up my guy”

I liked Kyle.

Jenson I did not. The guy went from believably likeable to suddenly being the jackass of the party and it was just a weird turn. But again the twist at the end? I appreciate it and it could’ve been interesting. It just felt rushed, and part of that came from the sudden, unbelievable and highly lengthy exposition dialog coming from Jenson. I would believe Kyle, when he told me how he made pot infused energy vodka, and shroom tea, versus Jenson explaining to me how the top secret Philadelphia experiment really worked and the basics of teleportation theory and practice.

I mean one of those two is going to lead you to a good time, the other is like believing a guy telling you all you need to fly is to think happy thoughts, but carry an umbrella as it’ll slow down your fall if you do. Do not ever do that, you will die.

Had they maybe taken a bit more time exploring the bunker, or left it open ended. Not knowing what happened inside. Maybe they wonder inside and the two Russians about to follow in after them suddenly hear screams and monstrous howls. Or you just end the film with their bodies in the snow. Alya finding them and deciding ‘omg so SHE found them? Oh wow, but they did, oh wow” that might’ve proved more effective. Instead we had to get a lab shot of 1950’s Russians and an unexplained zoom in on Holly’s neck tattoo. Just to make sure we know its her even though we saw her body dragged and on the table. It was a bit uneven and a little rushed. It needed time to breath and sink in. But it still did some things right, yes.

Just feels like it fumbled closer to the end, and the choices to change character behaviors so soon and quickly, before allowing it to set in maybe the pass itself had effected them. Just felt like a missed opportunity and more of a the script needed to happen.

It’s not bad, just disappointing. It had some good moments, and I would’ve liked seeing it continue on with subtle scares, but they went big in the end and on a grand scale, that while it tied up things introduced early on in the film. It ultimately resulted in an okay time.

Still though, major kudos on the actual incident story and presenting that.

So until tomorrow with our next film. Maybe think to hire older experienced not in college people to guide you, spend a few months climbing actual sites and getting experience, and maybe. Just maybe. Go back home at the first sign of potential life threatening trouble, and discovering body parts.

Seriously, how does finding a human tongue in the middle of nowhere, FRESH not freak a group of people out. Seriously…