Found Footage February Day 28 Be My Cat: A Film for Anne!!

Day 28

Be My Cat: A Film for Anne

I have never heard of this film, never even seen the poster for it. Which absolutely would have stood out to me. It looks creepy, and the synopsis is…well straight forward. It sounds like a horrifying time and from peoples responses to it being on certain list? I have high hopes. It would be nice to have another month down and finished with a good ending, y’know?

I have ended these themed months on a rant, true. But it’d be nice having a fun movie or at least one that stood up to what we were after in the first place. So here’s hoping.

That being said, before we get anywhere, I’d just like to say thank you. Any reading on my reviews, any listening to the audio versions. That’s supportive for me, and I hope you have enjoyed listening and reading through these. I’ve enjoyed recording them a lot more than I’d anticipated, and having more to say without repeating myself in the audio reviews? Is really nice. I really would like to do another month soon again, I just need to settle on a theme, and maybe start trying to improve on things a wee bit, so I’m not testing my sanity each time.

With that being said, again. Thank you all, I hope you’ve enjoyed yourselves, now let’s begin with our last film.

The Film

Wow…right off the bat, we are told all of this was taken from 25 hours of footage found at the “Be My Cat” crime scene. That. Just the name alone is…scary.

However the Romanian man we are meeting, is not so scary. He lives with his mama, in a nice little Romanian home, it looks cute. I know this man is a psychopath from the films synopsis but still. We can appreciate a nice little home.

So the film is made by, and focused on our aspiring director, Adrian Tofei. Who is making a film called ‘Be My Cat’, he is making this film, as sort of a resume for the actress Anne Hathaway. He is proposing to her, that she is the perfect actress for his film. So he wants to make this film, as a way to show her she needs to work with him.

He has even found three Romanian women, to help him show how he will work with her in his film. He admits, he has lied to them. They think he is making a real film. Which he is, but not until he gets Anne involved. So they will have to understand, his vision and how it doesn’t really include any of them. Just Anne…

Off to a great start!

This man……………..has aspirations. And delusions of grandeur. He is VERY passionate about his need for Anne, to the point he is nearly speechless with how to tell her how famous he will make her. But he attempts to regardless. He promises her, that she will become more than famous through him. She will become a cornerstone to such great things, that others could never aspire too.

So we get our first lady actress. Her family has dropped her of and he is all too happy to talk with her and explain he shall be filming her for the entire process AND they shall be speaking in English the whole time.

His first scene for her is…something.

He wants her to act as a great actress, who is thinking of winning an Oscar, she is on her way to a cinema, and he shall be playing the part of, a stalker. A stalker following this famous actress, who begins filming her, and goes after her. As she is on her way to the cinema. He instructs her that, she can do anything she wants or needs to. She can punch him, beat him, scream, yell, shout. ANYTHING. But she cannot run from him. HE can run after her. But she cannot escape. He only ask that she keep him from being 1 meter away from her.

This sounds like a horrible idea. This sounds like a crime before it happens. But she is an actress, this is a job. So she shall go along with it. She’s happy to do so.

That ends quickly. She does exactly as he says, except for being able to keep him away from her. So they have to try again.

And again.

…and again.

She is fine, he isn’t going to kill her. There are people all around them. So she is relatively safe. Though her feelings aren’t safe. He calls her a shitty actress, a terrible person because she can’t escape him. That she tells him it’s impossible to keep him away without being able to run. “If this were real life, I would run” this upsets him and he feels she is a shit actress because she should be able to keep him away from her. Unfortunately she doesn’t get that, so he must move on to another scene. Which is even creepier. But she’s committed.

He tells her this character now must break up with him, that she must tell him they are over and done with, that she can cuss him out, beat him up, anything she needs to do, once again. She doesn’t want any part of that. Because it makes no sense. Her character doesn’t even know this man, it makes no sense. But now, she has to break up with him…sure let’s do it.

The entire thing is. Absolutely psychotic. The man is freaking her out, the scene isn’t….acting. It’s just insane. She begins with actually trying to act out the scene. She is rejecting this man, his character. She is telling him the relationship is over, she does not love his character, he’s a piece of shit etc.

Then he begins laughing, while ‘playing’ the part, chuckling as he tells her how he loves her, to please not leave him, to stop denying him. All while laughing. And she’s done. She’s actually pushing and punching him, telling him to fuck off, and he just keeps laughing egging her on. Until she runs off.

He returns to trying to act out the scene, telling her ‘you tell him you do not love him, but you do. You just rejected him because she loves him….that is just, damn.

She is thankfully finished with him, she’s calling the cops, she tells him she is doing so. He is just laughing telling her she doesn’t have the guts to do that, but she did! She calls them and they arrive!

Thank Pazuzu for the police!

Only this guy is a goddamn talented weasel and convinces her AND the police. That its fine, he’s a director, she is an actress, she wasn’t ready for the intensity of what he was asking for and…and this is going to end poorly.

WHICH IT DOES!!

For some damn reason. She decides to film the ONE scene. The one scene he told her was all she needed to film with him.

The final part in his three scenes he had for her…

Fucking hell.

His last scene for her. Is the stalker, who she loves, and rejected. He follows her character, and he grabs her as she passes by. And he chloroforms her. This. This should be an absolute final warning for this girl. She needs to run like hell, but for god knows what reason. She is believing him. They even rehearse the scene. He puts a cloth over her face, she screams and struggles, and he tells her she did amazing. So now they can do the real thing. And he tells her he will put water on the cloth, to make it seem more real.

The man even pulls the bad joke of “Does this smell like chloroform to you?”, except he tells her “This is water, it will look real, and uh, don’t mind if this smells like…well, it is water inside a bottle of alcohol so it may smell weird”

Yes it’s chloroform. He even jokes about it to the camera, to Anne “I have a surprise Anne, it’s so funny. I used real Chloroform! But I would never do that with you! I’d never hurt you or do this to anyone in real life.”

Dude spent 3 minutes making sure she inhaled it and was out of it…then brought her home, and tells Anne through the camera, he will now change her clothes. That in his film, the stalker will change the girls clothing, to that of what Anne wore as Catwoman. But it is VERY important for her, Anne Hathaway to know! That he is not enjoying undressing her, and to please not be jealous, he also again wishes her to know he would not do this to her in real life, and she must understand what it is he is doing. Because it is acting, it is film. If she doesn’t get what he is doing and WHY. Then she isn’t a real actress. But he knows that she IS, because she is amazing!

This is unsettling, and this man is 100% nailing being a lunatic. We don’t thankfully see him undress her, but he does wake up the next morning and she is in bed beside him, wearing the cat woman clothes. As she wakes up, he is waving a knife in front of her. Telling her to please be careful and quiet, he doesn’t want to cut her but he will. She begins to scream, thankfully. However he tells her, “I have instructed everyone in the building that I am directing a horror movie, that I will have girls screaming as they are murdered. So you can scream all you want!”, But she won’t get that chance. Because he’s giving her a tiny little dab more of chloroform to help her ‘relax’ for the next scene.

The final scene with this actress…

The final scene he has planned out, is that his character. The stalker. Shall now kill the girl that he loves and abducted. And she should enjoy this, because it is the dream of all actresses to do this. And with that…yep. She dead.

He doesn’t stab her. No, thankfully we don’t have that. Instead while she’s drugged, he strangled her with a bed sheet. Carries her body to the basement of the building he is filming in, and leaves her body, NEVER to be discovered.

Act one is finished.

Act Two is now here.

Which he explains to Anne, about how he loves women and he loves cats. Because they are both cute and so innocent and fun. But he hates boys and dogs. Because those are bullies, and they hurt you. He admits to Anne that he accidentally killed his cat when he was a kid. When he was playing with it, tying rope around its neck and killing it….again totally on accident.

The man is a beautiful nightmare of an absolute horror story human being.

He sees all of this as being fine, logical, and absolutely the greatest thing ever, the best movie ever made. He can’t wait to film this with her. Because their souls will be together, forever. It will bring them closer together and will become legendary.

And pigs will fly out of a baboons ass.

His next story, is another theme on the Be My Cat story.

This one will focus on a man. Who loved his cat, but accidentally killed it. So he finds a woman, that he loves, and he will make her his cat.

I wrote a script about killer furbies, made by the government, and turning evil do to an electrical storm. One of the key scenes in that involved a shotgun made out of two double ended dildos, shoved up the ass of a giant furby. While a dog humps the hero’s sidekick on the floor.

Lloyd kaufman told me it was too good for Troma…

I am glad I didn’t approach this man with it.

So now here we are with actress 2. A lady with short hair, a cute form and face.

But he doesn’t like her. Because she is fat. She sent old photos of herself, and now she is 5 pounds heavier or so. And he is calling her fat.

Worse though, far worse. She hates Anne Hathaway. She believes Anne is a horse faced lady, a no talent actress, and that she is far better an actress than Anne Hathaway.

He is triggered by this. How can he present this film to Anne Hathaway, when this lady is a chonker, with muffin top, and she hates the actress whom he sees as a goddess on this earth.

So obviously now, he as the director, is okay with her, but his character he is playing, does not have an interest in her. Because she is fat, and she is not how her pictures looked. She is intimidating to him, because of her attitude, and he does not want her to be in the film. Because his ‘character’ does not like her for it.

This lady, is not going to put up with being called fat,  and she is aggressive. She wants this role. So she will push for this role, He tells her to act, to tell him she wants this roll and that she has a solution for him, to fix this.

She…offers to let him fuck her.

Thankfully…this scares him even more. Which is fitting. Most men like this absolutely are terrified of women showing strength and aggression. They don’t react well to it. Hopefully this means she can live! And he will let her go. Because she is fat, hates Anne Hathaway, and thinks she is better than her.

BUT NO!

The man promises Ann, he will take care of her and figure this out. But for the time being. He will pick up his third actress from the bus station…because why not!

This whole thing..man. Like I knew this was going to be a fun time in stalker town. But man this guy really does nail down the creepy factor well, like sincerely, devastatingly committed to the part well. And it is unsettling, in the best way. These ladies absolutely should all be running from him, far, far away from him. But they aren’t. They are there for their big break in a film, and of course you know what they say, Some directors are very odd, eccentric and demand a lot. So I guess…NO IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! Run the hell away from crazy pants!

Seriously this is just sad, but man is it shot so, so well.

And we are developing this story further as well. Not just him and his murder anthology of actresses, but his eventual being caught by the police. At least I can assume as much.

It’s a funny moment because after having picked up his second actress. She informs him that a police officer asked why she was there and she told them for a movie part, the cop seemed suspicious hearing about this, and how a man contacted her for his local film. So he told her to let him know if she ran into any problems with him immediately. Which they both laugh at, but Adrian seems, mildly concerned about this. It sounds like this could be the same officer who came when the first actress contacted the police and now is missing. The plot, like a gumbo when you add the roux, is thickening.

Sorry just its snowing outside and my mind is stuck on making gumbo or a spicy thick Texas red chili.

Damn I want chili…..

ANYWAY.

It is time to begin setting up our actors next big scene for Anne. A scene involving a rest mattress frame, in a dank ass room…for a surgery.

This…yeah. This can only go super duper well.

I mean how can it possibly go bad. When you have a chubby actress, who offers to sleep with you for the part, and hates your idol, so you choose to have her strip down to her bra and panties and let you tie them to the mattress frame because your ‘character’ is going to perform surgery to transform them, through pain into his cat. And they tell their third standby actress, who LOVES Anne Hathaway and her movies, and wants to be an actress just like her. To please leave the building so he can film his scene with the chubby butt lady…the surgery scene.

Honestly, and I mean this respectfully. She is cute as hell, I don’t see the chunkiness, and I think she’s hot. I hope the scene works out for her. By that I mean dear god where are the cops busting down the door, save this poor cute lady!

But alas no. Once they are alone, he is back to giggling like a madman, and telling Anne, and the actress that this scene needs to be real for it to work. So he isn’t going to use fake blood and meat for gore. He is going to cut her with a real knife, and kill her. He will carve up her belly, her shoulders, and the rest of her. For the surgery scene, and it will be beautiful, authentic, and the character will have gone through her transformation…into his cat.

The more you hear that, and the more the title now makes sense. It’s just that much worse.

I dig it.

And then the screaming starts.

He is killing her, and still calmly talking to Anne as the girl cries and screams trying to escape. There is thankfully no gore. But damn her acting is…yeah. It’s scary as hell what she is going through, and the man is just embracing his insanity. Like this is just. Again, the guy is perfect as an insane man. It’s just…this is what madness looks like.

And when he adds a laptop playing a love song he played earlier for Anne? Good lord.

What’s worse is someone from outside wonders into the building. Asking what is going on. And….he tells them the truth. He is making a film. It’s a horror film, and the girl needs to scream for the camera to record it, and the man believes it.

He has performed his surgery on this poor lady. He has carved out ‘large’ chunks of meat. And as he tells Anne. She is now perfect for the part, she is thinner, and will now fit into his Cat woman suit, just like the other lady. He also gave her a small hit of the chloroform so she won’t be screaming all night. At least he is considerate.

And much like the first lady, he must dress her now. To transform her totally, into his cat.

“If I have the power to transform a shiny, and shitty person like this, into this. Imagine what I could do to you Anne. I could make you god, Anne. I could make you a god of the actors. Just imagine Anne.”

Couple that with, his sudden realization, as he moves to dress the second actress and close his second act. He is having a revelation. The happiest revelation of his life.

He has become the character of Be My Cat. He is no longer himself. He thought he would have to prepare more for the role. But nope. He IS the character now. He is ready and has become the character completely. He no longer needs his third actress! She can live! Praise Xenu, she can leave! Sure she’s not as cute as the second actress, but still. At least SOMEONE gets to survive this!

Wait, does that mean chubby girl is dead? OF COURSE IT MEANS SHE’S DEAD!

It’s also unintentionally funny as hell.

He is so thrilled that he has become his character. That he is ready to work with Anne, that he is ready to film his movie with her and play his part. As he is ready to dress the second actress for Anne as he said. He suddenly realizes that the actress is dead. “Um…we have a problem Anne. There is a lot of blood down here and uh…she is dead.”

Yeah. No shit Sherlock. You performed open surgery on a person and cut out the fat from their body, and all you did was give them some chloroform but left their body open and bleeding.

I mean to his credit, he isn’t a surgeon, he’s just an actor so. That’s not really his place. The set people should have been aware of this and taken care of it. IF HE HAD SET PEOPLE!

So now he must cut the body up and hide her, because this is no good for his film. So he must ‘cut her out’

Well that shouldn’t be too difficult. You just edit the film. Cut out the scenes, save them for bonus features maybe. It’s content.

But no. No. Director Crazypants is talking about cutting the body into baggies and getting rid of them. So he’s going to be busy for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately however. Alexandria. His third actress? Decided to wonder back onto the ‘set’ and check on how things went from the filming earlier. He finds the lady still on the bed, still dead. And has a moment of. Let’s call it, pants crapping panic at the insanity of seeing someone you watched get tied down, now lay there murdered.

As she goes to make her escape. She grabs the camera. This is evidence and she’ll take it to the authorities! FINALLY things are going well!

Oh come on, of course they don’t!

She runs into him, and we begin what is the most tense 15 minutes of the film. He has her cornered. The camera back in his hands. And he is deciding, do I kill you, or do I let you go.

He gives her 30 minutes to think. To find a way to help give him a solution. While he thinks as well.

This is honestly very well done, it’s some of the best material in the entire film. Everything up until this point, he has been in control, taking these girls trust and using it, using his position to kill them. He was intimidated by a woman who stood up to him and that’s why she had to be tied down, she could fight him, but not any more. Now? Now he has an intellectual woman, spending 30 minutes given to her. Trying to reason out her survival with an insane man.

She can’t escape without him cutting her throat. He won’t buy any lies she feeds him about her talking to Anne woman to woman. She is reaching deep into her mind and trying her best to work for her survival. She tries using his film, the reason for making it, for Anne as a reason to escape. Telling him if he loves Ann, to go find her. To drop his film and just go to her. Proclaim his love to her. He…actually considers this. He isn’t entirely happy. But she has managed to get to him.

She convinces him, to stop making his film. That he doesn’t need the film. Because he wants to be with Anne, He loves her. He doesn’t need the film to be with her, he doesn’t need to cast her in a film. He should just go to her. Be with her and love her. Start a family with her.

This is insanity and the man is loving it. He absolutely is on board with his actress’s plan. For him to go to Hollywood. Wait, wait. Let’s be accurate.

She is willing. To give him 30 minutes. To escape and get his things, and go be with Anne, to profess his love to her, to be with her, have a family and children with her.

The man is beside himself. He has had a breathrough. She is the greatest actress of all time. She has convinced a psychopath he is in love with Anne Hathaway, and bought her freedom.

She has 20 seconds before he will end the film, since he no longer feels the need to talk to the camera or film his movie anymore. So he ask her for one last word. And he means it literally. One word. So she chooses, love.

The man laughs like a maniac and. The film ends.

Does she live? Does he kill her off screen?

That’s your call pal.

The End

Wow.

This movie was. Well. What a way to end Found Footage February yeah? Holy cow tits that was great. It was incredibly creepy, the man played insane like a well practiced ventriloquist practicing on bodies in a morgue.

This film is pure Gonzo insanity, and I loved it. Not only is it hugely unsettling and crazy like no one else before it, but the director and star Adrian Tofei. The man played everything perfectly. He did a LOT of one shot takes for the film, he improvised everything with the actresses involved, and funny enough. Apparently the first actress who called the cops? That actually happened. She was ‘in’ character when she called the cops and they actually did show up. They used that IN THE MOVIE!

The guy also filmed exactly 25 hours of footage, over 20 days. He edited it like a documentary, and cut it together to tell his story. Apparently he finished the films editing on May 20th. Which he used in the film when we were TOLD the police found 25 hours of film from the crime scene on May 20th 2014.

This thing is full of crazy fun facts and moments straight from the director himself. And Everything I learn about this movie. Just makes me fall for it that much more.

Which is sort of insane to think about. Falling for a movie, about a deranged man who kills actresses to prove to his stalked crush that she is the one for his film and will go through these same scenes herself, kills two women in horrible ways, and realizes he loves her and the film was just a way for him to be with her. Of course I love the damn thing!

It’s beautifully fucked up, and he made an absolutely astoundingly great found footage film.

But even better. Which yes. There is something even better.

I swear to you I could not have planned this if I tried, and I did not. It just worked out like this and I am giggling like Adrian Tofei now, at 4am my side. But his biggest influence for this film? The one film he sighted as being what inspired him and drove him to this?

I shit you not.

Was Exhibit A.

The very first film of Found Footage February, is the direct inspiration for the man who made the last film of Found Footage February. How the fuck about that. That is crazy!

Start playing Circle of Life from Lion King, hold your laptops high and praise this film and rare moment where two of our picks lined up so damn unexpectedly. They created the perfect bookend to our themed month.

Two disturbing films, filmed and done perfectly. Creating a gold standard for creepy as hell films. You couldn’t ask for better.

The movie itself was just, brilliant. The actor was great, the actresses did amazing. I loved the turns each one took in character being different from one another but still similar, still having that ‘Anne’ look to them. His reaction to all three of them, and that ending. That was incredibly unexpected, and absolutely great. I really thought he would end up killing them all in the end, and we’d have a bloody shoot out with the cops. But nope.

Do I think he killed Alexandra? I think he did. But that’s only because I think back to one of my favorite killer films, Henry, Portrait of a killer. The character at the end of that movie found love. He found a woman who he cared about, made him happy, and he killed others to protect her. He could be changed and a saved man with her. He could be happy. But he kills her anyway. He knew what he was, a monster. He knew he’d ultimately end up doing it anyway. All it’d take is one moment, a twitch in his brain and he’d do it. So he did. It’s heart breaking, but memorable and very coldly realistic. I feel the moment he started doing a countdown for her, that wasn’t just for the last word of the film. It was the last word period for her. I imagine he was caught shortly after once the smell of the bodies, the screams, everything got out. But it’s always possible. She could’ve given him his 30 minutes. He could’ve trusted her not to call the cops and give him time to escape. But that’s up to you all as well.

I just know I found a film I have fallen for, and at the same time would have to carefully recommend to others to watch. BUT I can safely tell anyone I recommend this film for or think too. If you found Exhibit A hard to watch? You might not do well with this.

EVEN THOUGH….it has and promotes a pretty strong female lead at the end. Even if it was all improvised(and I love that it was) it really reminded me of the ending to Wishmaster. Where instead of a violent final boss fight, we had the actress out smart the villain in the end and undo everything that’d happened. It was clever and refreshing. This was as well.

In every way.

This whole month was a great ride. It has some bumps along the way. We found some great examples of good found footage. I was shown, and corrected that yes. It is possible for these films to be that damn good, and even amazing masterclass levels of good.

Seriously I can say I walked away from this month having found some hidden gems, and a good reason to restore my faith in found footage films.

I also found some very incredible examples of found footage that should never be recovered. Not 20 years from now, 40 years from now or a thousand years from now.

I learned a lot with these and I hope you can say somewhat the same, or that maybe I did release a good nugget or two along the way through my ranting and ramblings.

This really was a great deal of fun, even with the recording immediately after and then editing. THAT never broke me. But one or two movies damn well did nearly destroy my brain. So I absolutely will be doing more audio reviews. I hope you can send me thoughts on them and how to improve them. Because I really did enjoy doing those and would like to do more centered on the films themselves. It also feels more engaging, though it also makes me feel crazy as I’m just talking to myself alone at night about movies…which is normal.

I can safely recommend a vast majority of these films to all of you. And the two films we were unable to watch and had to switch out? I will find a way to cover them and report back. I promise. I will not give up on seeing Occult damnit. It will happen. Oh yes, it will happen.

I can’t say much more than I already have about the film, or this month. It is getting late, and sleep sounds so good. Especially now that I can return to my slumber once more, and become the lazy bearded bastard I always was.

So for the last time….

Until next time, Research directors who call you out to the middle of nowhere and film you immediately and give you creepy vibes. It might be a porno you stumbled into, or it might be a stalker. Either way, ask for the money up front and hope for the best. OR RUN THE HELL BACK HOME AND LIVE! LIVE DAMN YOU LIVE!!