Found Footage February Day 21 Area 51!!!

Day 21

 Area 51

Aliens, aliens everywhere. All over our found footage films!

Seriously, like I said earlier this month, it seems like aliens and demons are the bread and butter of found footage. I guess it’s just easier to formulate a story around spooky demon happenings and aliens popping around the woods.

Or at least you’d imagine so.

We have found a good deal of films that unfortunately proved it’s easy to drag a simple idea over feces and drop it on a mountain of wet laundry, leaving it there for a week. Which is unfortunate, but that is the nature of the beast. I won’t get my hopes up for this one, I have learned this month not to. But I also am a gluten for punishment, and when I saw this film was made by the guy behind Paranormal Activity, and someone from The Purge. Well it made me chuckle. This either will go far and away over the top in its alien antics, or it will be a cheesefest like no other. I am hoping for one of these far more than the other.

SO we will see what we get in the end. That being said, it’d just be nice if we have a little fun. So lets get right into it and go from there.

Actually a small part of me is hoping the movie is about people who stormed area 51 demanding answers, remember that bullshit that NO ONE did? Because snipers would’ve killed their asses and NO ONE wanted to die?

They may believe questionable shit, but they absolutely agree on the stopping power of a .50 caliber sniper rifle.

ANYWAY

The Movie

So we have a fine group of friends documenting their partying ways and life for, reasons that don’t matter apparently. Also this has strong vibes of…well. Douche nozzles. But we shall give these three bros a chance, I suppose.

What we have is a story about someone missing, possibly a lot of someones missing, and this is their footage. The person in question, apparently the only one they really cared about because he seemed to have a good life going for him before this whole thing happened, is Reid.

Reid went to a party one night with his brofriends and had some drinks. Next thing they know he went missing from the party. No one knows where he vanished to and his friends didn’t care to stick around and find out. As they are driving home from the party though they begin to think they should’ve maybe tried looking for him a little bit more. But thankfully unseen beings have them covered, as Reid appears out of nowhere, in the middle of the road, and his very friends who missed him, nearly miss him with the van they drove.

Once their friend is collected and brought inside the vehicle, you immediately can tell this dude has seen some shit. This man has encountered the wee grey men of space, and was dropped back off after a galactic kegger. He seems out of it, stunned and possibly like they touched his butthole. But his friends, his good friends. They don’t care.

Yes they think its weird he was in the middle of the road, but that’s about it.

This event is what spiked the interest in Reid to begin pulling away from his family, and start deep diving into UFO and Alien conspiracies. He lost his job, he stopped talking to loved ones. But a bro never turns his back on another bro. That’s bro code. So he apparently got his two best bros to go balls deep with him into his plans to STORM AREA 51!!!

WE GET IT! WE ARE GETTING A DUMBASS WHO STORMED THE BASE!! THANK YOU XENU!!

Reid seemed to have a really good job before they fired him for showing up late and spending all his time researching alien encounters and using the company printer to print out alien photos and rule#34 aliens. This apparently could account for where the money came for all of their equipment. Because they have….a lot…of expensive equipment. Signal jammers, infrared gear, heat suits, binocs, cameras of all shapes and sizes. It’s a pricey table at his place. But its all worth it for him. Because we are storming area 51.

Now you might be asking yourself, how. Might these three brave bro’s plan not to get shot by snipers in the night? Or taken out by drones? They explain this simply for us by showing us they have bottles of….I would guess smoke bombs? Honestly no idea. For all I know it could be refrigerant they plan to drink before storming the place to hide their body temp only to find out they killed themselves.

Anything is possible.

Actually I am 60% sure they will get shot by snipers.

For those of you who don’t know. Area 51 has signs posted on wire fencing that, The property is secured by, watched by, and a perimeter kept by, active snipers. They do not fuck around. You trespass, your ass is getting shot. It is a government base and civilians no matter your privilege or religious belief, are promised to meet whatever deity you believe in the moment you step foot on that field and charge toward their base.

So the plan is set. They are headed to Vegas for Operation Get Rekt.

They are supposed to meet with a woman who’s father worked at Area 51, and wrote a book about his experience there. This sounds 100% credible, and Reid is absolutely hoping that is the case, as she will provide helpful intel needed to get onto the base and inside once they clear the sniper field.

Now of course we can’t just willy nilly jump right into the madness, we have to show you all of the tech they’ve acquired. Like thermal cameras and night vision attached to hidden cameras. Which they’ve attacked to themselves for testing at of all places, a strip club. So that’s where the nudity in the film comes in.

Their plan from the hotel, is meet the lady, get the intel. They drive up to the boarder, Reid and his friend Darrin will exit the vehicle and storm the field, while Ben drives calmly across and to safety.

This is not a good plan, unless your plan is to get shot. I am now 78% sure they will be.

Even his friend Ben tells them this, and it’s great. He is having a real human moment, outside the bro zone. Where he realizes this is all kinda crazy(which it is), and his friends could get shot and die(Which they will) and he will get arrested(he will) and be sad his friends are dead(Prison is sadder).

But Reid assures him this is all, part of the plan. Things will go smoothly. Because if you believe hard enough. ANYTHING. IS. POSSIBLE!

Apparently.

Well the sketchy woman they were meant to meet, ended up being there and only semi sketchy, her name is Jelena. She is taking the group to her fathers storage container. After he died she had his belongings packed up and put into a storage container and she apparently hands out intel on a top secret weapons testing base for fun online. Neat.

Apparently her dad was fired for asking too many questions. She rented out a huge ass storage unit, for a single box. Which contained all his paperwork. His death was ruled a suicide, which she claims was not the kind of person he was. It was the men in black!!

But of course.

The most important thing they have here which the group is going to use. Is a hand drawn map. The words hand drawn map, and area 51…go together like Peanut Butter and Jelly in conspiracy circles.

But in reality it goes reliably together like peanut butter and nutty shit.

Speaking of nutty shit, Jelena has more intel for our trio. She has photos of the man her father was stalking, well…following. And she believes this man has what they call S4 clearance on the base. If this is true, then our group will need to also stalk this man, and get his clearance badge…somehow. Hopefully a hit job because THAT will secure for the group Reid’s sincerity to see this op through.

It honestly is a bit out there, but then again what do you expect about a film dealing with three bro’s storming Area 51?

My sister and her hubby, they regularly attend UFO fest in Oregon. They go drinking, listening to lectures, get books signed, and enjoy the festivities. They would not likely go to Area 51, because as they would tell you, they are “not that crazy”. They just like to hear Bob Lazar and others talk about their ‘legitimate’ experiences.

I like going to Viking fest and drinking mead because, mead is good.

SO for any who are watching this film(Or think too) prepare thy selves for a celebrity appearance. They are going all out on this operation. Reid has brought in the help of Norio Hayakawa. He is most known for his work in Ufology and…we shall leave it at that as you should investigate the man yourself a bit more. Fun guy.

He is brought in for a special appearance as he helps Reid to navigate on a map the best point of possibly entry for them along the borders of area 51, with less cameras and heat sensory technology, a good place for them to park their escape car, and a nice spot to pee without fear of rattlesnakes. There are rattlesnakes out there so, bring your clackers.

Enjoy it while it last, because the heat is on. The group is now preparing to follow an unmarked jet landing in what is known as the JANET terminal, or as conspiracy folks believe it is known Just. Another. None. Existent. Terminal. I am not joking.

Now it is my believe, as I recall. That these filmmakers brought on help from this community to offer…advice and try to lend a sense of authenticity to the film and the attempted “If I were to storm area 51, how would I do it.” Equation. It’s, endearing. Bless them.

Honestly the movie isn’t that bad, I’m enjoying it. It’s calm it’s only 20 minutes, so we still hav an hour and 10 minutes of potential batshit craziness awaiting us, and I absolutely am expecting it now. It’s not really that bad of a setup, it’s just coming off strongly of a ‘Dudes weekend gone wrong’, like I get supporting your friend and wanting to be a part of something that is important to them, but. Convincing your friends to raid a highly well known, highly guarded, and highly likely place you will march into your own death spot? These guys do not strike me as the logical sort who would do this.

I mean even back when the raid area 51 thing was being taken seriously and you had all these people claiming they were going to storm the base and demand answers to UFO’s. They all talked a big game, the officials warned they will shoot anyone who was stupid enough to do. And when the big day came, after all these people paid to go out there and video tape it? Not one stupid soul risked their life. Because they all knew they’d die! Proving people may believe in flying saucers and different alien beings who either are here for peace or to collect us for slave labor and food. But they don’t believe armed guards will let them walk onto a base without getting exploded by trained snipers.

So terminal Janet. Its supposedly used for unmarked planes to fly employees into the area and off to the base. It beats dealing with TSA.

So our group is chasing this man down, stalking him. Just like the ladies father did before his ‘suicide’, in hopes that they will succeed where he failed. Because where that man was just one. They are three. Yeah…hell yeah. Obviously three guys in a van, with a camera, pointing at your car, following you, moving around erratically inside is nothing to be suspicious about. Especially when that same van parks outside your house and waits for you to leave.

But it works! The man takes off in the middle of the night, likely for some mountain dew before he begins raiding with his WoW buddies at work. With that Reid surprises his friends by running out of the van, right for the guys house just as the car is pulling out, again not suspicious at all. Even less suspicious when he tosses a ball inside the garage to prevent the door from closing. Prompting me to believe, either the neighborhood hates this guy for not putting his trash out on time, or they don’t believe in neighborhood watch programs as this would normally alert neighbors and anyone who cares about break ins in the area!

But the group did it. Reid broke in, he got the work badge, and a fingerprint off of his cologne bottle. Darrin even went in to help Reid with his crime of home invasion. Its just the slightest bit tense as of course the car ends up coming back to the house. Not only that but there’s a doggo in the house to. But the dog is bypassed with the gift of jerky, and the employee returns home, not alone. But with his family. Yep, dude has his wife and daughter with him. But Darren and Reid make it out just fine, they got what they needed and, now we get a moment of clarity from of all people, the man who proclaims multiple times that it is near impossible for him to not be a dick to people, Ben.

Ben is freaking the holy fuck out over the fact his friends just committed a huge crime, they could’ve been caught, they could face prison time. There are a lot of could’ve happened attached to what they just did. Reid of course is fine with it. Darren is okay with it, but Ben. Is no longer fine with it.

Ben has had it. He is worried for his friends, prompting FINALLY the question that needed asking much earlier on. Why are you doing this?

If you knew Reid planned to raid area 51 and break into the most secure and highly noted bases, why did you agree to come along?

Ben tells them he honestly didn’t think they’d take it this far. He felt it was just a kind of joke, that they’d maybe dick around at the fence, party and meet some conspiracy chicks. Ben came to party, he didn’t expect Reid had lost his sanity and was actually stupid enough to attempt breaking into a military testing base.

Now…

This is a good point. It’s a logical question, and response you know. You care about your friend, you want to make sure they’re safe. You don’t understand  fully what’s going on with them, but you can tell they need help, and support of some kind. You just don’t want to see them throw themselves into a suicide run or end up in prison over something related to UFO’s and breaking into goddamn Area 51!

The only problem with this. Is the timing of this question.

I don’t mean so much the timing of the question on the film. So much as the timing when…well.

The moment your friend loses their job over their obsession with UFO’s

The moment your friend begins spending untold thousands of dollars on thermal suits, night vision gear, liquid freon, ammonia pills, a suite at the Hooters Las Vegas Hotel facing a classified none existent airport terminal, a reserved hotel at a trailer near area 51, thermal cameras, hidden cameras, jamming technology, sensory technology, STOLEN GOVERNMENT ROAD SENSORS. Anonymous contacts online with intel to help you sneak onto the base.

If any

Of those things are discussed, before you are even given your first ammonia pill, and you haven’t asked “Are you actually serious?” then you know…that’s on you pal.

But I digress. Ben may want to logic this out and keep his friends safe, he may also not want any part of this as well. But he’s still going to do it.

Bro’s don’t leave bro’s behind.

They do however protest whenever vaginas are involved. I say that not as a sexist, as I am not. But because these guys are totally fine bro’ing with their bros, but the moment Jelena says to Reid she’d like to come along, because these assholes killed her father. That’s when Darren and Ben chant ‘Homies over hoes’, but Reid is equal opportunity and he recognizes this lady got them what they needed to get into this place so they need to shut their shit holes up, and accept her into the bro zone. So she is sworn in as an honorary bro and is now getting fitted for a freon filled body temp lowering suit, gas mask, and we are good to go, all lights on the board are green, it’s time to light this candle. Operation Fuck the Man is underway!

Seriously they are doing it. They scouted the area, they got help from local nut jobs to find their point of entry, and Ben, outside of their own better judgement has decided to go along as the escape driver. I mean dude just has to chill out in his van. He’s not in any trouble really. Unless feral ufo hippies find him and start questioning him, or he goes to take a piss and a rattle snake bites his dick.

So armed with their technology, the best Amazon can offer for second day delivery on Prime, they enter the field. Evading Helicopters. SOMEHOW. Escaping heat sensory traps. OBVIOUSLY. And quickly switching off after unburying and dismantling government road sensors in the sand. SKILLFULLY. And not one sniper, not one chopper, not one alien has found them. Only a snake. A happy go lucky out on the town at night snake. Who passes by them unharmed.

It could be an alien! They don’t know! It’s not.

Sadly.

So with little excitement or any real threat. Our group has finally, after 55 minutes made their way into the illustrious and forbidden Area 51. Which, for the most part. Looks like a normal office and I am sure would be hugely underwhelming to a lot of people. Which is what I suspect it’d look like and be to anyone who actually made it there.

Our own imagination will always far out weigh the reality any day of the week. Unfortunately.

So finding the place not at all as promised in the Men in Black movies, with wise cracking aliens, and goofy stuff happening all around you with variously sized creatures, the group decide to roam around in the sub darkness in a place that, for its absolute high levels of security where they kill people who ask too many questions? There is a surprising lack of security cameras. Odd.

Moving along though…

The most excitement these people find comes from a near run in, with a janitor. But also they discovered some lab that happens to have pictures of a human with noted ‘odd’ markings around his face. Not exactly something to document when you find someone with herpies but you know. While in Rome.

Things actually do get a little interesting, but not over the top so. That’s nice of them. The group as they travel further into the depths of this massive base. Making as much noise as humanly possibly while going down the stairs. They are able to enter the restricted area thanks to the lifted fingerprint from the employees bottle of cologne they stole. They begin taking a glance around of all things, the shower stalls. Maybe they want to get rid of the sand from earlier, or the sweet, sweet lady Freon coating their bodies inside their suits. But no. They are scared away as they uncover suits in the shower room, which is odd work practice to leave out in the open. Even odder is that none of the lockers in the wash room have locks on them. That’s highly sus.

Or just poor work practices. OSHA would not approve, that’s for damn sure.

One of the cool things they find though, and also a HUGE red flag, is a guards vest inside a locker. It is missing a large chunk from its chest plate. How is it missing? Because something took a huge ass bite out of it!

Why. Would you. Store. A damaged. Vest. In your. Locker.

Anyway.

Our group is not done yet with their personal tour of Area 51. People want aliens, they want alien tech. They want alien sperm! So you shall HAVE your alien sperm!

Or tech. They find alien tech.

They happen upon of all wonderful things, a hallway of curiosities. Which contain ‘cells’. Cells which house alien beings, potentially. Warm cell doors, cold sell doors, liquid cell doors, Fish tank cell doors. Celdor. The Tesseract.

They also find a science room. Which has every single object, item, and vile of precious alien cum that the town locals said this place would have.

From spinning free floating intelligent rocks, to reactive alien splooge in a bowl, to liquid metal that dances to Kesha. You name it they got it.

So being dumbasses acting like they’re at the zoo, tapping on the glass and generally annoying otherwise peaceful specimen, this causes the cum bowl and floating rock to act out. The cum bubble spits out at the protective glass toward Jelena, and Reid nearly gets his head taken off as the floating rock breaks rather easily through its containment box and out into the open world.

Why there are no blaring alarms going off is, anyones guess. Likely the same reason they don’t have any security cameras and worst of all, no safety stations. CALL OSHA! SERIOUSLY!!

So after letting loose onto the world a floating independently sentient rock, the group continue roaming without concern or care, and find. Well wouldn’t you know it? A real life flying saucer! Golly!

Yes, they find a vintage flying saucer. Which oddly. ODDLY Reid is able to interact with, but Darrin and Jelena aren’t. INT-TER-EST-ING!!

But not at all. We get it. Reid was abducted and fingered by aliens. He can now interact with their tech. The guy also had a bloody nose while down there, which happens to people who were visited by aliens, and people in anime when staring at a girls panties. Odd fact, but true.

So Reid has fun hanging out in a real space ship, while his friend Darrin and new bro gal Jelena panic outside the ship. He apparently was able to get inside it, and is having a moment to himself. Is her jerking it inside the ship? I mean why not. If you wanna start a galactic war, that’s how I’d do it.

But no. He is putting everyone in a panic as he’s treating breaking into the most secure, heavily guarded, none security camera believing military testing base, like going to the science museum and playing with all the displays, while his friends, the parents urge him to hurry the fuck up so they don’t all die in prison.

Or worse die in a pool of alien jizz.

Now. You would imagine that, having captured what they had on video so far. Would be enough to go public with, right? It’d be enough to show other UFO nuts and validate what you did. It’d also be more than enough for officials to black bag your ass and your family to discover you recently killed yourself for unknown reasons.

But noooooooooo. Reid wants to go deeper, further.

Honestly, if you find yourself in a top secret military instillation. Of which no one outside of a short list of known people were supposed to see. You would be grateful for even 2 minutes of footage including a space craft, the inside of one, and sentient alien jizz.

But no. Reid is on a field trip that no one signed up for.

Get ready for the big surprise.

The surprise? A large hangar sized area. With a single door, and a large indoor fenced gate WITH. I shit you not.

WITH

THE

ONLY

SECURITY CAMERA!!!

Now. I am not what you would call, an entirely smart man.

But if I was roaming a base, where aliens are kept prisoner, and evidence of extra terrestrial life exist all around me, and this one room. This large. Open. Empty room. Is the only one with a SINGLE. SECURITY. CAMERA.

That is the one room I am saying let’s not fuck around and find out.

But Reid. This dumbass white boy. Reid is a special kind of stupid, and he is rushing for the door, because “I have to see! We have to find out whats in there!” this bitch…

Using their stolen fingerprint, they are able to access the gate, and the moment they touch the doorhandle? SECURITY BREACH! SECURITY BREACH! Alarms are blaring like mad, we have armed guards coming out yelling the most calming word in the human language ‘FREEZE!’

Which they do not! They run like hell and. Our group is now separated. Everyone is on their own adventure.

Reid and Jelena are going FURTHER DOWN!! Because yolo fuck it why not. They stumble onto the motherload. They found Alien space suits. Yes the favorite theory Ufologist have that the elongated bodies, the greys we know as aliens are actually space suits they put on that allow them to survive and breath on earth. We also discover the Aliens that fit inside those grey suits and run like hell. They also discover dug out tunnels underground. Apparently Dig Dug was based on a real life thing.

These tunnels are full of clothing and old toys. Including some old dolls that Jelena remembered having when SHE was a baby. So apparently her dad was handing down her toys to aliens or possibly abducted children for the aliens to experiment on. Perhaps she HERSELF is the byproduct of such things?! Who can say. This movie certainly isn’t.

All this movie is telling us. Is that Reid is a dick bag. I never imagined I would miss Ben or say this about his character, but I agree with Ben about this being serious Bullshit with a capital B, and this is how they all die. From some bullshit.

Meanwhile. Poor Darrin. That dude is on his own, and he is not having the fun time adventure those guys are. He is dealing with a base full of armed guards, blaring alarms. Men on golf carts racing along corridors, and responding to intruders. This is not the adventure he signed up for.

Even better? EVEN. BETTER. Apparently the door that Reid opened, that set off these alarms? And possibly the flying rock he antagonized? This set off a chain of events within the facility. This has started a jail break of epic interplanetary proportions.

Seriously the aliens are out of containment and no one is safe.

All because.

A single dude. Named Reid.

Decided to fuck around, and find out.

So Darrin is now running for his life. From aliens. Aliens in the plural sense. He encounters a thicc and I do mean THICC alien that swallows a guards head, another that reacts to metal and lifts objects with its mind. Also an odd alien with pincher arms.

People are dying, Derrin is shitting his pants to full capacity and beyond.

At this point, with everything going on and all the shit he’s seeing, it’s actually funny. No one wants to die from aliens and the guards, the employees, even the janitor with his stereo headphones on, are all outside the facility running for their lives. No one cares who is who, and if they belong or not. It’s just running time. So Derrin escapes! The dude actually makes it out alive. Unharmed, with only his pants destroyed internally.

As for Jelena and Reid? Those two are fucked.

How do we know this? Well. As we have learned a few things from previous films we have watched thus far. Let’s go over their current situation and see if you can spot what went wrong, yes? Okay.

Running away from the dreaded tunnels of aliens. They found an elevator and a hallway. Which lead them, in the dark. To a large drainage pipe. With a secured. Latched lid.

This lid, is leaking white goo all around the latches.

There is an odd smell, and sound coming from this sealed pipe. With white goo coming out around its latches that secure the lid to the pipe.

Now. Being in an alien base. A base where Aliens are imprisoned, against their will, others are working apparently with humans. And all items not of this earth are being stored and studied, and other more dangerous beings are kept locked in cages.

Would logic not tell you. A sealed hatch, over a pipe, with weird unknown white goo oozing from it. Is in fact. Not a thing you should open? And further, perhaps. Not a thing you should escape down into? Could this indeed be a cell for other life forms? Logic would say yes. Though video game logic dictates this could be a teleporting hole and just like Mario, you need to leap inside to teleport.

So they do.

Reid and Jelena go down the alien tube. Which is alien. Do not mistake that. It is a fact.

They are headed down a long, long tubular shaft, lined with white alien goo, and the moment they stop to consider this might have been a bad idea. They slide down the goo slide and find themselves inside a large completely white room. With no discernable doorways, hallways. Nothing.

So of course they venture around. As they do, they discover sheets of skin, hanging from the ceiling, and a life form within one of these skin sheets. Lovely.

They end up separated, because Reid has never had a relationship and assumed Jelena would just naturally follow him blindly, and that he wouldn’t at all have to help her get out of there. So when he finds her, she’s in a trance. In a large room. Her eyes are freaky creepy, she is unresponsive, and Reid suddenly is having PTSD as his camera starts floating, and then he and Jelena start floating, and he realizes ‘Here we go again!”, and sure enough. Here we go again.

Those dipshits entered a tube, which lead into a space craft within the facility. Which thanks to them fucking around, is now free to part from the facility. And is taking them along for the ride.

But!

We are not done yet! Oh no, no, no. We are not.

Derrin has made it to Ben! Ben the savior! He found the truck, he runs out to his best friend and tells him to never mind the smell from his pants, just drive! Floor it and GTFO like your life depends on it!

Ben naturally ask where there two friends are and Derrin politely tells him to shut his hole and buy some roses to throw on the ground. Because those two are either dead, about to be dead, or being ram rodded by alien dicks as they speak. Derrin is past the point of caring, and that man just wants to go home.

As the duo make way out of the desert, in the escape van. Of course it stalls. Because warble, warble, warble. ALIENS!!

Yes! An alien ship flies over head and these two bros are abducted themselves. Leaving behind both cameras that filmed their amazing adventure.

The end!!

You know? It wasn’t that bad?

I really was expecting it to go off the deep end. Which it teased with Darrin and his Alien adventures. I almost wanted to see the aliens they’d come up with for this. But I am glad they didn’t. Kind of. It was a silly story, absolutely. But it knew that.

Everything I picked at in this movie was not me griping. I wasn’t taring it apart, Lisa. I was enjoying it. It was just funny to me in the same way that 80’s movies were funny.

For instance take the classic film CHUD 2. CHUD for the uninitiated stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. I believe the first film was Robert Downey Jr’s first film too. Anyway the sequel has two high school friends, breaking into a top secret military facility.

Using the back door. Escaping with a corpse on a stretcher. Which turns out to be a CHUD.

Only in the 80’s could you get away with shit like that, but you did it knowing it was for fun. And it was!

This felt in the same vein as that. Of course you can’t take this seriously. There are other UFO found footage films that absolutely are scary and meant to be taken semi seriously. I’ve seen a lot of them and they absolutely can be pretty damn convincingly well done. I mean shit even Altair we watched not long ago, that was done pretty damn well.

This was just a fun popcorn movie. Told again through found footage, versus an actual found footage film. It had a big budget and studio names attached, so yeah they had a lot more available to them they could do and get away with. It was a nice playground for them to use and they used it pretty well. The movie isn’t that highly rated and. I get that. If you went into this hoping for a realistic take on the storming of Area 51, you would’ve had a shorter film, and sniper fire ending it. To be fair everything these guys did was pretty well looked into. Even though it would never, could never happen. It gave enough credence to the premise to at least make it plausible and setup the audience for just HOW they’d plan to pull it off.

It's not a case of say the movie HEAT, where someone is going to reinact everything these dickbags did and break into Area 51. Again, see sniper reference.

It was just an enjoyable fun little dumb ride of a film, the ending wasn’t really a surprise, they always end up taken in these things. They even managed to get one thing right that I griped about with the otherwise perfect la posesión de altair, They showed us a flying saucer FLYING. Not just flying, but in bright day light flying. They did it just right. It only lingers on the screen for a few brief moments, enough to get a good look at it, but not enough to say the ship is posing for photographers.

It was restrained shooting and I respect that. Dicks out for restraint man.

The acting however was. About what it could be. They weren’t meant to be memorable, or faces you’ll see any time soon in another major project. It’s unfortunately true of most these types of films. In fact, the only one out of this entire cast who went on and continued in film and television work is Jelena, as played by…Jelena Nik. She’s popped up on Netflix shows, and a couple others on cable as well. Good for them.

The director however. Oh boy.

This is a man who didn’t dip his finger in the cookie batter, he fisted it and licked the damn bowl clean. Oren Peli produced, wrote, and directed the first Paranormal Activity film. He has since then produced every other Paranormal Activity film. He also dipped his hands into the Insidious series, The bay, Chernobyl Diaries(another found footage classic), I mean this guy knew where his bread and butter was and he stuck to that butter. Good for him. Maybe one day he can make a scary Paranormal Activity movie. ONE DAY.

Seriously those movies are just………a chore. But the man made money. They all did.

At any rate. This wasn’t an award winning film. It’s not going on any top ten for me. But it was entertaining, it delivered a respectable crazy final act, the stupidity of the characters kept me entertained. The nods to UFO people being put into the film was a great touch to draw that crowd in. Over all it was a fun time, and I’m glad for silly shit like this. It REALLY could’ve gone into absolute terrible territory, it could have sucked the sweat off a donkey’s balls in Texas during the summer. But it didn’t.

Good on you movie.

That being said, until tomorrow as always. Don’t go down holes you don’t know. Especially if you find those holes lined with white sticky goo. Especially don’t go opening doors in a room. WITH THE ONLY DAMN SECURITY CAMERA IN THE ENTIRE PLACE!!