SPOOPYWEEN DAY 24 DON'T LOOK AWAY!!!!!

Day 24

Don’t Look Away

One thing I gotta say I love about picking movies that I’ve never seen and just came out is, I love when a trailer looks so stupid, and the audience scores agree. But it makes you laugh. In fact the funny thing about this is the trailer.

I didn’t even watch the trailer.

I was about to.

But then I saw the first comment on the page and it made me laugh, “Well, At least Ken got his own movie finally”.

That sold me. The scores online are…not favorable. But the difference between those unfavorable scores, and say the shit scores for Exorcist Believer? Is one of these at least looks like it was meant to be entertaining.

So it made the list.

I mean what, did you expect I’d watch SAW 10 or something? Come on.

So with that said, let’s get ready for what I assume will be a brisk enjoyably dumb hour and 23 minutes. Or I will end up killing a good buzz started by our last film, Consecrated.

The Film

When criminal masterminds break into a truck and unleash an unholy hell on the world. You know you’re in for a good time. Usually. With a funky looking Mannequin well, that’s just silly. But silly is what we are here for.

That and rocking out to the most generic of songs about ratting a mans monkey cage.

But yes, our low budget fun fest begins with three men robbing a truck driver of his precious cargo. Which turns out to be one lone box. Like a Dracula box, in his truck. Only there is no Dracula. It’s just a mannequin with a questionable face.

That just happens to snarl, claw and devour you when you…look away. Hence the title!

So unfortunately for our three criminals. They all die, quickly and with gusto. Sort of. I mean one shakes the freight truck hard enough to suggest a roller disco inside. The other is standing and falls over. A third gurgles and dies, while the truck driver wakes up, runs away from a mannequin and gets killed by Frankie. A lady driving home at night.

She’s mildly in shock after killing a man she couldn’t avoid hitting and smashing across her car. By mildly of course I mean she is mentally pissing herself still after having actually pissed herself.

Which is made all the more clear when she arrive shome to her hipster cuck husband, or boyfriend. The man is a treasure of tropes, and his death will be wonderfully fun I hope. The man is annoying in every way one could be. In such a way in fact that you’d raise a fist to them, but stop yourself as you aren’t sure. Do I punch this man? Or slap him, until you put your fist down and sigh, figuring life will take care of him for you.

It's the kind of fun I was hoping for. She gets home, he immediately ask her how her day was. She drops her books on the floor and is barely holding it together. He’s jabbering on about how her day was likely busy with studying for her exam, and how she’s gonna ace it and do so well. Be so cool. How they’ll move to a home in San Fransisco and live with a dog.

Now I know this is a comedy. No one willingly wants to live in San Fran. Especially today. Let alone a true hipster. It’s just not worth the cred it used to be.

The man is clueless to her suffering until she breaks down crying. Which even them I am sure he still wanted to know if she’s make him an almond milk smoothy.

So what does one do when they run over and kill a truckdriver, destroying their car and shattering your false sense of safety in this world?

You go clubbing and take molly! Obviously!

It’s the best idea ever, especially when you tell people you feel you are being haunted, followed by some monstrous faceless thing. How could Molly not be the answer in that situation? Especially when your besties take you to a club full of drunk horny perverts that want to dance with you once you look sufficiently out of your mind?

Seriously you darn kinds. Back in my day we had booze and pcp. Now you got all these fancy pills and legal weed.

Where have all the good times gone. Sigh.

Well have no worries. As Frankie takes some molly offered by her friend…molly. Which is also the name of a Basset Hound I had as a kid. She freaks out sufficiently and it’s hard to feel bad. I mean it’s hilarious. Molly tells her to stick with her for 30 minutes, because some guy looks ready to make a move on her. So she gives Frankie a shot of booze, and a molly pill.

Not to be confused with Molly Pills the amazing PornHub talent.

It’s the cheesiest dance and drug montage of her night going funky cold madina on her. Topped off of course by the appearance of her mannequin friend. Who is being spotted by two of her friends. Including Molly. Who is also on Molly.

Frankie makes a B line for the cleanest club bathroom I’ve ever witnessed with my own eyes, and after splish splashing some water on her face to undo the effects of the drug. Which absolutely work. She’s ready to face reality in the club.

Only the people in the club are all dead.

Did they die of Molly from Molly? Sadly no.

They died after DJ Killsalot D-Mannequin scratched some vinyl and put out some fire mixes.

Unfortunately Molly Is still alive. She managed to figure out staring at the killer mannequin keeps it from stalking and killing you. Seeing as she’s the best friend ever in the whole wide world, the moment she hears Frankie pop into the club. She runs like her stomach just signaled her she’s gonna shit herself if she doesn’t find a toilet immediately.

The girls take off running and boom, Molly is dead. How, why, don’t know.

But goodbye Molly.

These people are all disposable meatbags, which is fine. I didn’t come here expecting Shakespear or someone to cry over. I am getting exactly what I hoped for and make no mistake. This movie is absolutely horrible and I get the low ratings. Absolutely.

This film is shit, its meant to be a homage to older horror, while having a silly streak. But at the same time it very much is coming off as one of those, it tried to hard being what it was. So it’s not really working to its full potential.

But it is nailing the stupidity side.

I will give the film one bit of credit though. Which it deserves.

Like most films of this variety. When someone has the idea to make a horror film. There’s usually one. One.

RARELY two scenes. That have a good set up and would look better in a different horror film. This film has such a scene.

As one of Frankies friends is out enjoying the night air. He comes across the Manne…you know I hate spelling that whole thing out. Let’s go with Stiffy.

While out and about, this friend runs into Stiffy. The moment he looks away. Stiffy is back to facing him. Eventually he runs off and seems to have lost the Stiffy. Heh…

He spots a man outside his van enjoying a smoke, the man glares at him and gets back inside his van to head off. As he does. We hear a kid on his bike, ringing his bike bell. As the bike vanishes behind the truck. The bell stops. And the bike continues on, without the kid. Eventually toppling to the floor.

It’s a really good scene, and one of those I feel they wrote KNOWING this was going to look so cool. I’d love seeing it in a serious horror film honestly. Here it’s a nice touch of heart. Showing someone did their homework. But the film just doesn’t have that hit to it, that’d make it stand out as really creepy.

Especially in a movie with such a great follow up as having Frankie being comforted by Cuck boy, who tries telling her that, her night, at the club. With all those dead people, and her dead friend Molly. That was just a bad night. A super bad night, that can be explained.

Maybe they took some bad drugs? Maybe there was a gas leak. Maybe it was the Leprechaun.

The guy is just. He’s the sore on the bottom tip of your tongue that manages to hit your teeth randomly and just hurt like a bitch. And every time he’s on screen its like taking a sour patch candy and touching it directly to that spot to try and dry it out. Causing you a very specific type of pain.

But he’s funny.

I just also. Can’t. With this. Like I love that an entire dance club full of people. All die somehow. Bloody horrible deaths. And not only is Cuck boy telling her its okay, she just had a bad night. But the police aren’t questioning her. The girl who just the other night killed a truck driver. The lone survivor of a club massacre, and she’s home in bed, with a latte and her man child.

‘kay.

Everyone is a bit off in this, and that’s by design it feels. Quick dialog. Quick scenes. Low low budget dreams. The film feels like a cross between…the style of Psychogorman without the charm, and a RedLetterMedia film, minus the funny.

It’s telling their story. In its own style. It’s just. Definitely not your usual film.

One of those where you can tell they had an idea. They had a story. But they didn’t exactly reach the stars they were hoping for. Or if they did, they really should’ve aimed higher. I mean that as a good thing. I’ll explain after the film.

What we get is what you’d expect, when you combine a teen horror premise in a film made for 30-40’s horror people. The remaining group of friends she has. All end up getting told by her what she saw, and what she believes happened. Of course no one believes her. Until her friend who saw the kid on his bike vanish sticks up for her and tells them he saw it too. More importantly. Someone posted a video online about a killer doll that only gets you once you look away. She also dies in the video. The friends all agree this is crazy and silly. Until they all see Stiffy standing out in the street. They laugh it off as a prank. Until they look away for a moment then look back. Only to find Stiffy now right outside the door. They look away again and this time, he’s inside the house behind them.

All of this however is immediately undercut, when Cuck Boy arrives. Then Stiffy vanishes. Which makes sense. And everyone carries on with life as if nothing happened. Just a weird spooky night bro.

This is, unfortunately the moment the movie shifts and loses itself a bit.

Which is sad.

Two things happen from here.

Firstly. All of her friends begin seeing Stiffy everywhere they go.

A few of them die.

Meanwhile Steve, Cuck Boy. Is suddenly changing character. He’s acting like a possessed man. He’s drinking alone in a manly bar. Which is not his scene. At all. He’s talking to no one, about how he’s losing his girlfriend. How he’s insanely jealous, he’s possessive, and borderline abusive. If it was established that Stiffy could invade your mind, or drop subtle suggestions to make you question those around you. It’d make sense. But no. Cuck Boy is just a totally different character now.

So of course when the group of friends get together to discuss what they need to do now, and how to stay alive. Steve arrives home, drunk off his ass. And he’s lashing out at everyone. Especially Frankies friend Jonah, who just so happens to have had a little crush on her. But Steve is making this out to be as if the two have been fucking every night in front of him. Which I mean. Cuck confirmed. But  the man is just. He’s really acting like he needs a snickers. Like he’s not himself while he’s hungry.

It's just such an odd turn for him and it’s really not explained. But in a film this short. I guess not everything has its time.

Once again the group are confronted by Stiffy. This time though. They realize, what…was already setup earlier. If you don’t look away. It won’t move. But you look away, it kills you. So they get a grand idea. An actually credible interesting idea. Why not move the thing, Store it. SOMETHING.

But no. that idea gets abandoned for one that will make the plot move along in just the way its supposed to. They instead will take turns staring at it all night and tomorrow until they decide what to do with it.

What could go wrong right?

A lot. Mostly not good. Also mostly predictable and just more what the hell.

Mostly involving Steve, naturally.

We get a mix of our friends taking turns watching and nearly passing out watching Stiffy. While Steve watches Frankie and Jonah chatting outside, and immediately assuming they’re fucking.

It’s the weirdest goddamn thing because the guy goes from. Stupidly friendly and cuck worthy hipster trash. To raging alcoholic and clingy jealous dick in 5 seconds of a juicy fart.

It’s like the scene in Tenacious D’s Pick of Destiny where they’re having lunch at a diner and Jack black randomly ask the waitress with a black eye if she’s okay. It’s just a what the hell moment because you expect it to go somewhere. Like hey this could be important. But it literally existed just so Jack Black could later say he shows he’s observant and cares about the ladies. So it was pointless. But still funny for its randomness.

Steve is not. Nor is his jealousy arch. Which grows oddly weird. Er.

He goes from watching his lady and Jonah, teeth clinched and butthole puckered, to then standing over a sleeping friend of Frankies, pulling back her blanket. Ready to take a trip to rape town. Or quietly have an angry jerk over her while she sleeps.

Does he? Thankfully no. Because the movie wants to do something you really shouldn’t do, especially in a movie this bad. Pay homage to The Shining, which they do twice. Actually. Without using The Shining no less. Frankie has what’s supposed to be The Shining playing in the background, where we hear someone not Scatman Crothers talk about ‘The shining’, and now we have Frankie in her bedroom, looking over curious at her Cuck Boys laptop, where his ‘thesis’ is being written. Only to find endless columns repeating the word Mannequin.

There’s good homages in low budget films, like Bad CGI Sharks, and their jaws jokes, and then there are bad ones, like movies that say things like “Over at the old Romero house, on Savini Street”, you just….you don’t.

You resist it, and you do something else.

This was just cringy. You knew it was coming, it wasn’t a good thing, and seeing it just makes you sigh.

Thankfully Steve has opted not to rape Frankies sleeping friend. Though jerking off might’ve done wonders for his attitude. No. Instead he is taking out his cucking frustrations on another Stiffy. The one everyone can’t keep their eyes off of. Maybe because he feels intimidated by it and all the attention everyone is giving that Stiffy. Heh…

I’ll stop, some day.

Well he has a plan to make everyones lives a whole lot better. He’s seen Paranormal Activity, he remembers only good things happened when Micah burned the Quija board. So he suddenly sets fire to Stiffy. Proving to everyone its just a silly mannequin. That half melts before vanishing into a small explosion of gray smoke. Totally normal mannequin disposal habits.

Of course he seals his fate when he adds ‘See, its just a dumb mannequin’.

Yes he gets killed. But like everyone else, its off screen and not that eventful. He just has his head lopped off. In a very unsatisfying way.

But there is hope for our group. At least The Cuck is gone, and no more awkwardness, or wondering if you’ll wake up in the middle of the night to a grown man crying over you furiously beating off a semi hard dick.

Good luck with that image in your head.

But no, the group is getting a last minute player added to the game. Old man Jenkins. Yep. We got the perfect foe for Stiffy. A blind man. Who was the one having Stiffy transported in his crate.

He unloads a bunch of backstory that just tells us what already happened to this group. His friends found the thing, its evil. Killed his friends. Killed his friends friends. His friends, friends family and friends, and their friends, and their dogs, and dogs friends.

If you are worried about his safety and the groups? Don’t worry

Because we are at the final 20 minutes of the film. Seriously I’m not joking. This was a brisk walk through the sex shop. Like when you randomly pick an isle to walk through, acting like you’ve been in a sex shop tons of times before. And you end up picking the BDSM/GONZO fetish films section, so you keep walking and end up in the grannies with huge tits section. So you walk even faster until you find the parodies. Then you feel safe.

It's kinda unfortunate. But we’ll get to that.

So this is going to be fast and dirty. But at least a little different.

Everyone is keeping an eye out for Stiffy. All but the blindman. Because, he’s blind…moving on.

Frankie and Jonah spot Stiffy outside. She immediately tells Jonah to get blind man Jenkins. He’ll know what to do since he came to help them stop it. While Jonah takes off to find the old man. Frankies bestie. The one who was going to get possibly creeper raped by Steve earlier. She decides to comfort Blind Pew about the loss of his friends. Blind Pew tells her he’s more sorry for her. Which confuses her. Until Blind Pew begins repeatedly stabbing her until she’s super dead.

Well Jonah sees this, is mildly confused, and ask Blind Pew “Hey bud, what’s your problem?” Blind Pew using his Daredevil senses lunges at Jonah and stibbity stabbity takes him out.

Now we are down to poor Frankie, who just wants to relax. Only now she finds herself in a B movie version of the Lights Out film, crafty lady versus blind crazy old man.

The only good we get out of this now. Is Frankie ask Blind Pew, ‘Hey bud, what’s your problem?’

So he tells her just what is problem is. The man figured out the only way to get rid of this thing. Is to kill everyone who saw it. Since all the people, so far. Who have seen it are in that house. He just has to kill them all. Then the thing has no power, and he can…Honestly I have no idea what he can or will do then.

Like is he going to stumble around blindly until he bumps into it and burn it? Throw it in a closet and pat himself on the back? God. Is he going to comically feel around for a shovel, and dig a hole to bury it. Getting frustrated each time he has to stop because he hears someone else who saw it, then he has to stop and kill them before digging again?

I honestly have no idea. But he tries darn it. He tries and fails. Just when you think he might kill poor Frankie. Jonah pops out of nowhere with a bloody baseball bat and beats in Blind Pews brains. But before the two can try and escape, they end up with a Stiffy. Who chases Frankie until. A genuinely creative moment happens.

Honestly I give them props for writing this ending, in an otherwise lackluster quick film.

Just as it looks like its curtains for poor Frankie. She manages to freeze Stiffy in his tracks. How? She got Stiffy to face her full length bedroom mirror.

The thing is now forever stuck. Staring at its own reflection.

So we fast forward from there. Jonah is alive, and well. He is living in an apartment with Frankie. Free to finger blast her without creepy Cuck Steve around. His words not mine.

Of course her life is going super well. She’s doing good in school. Her friends are all dead so she has tons of free time to study, and date Jonah. Things are going great, and they’re only getting better. Until Jonah ask her, what she did with Stiffy, and she tells him he’s being looked over by top men. Top. Men.

Actually she just shoved him in a crate, with the mirror. Two dock workers who look as generic as Dock Worker #1 and Dock Worker #2 can look. These knuckleheads purposely, on accident. Tip over the crate. Cracking the thing open, breaking the mirror. And Stiffy has risen once more, to continue his life as a cheap scifi free version of the Doctor Who Weeping Angel.

The End

So firstly? The first half of this film was funny. Genuinely it has some charm and stupid laughs to it. It knew what it was, and played to it.

But then the film decided to play a different hand. It decided to try and be a bit more serious. This did not work. And by the end, it went generic. Albeit with a nice twist on how to defeat Stiffy. But it just became a generic B movie.

So how did it go wrong?

Like we talked about in the last film. And the key lesson Mr Miyagi taught Daniel. Balance.

This film had an okay premise, and setup. It was setting itself up as a fun time and cheesy horror. It followed all of these marks rather to the point. The music was cheap and matched the look. A sort of grainy grindhouse type style. Which makes sense for what they were going for.

The quickness in which things happen, and the pace we moved at was fine. It’s not a story film, it’s a premise film. By that I mean, no deep character talks, no getting to know anyone. Just point A to point B.

Which it was on par for following.

But what shifted was the moment they felt “Hey, we might actually have something here.” So they began taking it a bit more seriously. Keeping the same pace. But trying to add some tone and depth to the picture. The shift in Steves character versus the joke he started out as. The friends taking Stiffy seriously where before, even after having seen him, they were still joking. One of the friends actually made the joke, even after having seen the mannequin moving on its own after them, “I am a man of science, I don’t believe in this, it’s not real”, it’s the same as Steve and his “See? I’m fine, its just a dumb mannequin”, you know they’re going to die. They didn’t need to say it. But they did. So they can die having said the thing. But again. This was the first act, not the second act where they began trying for a sense of terror. It just never took. Because the tone was notably off.

By the third act we take a shift with Blind Pew’s arrival and the realization. I believe it’s the realization during the filmmaking. We need to end this thing. We don’t have the time or budget to go further with it. We have to wrap this up. Now it wasn’t edited to fit this. I’m just guessing. For all I know? And I can certainly see this being the case. This was just always how the film was meant to play out. But they quickly run through the ending. Blind Pew is brought in, drops backstory, then shows himself to be a new threat to deal with. But they didn’t do anything with the two threats. They remained separate. Like American Dad. You have a killer shark in the water, and a bear on a raft. With you floating on a table between the two.

They could’ve done something clever with the two. But instead they kept it simple. Which is fine! It just would’ve served the film better, had they done something more with Blind Pew and Stiffy. I still give kudos to how they had Frankie handle Stiffy. But it still was underwhelming. They just didn’t have the time to play around with things and it really does feel like they wanted to. Like when they felt they could really do something with the film. They already reached the end and it was time to put the toys away and go home.

I genuinely was surprised when I paused the movie to take a piss and realized we only had 20 minutes left. That was right when Blind Pew arrived. That’s just insane to think.

It really is.

Especially when you begin recalling to yourself just what happened during that time before his arrival.

Nothing really happened. Nothing was really set up. Just a series of quick events. Which normally again, is and can be fine with that type of movie. But it doesn’t work well when the tone has a notable shift in it. Had they stuck with the earlier theme, it would’ve likely felt tighter, more put together and exactly what it was meant to be. Dumb horror fun.

Instead it’s a mixed bag and just, not as good as it feels it should have been.

As I mentioned during the film, its just unfortunate. Because Blind Pew could have been more effectively used, and not only that. But what happened once he arrives. As quickly as it all happened. More could have been done with that.

You could’ve cut out the random scenes earlier on with the friends spotting Stiffy and the quick pointless offing of randoms. Only two deaths were essential in that montage. You could’ve used that time to do something more with the final fight. Fleshed it out a bit more. But that wasn’t their intent.

I was SO ready for a silly dumb horror, and it looked like we’d be headed there. But alas. It was cut too short.

But sometimes that’s the cost of this game. I’ve seen so many films like this. Hell I saw more than I ever wanted or hoped to like this, thanks to an ex of mine who would play every and any horror movie they found on Netflix until they watched them all, then switch over to Hulu and do the same. And Redbox.

I love horror but I mean damn.

Seeing that many films, which include a countless amount just like this. It’s definitely its own type and genre. There’s nothing inherently bad with it. At all. But what I find tends to happen. As was the case here. You stumble onto a film, that you watch and feel bad about. Because you find yourself oddly feeling like, damn. I wish this were a real movie.

You see a low budget dumb horror with a good premise, as I said one or two shots that REALLY stand out as something that’d be really effective in another film. And you really do get this funny feeling where you do actually say ‘Man I wish this movie was a real movie’, because you can tell watching it. You know while watching it. This is going to be short, quick and to the point. Drop your expectations. But when the film does more than just make you laugh, and you find yourself feeling there’s actually a film there. It bums you out. Because you could absolutely SEE this as a studio film, or an A24 picture. Something that if a bit more money was invested in? Would’ve made something.

That being said had a studio touched this. The mannequin would’ve had scars and cuts all over it, a creepier face, and when it got burned we would’ve seen demon skin, blood and heard roars of the damned. So crazy fast B movies are sometimes a blessing. Sometimes.

Would I count this as a loss? No. Just something that could be fun if done in better hands. It feels like an interesting short film would’ve won it some awards in some horror fanfilm fest. Which I mean as a compliment. I don’t feel it deserves the bad reviews it has. At least not all of them. Though I do get it.

If I honestly were to show this to people? The best place I could see putting it? Would be in a triple feature showing.

Start off with Hobo With a Shotgun, Put this film next, and end it with Archenemy.

The first and last film share similar tones. They’re both weirdly funny and a bit gory. But still a cheap fun time, and the last one is definitely not that well known. Making it a “Where did you find this?” gem. Which is a good way to end a night.

So if you need filler, or want something you can put on in the background while waiting for cookies in the oven. Or something to ‘netflix and chill’ your date with. This should about do it. Its not scary enough to change the mood, there’s hardly any blood and what is there is less than you’d see on a typical episode of The Walking Dead. Which even that comparison is grossly one sided still as this barely had anything. You could show this to your grandmother and be safe.

Check it out of you are curious, or want to see what I mean in the ‘what if’ of low budget films genre.

Until tomorrow my friends and followers. Next time you see a mannequin staring at you that’s killing people when they look away? Don’t strain yourself staring it down to live. Don’t try to out smart it. Just make that fucker as uncomfortable as you can. Go play Goodbye Horses on loop, Dance naked while watching it, and make this as freaky as you can. Eventually either the evil Mannequin will flee, or it’ll be into it and you might just live. YES THIS IS ALWAYS MY GO TO FOR SURVIVAL!....Goodnight