SPOOPYWEEN DAY 19 THE BOOGEYMAN!!!!

Day 19

The Boogeyman

Well now this is a delight for these old eyes.

I remember listening to this audio story from Stephen King when I was younger and the family was taking a trip. We used to travel back and forth between California and Washington a lot so we got used to finding audiobooks we could listen to on the long drives since everyone really liked those. We would each pick one out and listen to it on the way up, and back down. I was surprised when I heard they were turning this short story into a movie. I was also curious how they’d go about it too, because it was such an interesting and quick scare story, but I just really wanted the ending of the story. That part stuck with me and I felt was such a cool creepy ending.

So here we are, with a new telling of this story, in feature length, with a great many changes made to the story. For the better? For the worse? We shall see. Honestly the changes make sense given the length of the story in its original concept and you can’t really stretch a short story into a full feature. Just look at the Hobbit. That fucker got stretched over 3 films and no one cares to remember it.

I also just wanted to bring that film back to peoples attention. I do not apologize.

So lets get into it already and see what wonders await us with yet another Stephen King story offering. Shall we? Lets.

The Film

BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER!! Do you love me? Will you love me forever do you need me, sorry. It’s impossible to separate the immortal words of Meatloaf when screaming out before we go any further.

BUT!

BEFORE WE DO

This film has the most important messege for all of you. FOR ALL OF US!!

This film has depictions of smoking.

This. This is the world we live in, where we have to give goddamn warnings before a fucking…..nevermind.

Lets kill a baby!

That’s not a suggestion, it’s just what happens and I am sort of proud the movie thought to do so. I always say films today don’t have the balls to kill kids in them anymore. But here we are. A shapeshifting twig cracking unseen nightmare that changes its voice to sound like family members is tormenting a baby in its crib and when it screams, we see blood splatter all over some baby photos and baby goes silent.

That is a strong opening film, you better be able to follow it up. I got a lot riding on this, I need some entertainment and its starting off promising.

So what’s this movie gonna be about? Well we’re quickly introduced. And this is where the cards either stack up and make a beautiful house, or they get blown over my a liquid shit fueled fart blasting out our ass. It’s called your 40’s and trust me, it’s coming for you.

Well the movie is centered around the remains of a struggling family. A teenage daughter, a little sister and a psychologist father. All dealing with the loss of their mother/wife. The father is a cool dad who takes patients in his home, because that’s always a good idea bringing unstable people into your family environment. Sawyer, the little sis of the family is fun. She sleeps with a moon globe light, is pretty chill with the world and is dealing with a loose tooth. She’s highly likeable and I am sure nothing but pure terror awaits her. The teenage daughter Sadie is a straight up bag of bitch.

I say this, not to be mean of course. The actress is just fine. But her character, is a whole dripping bag of bitch. She’s a walking trope of misunderstood teen drama mixed in with unresolved mom issues who treats people like dirt, but also expects them to give her praise for being brave, while treating them like shit.

Or you can just stick to her being a nasty trash panda, as she keeps in her locker the last bagged lunch her mom made her despite the fact its rotting and now the foundation of a new growing population. You would think, okay that tells us she misses her mom, and she is still dealing with the loss. But no. She also decided to wear to school her moms sundress. So she can feel connected to her, because that’s what girls in these movies do to show there struggle to deal with loss and feeling close still, and not letting go and god why.

She zones out people in school trying to sincerely tell her they’re sorry for her loss, she doesn’t give a shit. Then her one bestie comes by to check on her, as she’s taking a big bag whiff of dead mom lunch and acts fairly normal with her. Until the other friends arrive. Who are a confusing bag of bitch too.

See, we have girls who are friends of her bestie, and there for trying to be respectful and talkative toward Sadie, and we also have two girls who are supposed to be friends with both bestie and Sadie. But act like bitches toward Sadie.

This is also by no coincidence played by a blonde. Whom seem to always get shafted as being the bitchy high school girl. It’s not fair to blondes, but this is life. For them.

So Sadie is complimented on her sundress. It’s an insincere compliment and just meant to be nice. Which is fine. We all do it. But Sadie weirds them all out by telling them its her moms dress and thank you for the compliment.

They all act a bit awkwardly to it, but hey its her grieving so, deal with it. Leave it up to the dirty blonde to be the one to say ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea? Wearing her clothes. I mean wouldn’t it make it harder to move on?”

So Sadie gets triggered and pissy, calling the blonde a bitch. Which, yeah sometimes you should keep your thoughts in your pocket as Greg famously said in the Room. But it wasn’t that bad a comment, but Sadie felt the need to call her a bitch.

So Blonde gets upset and ask her what she called her. The two shove each other and, well Sadie was still holding her mold society bag, so as you can imagine. Yes. The shove breaks the bag and covers Sadie AND more importantly her dead moms sundress in weeks old spoiled spore specimens that used to be milk and a snack pack.

She runs off crying, as the blonde chuckles about the mess, no one seems to care or notice the putrid unholy smell that is now polluting the hallways, and bestie blames the blonde with the traditional “Whats wrong with you”, which, really isn’t that deserved. To be fair Sadie McWeirdo pushed the angry button over a comment and. Well moving on.

I mean this was all a setup from the beginning. You knew something would happen. It’s just a bit lazy is all. And the setup they seem to be giving us, I mean. I will freely admit I could absolutely be totally wrong here, and will admit it if later I am proven to be. But the loose setup we are being given here is roughly.

God, here we go.

I am willing to bet her and bestie have been besties since middle school, and here they are, in high school, doing the whole change of, ‘we used to hang out, but then you got new friends and we don’t’ thing. Which is fine. It happens and that’s not my problem.

The problem I have is the group dynamic of these other girls. You can see Sadie’s tone change once the other girls arrive. But its not a tonal shift of ‘oh fuck here come those gaggle of bitches’, it’s more an ‘oh hey, hello other friends not as good a friend as my bestie but still a friend’. She’s not played off as indifferent toward them, she seems pretty cool with them for the most part. But the way the film presents them, especially after the spill. Is like they are ‘the new batch’ and therefor people she doesn’t care for to begin with, because these are the friends that replaced her with her bestie finding a new group to hang with.

Her getting mad and the blonde supposed to be coming off as a bitch is also a bit awkward. You can tell from the groups actions they are sort of unsure how to approach Sadie given she’s a bit tinder still since the loss of her mom, but you also get from the blonde especially. That they’re all sort of still walking on egg shells around her. The blond wasn’t being a bitch. She was just voicing a genuine concern and I get it. But no one else was like “Girl you need to chill the fuck out”, they just weren’t sure themselves if she should’ve worded it as such but they weren’t like shocked by it. So Sadie suddenly turning and immediately taking it out on Blondie calling her a bitch. I get it she’s grieving, but damn dude, that doesn’t grant you a license to slap a bitch at will.

It's one of those you can see what they were setting up and trying to go with, but it just didn’t feel that deserved let alone well sorted. They don’t have that division of good bitch bad bitch. So much as they just present them as ‘These are friend…maybe?’

We aren’t even 20 minutes in I realize and I’m going off about friends, okay. Lets move on. The main takeaway is that Sadie is not a happy high schooler and she misses her mama enough to wear her clothes and keep her rotting food and will bath in its disgusting foul maggot filled oder of the dead putridness because her mom made it and she wants to smell like she’s still there with her. Moving on.

We have a horror film here, it was promised to us with the death of a baby in its crib. So we need to jump back on that hype train or the audience, and ourselves will lose our goddamn minds, and worse. Our interest. So what’s dad up to?
Dad is about to get a visit from the man who will kick off the fun times of child killing night stalkers.

Dad was done for the day with crazy patients in his home, until he found one who seemed incredibly off balance and especially crazy, so he invited him right on in to have some tea and talk about the world around them.

What we learn from this man is. He’s had a rough time lately. He may have killed his children, or a monster may have done it. His name is William Harper. The man tells him that a creature, that lives in darkness, in closets. Came into his home, and killed his baby. He shows dad a drawing he made of the monster. In graphic full detail. Including a very thick, veiny muscular dick. Which dad was taken back by as he stares at this drawing, both scared, confused, and aroused at the incredible attention to detail the man put into the creatures genitals versus the rest of the drawing. He’s so disturbed in fact he ask to be excused and immediately calls the police to tell them a man with a talent for drawing detailed cocks is in his home, horny, and he might be dangerous, or just monster dick horny.

Which means the man has time to flee the client room and go roaming the house freely. Because this is what happens when you run a practice out of your home versus an actual office space.

Of course this leads to fun times in the household, because Sadie came home from school, somehow without a ride, and washed her moms ruined sundress. Which even after being cleaned, now looks like it has dried semen stains on it, and she feels the need to sniff at this because…..anyway. Crazy man is in the house and so is Sadie.

Sadie is aware something isn’t right, as she senses a man in the house, which is odd because her dad is the furthest from a confident man and this is not the smell he puts out. As she roams the house she discovers red paint on the floor and seems horrified.

Is it because she assumes its blood? No.

Is it because she assumes someone died? No.

It’s because the paint was spilled over in her moms art studio room. Which is now her holy living shrine and the thought that someone, something, anything. Has disturbed her alter of preservation. Is haunting to her. So she roams the room, feet covered in paint, you’d think the man might pop out and spoop her. But no. She goes into the closet, finds nothing and no one there. Until her dad comically rushes in like Homer when he ran into Barts bedroom to show off his new hockey mask and chainsaw. The dad rushes in, grabs his daughter, THEN ask if she’s okay. Turns on the light to look around and oh no. They found the crazy penis artist. He’s hung himself on the back of the door.

A victory for the house being rid of a threat, a tragic loss for the dad and Sadie having to witness a man hung behind a door with his pants around his ankles. I can assume at least on the last part.

As night falls upon the house, we get our first sign that something has arrived, having followed the crazy monster dick artist man. Sadie while in her bedroom looks up at the ceiling and notices what looks like major water damage to the ceiling in her room. But she feels no need to concern her dad with this and instead gambles not telling anyone about something that could produce a major leak and cost them well over twenty thousand dollars in roof repairs. But thankfully we the audience know. It is apparently the skid mark of the boogeyman.

Which I must stop my criticism of the film so far, and give credit to them. Though it does worry me at this point.

The introduction of the monster to the family, is well done enough to a point that I would say this is the type of shit Skinamarink could’ve benefited from.

Naturally the monster shows itself to the youngest sibling, Sawyer. Who of course is sleeping with her moon globe light. This is not a creeping in the shadows subtle creature. No. This thing literally slams open the closet door, and skitters across the floor under her bed. Having her light she feels safe enough to investigate, so she looks under the bed, sees a dark corner and send her ball of light to investigate. At first, you see nothing. But then, by the grace of who knows what powers. We get a somewhat restrained look at the monsters face.

The thing resembles Brundle Fly from The Fly 2 almost. Its slimy, creepy, and I dig it. It scares Sawyer enough she falls out of bed and hits her head on the floor. Sending her to seek out her older sis for help.

This introduces two things. One I like, and one I sigh at. Because it’s going to be a setup for later. I have no doubt on it, and would bet a billion dollars of which I do not have. Because I am this sure of it.

Sadie is using youtube in her room, looking up videos on how to contact the recently deceased using a candle. Which she is attempting. Because why not. I guess its better than a quija board. Sawyer comes into the room interrupting her and this is the moment I really like. Sawyer came to her big sister for protection. She tells her there is something in her room. Which there is. And it scared the hell out of her. Sadie writes it off as a dream and tells her this. Ready to just wave it all off period. But instead, she sees her sister. Like actually ‘sees’ her and can tell she’s shaken by this. Not to mention bleeding from her loose tooth.

It's a subtle scene but I really like it because goddamn man, this little girl can act. Again you see the angle they’re playing. Ignorant older sister, to focused on dealing with her own problems and dealing with loss, to focus on her sister and just assuming, little girl problems, little girl world, not my deal. But when she sees Sawyer is genuinely startled. She does show concern. However its taken by Sadie as being more focused on ‘Perhaps this is how she is dealing with our mom being gone’. So she doesn’t listen to her sis or understand what’s going on with her. Its an old trope but the way Sawyer plays up her end, is really well done. This girl can act. Sadie to her credit, also can. Just Sadie the character is, not so investing as Sawyer, and that’s just from the girls one big scene so far. Which, we are just getting started on.

Sadie tries to help her sister, not so much with the nightmares, as she is trying to help with her bleeding tooth. So its time for the age old tooth removal gag of. Lets tie a string around your loose tooth, and the other end to the closet door and jerk that sucker out!

This did not work for me as a kid, and yes we tried this. It instead hurt like holy hell. Sawyer is a tough lil bug, and her sis is all for yanking teeth. But just as they’re ready to go through with it. Sawyer needs a few moments to hype herself up to it. Sadie is not a total cold bitch. She isn’t going to fake her sis out and yank her tooth out. So she waits and tells her okay we can totally do this when you are ready.

As Sadie is making clear the rules of slam the door, jerk the tooth medical procedure and the risk involved in it as well as what Sawyer’s Medicaid will cover for it. The Boogeyman says on with the show, and yanks the closet door suddenly closed. Snapping Sawyers tooth right out of her mouth and to the floor. The girls are confused, Sawyer is struck with the pain of, well. Having your tooth yanked the fuck out of your mouth. And her older sis tries telling her how she didn’t do that to her and she blames science on it.

This is just the beginning of problems for Sawyer.

First she encounters an unholy being that feast on children and peoples fears, that can learn to mimic the voices of your loved ones, then she gets her tooth yanked out, and to top it all off. Now her sister is dragging her to therapy with her so they can end her fear of the dark in the most extreme way possible. A kind older woman who has been seeing Sadie since the loss of their mother, politely explains to Sawyer how there’s nothing to fear. That fear is the mind killer, and how she must let the fear pass through her, until only she remains.

She demonstrates this by turning off all the lights and turning on a red light in the room that makes everything look horrifically evil, that continues to flash on and off.

You know this is going to go well.

Of course it does.

We get some nice little distorted just out of focus shots of the monster crawling around on the ceiling, tormenting the little girl. The session goes absolutely tits up and all they are stuck with is a traumatic little sister, and a hell of a bill that makes their dad question raising his own rates on patients.

This movie, I gotta give proper credit. It is swinging into full gear and I love it. It’s doing precisely what a monster movie should do. It’s not exactly teasing us with the monster, but it is keeping them enough in the dark to keep it scary.

Everything from here on out, is pure bliss. Because for some reason. A very rare. Reason. The filmmakers decided. Make the active choice. To treat this thing like an actual creature. Instead of a scare tactic. I actually really like what they did with it, because as Sawyer lays in bed with her protective moon globe light.We hear a door open and her sister ask if she’s alright. She comically tells her she’s just trying not to die. Sadie tells her its all in her head, its okay. And Sawyer decides to address her sister by coming out from under her covers to discuss this matter. Only to discover, no one is there. Yep, the monster was replicating her sisters voice. Which for the most part it did rather well, but when it does so again, it begins to crack up and waver. What happens next is a series of Sawyer trying to see this thing and prove to herself it’s okay, but also ready to run screaming bloody murder if it isn’t. She walks out to the hallway, sends her light ball out do a dark corner. Only to hear the light ball get crushed, and moments later. We see a dark silhouette behind her appear, and drop her light ball at her feet. The girl screams, startling Sadie out of snooping around her dads office to find out more about the crazy monster dick artist man. The two sisters run into one another in the kitchen and Sawyer begins kicking the shit out of her older sisters shin bone. This is the most believable sibling thing I’ve seen in a film. I know this from experience as my sister and I often deployed this tactic. At least until my sister learned about testicals and the value of kicking them when your brother is being a dick.

It's a fun moment that ends the scares, but it carries two important notes I really like that they followed through with.

As Sawyer was dealing with the horror in the hallway, her sister found the crazy dick artist notebook under her dads sofa. She saw a page torn out and began etching over it to make out what the man drew. She soon finds herself looking at, unfortunately not a highly detailed monster penis. But instead a daddy long legs looking monster.

When her little sister assaults her shins and is about to further do so. Sawyer spots this drawing and stops dead in her tracks. Sadie notices immediately and ask her little sister if that, was the thing she saw. Sawyer nods and tells her yes it was. For the first time, these two are on the same page, and her older sister isn’t sure how to deal with this. But the best part comes after her little sister leaves, and Sadie stands up. As she does. She looks out in the dark dining area and we see two very distinct glowing eyes watching us. We also just barely make out a faint skin tone too, outlining a head for those eyes. As Sadie shines some light over that way. The shape is gone.

I like the scare, because the presentation of the monster is being done beautifully. Its being taken seriously as a creature. A hungry creature.

When its first shown, its testing the waters, keeping itself hidden, but curiously poking about. Then it starts coming out further from hiding in the therapist office. Until it out right comes up to Sawyer in the hallway, and even dares come out further into the kitchen to watch the two siblings. It’s the same way, for instance. A raccoon, or coyote gets the hungrier it gets. A creature that normally sticks to hiding and not being seein, nabbing its meals off of opportunities, and scavenging. Will present itself when absolutely necessary when hunger is just too much to bare. That’s how its starting to act around them, and I like it a lot. Most other films would keep teasing it until the final 20 minutes or so, where it’ll just over populate the screen and CGI the fuck out of our collective eyes. This film is handling it like a living thing that is cautious but hungry and we aren’t entirely sure which side of it will lead the other. We just know it’s getting bolder.

Things like that can do a lot for a film and add a nice touch to it. I just wish other movies did more of that. But at the same time, I am glad this film is at the least nailing this part down. Because otherwise this was really headed off to territory I dreaded would make it a waste of time.

Which don’t get me wrong this film absolutely can still drastically veer off that way. I just really hope it salvages itself.

It’s about at this point in the film we get into Sadie the investigator. She’s looking up the dick artist and his family. Reading what happened to him and his wholesome family, and even more so, where he lived. Because that’s always good to have available to the public. So she needs to investigate this crazy mans life to understand this monster that has come to their home, from his.

Which means she needs her best friend to drive her to his house. Which is absolutely the best idea ever.

This scene does two things. It furthers the backstory of this dick artist, and further shows us the writers did their best to make characters out of non character, I.E. the friends and bitch blonde. I call her bitch blonde because she’s not a bitch herself. She’s just played as the bitch.

We only see these friends for a moment and it serves as a reminder that. This? This specific scene? Really would’ve served better to establish the friends dynamic in the group in the beginning. Versus what the beginning gave us. Because right as Sadie approaches the group. Bitch blonde announces “Uh oh, drama alert”, and the other girls giggle about it. While Bestie sighs and tries to get them all to cool it before her friend arrives close enough to hear.

THAT is the scene you use to introduce the girls if you want to establish they aren’t her friends so much as friends by association. The opening scene did the opposite of this, and just made it out like Sadie is a bag of bitch.

Which she still is. As shown when she tells her Bestie how she’s like to talk to her, alone. Besty apologizes to her for what happened with the rotting food spill caused by the blonde. Not by herself, and I shit you not. Sadie’s next words are “Well if you really want to make it up to me, you can give me a ride”

Bitch, are you for real?!

Your best friend did nothing to your dumbass, all she did was try to check on you, it was her blonde friend you didn’t care for that pissed you off and shoved you. Your friend didn’t do shit to you. So you decide manipulating her into helping you is the best bet?

You a bitch.

So Sadie the Bitch has her friend drive her to dick artist home. Which looks like a meth mansion. Baby killer is spray painted across the house. The house looks like its been abandoned literally for centuries. Seriously there is mold, decay, and the house looks like no one has set foot in it since Michael Myers took a shit in the hallway. The most believable thing about this place, is when Sadie is inside, her best friend calls her on her cellphone and ask if she’s buying drugs. Because the place looks like a meth mansion. Sadie, in her infinite teenage wisdom. Decides to write a messege on the fridge of the meth mansion, and leaves her home number and name. For those people to call her. The meth people.

For future reference, though I will trust you all will already know this. Never leave your name and number in a meth house. Ever. Even Mormons won’t do it. And those people leave things everywhere.

What we get from this scene, is a bit of background. Both into dick artist family, and the monster. We notice the walls of this house aside being rotted, are also covered in a lot of skidmarks like Sadies room displayed on the ceiling. The most of which are coming from a single closet space in the house. Which is rigged with a flash polaroid camera. There are also strings of lights, and candles all over the house. Inside the house, we also have surprisingly not a meth addict. But the wife of dick artist. Who is carrying a shotgun. She lays out some backstory. Letting us know this monster likes to play with its meals. Scare them to death and then, actually kill them. To death. That the monster latches onto and feeds off grieving people, broken people with little hope. So it sucks the hope out of them, scares them and then eats them. Sort of like the Pennywise but without Tim Curry.

This is all well and good, until the monster shows up behind Sadie and crazy not a meth head dick artist wife shoots at the monster. Chasing it around the house. This is her life now. This lady. Lives in a shit house, with candles, and light traps. Hunting the creature, shooting her house up with a shotgun. And not one neighbor ever calls and complains.

Things were just getting interesting. But the film decided it needs to take that away from us. Like a monster. It suddenly stops the story progress and decides to remind us. Sadie is a bag of bitch, and we need to remember she is missing her mom.

So when she gets home, and tries napping off having a shotgun go off beside her head, and telling her best friend ‘its cool lets go’, she wakes and finds her father committing the greatest sin ever. He’s boxing up the moms art studio and placing everything in the basement. So of course naturally Sadie screams how dare he. Because she doesn’t want to forget her mom. She doesn’t want to move on, or ‘get rid of her’, she wants to keep those memories, so how dare he empty that room that was her shrine. So dad caves in because he’s a shell of a human being that even the monster won’t feed on, because someone already beat him to it. He lets Sadie take the last box of his dead wifes things and Sadie like a trash panda goes through the boxes of stuff. Pulling out a digital camera with a recording her father made of her as a baby.

Which she takes and plays in the school bathroom, because she’s quirky and in morning and that weird girl that always smells like a crystal healing shop and listens to My Chemical Romance.

WHICH. Leads us to another setup for something oh so wonderful. Among the treasures she found of her moms, she discovered, a half smoked joint. Which she totally has to hang onto and use. Because it was her moms.

IT WAS HER MOMS JOINT!!! SHE MUST TOUCH WHAT HER LIPS HAVE TOUCHED! SHE MUST SMOKE IT AND THINK OF HER MOM!!!!!

Fuck me backwards through a cornfield…

So while watching her special video in the girls bathroom. Her besty pops in and tries making peace with her again. Trying to get her to open up and talk to her about whats going on, and how they were super best friends, and cool and stuff. She’s actually trying to be cool with her friend and help her. But Sadie pulls the bitch card and snaps back asking her when the last time was they hung out, without her NEW friends. Her REPLACEMENT friends. It’s a shit thing to do when someone is trying to cheer you up, but I still. I mean I get it. It’s just fucked when someone is making the effort to reach out because they care about you. Take the fucking hand. Don’t dig at them, that’s how you end up friendless and alone.

Well she decides to be cool, and takes her besties advice that, she needs a party night. A night with the girls. This will help her. This will totally make her feel better. So Sadie is all for it. GIRLS NIGHT!!

GIRLS NIGHT! WOOOOOO!! MAKEOVERS, BOY TALK, PIZZA AND WAXING YOUR COOCHIES!

I have no idea what girls do on girls night. My sis and her friends usually just watched movies, played games and laughed a lot.

I know what girls do on girls night, I grew up surrounded by tons of woman. I still had to say it.

I also learned a tampon song thanks to girls night and hearing these things.

ANY WAY…

So its girls night for Sadie, which goes as well as you can possibly imagine. Yes its awkward as all holy hell. Yes she makes it incredibly awkward and weird. And still the friends get the blunt end of the blame for things. Just this time, the characters actually act. AGAIN how they were meant to be portrayed in the beginning. Which is bitchy.

All the girls who Sadie says aren’t her friends show up at her house with Besty. They have pizza, soda, and everyone is bored out of their goddamn minds. Which is genuinely funny and perfectly makes sense. When you are trying to cheer up a sack of sad bitch that doesn’t want to be cheered up. Your gonna end up picking your ass bored most the night.

Well Sadie wants to be cool and not have everyone bored. So she whips out. Get ready for it. MOM JOINT!!

YES, of course she does! She pulls out her moms half smoked old as dirt joint and her friends get super excited when she tells them “I have like, actual drugs”, which sounds less like something a high schooler would say, and more something a junior high kid would say thinking it sounds cool while talking to people on fortnite.

Of course Sadie can’t just let these girls smoke a joint and be cool. She has to make it weird and tell them all “It was my moooooooooms joint”.

That’s like having a girl you really like, finally invite you to their bedroom, and tell you to wear the cologne they bought for you, to make the night special. And then telling you the cologne is the same scent their dad wears and how good it smells on you. Then she gets puzzles over why you can’t get erect now after hearing this, and it all gets really awkward. So you excuse yourself to the bathroom to prime yourself and keep repeating lets just get this over with and never look back.

A very specific example, for sure. But its basically spot on. I mean if you got a joint, its legal, and you aren’t a teen. Go for it, light that fucker up. But don’t tell people you found it in your dead mom or grandmas underwear drawer. Next you’ll tell them the dildo they giggle finding in your drawer also belonged to your mom. THEN things get weird.

Well they all smoke the joint and immediately it goes horribly wrong. Sadie begins coughing like crazy, until she pukes in the bathroom and spits up of all things. Her sisters tooth. That’s weird to put in a joint. Right?

Well things only get worse from there. Bitch Blonde is using Sadies moms camera to act like she’s recording the whole fiasco, and of course Sadie freaks the fuck out. They call her a spazz and randomly. I do mean randomly. Ask her “So is this the room where that guy killed himself in your house? No? Show us where it is.”

These bitches are not that high, let alone that fast off one hit.

Unless mom liked to get wet.

By that I mean the joint being laced with angel dust. PCP.

Not….nevermind.

So Sadie decides why not show off the dead dick artist hanging room. I mean sure I just had a coughing fit that made me throw up after on ehit, and sure I am panicking because of this bitch using my moms camera and possibly recording over my last tape of her. But sure why not. Lets show the dead guy room.

She shows it off and sure enough. The girls push her inside and close the door, as a goof.

Immediately the monster sets out after Sadie, growling and snarling at her. She’s pounding on the door screaming bloody murder, and eventually she falls out of the room. The girls all staring asking if she’s okay, and her pissed because they wouldn’t let her out. Only they tell her they tried letting her out but SHE wouldn’t let go. So in this mass confusion, Bitch Blonde has to be the bitch and tell her to calm her tits and stop being so dramatic. Sadie marches over and promptly slaps the blonde across the face. Immediately prompting her to call Sadie a psychotic bitch, and proclaiming that the only person there who actually gives a shit about her crazy ass, is of course her Besty. The girls leave the house, calling her a crazy bitch, and the best part of this entire scene. The only part that made the scene worth while. Was Sawyer.

Sawyer was told by their dad that night, to leave her big sister alone as she was going to be having a big girls night, and that she could play video games and do whatever. Sawyer was cool with this. So when the girls come down the stairs cussing and calling her sister a bitch. Sawyer could not give a shit less. She’s chilling on the sofa. Gaming and eating Cheetos, living the dream.

I love it. She made that scene worth it.

But it is a short lived scene, because we are near the end of the film. So poor Sawyer has to suffer. It’s one of the coolest moments with the monster thus far, as we see it lingering in the shadows and perch itself above the tv while Sawyer plays video games. When she eventually spots it. It’s too late. The monster leaps at her, toppling her and the couch, and we see Sawyers legs kicking as she screams and is dragged across the ceiling by this monster. Eventually, and rather roughly. Being thrown into the television set.

Like I said. This film might blow goats when it comes to dialog and character moments. But damn to they nail the monster and scares. It’s pretty damn brutal and I have to give big credit to them because no one really displays those kind of balls anymore when kids and horror are involved. Even Stranger Things pulls their punches. This however, does not. Kudos to them.

So the family take Sawyer to the hospital, and I wish them luck on explaining how the little girl got tossed like a rag doll around the house and through a television set, without blaming the grieving father, or psychotic older sibling who went slap happy on her friends. But dad is kind of taking care of that, as he ask Sadie if she was high when she ‘saw monsters’, because he smelt marijuana.

Which, is a valid point, and teenage stupidity. I mean your father lets you have a girls night, and you decide lighting up a joint is a good idea without trying to light some incense or open a window? Also putting down sheets into an empty paper roll and blowing into it can help mask the smell. So I am told. Anyway.

Sadie is back to bitch mode and storms off, because aaaah, her dad won’t listen to her, like ever. And he blames drugs now. Aaaaah. Damn mom joint!

As Sadie takes off, the not a meth head, wife of dick artist calls her. Because Sadie left her number at meth mansion. She tells Sadie she found a way to get rid of the creature. So naturally Sadie is all for this and decides to abandon her sister and father, to go see this lady at meth mansion.

Her plan?

Well it’s more of a theory than a plan. So they must test it as we all had to in school by learning about the scientific method.

Not a meth head, wife of dick artist lady, has deduced that, this creature needs to feed on helpless hopeless people. So therefor she needs a helpless hopeless bitch for bait. Bitch bait if you will. Enter Sadie.

Yes. The crazy not a meth head, wife of dick artist lady is going to handcuff Sadie to a furnace pipe and use her to lure the monster out of hiding. So she can shotgun blast its head off.

Which she does, rather well.

Until she doesn’t.

See she still succumbs to the horror trope of, I shot it, its not moving. This surely means it is dead. Of course it is not. It jumps her, and she is devoured. As Sadie battles for her life and manages to escape thanks to wild shot gunning skills. Or rolling a critical 20.

Dad gets a call from Sadie on her cellphone warning him not to go home because the monster is there, but Dad is too late, and the monster pulls him into the house.  Apparently the monster is smart enough to realize the film has entered its final 20 minutes.

So Sadie returns home, finding the place owned by darkness. And a trail of power cables leading to a closet. Much like meth mansion. When she finds where the cables lead she enters the closet and is immediately sprayed in the face by Sawyer with god knows what. All I know is it blinded her sister, and I am pleased. Sawyer continues to be a champion. Sitting in the closet, with a light toy. This girl is not going through anymore television sets.

So the girls father is missing, possibly dead. Possibly being mounted by the monster because it mistook him for a mate. Who knows. Who can say. But its time for the girls to nut up and seek out this  creature to save their father, and end is reign of horror on their family. Or die trying.

Sadie and the movie made me groan audibly. Not in a perverted sense. I’m better then that. But with her dialog. As Sawyer tells Sadie the monster took their father into the basement. Sadie tells Sawyer to stay in the room with her lights, that she’s safe there, and she says. As close to the words as the writers wanted to get. “It bleeds. If it bleeds, we can hurt it”

Fuck my life with a jackhammer dildo, come on. Really?

So off Sadie the wonder bitch goes with a hocket stick to take on a baby killing flesh devouring monster. Sawyer of course follows her sister. Wearing her lights for protection. At least she’s smart. She also is armed with her spray can. Which would be even more effective with a lighter. Which seems a thing that will happen.

Why do I say that?

Well I am glad no one asked. But here we go.

When Sadie found her moms joint. She also found her moms decorative zippo lighter. When Sawyer followed her sister downstairs to the basement? She ‘accidentally’ knocked over their moms can of paint thinner. Which. Is highly flammable. And is now pouring all over the floor of the basement. Seems like something is being setup doesn’t it?

Well the girls enter the monsters lair and its genuinely pretty neat. The basement is full of black mold vines just like the meth mansion, and on the wall of vines Sadie and Sawyer find their father, suspended there. And in the darkness, two reflecting glowing eyes. Which soon grow bright and we are greeted to a full on look at the monster.

Now this. Is a divisive moment in the film which I really am at a crossroads with.

The monster separates the girls and their father. Knocking Sawyer out and pouncing Sadie. It snaps her hockey stick and. The oddest thing happens. Which reminded me a bit of SMILE and its demon once it revealed its true form. This creature while pinning Sadie down. Suddenly from its mouth extends two small child like arms. Which hold onto her head. Inside its dark mouth we make out a small head and mouth. Which whisper out to her, using her mothers voice to relax and let go. Soon little tendrils unfurl and cling to Sadie, entering her eyelids and mouth, nose. Its beginning to feed on her very soul. Until dad picks up a broken hockey stick and attacks it.

The monster throws dad back. Breaking his ankle, and the girls corral around their father, as he begins flicking the moms zippo lighter. The only source of light now available to them. The girls huddle around their dad, flicking the light off and on trying to keep a steady light.

The monster begins slowly advancing on them. Knowing it has them.

That is until the power of dead mom intervenes and the light from the lighter turns into a fucking butane torch of light. It scares the monster off and Sadie grabs the can of flammable spray her sister was using. Combining these two elements to create a torch to fight the monster. That is until the can runs out. But leave it to brave no shits given honey badger born Sawyer. She comes in with the last of the can of paint thinner and begins soaking the monster in it. This isn’t her first rodeo. This girl has seen some shit. You toss her into a TV? She’ll burn your fucking body to ash and piss on the pile.

So Sadie sets the beast on fire. It and the mold around the house burn into dust. It dies a horrible death. The family go to therapy together, seeing the same therapist who saw the girls earlier. They are a bonded close family and all is well. The therapist ask Sadie to come back into the room real quick. Only to find the room empty, and the closet door open. Sadie stares at it, then shuts the door, and the movie ends with Hunk of Burning Love. Because why the fuck not.

The End.

The part of this that conflicted me. Is rather obviously the ending.

This is by no means or stretch of the imagination anything at all like the short story so we don’t need to compare that with this finale. Though the final scene does pay a faint. FAINT homage to it.

Honestly if this film stuck to its guns and had the balls? Like the same balls they showed with killing a child the way they did? It would have ended with the family huddled together, crying in fear, praying the lighter would light and save them. Only to have the monster crawl up to the screen, fade to black, and either we see the house burnt down and a news story about the family being dead in the fire and Sadies best friend sad and now hunted by the monster? Or they kill Sadie and Dad saves Sawyer and himself.

It's still a downer ending. But it just. Hate me if you like but it felt like that ending would’ve matched the tone they were sort of setting up and going with early on. It would be a sad ending yes. But it would’ve made sense with the story and I think, much like The Mist. It would’ve been an acceptable ending.

Instead of love saves the day and ghost mom ignites her joint lighter to save her babies. Who save their inept father.

As for the ending with the therapist, I liked it mostly because that was nearly the same ending as the short story.

In the story a man is recanting a story to a therapist about his family being killed by this boogeyman in the closet. Talking about how it slips away and hides there, mimics voices and uses it to gain your trust and such. Then as the mans session ends and he leaves. He returns to the office to get his coat he forgot. Only to find the closet door open, and the therapist transforming into the boogeyman. Which is a good creepy end to the story. But I don’t know if they could’ve pulled it off here. It might’ve worked but honestly I don’t know. The ending is a bit on the nose. You knew they’d make it out alive. Sadie would finally let go of her mom and move on. Once the mom saved them and you know. The house burned down giving her no choice but to let go and move on from memories.

It just would have been a nice change, and fit better I feel, had they went with a bit more of the downer ending. But also, had they done something more with the father. That would have helped a lot.

I gave his character a lot of shit because. Well he deserves it because of the writers. He barely existed past being a passive vacant shell of a thing. This story was solely focused on Sadie, who wasn’t that likeable or relatable. The only time it got interesting was with the monster, or with Sawyer. Who honestly I really felt acted beyond Sadie. And she barely got much to work with in this.

Sadie was just a bit of a bag of bitch and the way she acted with her friend, and friends. With people in general. The attitude she had. It was less a person in morning, and more a person that feels you need to shut up and let run over you. Which even then she’ll still  find reason not to like you for it.

It’s just bad characters.

I won’t blame the writing. Not entirely.

Because this also feels like something went on with the editing of this film. Which sometimes explains a lot. For instance the way the attitude of her friends changed throughout the film? That could be in part due to the sequence of shots as they were filmed. Perhaps the dynamic changed between the group and became more focused later on and in the beginning they played them off as being friends, versus new friends adopting their new friends crazy friend no one cares about. It was really unclear a lot of the time and just made Sadie come off as a bitch taking her frustration and loss out on these friends, versus how she later described them to her best friend as, ‘her’ new group of friends.

The movie just didn’t really set that up all that well and it didn’t play off as such. So again. Maybe it was from editing, shooting. Who knows.

But the characters themselves were shuffled loosely throughout the story which didn’t help matters either.

Again the father.

The man like I said, is barely a figure in the story. He’s just kind of there when he needs to be. Unfortunately Sawyer also gets a whiff of that same treatment, until the monster is after her. All of these things could have easily been handled better with a bit more character work and dialog between them. We never really got to see the father grieving. We never really got his side aside from a VERY short chat with Sadie in the hospital, which was cut short because, monster shit needed to happen.

Things like that. Character development, story development. They can collide and not mesh well with plot and monster. You need to strike a balance between these things for them to flow evenly together.

Otherwise you end up with too little of one, and a little more the other.

For instance look at let’s say. The Recent Godzilla movies.

The first one had a lot of human story to it, a lot of backstory. And bits of monsters till the very end. They teased a lot of giant fights, but cut away and focused on human drama. Makes sense. But this was a very long film, It had all the time to do what it wanted. And it still managed to serve as a monster tease. Albeit a fairly entertaining one. But not a great one. So the sequel comes around. Same thing. Only different sides. We get more monsters, a bit less human story. But this time the human part of it is just wonky. Film was okay-ish.

Until we got Godzilla vs Kong. The human story in that was someones fever dream while taking peyote and they decided to keep it in the movie.

Again, a long movie. Mixed focus, and they still ended up feeling like you were pushing to ends of rope together, trying to get them to stick together.

Had the movie balanced out more character work, with story. Given us a bit more to chew on, while maintaining the scares and the monster prowling like a starving animal. It would’ve reached that bright beautiful light of being an absolute classic and great horror film. It was still serviceable. It still was okay. But it should have gone further in the end. It could have, and I feel deserved to have been better.

They still managed an entertaining, fun monster movie. With decent effects, and a creature that still didn’t have much of a background which is perfect. Keep people in the dark and just keep it scary. Which it was. I really loved their use of having the monster barely visible in the darkness, and always somewhere, hidden in the dark. Just skulking around. It was great show of restraint that few movies use anymore. Each scare was earned and worth it.

Honestly? This film reminds me a lot of another horror film, that unfortunately didn’t do well either. But still remains a film I love and especially love its oddness.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Guillermo del Toro’s 2010 film. About little creatures that feed on teeth and take humans. It was a disturbing little fairy tale nightmare and it managed a very fine line of story, plot and creature. It gave just enough of all these things that you cared about the characters, you understood the motivation and plot. You got enough of the monster to keep you invested and on edge. And the end while not the happiest. Still fit the tone and made sense with the story. They went for it.

It's a bit sad the movie doesn’t get a lot of the love it rightly deserves. But that I guess also keeps it special for those who discover it. Which I sort of feel may be the case with this film.

Maybe in the end they tried aiming for something like that. A personal horror film with guts. But they also had to make it a mainstream film so. It had to deal with that beast.

In the end. It wasn’t the worst thing ever. Sadie is still a bag of bitch and I hope her friends move on to better friendships. I also hope Sawyer ends up being a badass as she grows up and a gamer champ. Check it out if you like, it won’t be a total let down. You can dig the monster and the scares. But don’t expect a classic to add on the shelf.

That being said. Tomorrow brings us to the 20th film and we are getting down to the last few on the list which. Still am looking forward to, and hopefully I can manage to finish given everything life is throwing at me at the moment. I really do enjoy doing these and I hope you all enjoy reading them. I really do. So for now, and until tomorrow. If you have black mold branching out in your home, and hear a loved one calling to you from the closet? You might want to call someone to remove the mold as you are likely hallucinating and your health is really at risk. Also you might have a soul eating monster in your closet but, really. Black mold is nothing to take lightly. GOODNIGHT!