SCORETOBER!!!! Day 11 The Amityville Horror!!

Day 11

The Amityville Horror

This was an early recommendation made to me as a kid, by our video store clerk. They weren’t sure what I might be able to handle, so they felt it’d be a good spookfest for me. My mom was cool enough to say yeah sure I’ve seen that, there’s nothing that’ll scar my child or turn him into a deranged evil being.

So we rented it and the world was happy for it.

I fell asleep during the first watching.

I did, It was just so slow!

So, so slow.

But I later revisited this when I was a bit older and could appreciate a film taking its time to tell a story. What I got out of that experience was a much better overall time, and the film was pretty damn fun. The music stuck with me too. It sounded fairly similar to Rosemary’s baby, But this was also what I felt of a lot of films made in this era because well. Church organ music and children going “la la, la la….la la la la laaa la” was just creepy enough for any high brow horror.

But of course what drew me to wanting to watch this was the whole premise around it, that this actually happened, and what you were seeing was based on what really happened.

So of course little me was like “Strap me in and lets get this hog rollin!”

So in that same spirit. Lets get in it! DEEP in it!

The Movie

What better way to begin your movie than with a shotgun family homicide.

Well you add a storm of course! Also a creepy set of windows to an old colonial home. That’ll do it.

Also yes, we are getting what most of you I am sure remember mostly from the Conjuring films, the unexplained execution style killing one man did to his wife and four children with no motivation or reason. Sometimes things happen without explanation, and people just, well yeah.

Now that event did actually happen, rather infamously. And yes the house was put up on the market and a year or more later a family ended up moving in. In this case, and our films, it’s the Lutz family.

A family played by none other than James Brolin and Margot Kidder. Something I will always love with these older films is the fact the people they had playing couples, actually looked like couples, and were played by older actors usually. So yes. A bearded Brolin is a welcome Brolin.

What isn’t welcome however as these two tour the house they’re debating buying. Is the sudden loud burst of murder flashbacks! That usually ruins the mood when touring a home you are considering purchasing. Also time suddenly freezing at random moments with musical stings will do that. But not for our couple. They recognize a deal when they see one!

At the time of course it was unthinkable for most, and also considered very poor taste to actually knowingly move into a murder home. But people gotta find homes sometimes, and at the same time, there are a lot of houses out there with a history very few know about, and for all you know. Your home could be a murder home, or a former crack home, or a devious sex dungeon. But the sex dungeon could also be by design, I don’t judge.

So our couple is taking the murder house and they’re going to make the most of it. They are a good Christian family with strong moral values. So they will keep the sex dungeon to a minimal, and hammer a crucifix onto the wall somewhere for good measure.

Of course this is something they actually do!

The first month they move into the place and one of the first things the dad does is hammer up a gian silver no nonsense cross. The family also thought it’d be a good idea to call a local priest to swing by and bless the house for them. Which they still do of course. It’s not unheard of to have them do so, or for people to buy huge bundles of shit stinking incense to burn through the home and rid it of evil or harmful spirits.

So the priest enters the lordly home and is ready to do some hardcore blessing. So he starts off with a room that looks closest to a meth heads room, complete with religious artifacts. But before he begins, he needs to expel some evil farts from his anus. However, unfortunately. The door to the room closes, and his colon begins to awaken a rolling chorus of deep billowing farts that radiate through the room, fogging the windows. The room is filling with fart gas that’d choke a camel and a man sweat rotten eggs.

Soon flies begin to swarm the man. Like a blanket of flies all screaming and buzzing asking the priest “Why? Why is your ass unleashing the lords fury in this room? What devil or beast roams your bowels?!” The priest is choking on his own gas and it gets so horrific and shameful, that the house suddenly throws the door open and tries its best to remain calm and tell the man “Get out” but it can’t speak without inhaling the stink of spicy chicken and cabbage. So it screams at him “GET OUT!” And he does just that. Running from the house, praying for his underwear and pants.

Maybe not, actually. Okay not at all. But I mean it could’ve happened. At least it did in Scary Movie 2 God I love that movie.

But yes, the family in the movie, as the Lutz did in real life, have a priest bless their home and supposedly yes as the film shows us. He attempted blessing a room, only to find the window would not budge, and when he began to pray suddenly the room became black with swarms of flies that attacked him. He couldn’t breath and the air seemed sucked out of the room. Which all stopped just as suddenly as it began and he swears he heard a spirit or demon whisper at him then scream to leave the house. Even after leaving he felt sickly and trying to contact the home owners seems futile when trying to warn them.

Whether you believe it or not is your call entirely. But we have more pressing immediate concerns versus a priest and flies.

Like Margot Kidder in 70’s panties looking at herself in a mirror and doing some stretches while her horny hubby watches and thinks, why yes. Yes I think we both earned some sex after a busy day.

So Mister and Misses Lutz spank ass to nuts and do the thing that got them 3 kids in the first place. Because what’s one more.

It’s really a very fast 30 minutes of movie but it feels slow because little actually happens for the most part and its all pulling double duty. Setting mood, showing a normal family adjusting to a new home, and establishing there is some bad horrible not good stuff going on in this house.

The most horrible yet to happen is their sex is interrupted by a soul sucking demon called a child. Well as parents can attest it does happen. Their youngest is having trouble sleeping, so mom and dad will have to save their fun for another time. What isn’t normal however, is a rocking chair that starts rocking on its own.

Well okay there’s actually a lot not normal going on with this house, but we’re just getting started.

And one of those starting things, is beginning with Daddy Lutz. Who is slowly becoming irritated and angry at small things. He’s also beginning to get dark circles showing under his eyes. It’s very subtle at first and a sign of slow building things yet to come.

Mama Lutz meanwhile takes care of the house trying to help Mr Lutz with getting his mind relaxed and off small things happening around the house, mostly like hells toilet water flooding out of the toilets. One of her task she takes upon herself is to call the local church and tell them that they expect the priest to still come by sometime and bless the house as they didn’t see him during the first week of moving in. But she’s informed he had been there but unfortunately will not be able to help them for some time as he's unfortunately very ill and can’t help them.

SO the church sends a nun instead, and she comes armed with the holy gift of a house plant!

Which she eagerly and happily brings with her into the house. Bustling about and not vanishing without warning like Sister Amanda Krueger was in our previous movie.

But the longer she spends in the house, for the short time she’s there, the more she suddenly feels and becomes violently ill. To a point that just like the father, she feels choked out by the house and largely unwelcome. So she yeets out of there as fast as she can. Much to the sadness of Mama Lutz who really wanted to see a friendly face and have a conversation that wasn’t with a child, or a husband who seems more and more on edge.

Also you know, having tar come out of your toilets and a rotting smell straight from hell also ruins your mood. But the Nun will have…NONE of that. Haha. So she leaves the house despite Mrs. Lutz trying desperately to get the nun to stay with her.

That’s two for the house, zero for the family.

Well hold on, seems the scoring was not completed just yet. The judges are finding another point for the house is being awarded. Not only have they managed to knock out two holy figures from the house. But they’ve also managed to cast a boner-be-gone spell on Mr Lutz manly member, as he attempts making love to his wife only to have her sweetly tell him it’s foine, it happens, you have nothing to prove my manly man.

So yes, three for the house, zero for the family.

Also of course it’s not foine! Mr Lutz is grumbled by this and it only adds to his already growing irritation. Which is also now coming in a never ending need to keep the house warm. He’s chopping firewood like mad and keeps a roaring fire going in the house, but still can’t stop shivering.

Also, also. If your partner, whom is usually loving and cute toward you. Suddenly turns to you wild eyed and on edge, while holding an Axe and tells you NOT to touch them. That is a sign you may want to either A.) Engage in some private adult activity of the dick sucking kind B.) make some tea, give a shoulder rub and talk about things or C.) assume demons and get the hell out of there.

As we still have an hour to go, I will let you decide which road his wife chose.

She chose to ignore it and continue with her day.

Spoiler.

Well things for the family are, as you can imagine a bit stressful. The mom’s brother is getting married and she’s over the moon happy about it. Mr Lutz is looking like walking death as he’s grown pale, his eyes distant and crazy, and the man is still freezing his troublesome penis off in the house. But he’s trying to maintain.

So as the parents take off for the wedding, they leave the children behind under the care of a babysitter. Who honestly is doing a pretty good job, but she’s also a little bit uptight. Or things were very different back then. She accuses their youngest of mouthing off to her when she was just seeming to be an okay kid. She just wasn’t really wanting to get off to bed yet.

Apparently this upsets the daughters not so imaginary friend, and the babysitter ends up locked in a closet with the light turned off.

She has spent hours inside that closet in the dark, crying and desperately trying to get out only to have no one answer her cries.  As their parents get home they find the babysitter in a very horrific state. She’s sobbing in the closet, knuckles bloodied from knocking and fingernails chipped. Blood smears on the door and both parents are beside themselves, confused and scared.

The mom demands of her youngest why she didn’t open the door and let the girl out? Which prompts what should be a scary answer for anyone. She tells them her imaginary friend ‘Jodie’ wouldn’t let her help the girl.

Of course no one cares to listen. Mr Lutz has decided the problem is his wife and her poor parenting of ‘her’ kids. They have no discipline, they don’t listen to anyone, and they apparently torture babysitters. Obviously he is not going to be of any help. And Mama Lutz is still. Doing her best. To hold her shit together.

As for the sick priest? Well, if he questioned his belief before, he certainly doesn’t any more. He has another priest attempt to drive him to the Lutz house. Only to have the car become under the influence of the devil, swerving the car in and out of traffic, nearly killing the two of them. Only strengthening his belief evil is in that house and looking to harm that family.

It gets so bad in fact for the priest that his own high ranking friends worry about him, and enlist the help of. Well. Of all people. The mayor from Jaws, Murray Hamilton. Who is playing a similar role now as Father I don’t believe in evil Ryan.

Well the priest are worried about father Delaney. He’s scared for that family. Believes the devil is after them, told them he heard voices tell him to get out of the house. How they were almost killed. His friends tell him to take a chill pill and stop blaming the devil for everything.  It’s easier to blame the communist than it is the devil.

He can’t take it and breaks down. Losing his calm and telling it exactly how it is. He has felt true evil, it has attacked him for trying to help that family. He loves the church and god, and he knows with ever fiber of his being and bit of his belief, that something evil is there and intent on harming that family, So they need to do everything they can to help them.

But just as he did when he was the mayor of Amity Island, and now has to deal with Amityville house. He denies evil, tells the priest to take a vacation and shut his mouth before they have him committed.

The house is just racking up the wins here. Also maybe remove Murray Hamilton from having any responsibility related to public safety in anything concerning anything remotely containing Amity in its name. It seems to be a theme for him.

Speaking of themes. George Lutz has some friends coming to visit him. Well one friend. His buddy and right hand man in their business they run together. He’s brought along his wife who’s looking forward to seeing her friend Kathy Lutz. That is until she exits the car, looks at the two window eyes of the house and immediately feels like several periods just exploded in her body at the same time.

She tells her hubby she can’t go near that house. She’s not feeling fresh, she feels bloated, constipated, she’s sweating under her bra, and she’s full of gas. So she sits in the car staring at the house of evil, while her husband tries to understand the beauty and mystery of women.

Well the man is on a mission. He has a gift for George, a spotlight for his boat, he also has some magazines for him and he just so happened to bring some of his work over. It seems George has forgotten how many days he’s been working around the house and chopping firewood. He hasn’t been to work in days. The men who work for him have yet to be paid as well,  so he promised to bring their pay slips to George and have him sign them. He also decides, while laying all of this wonderful news on George. George who listens while sharpening repeatedly one side of his axe over, and over, and over again. That the caterer who he was supposed to pay for the wedding in cash, and gave a check to instead, well the check bounced, and George owes that man $500 bucks.

Now. Normally. It might be okay to lay this much on someone. Especially a business partner. However, when they look pale like a corpse. Their eyes are dark pits of soulless energy, and you see them standing beside a mountain of chopped firewood, intently sharpening an already overly sharpened axe? You may want to reconsider your timing, decide that there is a place and a time for some conversations, and this is one of those best eased into and discussed away from murder sites.

Speaking of murder sites. We have a fun moment coming up. Which does not involve murder directly. But it does involve the house which itself is an entire murder site.

Amy is playing with her dolls, having an odd tea party. Which if you listen in on, you’ll understand there’s something very odd going on, for a little girl to be having the type of ‘talk’ she is, with her doll friends. Meanwhile her two brothers watch from a window above and decide to annoy her relentlessly with a fake spider tied to line on a fishing pole. Only it doesn’t scare Amy, who seems used to their antics. It just annoys her as she was having a meaningful conversation about her friends not being smartasses and talking back to her. They interrupted a serious moment. So she’s upset. Mama Lutz happens into the boys room and catches them by the window as they are reeling in their fake spider. She ask what they were up to and of course they answer nothing at all. The house calls bullshit on this and slams a window shut, down on top of one of the boys hands, immediately causing his fingers to bleed. Amazingly somehow, he didn’t suffer a single broken bone. The house was mad on behalf of the daughter, but not mad enough to cause serious harm. That’s still in the works and filed under later plans.

Thankfully his friend leaves unharmed, and his wife we can assume is feeling a lot less unfresh.

However Mrs. Lutz is still not feeling the greatest.

In fact she could use some comfort, a hug, and a talk. Seriously those things do wonders, and also she is actually trying to talk to her husband in their bed. She has concerns, and he is a large part of those concerns. Sure its 3am but she wants to talk to him. I’ve woke my ex’s up in the past at 3am, and usually they all have the same response “Either put it in or let me sleep”, so yeah relationships need communication and she’s trying to have a heart to heart needed conversation.

At 3am.

However he is ignoring her, pretending to be asleep. This also for future advice, does not help your relationship. Pretending to sleep is never a good idea, they know you are faking it, and you will regret that choice.

Only in this case she lets it slide because. Well again, the man is spending his days sharpening an axe relentlessly and producing enough firewood to fuel several houses. She’s making a good choice to ignore it.

However what NO ONE can ignore. Is the storm brewing outside and the ‘wind’ that suddenly rips their front door off its hinges.

Its no easy task mind you, their door is thick, huge and expensive looking. It wasn’t the only victim either, oddly enough. The basement door also was burst open. Nearly taring out the trim along the door frame. It was scary enough the family called the cops out, assuming they’d had a brake in.

Its an eerie scene mostly do in part to the police investigators called out. As one of them was there during the arrest of the father who killed his family. He can’t help but notice George Lutz bares a striking resemblance to the man.  Which not gonna lie, when a chief investigator tells you that, it should be cause for concern. But George is not-a-vailable. He is more concerned with the fact he is certain someone broke into their house and tore their front door. It leads to a few curiosities, mostly one that the families doggo for some odd reason is very interested in the basement and a stone wall down there. The basement door which was also burst through, according to the investigator was done so not from the outside like an intruder would do, but from the inside. Like someone was escaping the basement and did the same thing to the front door.

But George is convinced otherwise. He believes the sight of himself in his fruit of the loom nut huggers and manly beard was enough to scare the thief out of their home.

Which could work, I mean beards are pretty powerful things. But not three wolf moon shirt powerful.

Meanwhile his doggo is desperately trying to dig under the basement stone wall, and won’t stop for anything or anyone. George has to shout out at him to finally stop it, but even then. Once he and the police exit the room, The dog returns back to his curious task. In the end the police find no evidence of burglary. Nothing stolen, two doors broken and a shaken family are all that’s accountable. Which seemingly works for George. But is further driving his wife insane with the need for a reasonably priced explanation for just what the hell is going on!

It's kind of sad honestly, You have the couple sitting outside their house, and each one having a very different reaction to what happened. A lot of unexplained odd events happening in the house. Their youngest claiming an invisible friend talks to her and acts out when people are mean, her husband losing more and more of his loving charm and becoming quiet, distant and irrationally irritable. An uneasy feeling just from standing in the house, and none of her friends seem to be able to go near them or help. George is staring off into nothing while they sit there and she breaks down trying to remember a time of any normalcy in her life.

Well leave it to your kids to make you question normalcy in the world!

George may not think there’s anything wrong within the house, but Kathy is beginning to suspect it and wants answers. So she starts with the simplest. Lets talk to my daughter and see what she has to say. Surely it can’t be that bad.

So she ask Amy about her imaginary friend and what all the two do everyday.

Well they play a lot and talk. A lot. Her friend tells her that she wants Amy to stay there with them forever. This friend, also tells them about the other kids who lived there, and how they died, and how they too are there forever. That her friend wants them all to stay there so they can all play together forever.

Yeah. Of course that’s just what a mother wants to hear to help settle her mind.

Its enough Kathy calls their priest. The poor man that’s had flies attack him, nearly dies in a car ride attempting to go back there, had his friends call him cray. So why not give him a call. The priest immediately feels is somewhat okay life shook as his phone rings, and he wants to answer it but he feels if he does, it’s gonna cost him his ass.

Well this is a fun reminder for people of what it used to be like living in a time not so long ago. There was a time, when telephones used to ring and keep ringing until you answered it. If you were busy on the line? You’d get a busy tone when trying to call. You didn’t have built in answering machines picking up after the 4th ring. Your ass just sat there, waiting, and hoping someone would answer, and after 30 rings you’d finally hang up and go “Well, I guess no one was there.”

That thankfully isn’t the case here, it only took a dozen rings from the phone before the priest weighed his options and answered the phone. Hearing the shaking voice of Kathy Lutz and her pleading cries as she loses her small sense of emotional control. She cries on the phone pleading for the priest to come and help them, that they need him more than ever. The priest isn’t fairing any better, he’s trying to keep together and attempts to tell her she needs to leave the house, save her family and get out of there as soon as possible. But he again finds himself unable to talk, being choked out. Even as he is forced to hang up the phone. And Mrs. Lutz could hear nothing he was able to manage to say as her line was nothing but static. Surely that is the work if AT&T, not Pacific Bell, Because PacBell always offers clear constant service, and carries a strict no demonic intrusions policy. That’s why more people choose Pacbell.

What of Daddy Lutz you say? What’s ol’ crazy pants up to? Well he’s got himself a curious mission. This also is what happens when you had movies back then based off of books, based off of supposed real events. They tended to leap forward a lot with little explanation and just assumed one small event would be enough to explain the next leap forward in the story. Which works when you pay attention. But it’s also hugely helpful to have a lot more details sometimes. SOMETIMES!

George is curious about that basement wall and why the dog was so curious about it. There also seems to be some sort of breeze coming from it. Which is also just a tad odd. So George is doing what people used to do in the before Google time, he’s visiting city hall and getting the homes original blueprints. He’s also making a stop at the local library for books on….you know, usual home owner stuff, like demons.

But best of all to round out his day. He’s going to a bar! Named “The Witches Brew” no less. Because alcohol solves everything. Just ask Jack Torrence.

Well George is meeting with his business partner and they’re going to discuss man stuff. Mostly drink, throw a few angry punches and talk about the fact George has turned pants crapping insane.

Speaking of pants crappingly insane, while George is hanging with the boys….well boy. His wife is dealing with the fact her daughter has an imaginary friend telling her about dead people and playing forever together with dead people, a priest who she can’t talk too, and phantom visitors knocking at her door. So she’s doing just great. Swell even. The evening is approaching and she decides it’s a good time as any to check on her daughter as she hears her singing “Jesus loves me” alone in her room, rocking idly in a chair, while another chair in front of her rocks. Not at all concerning. Of course it is! Of course it also troubles her! But she has no time for that. She’s about to literally crap herself because outside her window are two glowing eyes just hovering there.  Now. We don’t see her filling her pants, nor do we hear her do so. But you can rest assured. Those pants are not much fuller than they were before she walked into this horror show in her daughters room.

Meanwhile daddy Lutz is sharing his finds with his buddy and buddy’s wife. He whips out the stolen library book and goes over the plans to the house as well as current events with his friend. Which subtly introduces something new with George that again makes a bit more sense if you’d read the book. He noticed anytime he got away from the house, he’d feel better, like his old self. The house had less of a hold on him. So talking with his friend he can actually show concern and tells him about the torn doors, windows opening and closing on their own. Strange voices and activity throughout. Which his friends wife has a simple explanation for. His house is built on, IS The Ketchum house, a home that belonged to a man accused of being a witch, a devil worshipper. That the ground the house was built on was likely used for demon stuff and playing marbles with the devil. Rolling dice on stone floors after sacrifices.

Well Georges friend isn’t buying that and does what a lot of men did back then. Told his wife to shut the hell up and stop talking about witches.

He tells George that he should get cleaned up, maybe shave so he doesn’t get locals telling him he looks exactly like the original owner did before he slaughtered his family. Go tell his wife she’s pretty. Take her out to dinner, place a hand on her butt so she feels special. He even offers to take care of and watch their kids while the couple has a date night.

Well George does appreciate his wifes butt, and it does sound like a good idea, so why not. He ask his friends to come over to the house with him and that way they can see him offer the dinner, good time, and butt rubbing to his wife. They agree and thankfully we are going back to the devil house where all of live can only go down hill for these people as we enter the last 30 minutes. SURELY. Nothing bad can happen.

Surely.

The very moment George tells them he’s gonna go tell his wife the news, his friends wife has gone from feeling bloated, constipated, full of gas, and the pain of several periods all at one. To now acting like she’s having her ass tickled with a feather. She feels something is a foot. There’s a great energy around that house, and its much different than before. So she says ‘hey bud lets party’, actually no. She just invites herself into their home and tells hubby she ‘needs’ to explore the basement.

Well Kathy gets to unload on her husband all of her concerns and the daily evil happenings. George thinks it’s a cool story and tells her about his totally original idea not their friends suggestion of showering, taking her out, and hugging her butt. She’s pretty okay but skeptical of the butt holding part. Then she loses her excitement when George tells her they can go just as soon as he takes care of the fireplace. Because the man really loves his house hell hot.

Seriously the man brings in 10 logs of wood. That’s not a fire, that’s a bonfire.

Meanwhile his friends are exploring his basement. The family dog is just left to their own business down there. Still scratching and pawing at the stone wall. Literally do the point the poor doggo is bleeding from his paws all over the floor and wall. Poor pupper.

Thankfully Georges friend is helping the doggo and cleaning his poor paws. However his wife has gone from drawn by the houses energy to straight up dry humping.

She’s sensing that behind that wall is a room where the witchy devil people kept bodies, of their victims, sacrifices, or family burial land who knows. Just bodies.

She’s so driven by this information she feels being fed to her, that she picks up a pickaxe and demands they break down the wall in the basement to uncover this unholy room.

Her hubby can’t deal with this and thankfully takes it away from her. But George is now present and see’s this. Hears the woman tell him what she believes to be there, and George is all for it. He’s pro team ‘Fuck this wall’

And so they do. George begins smashing that wall like no man has ever smashed before. Naturally, as you might imagine. The smashing has gotten Kathy’s attention. So she decides to watch her husband and his odd flex.

What they uncover, is the coolest, and also evilest room you could ever imagine and hope not to find on your own property, but would be fine if it were on your friends property because, fuck that shit on your own property.

They uncover a red room. Literally a room painted red in stones. A room which causes Georges butthole to pucker as he sees the face of the man who killed his entire family in that house and realizes ‘oh damn, everyone is right, I do look like this sexy bastard.’,

More importantly though, and unfortunately. We learn why his friends wife was so hard up on exploring the house as she seems to now be full blown possessed by a voice channeling through her. Screaming out that they need to find the well, the well is a gateway to hell.

However not everyone is pleased with hearing this demonic voice, as you might imagine. The voice is even able to effect our poor never off the hook priest. Yep. He’s having night sweats and screaming into his hands for no reason other than something to do. Obviously. And the fact his phone starts ringing and when he answers it hangs up has nothing at all to do with the discovery of this room. It’s all just a normal Tuesday night.

Except for the fact every crucifix in their home is now upside down and covered in black ash. There’s also the chief of police parked outside their home, George admits to hearing the evil voice from his friends wife. And he has to admit evil is happening everywhere around them.

So George decides to for once in his life do something. He picks up the large silver cross from the wall, wipes off the black ash from it and walks hand in hand with his wife, room by room as they begin quoting scripture in an attempt to bless the house. Only for George to find the cross suddenly heavy. Too heavy to bare, and his wife suddenly covered in pox.

Which, to be fair, is mildly alarming.

Mildly.

Of course this stops them dead in their tracks from continuing with their task, and they somehow make it through the night, STILL in the house.

How. Why. No one can say. But they decide its cool to stay in the demon house. Even after they both admit there is evil shit happening.

Surely that’s the extent of it.

Well for them perhaps. But what of the priest? Well, he’s going to try a blessing in his church with his bestie. He’s gotta do something for the sake of his own sanity. Only his sanity is just what he is losing. As he begins his blessings, a Statue over head begins to crumble as he speaks. But he will not be stopped. He begins to shout with all his faith and conviction a prayer blessing, and just at its apex he screams out, finally giving in. Discovering with horror that he has become blind. Just like that his eye sight was taken from him. This poor guy. I tell ya.

Meanwhile, at the most evil fucking house to ever exist, and extrude a red murderous evil light from its windows, as any normal house would do.

George is roaming the house, confused and hearing marching drums. But thankfully, for him it’s just a bad dream. Kathy however hears a terrible storm and roams the house looking for her husband. Only to find him standing over her daughters bed, Wielding an axe and hovering over the bloody corpse of her daughter! Before coming at her and driving the axe into her forehead. Thankfully….it was just a nightmare for poor Kathy.

However what wasn’t a nightmare, was Georges evening. The man wakes up downstairs in the room he heard the marching music. Sat beside his precious fireplace. Where he continues to add more wood to the fire. Kathy tries having a conversation with her husband but he is as helpful as a bowl of jello. While delicious, he’s pointless to talk to.

She’s concerned for her husband and their safety. But Geoge is tired of her nagging again, and only cares for the fireplace. So he slaps his annoying wife and resumes his attempt at a Guinness world record for most consistent and largest fire.

Never has a family met the criteria for the meme ‘Yall need Jesus’ more than this family.

Unfortunately Kathy tries getting close to Jesus by checking in on their priest, only to hear what has become of him. That now he is forced to sit in silence, blind and more aware than ever of evils true existence in this world.

So Kathy is on her own, and she is done. Being slapped by her husband is not what she signed up for, and she’s not going to let demons mess with her life. It’s hard enough being a single mother with three kids, but finding a man that loves you, wants to take care of you and your kids, then having that man lose his shit to a house demon. She’s not having it. So with all the power of Christ and Christianity behind her, cheering her on. She goes to the local Library to review news stories about the murders in that house…

I know I was mildly confused myself, and still am. But hey it’s what she’s gonna do.

Not like anything evil is happening or about to.

Back at the house of evil, George is sharpening his murder axe for the soul intent of murdering every and anything in need of murder. The family dog is far more concerned with the evil red room the family just pays no nevermind to since growing bored with its discovery. Even as the floorboards in that room begin to crack and bounce. The dog takes it upon themselves to bark out holy dog scripture in an attempt to cast out the evil himself. It’s an epic battle that only those who can translate Bork will understand, and those that do, know it is some serious earth shattering shit. This dog is fighting paw and claw for his family, facing off against the murder pit room.

All while George test the sharpness of his axe by destroying his boat, ensuring the family has no means of escaping this night, appropriately labeled for us as “The Last Night”, As Kathy enters the home desperate to find and save her family. She hardly even notices as the front door behind her slams shut, locking her in the house. George is outside in the rain looking crazier than usual. But he isn’t exactly having an easy time of it either. When George looks up to the house he made a home. He sees an evil pig headed monster with glowing murder eyes.

When George enters the house he is only mildly concerned with the fact the walls, the stairs, the ceiling. All of the house is now dripping blood. Begging to question, is that the work of evil, or a feature left unmentioned by the real estate agent.

Well no time to ponder that, It’s murder time. He’s got an axe, and he didn’t spent 18 days sharpening that axe just for looks. Yup. He’s hunting for his family. Screaming out looking for targets to bury his aze into. But thankfully the kids have hidden themselves from him, unfortunately there’s only so many rooms you can hide in, and only so quiet you can be while trying to ignore and not scream at a man waving an axe around.

As he stumbles across the attic room the kids are in he begins bashing his axe into the door. Thankfully Mama Lutz leaps onto his back like a Spider monkey, stopping him from murdering her babies. Only now she has put herself in harms way. George, beyond all reason. Throws Kathy off his back to the floor, Lifts his axe into the air and as she readies for the blow. He thankfully has a moment of hesitation and drives the axe into the floor boards, not into his wifes skull. Instead of wanting to kill the kids, George is now helping them and getting his family the hell out of that house. Finally accomplishing a good task for once.

That is until Amy the youngest of the three kids tearfully announces they need the family dog. She can’t live without him and they need him.

It’s only then that the family is aware and I hope for their eternal souls thankful that the dog stayed behind conducting his demon removal ritual. But they aren’t. Kathy could care less and is just glad not to have an axe in her forehead. However George is considering the fact he’s treated everyone like shit, he just tried to murder the kids. So it might win him some good daddy points to go back in the rain, into the demon house, and save the family dog.

What could possibly go wrong. Especially when the floorboards in the room of pure evil have been thrown back, and a pit of pure evil revealed. The very pit his friends wife was demonically screaming about. George makes it not only into the house, but somehow. Horrifically right into the pit of hell itself!

Which FYI, the pit is full of the blood of the damned. At least I imagine it’s the damned, because DAMNED if I know who’s blood it is. But George is covered head to toe in it. In fact his whole body is, he looks like a tar creature.

Which upsets and confuses Harry the dog. But Harry isn’t done with his ritual. Begins borking about the power of Christ compelling George and denouncing the demons in that house back to their pit of hell. Just to make sure his borking worked, Harry bites at the blood covered George. George appropriately screams and begs the dog not to kill him. Harry considers this an appropriate human response and begins to help pull his owner to safety.

With that, George escapes the house with Harry, Making it back to the family van. Likely screaming at everyone he is not going back into that house for anything else, and if they wanted anything from the house, they should’ve thought about that before he was pulled into the hell pit.

And as the family leaves the hell house, the movie decides to end the story there and slap us with our conclusion to the story, “George and Kathleen Lutz and their family never reclaimed their house or their personal belngings. Today they live in another state”

The End.

Well no shit they live in another state! Who the hell would decide to stick around a demon house? I mean sure the market being what it is today, and with inflation. You’d learn to deal with the demons and stark raving madness consuming your every waking moment. But still that’s a hard sell.

In fact the whole story was a real hard sell. But it scared enough people, and garnered enough media attention that for a short time back then, it was all  the rage and indeed, as the Conjuring films showed new audiences of today, the Warrens, Ted and Loraine. Did in fact investigate the house and family. Believing it to be one of the most truly evil places they’ve ever been to.

Whether you believe in it or not. The book sold like fire, everyone wanted to read it and the movie was more or less guaranteed after the success of the book and media frenzy around the story.

It remains a marker in a special place in time that I kind of wish we still had today. But with the internet and such we just don’t see. But there actually was a time people like the Warrens were on Television constantly. You’d hear stories of paranormal happenings and unexplained events on TV. Investigative stories would be done and in the case of Amityville, full blown investigations.

It was an interesting time and I’d be curious how those same stories would be received today if those things still got that kind of attention.

Regardless, the film for its time was considered a huge horror success and scary as hell. By todays standards its not so much that as it is, well dated. At least for some. But it still holds up I feel. It’s an interesting story, and fun film. Its well acted and whole sitting at an hour and 55 minute run time. The movie really moves along. It manages an odd feat of both telling you the story, and giving the feeling there Is more there they couldn’t cover and it does make you, at least I’d hope. Somewhat interested in finding out more for yourself. Once you do and it fills in those blanks for you. You find a more complete experience at the end.

It definitely wasn’t something for me to appreciate at my young age when I first saw it, that’s for sure. But later on definitely. I’ve grown enough of an appreciation for it that I file the film under one of those, you have to be in the mood for. And when you are, it just hits right. And I even picked it up recently in 4k. Which makes it look all the better.

There was a remake done in the 2000’s sometime, It amped up a lot of the scares making them more horrific versus genuine. It made for a much more terrifying jumpscare film. But not so much a scary movie. There is a difference that’s worth learning, and enjoying.

But over the years I’ve grown to really appreciate this movie and enjoy it. It got me interested in the paranormal, much more so than Poltergeist believe it or not. And still remains one of my favorite fun films in October to dive into.

Now, as for the music. Well

The Music

If you want the most bizarre and scary experience of your life. Listen to this soundtrack. There are full tracks that you only hear pieces of through the film, and the full tracks themselves are so odd, and creepy. It creates its own story that actually can make you wonder what movie you watched. Because this music is just another story itself.

It was made in 1979 at a time where films like this were treated to respectful orchestral scores. Like Suspense film music grew a separate limb that began to pull itself free of the body to create the genre of terror. It’s honestly the best way to describe it. It’s not hyperbole.

The very first, and certainly oddest bit of music you hear on the soundtrack is ‘Amityville Frenzy”, it’s the main theme of the film. But done in a sort of disco like tone. Its kinda funny, but then creepy It really makes you wonder what the hell this is.

It happens at random moments throughout the soundtrack too. But as for the rest of it, the majority of it. The music is just pure orchestrated anxiety made by Lalo Schifrin.

Listening to the music the first time I picked up the album was its own experience. There’s really no other way to describe it and that’s why I loved it. It wasn’t the film at all you were getting. It was a different kind of scary story being told to you in the music. A more complete and terrifying one. The first time I listened to it I had to go back and watch the movie because well. Part of me wondered if I had picked up the right score, and I also just hadn’t picked up a lot of what I heard in the film that I did on the album. It was a genuine trip and I loved it.

It's just a really creepy concert that you can get lost in and enjoy beginning to end. It almost plays like a directors cut of sorts for the movie. Like listening to an expanded score.

How a film score could sound more evil than the movie it came from AND accompanied, I don’t know. But it did. So I embraced it. I’d say I wish more film scores were like that, but I don’t. It’s best when they are kept at a rarity like that. Most of the time you get film scores released now before the film itself, and when you listen to them, it gets you hyped for the movie sure. But it tells a different story. Because you hadn’t heard it yet. Films like Promethius and Tron legacy are prime examples. They put out the music first to hype the films up and I still to this day believe whatever the original story was that the music had in mind. Was far grander and better than what the film itself delivered.

But that’s part of the magic of film scores. This is just a prime example of that. Had you listened to this before seeing the movie? Your experience may have been different. You might’ve expected something bigger and scarier than what you got. Certainly at the time it scared the crap out of folks, but today yeah not so much, and the music? Still holds up today as being creepy as hell, and not just for the disco music tracks.

It's all a wonderful story told through music and reminds me a lot of early John Williams scores. Likes Jaws and Poltergeist, Even Indiana Jones. You can ‘hear’ the story, picture it in your head as you lay back and listen with your headphones on. This soundtrack tells a story, beginning to end. But a much scarier gripping story, an almost uneasy one. Tracks like “Get Out”, it starts off so innocently and sweet, before slowly turning sour and before you know it, it’s a full on panic attack of terror and evil. The further along you go in the score it just escalates further and further. By the time you reach one of my favorite pieces “The Basement” it’s just pure evil into insanity. Which is appropriate considering the very next track to my memory is the one about the walls bleeding. WHICH IS INSANE!

Its all so beautifully constructed and pieced together. I wish there were more scores like it out there, and thankfully there are a few, as we’ll get to those soon enough. Absolutely you need to check it out for yourself, you won’t regret it, and it will, I promise, be an experience you’ll either enjoy or find terrifyingly trippy. Also I promise it won’t infect your home with demons. Well I semi promise I can’t really know for sure, or I’m not allowed to tell you. Don’t ask

Really though, it’s something that’s stuck with me and I’ve actually kept off of all my ipods on purpose. As much as I enjoy random playlist, this music is just something I whole heartedly feel and will defend should never be played as a single track experience then skip the rest. It needs to tell the story It has to share, and you need to listen to that story. To whatever end.

Check out the movie, more importantly by the music, and until tomorrow. Make sure any dog you buy is certified on Bork to perform exorcisms and demon removals, you’ll be glad you did later.