REVIEW!! Mother/Android

Mother/Android : The Quest for Peace

This movie was horrible, boring, and a complete waste of anyone, and everyones time.

I could leave it at that, and call my day done. But no.

I don’t want to play by play the film because it’s too painful to go back over. So we will only bring up a few points worth doing so. Which isn’t to say the film itself has any worth. It mostly does in the same sense I suppose as a cadaver does to a medical school. So let’s begin.

Yes I hated this film. More to the point, I hated the articles and tweets praising this film as well. Because it’s nothing but clickbait to get you wasting your time on a below the bar scifi film.

On paper. The basic plot is thus. A woman and her boyfriend have a child together and race to Boston in hopes of boarding a ship to Korea, saving their family.

On Screen what we get isn’t even hilarious. Just horrible.

We begin with a monologue about loss, and making the tough choice. Preparing us for what awaits. Cut to the past, and we find Georgia  our lead female in a bathroom with her boyfriend, and 3 positive pregnancy sticks. She is for sure, highly pregnant.

Her boyfriend, Sam. Is perfectly understandable about this, and accepts his place in fatherhood now.

But he doesn’t. He looks at the three pregnancy test. Which we can assume either he had her piss on while present. Or she carried them with her. He then tells her to take a 4th one.  Because 4 out of 5 is a more solid positive versus 3.

Was he joking? No. It’s played seriously. These two aren’t exactly that young, or stupid, But we will keep track of his decision making throughout.

So understandable she isn’t entirely happy with his request as it does make him out to be unaccepting of what has happened and where he now finds himself.   

Which is a jumbled mess but, shows where these characters are.

On the one hand. They use it to set up for us, that these two were ‘dating’, not necessarily in a relationship.

We learn this when the couple return from the bathroom minus one of Georgias socks.

Sam’s response to her being pregnant and her own wants in life are at a headbutt with one another. He can’t believe be knocked her up, and she’s mildly annoyed she is. Because she doesn’t know that she wants to be with him. He feels guilty for his reaction and feels he needs to step up. Because that’s what she wants.

What we get from this on screen. If Georgia removing one of her socks, putting the three piss test into her sock and then subsequently, tosses said sock either into an unseen clothes hamper, or to the floor. Walking off minus one sock. It’s a choice, I guess.

They quickly and awkwardly rejoin family and friends. Which is when we learn it is Christmas, and they are at her families home. Also that we are in the future where piss strip pregnancy test are still used, and fully synthetic completely human looking androids exist.

We have to linger on this moment because it sets up the characters mind set with where they are, and was the first odd scene of cringe.

Once they rejoin, it is clear Georgia is flustered and trying to play it off as if things are fine, She is given a shot of rum, and Sam is as well. Everyone seems in high spirits and Sam reaches over to take the shot of rum from her. She is surprised by this and ask him what he’s doing. He very quietly informs her, and rightfully so “I really don’t think you should drink that with, how you are”, something to that effect. She gets upset by this and between the two of them. She ends up dropping the shot glass and tells him to chill it. So one of her friends chimes in sarcastically “Ooooh, are you to fighting?” She was not asking in concern, she was being sarcastic. Her tone, is sarcastic. So Georgia sighs and Sam answers back politely that ‘No it’s alright we’re fine.’. At hearing this, her friend immediately snaps at Sam, “I wasn’t asking you.” At which point Georgia takes off and her friend follows. They return to the bathroom, where Georgia tells her friend she is pregnant. So her sarcastic friend hugs her and is full of nothing but concern for Georgia now. She ask her about Sam and whats going on there. She sighs out in frustration and lays out how dumb Sam is and how she isn’t sure what she will do let alone if she even wants to be with Sam because. Well she just sort of ‘deals’ with him.

So after returning to the party. Georgia is ready to go. Care it taken in her friends helping get her coat for her. Put it on her, giving her a scarf to wear. Making sure she’s okay. She’s given warm hugs and farewells.

Sam on the other hand is treated like shit. It’s made very clear, that no one really cares for him. They’re only as polite as they need to be, without being friendly. He also picks up on this and it feels like this is something they might get into. Maybe he is something of a dick. Maybe her family, friends and siblings don’t care for him? But because she seems to like him they’re polite. Is it because he’s a possible dick? Or, and I hate suggesting it, was it an attempt to possibly plan on their being an interracial couple? Who knows. Certainly not us. Because it goes nowhere. They just treat him poorly. The couple leave and then the story begins.

An EMP goes off, with no explanation as to who what or why. And suddenly all artificial Intelligence is rogue and set to kill. People are screaming, being murdered, and somewhere someones dick is getting ripped off by an automated fleshlight.

From there. We jump forward in time by 9 months.

A long time for a lot to happen.

People are now in hiding from machines. If Machines find you, they kill on site. So people learned to stay hidden, scavange, and what’s left of the military have setup checkpoints and camps. They immediately stop people who come near, search their gear, test them for illnesses and to see if they’re machines. If you are, or happen to unfortunately have some form of metal in your body. You eat a bullet. Okay, makes sense.

Okay so thems our apocalypse rules. Don’t be seen, don’t be heard, run, hide and seek shelter.

So our couple, now 9 months pregnant are having a fun, loud chat in their tent. Which is highly illuminated by their powerful flashlight. In the middle of the woods. Just before dark. They are doing their best to be heard and seen, and killed. Which unfortunately does not occur.

But they do for a moment, show us that someone was outside. Who though. An android? A human? Are they attacked?

No nothing happens. Just random moment.

So be ready, because things like this happen, and we are just getting to the point where this film shows us that Sam may in fact be a failure, and Georgia is making excuses for the sake of survival. Or she too is also a horrible human being.

These two are on a journey. This journey you ask?

At some point, many months ago. They came across a pamphlet that talked about ships in Boston. Korean ships. Which are taking families from Boston. To korea. Because Korea wasn’t affected. Assumedly.

Which raises another question. Was the United States the only country affected by this? Doesn’t matter. Korea is taking families.

So Sam has a plan. Get them to Boston. Before the baby is born. Get on the ship and sail to Korea. The only catch the Korean ship has that we know of. Is that they are only taking children under 2 years old. So newborns and 1 year olds need only apply.

The problem with this plan.

Boston is declared to be in the ‘No Mans Land’, which we are informed is called this. Because. Well. No man can survive there. Death is assured. The military there, is surrounded and cut off. The only thing keeping them alive. Is a wall of EMP ready to go off, which would kill all tech. Including their own, and whatever machines are left. Which out number us. Would storm in and kill everyone.

This announcement was also made months ago. So no one is sure if they are legit, or still doing so. Sam and Georgia make it to an outpost checkpoint. A doctor there takes a look at Georgia and informs her, and us. That Georgia is a month passed her baby poppin schedule. It is highly concerning, and she adamantly tells her that she will pop her eggo any moment now. Traveling is a high risk danger, and she shouldn’t even be traveling now.

Georgia informs her of their plan. Which the nurse gives us a look about. Telling us this does not sound safe, or like a good idea at all. She also gives a concerning look when asked if she’d heard anything about the Korean boats. To which she informs us. What she had heard. Was the boats may still be going. But that they were only taking mothers and “a” baby. She tells Georgia the reason for this as she understands it. Is because of food. Their simply isn’t enough to feed an entire family. So no dads allowed.

The nurse seems very positive about this. In fact rather adamantly so.

So Georgia decides not to tell Sam this, but instead offers him a ‘theoretical’ what if, soo what if dads can’t go? Well he tells her honestly that, if that is the case. He will hate it, but he will make the journey and get her and their baby their safely, and make sure they get on the boat to safety and a new safer life.

This was the wrong answer, as she gets upset by this. Because this means he’s going to just dump her off and no longer has to deal with her, and she didn’t want to hear him say that. She wants them to stick together, and him to take care of her. So off she goes to sleep upset that he would do what the nurse said is highly likely to happen if they go there.

It also must be mentioned, a moment of sane clarity that Georgia has during her visit with the nurse. She is fully prepared to give birth while out on the road to Boston. The nurse immediately in forms her that she can give birth there. And safely in fact. They have the means, and staff to do so and keep both her and the baby safe.

This is important for understanding the stupidity here.

So we have. Korean boats in Boston, which we are 90% certain will only take mom and baby. You have a fully protected, guarded camp, with full medical staff, safety for your child, and family.

Sam hearing these things. Immediately dismisses them. He tells her, and I shit you not. I Shit. You. Not. Tells her “Just wait a bit longer from having the baby until we reach Boston, then we can get you on the boat” His one and only reasoning for this, putting aside a womans ability to control her pregnancy, much like her own period. Is that if they have the baby now. The baby will pose a risk. As it will be loud, and hungry, and harder for them to travel.

Like them having loud conversations at night in the brightest tent in the middle of the woods isn’t doing so already.

So Sams master plan, not includes fast travel. In the form of hopping a ride onto a military vehicle headed for Boston. The instant death land no one wants to go too.

So Sam heads out while his girlfriend sleeps. He decides to start asking soldiers if they could give him a ride. Of course no one wants too. But what happens instead. The one ray of hope we get. Is a soldier with an attitude, who hates Sam because he’s running away from things, not enlisting to help, and, just because reasons.

So this soldier makes a deal with Sam. He tells him he will drive him, himself to Boston. Get him a for sure ride there, so he can run away. IF. Sam can beat him up and put him on his back.

We fast forward to the one time in the film I laughed. It’s now morning, and guards are coming to get Georgia. She ask why her husband is bound to a post at the camp. We then learn that. Not only did Sam fight to win. He went full Goku and with his fight levels reaching over 9000. He blinded the soldier in one eye and nearly caved in his skull.

Dude went full on beast mode and tore this guy up. Then gets surprised when he gets arrested for it.

But will anything happen to him? Will Georgia beg them to free that man of hers?

She sighs in frustration with a very literal “God I swear this dumbass would drown diving in to save their own reflection.” It’s fine though. They’re fine, everythings fine, and the couple get a ride ‘close’ to their destination.

Neither is happy about this. She bitches him out, for fair reasons. And they carry on, a not so happy couple. Trekking across android lands for Boston.

Next comes a generous leap in logic and skills beyond measure.

The couple find themselves oh so close to their goal. But they are at a forest of robodeath. They’ve stolen and started up a motorbike. They’re riding said bike through the woods, and wouldn’t you know it. Androids. As they are being chased. 10 and a half month prego Georgia is told to ‘take them out’ So she whips out a 357 magnum. And proceeds to fire it. Aiming for headshots. At running robots and two flying drones. From the back of a motor bike, turned partially around.

Never mind recoil and how that works. Or the flaming power of 357 rounds. That’s always forgivable. But someone your left to assume trained possibly with this revolver, or is at the least familiar with it. Making kill shots from the bike, over rough terrain, with moving targets. It’s not an FPS.

The smartest option you may have. Is allowing the kill boys to get close to you. Let’s be conservative and say within 15 yards of you. Let them get close enough, that the moving target becomes larger for you. Allowing you to attempt aim and compensation. Or just aim. Let them get close enough so you can aim, and not waste ammo as it appears to be in rightfully short supply. It ups your chances of hitting the target. Even while moving.

She makes a few kills from 50 yards up to 70 yards away. But by and large waste their ammo. Which I mean. Again. What do you expect will happen?

You might also toss out there, that ‘Well it’s not like they could stop or anything and take precise shots while being chased!”

Actually they can, and do stop suddenly. The androids that were hungry for murder. Who were running directly beside the bike, and had no worry of bullet fire. For reasons. Suddenly are dramatically slowed down and Sam is able to, This is a good one.

Sam stops his bike, tells Georgia to get off and. “I’ll leave you here and go distract them while you run off and find cover”

Leave your pregnant wife, who can’t run, in the kill bot forest, while you zoom zoom off as the destractonater.

Sure why not.

If you can pull over for a full minute conversation. You can pull over at points, take aim shoot, and take off. THAT is an FPS I know. But you could also reload if you have ammunition. But sure lets split the party.

So because of this. Sam ends up. Taken as a hostage. By the androids.

This is interesting. Androids who have this far only killed every single human the very moment they come into view. Decide to take prisoners. And not just Sam. It is a prisoner camp. Multiple humans are held here. Why are they doing this? Is this some new strategy? A plan? Are they trying to negotiate? Doesn’t matter because no one has any answers and it doesn’t matter. Even when it comes up later, and people are genuinely concerned hearing this, and want to investigate it. It’s not why we’re here.

We are here. To watch the story, of a plan marked to fail. Come to fruition in its full failure.

So sam is a hostage. Georgia must go get Sam. So they can escape and get to the boats.

She accomplishes this, by the help of an odd scientist. Who happens to have two of the most amazing items you could ask for.

Stealth suits.

The ‘mandroid scientist made two stealth suits. Informing us how the robots see, and that these suits will make them appear invisibly to them. But he only has two suits. So they need to be careful.

Now, I said I laughed once in this movie. But then something else occurred that made me just, embrace the characters showing they just don’t care to pay attention, or care in general.

During this daring rescue. Georgia finds Sam on the floor, hands tied to a wall. She hears, and sees a robot, that same distracts so it won’t possibly see her. Proceed to stomp the ever loving Christ out of his broken ankle. His foot is barely hanging on to his leg at this point. She can see this. We all can see this. This is important to remember.

Because after they escape. In a truck driven by mandroid the scientist. You can guess why I call him that. But it really doesn’t matter as the film doesn’t even care at that point because again. It’s not the story we’re here for.

But during this truck drive to free Boston. Georgia begins giving birth and blanks out. She reawakens in a hospital with a healthy baby boy, and her boyfriend in a bed beside her.

She’s thrilled with the baby, and her boyfriend jokes with her that he also has some not so great news for her. She pulls back his blanket and….both of his legs are gone. Amputated.

And then comes the moment I embraced. Seeing this, and with as much emotion as she can throw out. She ask him “Why did they do this to you…”

Why did they do this.

For one. His one leg was beaten into a mess of pulp and crushed bone.

Another reason. It prevented him from bleeding out and dying.

They had to save him.

But his answer was that, they didn’t have the tools to do anything more than that. And he still might die. Imagine a reverse Padme.

But seriously. When doctors save your life, and the person who saved you from death, and saw your leg get ripped to fuck all and back. You ask accusingly “Why did they do this to you…” Really?

So how does it end? Oh it ends as it was intended to end.

Predictably and poorly.

So while Boston burns, our heroes have made it to the ship dock, and sure enough. There’s a Korean ship waiting. So what do we learn? Do they take families? Is it a sham? Do they kill them and take the baby? Do they eat them?!

Well, the nurse was right. Husbands are not allowed. Especially wheelchair husbands. They inform her that, her husband is a risk. He requires food, which is short. As well as medical attention. As she motions to the wheelchair.

BUT, in a twist anyone could see coming. They also tell her they can’t take her. She too. Requires care and food which they cannot do.

But they can however afford to take and feed newborns which then will require a lot of medical attention, and more food as they grow. But that’s not the important part. The important part is that mama failure and wheels can’t go to Korea. Only their baby.

So mom decides sure why not. She ask for a moment to stare at her baby and picture a farewell to them, and express her feelings, and sentiment. But the movie wants you hurt and crying. So they suddenly cut her off. The Korean lady tells her “Time to go”, so no fond sweet farewell for their baby. She filled out paperwork. The baby is taken away, and mom is left with dad for one final speech. The film cuts from this moment to Georgia on her own, coming across a military truck, which ask her if she wants a ride to a camp, where they could use help, enlist people and offer safety. To which she stares off thoughtfully and says…sure yeah lets go.

The end.

What happened to Sam? Did she wheel him off into the water and walk away? Did she tell him she’s going to get some ice cream and be right back but never came back? No. He’s just dead, or gone. Both. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. She gave up her baby so they could have a life and future in a country somehow unaffected by the android killswitch. Would’ve been interesting to find out about that and why that was. But no.

Now as we reached the end of this, experience. I have one last thing to share. One last point of annoyance for women. Because it’s repeated constantly to the point of annoyance. But more importantly. It’s something that genuinely seems to upset Georgia, and Sam at times again seems to take very seriously.

There is a running gag at various moments. Where they first started off as teasing over names in the “Well if it’s a girl, we will call her” and he answers with “Well, its gonna be a boy, so his name will be.”

Any time this comes up. Every time. It comes up. It starts off as I said like a tease at first. But soon. Based on how they play it. Comes off as a serious and annoyed “No, it’s going to be a boy.” “Well she is kicking.” “No..he is kicking” And when their baby is born they go back to this by him smirking and throwing out there that he was right, it was a boy.

It just plays off as missed marks. Missed opportunities, lots of ideas that seemed interesting, and could’ve been. But instead are just dropped. It’s bad writing because the moments are forced.

They are put there to add something to your story. To introduce ideas, talking points. Something to wonder about and hold your interest.

In a well written story. Low budget, Independent, Big studio, whatever. It can work. Not often. But it can. In most cases it plays off as well as telling people, you need to have watched this series of cryptic short youtube videos to understand these references or understand what happened and the film didn’t show you.

Someone will do it, and likely be happy for it. But by and large no one likes it.

Your script should not come off as a pitch meeting to your audience. If you want to give it depth, give more story elements. Things to expand and grow your world? Do it. Don’t offer the suggestion and then walk past it. There’s a large leap in moments like that, and say something like Cloverfield where you get bits and pieces of information on the rest of the city and attacks happening. Those bits of information have payoffs. But that film also began the whole goddamn ‘Watch these videos about a youtuber eating kelp from the sea that mutates them, watch these videos about the guy who’s leaving for Japan. Go to this website to see hidden messages and what happened that could relate to the monster.

Just. Don’t.

The trailer held promise. It looked honestly interesting. But the film itself was just boring and uneven. Characters seemed lost or in the case of Sam bullied for reasons left unknown to us. Seriously It would’ve been great to see if those people didn’t care for Same because they were aware Georgia wasn’t wanting to be with him, or he was just a prick. Instead we get random moments of him coming off as blindly doing whatever he feels is right by him, or is the thing Georgia wants him to do. And when he commits to something, he does it to an extent he comes off as bullying her.

It’s just a weird mix.

I genuinely have hope for the director. I’d like to see what else they will do and come up with. It’s just unfortunate that their first outing. At least for some was a huge miss.

But I also feel some of that is do to, like always. Media.

When you make fake articles. When you hire twitter to make your headlines for you, hyping up a movie that just came out, and you want to get people talking about it. So you do the worst thing you can.

You title your article “People are destroyed watching this movie”, “There’s a film people can’t finish on Netflix!”, “I’m still shaking after this movie on Hulu!”

You fill the article with tweets that include “I’m not crying your crying!”  “For real, this movie just ended me omg”, “Please movie stop already, I can’t cry any more”, “Seriously this movie is haunting me!”

You take 3 paragraphs before finally giving the damn title of the film.

These things. Honestly the fact people can write this, and are hired to do so. Fuck me with rock candy, why am I not reviewing movies for Yahoo. Pay me.I can write words and post tweets to fill up an article. I’m almost convinced an algorithm is writing these things.

But these types of articles, and hype tweets people do for likes. It doesn’t help. These stories come out, I sigh, decided okay. Whats the movie ‘this time’. Then you watch it, and the movie, very often. Is a let down. They do this to get you watching the movie. Which I did so kudos. I just wish it was worth it.

Sometimes the best hype you can do for a film. Is letting people find it on their own and speak honestly on it. Even if you shit on a film, and tell people why you shit on it. They’ll give it a look. That’s why I try to tell you all what I found wrong with the film and still say give it a go. Because what I might hate, you may love. Just ask my sister.

But same goes for showering praise. If you just give it honest feedback. You’ll get a better, often times more favorable response.

Honesty however doesn’t always get you the likes. Unless you got a blue checkmark and people want to be seen by senpai.

The best example I can give of how horrible things are, if you truly need an example. I suggest the following.

Go visit Youtube, and look up the trailer for whatever new movie marvel is shoving out at us. Doesn’t matter which one. Begin slowly scrolling through the comment section.

You will see a buffet of copy pasted comments. Fake accounts posting similar comments. People literally taking and posting the exact same comment. People asking who’s hyped for this. Whos gonna be there day one. This movie will be lit. This movie is gonna destroy box office records. And more people asking who agrees. As well as the oh so fun “That moment had my hairs on end!!”

Somewhere in the middle of all that madness. You will find a few actual honest comments. Bogged down in the hype train delivered by the studio, delivered by influencers. Delivered by bots and assholes.

But that’s just one slice in the pie of crap that was this whole experience. One steaming stinky piece.

Again though like I said, I look forward to what else the director does. I hope they do well. Really. Just. Lets not talk about this film, and move on.

I mean check it out if you like, but. Well yeah.