Day 21 Leprechaun 1 and 2

“WHERE’S me pot o’gold?! GARTH! I’m the Leprechaun!”

God bless Wayne’s World, and that’s always what comes to mind when I think of this movie.

This is another classic fun horror. It’s campy and knows it, while also giving us the same camp level kills, and balancing just the right bit of scary. I also enjoy it because the sequel is sort of a forgotten bit of cheesy goodness.

You mention Leprechaun and people either remember Jennifer Aniston in the first one, or when he was in Vegas.

Or the second time he was in the hood.

And especially in space.

But few talk about part 2

We’ll get into that one soon.

Leprechaun

Another one of those we saw in theaters as kids. Our parents were pretty rad growing up.

So the Leprechaun is kept in shadow, they wanted to reveal his face to us much later. He’s happily doing what all Leprechauns do. Counting his gold, while giving us a cheerful warning about anyone who steels a leprechauns gold, never survives the night. Which brings us to the first sober Irishman in this film. A man coming home by way of limo, announces to his irritated wife that she’d better say goodbye to this old dump and hello! To mansion life!

Mr O’Grady had stolen from the leprechaun. He caught him even and shoved him into a suitcase. Which is all fine for Leprechauns as they live with magic so. A small space can be rather spacious.

But Mr O’Grady’s wife isn’t having any of this bullshit. She doesn’t want the money, the problems, or a limo. Which I don’t blame her. I mean seriously why drive out to your shack in a limo? It’s something a kid would do, and even then they’d go pick up a new suit and lots of gifts. But that’s neither here nor there. Why? BECAUSE there’s a freakin Leprechaun in the house and this old ladies gonna die!. Which she of course DOES! She takes a tumble down some stairs and the Leprechaun decides now is a good time for tea. Which I can agree with honestly.

So this being the setup for the films story. Mr Ogrady can’t deal with his wife being dead because she had to see what was making noises in a suitcase he warned her not to go near or open. So he says “I’ve had enough of your shit! Eat clover you bastard!” Actually he didn’t but it’s a rough translation of irish speak. So our possible hero, possible villain Leprechaun is pushed into a crate, which is sealed with nails, covered with a four leaf clover on top to keep the Leprechaun powerless inside. Apparently four leaf clovers are the kryptonite of Leprechauns.

So sealed in a crate? Check

Dosed in Gasoline? Check

Ready for a stroke? What?-AAAH!

So yes, he can’t destroy the cursed crate and beast within. He almost does. But instead the house sits empty undisturbed for years. Which is perfect for Jennifer Aniston to bitch about and move into with her father.

Which is the only semi complaint I have in the movie.

This was a product of the 90’s. 93 to be exact.

So feminism wasn’t especially handled that well past, really being not? A Feminism?

So She complains about the house being dusty, and old, and EEEEK! Spider! Scarey! Let’s move!! But when hunky house painter/fixer/hotty work man shows up and challenges her womanhood. He calls her a girl. So she readies to jump down his throat about calling her girl, and informs him this is the 90’s, they are women, and afraid of nothing. Though she just complained to him about the same rant she gave her father about cobwebs and bugs. So her dad comes out from the house, bags ready to go back in the car. But she suddenly acts like “Wait what are you doing, put the bags back. We didn’t say go. We can handle this.” So there’s your feminism. It’s, not that great.

So leaving Jennifer Aniston and Not Kevin Bacon. We meet Ozzy and Alex. A kid who desperately wants a beer, and a pretty slow adult who likes to makeup stories.

So naturally Ozzy is the one to free the Leprechaun when he pushes the four leaf clover off the box. Giving us a bit of a fun moment with the Leprechaun. He informs Ozzy of what and who he is, by pointing out as he often proudly does. His shiny buckles on his shoes, his fancy top hat. Why he even has a name!! If you were curious it’s Lubden.

So to show his thanks for being freed, Lubden shines Ozzy’s shoes. He has this thing with shoes, he likes polishing them.

So now with a Leprechaun free to do as he wants. Well that means it’s time for fun and freedom. Ireland is all about it’s freedom anyway so lets enjoy it!

Which he does. By stealing a small gokart as his new ride and getting pulled over by a cop for speeding.

He also at one point uses a pogo stick as a deadly weapon. Bouncing and puncturing poor old man Grady’s chest. Oh yes he was alive. Keyword was.  There’s genuinely a ton of fun in this movie. Especially when it comes to Lubden. The director was influenced heavily by Critters and it shows. He wanted a film centered around a family in a farm house, battling a super natural creature. As for the Leprechaun himself? He got inspired for the films idea off of Lucky Charms….yeah…..yeah.

Personally my favorite scene in the movie, is the group armed with a shotgun run to their truck to make an escape for the hospital. But the Leprechaun comes out to meet them and fight! But they manage to stop him by. Tossing shoes out into the road. Which he can’t help himself but clean. Each and every shoe they throw. Allowing Jennifer Aniston to flee, which he see’s and tries to follow. But the group keep tossing shoes distracting him. It’s flippin hilarious and It always cracks me up.

What got me as a kid was him finding a tricycle in the barn house and taking off on it like a bat out of hell.

So the group discover the Leprechaun just wants his gold back. That’s all! So they do it. They actually give him all his gold back and the Leprechaun is just like “Well…alright damn. Okay take care, god bless!”

Unfortunately he doesn’t have all his gold. Ozzy while testing the gold by biting it to see if it was real(Because that’s what they do in movies) he ended up swallowing it. So instead of waiting for him to crap it out, and not wanting to dig into that pile. The Leprechaun decides he’s going to claw it out of his belly instead. With his belt buckle no less.

The group, thanks to the last words of Mr. O’Grady. Learn the four leaf clover is the only way to defeat him. So they go searching through a clover patch.

Poor ozzy regrets swallowing the coin as the Leprechaun slashes away at him. But his best buddy and not entirely annoying alcoholic kid friend decides he’s had enough of this shit and wants to go home and enjoy a nice scotch. So he takes the four leaf clover and wraps it around a rock in his slingshot. Taking aim at poor Lubden and lucky shot of shots! He hits his mark and the Leprechaun dissolves before their eyes.

But that’s not enough. No! They have to also set the well on fire with gas. Which causes the well to explode! Forever dooming Lubden until the amazingness that was part 2!!

Leprechaun 2

Once Upon a time….in Ireland. That’s how the film opens. Once Upon a Time. Buckle up this is a ride.

The story open in jolly old Ireland. It’s St Patrick’s day, and while chasing after his own personal slave, man servant William. Who he reminds what date it is, and it’s importance. See Lubden is 1000 years old today.

And he wants to get laid. Actually to be more creepily specific. He wants a bride. For some reason a Leprechaun can only claim a bride on their 1000th birthday.

Also unfortunately, the chosen bride is the daughter of his man servant William.

So of course William will not stand for this madness.

Now, for the complicated magical right of marriage for the Leprechaun. The bride to be has to inhale this magical dust and…upon sneezing three times, she will become his forever. Which I mean. Aside from bedroom time, It might not be all that terrible.But I can’t say, and wouldn’t.

So as William interrupts this sacred sneezing ritual. He is doomed to a fate worse than death. The Leprechaun places a CURSE on his family. Promising him that in a thousand years time. He will find and wed the fairest of his bloodline!

So there’s our plot for Leprechaun 2 Mission to Wed

Fast forward to present day and we meet the descendant of Mr Man servant William. Does this Retcon the events of the first film? Just a hell of a lot. But it’s worth it!

In the future, later in the 90’s we find the bride to be, a pretty blonde, who is friends with a weirdo loser who drives people for a creepy haunted tour. Which isn’t creepy, or haunted. It’s just…a dull night time hearse ride around California.

It’s an early death house tour.

So he’s not the greatest pick as far as boyfriends go, but she could do worse.

In fact, there’s a Leprechaun waiting to show her his underground tunnel. No that is not a sex thing. I think… I’ll get back to you on that.

So our Leprechaun comes back through a tree, which leads to his humble home. Which he is awoken from once a drunk homeless man drops a bottle of whiskey at the door, which the Leprechaun fights him for. There is, fair warning. A lot of drinking in this movie. Like. A lot. But the Leprechaun cannot stomach this whisket as it’s blended Canadian whiskey. And “Ta only whiskey be irish whiskey!”

The other alcohol fueled member of our film would be the legal guardian of the loser boyfriend. His dad is a lush drunk. We were introduced to him in the movie, sitting at a bar, sloshed out of his mind, trying to sell someone on a scam. Remember this as it plays into the story. Eventually.

So the homeless man introduces us to a new aspect of the Leprechaun. Aside his fetish for shoe polishing. He enjoys collecting any and everything gold. Which the homeless man discovers as he has a gold tooth which Lubden claims. A fair price for not drinking Irish whiskey, some would say.

Thus begins Lubdens quest. As he roams around the future world waiting to find his bride to be. He spends his spare time collecting gold. Gold rings, gold teeth, gold watches. Anything gold. He loves goooooooooold.

He also enjoys gleeful murder. Like a forgotten but very fun death in this movie. A douche nozzle who doesn’t understand the fair lady is already dating someone, and tries getting her to bang him. Get’s kneed in the groin and she tells him off. Good for her! But the douche soon sees her in a now open garage, sensually calling out to him. So he dumbly follows and she decides to flash him some boobs. Which are rather nice. But he doesn’t question her sudden change of mind from telling him off to now showing the goods. Nor does he question hearing a Leprechaun giggle close by.

Which he really should because as the vision of the lady fair instructs him to kiss her breast. He’s about to kiss a lawnmower stood on his side atop a garbage can. Which he does kiss, and it’s splendid. Just splendid.

After some lawn play it’s time to make his move! The Leprechaun finds the lady fair and disguises himself as her boyfriend. Using more of his cursed magic to make her sneeze, 3 times this time! So now he can slap a collar on her and take her to his hobbit hole which he humbly tells her “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

Well the very moment they’re home he waste no time in fixing her up a drink of ancient Irish whiskey before they get down to bed business. Which is not at all tempting.

Especially when he informs her she will be bearing him a litter of little ones. That she’ll also have to have her face changed, insides changes. Yes. He’s going to dig around in her guts, and no. Not in a sexual way.

I hope.

But fortunately for her, and all of us. There will be no sexing on this night. For he is missing a gold piece, and this takes priority over his wife to be and their litter of little ones.

This is where we dig in and prepare for a showdown. The film stops things and lets us in on some Leprechaun background. We learn what they are masters of, and what they want. We learn what they can do and most importantly of all. We learn what can harm them. Wrought iron. Yep. When you can’t find four leaf clovers. You go for Wrought Iron.

After learning this, we are ready for round one if fight the Leprechaun. Which takes place in a bar, with many many many little people. All dressed as Leprechauns.

But soon Lubden joins our dopey boyfriend and his legal guardian. For a drink off.

Yes. The lush guardian talks Lubden into a drinking contest.

The little people begin a cheer supporting Lubden because “Come on guys, he’s one of us!” So yes, they cheer the creepy song from FREAKS “One of us, one of us”

But my favorite is the Leprechaun firing off “Drink what your able, drink what you want. If your drinkin with me, You’ll be under the table” And so the challenge is set and they begin.

Which ends with Morty, the Lush Guardian tricking the leprechaun and getting him absolutely hammered drunk off several bottles of irish whiskey.

But it doesn’t last. He sobers up the moment he senses these two men might try and kidnap him and do god only knows what with him. So he bolts out of the bar.

Meanwhile his bride is exploring her new cave home and discovers a box of nifty treasures and weapons.. Which she plans to use and shank our poor stumbling Lubden. Who is drinking away his headache with coffee. Which once he has fully recovered, he kills the Barista with hot steam from an espresso machine.

So round two of fight the Leprechaun is underway. This time it’s the boyfriends turn.

Seeing as how wrought iron will defeat the leprechaun. They decide the best thing to do, is hide his gold coin inside….a wrought iron safe. Which, I mean. It’ll work in hiding the gold but. Not much, else?

But low and behold!!! They used the safe as a trap! They were able to trap the Leprechaun inside the safe.

It’s actually working! They. They trapped Lubden and can get the lady fair back!

Until Morty, the lush guardian decides to screw this over big time. He remembers that if you capture a leprechaun, they have to grant you 3 wishes. So. He decides to use this situation to make himself rich. He ask the Leprechaun to give him all of his gold. Which Lubden does. In fact he deposits all the gold into Morty’s belly. Which is filled with an actual cast iron pot of gold. Morty now in pain uses his second wish to free the Leprechaun and a third wish to. Well. Ask him to take the gold out of his belly.

So far the fight isn’t going so well. Morty the drunk is dead. The Leprechaun has his gold back and his bride. All that’s left is the bedding and litter making.

But Lubden is pissed and wants some revenge. So he pulls up in a gokart he tricked out. With the words “IWANT” and MEGOLD” painted on the sides. It even has a Four Leaf Clover with a red x through it on the hood. It’s great.

But aha! He can’t kill the boyfriend. Because the boyfriend still has the one piece of gold. Somehow. So as long as he holds it. He can’t be killed.

So obviously it’s time for ROUND THREE!!!

When all other clever ploys fail

When your drunk guardian screws up the best trick you had

And nothins is working out.

Time to say screw it and grab a wrought iron bar to go crown yourself a leprechaun.

That’s right. Our dopey boyfriend is headed to Cave town to pipe beat a leprechaun.

Does it work? Well of course it does. But not until we have a Dungeons and Dragons styled adventure where our hero battles the skeleton of Ludbans former slave, The lady fair breaks free of her slave collar, and the two group up to quest together.

Or so he thinks, as the leprechaun disguises himself as his girlfriend, even kisses him and ask for the gold coin. Which he gives over because, lady kisses are nice and we all like them lots.

OR SO HE THINKS!!!

Old dopey tricked Lubden!! He gave him a chocolate gold covered coin and shanks the leprechaun in the chest with wrought iron. REPRESENT!!!

And so false our beloved Lubden. Back to being an incel in his man cave. Doomed to stay there until he’s brought back and finds Las Vegas. Then visits the hood. Twice. Ventures out into space. Gets a remake that sucked horribly. Then a sequel without Warwick Davis which actually takes place after the events of the first one tossing out the previous sequels. Of which there are 8 total.

They’re all cheesy and a bit fun. Even when he becomes a walking joke. They still have a good number of classic moments and encounters.

I will admit though, readily even. That these films are by no means amazing. But they are a good pair. As my criteria fits. They further the character and story, even if it retcons things a bit. They have the same humor but take it up a notch between that and the kills. The only strike against it I can give? Is that the movie had the unfortunate task of being made and released in the early 90’s.

This was a time for horror that no one enjoyed. Violent video games and movies were being blamed for a great many things. This was a time between the last of the 80’s and early 90’s were things happened you wouldn’t imagine now, and younger people discover on the internet later. Like when Mortal Kombat came out and was about to see release on the Nintento and Genesis gaming systems. Parents worried these violent games would make killers of their kids, so the blood in the game was removed. And turned milky white instead. However if you owned a Sega Genesis, you could enter a cheat code and get the original blood back in the game. Horror movies suffered equally. Films like Friday the 13th Jason takes Manhattan had the violence severely tones down. There was little blood in a slasher film. So the same happens here. While the kills are great and creative. The deaths happen off screen.

Horror wasn’t the only one to suffer this. The live action Ninja Turtle films that came out back then? The turtles never once use their weapons against the people they fight. Not once. Because they didn’t want to encourage kids to beat others with weapons. So they had badly done fist fights and kicks. Because it made sense damnit!

Hell even film scores suffered. The music for the original Leprechaun was great! it was catchy, whimsical, dark, and a bit Irish. The sequels, not so much. Again siting Friday the 13th. Again, amazing memorable scores. But they were shrunk down and no longer treated with respect. They gave way to synth sounding music, not John Carpenter Synth mind you but...Well Listen to a random track from any of the first 5 Friday the 13th films. Then pick a track from either Friday the 13th The New Blood, or Jason takes Manhattan. You'll know what I mean. The 90's again had this weird sound to it for anything horror, and it was not a good look, or sound.

That’s the only real flaw with the movie. Otherwise it follows the same cheesy dumb logic of the first one and that’s the most we can ask of it. Which I enjoy, and honestly compared to the path the others took after this one? You could do a lot worse.

But rediscover it if you can. I saw the first one in theaters with my family, and the second one myself and my cousin rented to watch one Friday night and had a lot of fun. We used to rent and watch a lot of horror together, especially B rated crapfest. But this one delivered all the goods and gold it was meant to. So it lands itself on this list. Check it out!